window onunload - Page 254

Clarification of a some code

- by Legend

I have come across a website that appears to use Ajax but does not include any js file except one file called ajax.js which has the following: function run(c, f, b, a, d) { var e = null; if (b && f) { document.getElementById(b).innerHTML = f } if (window.XMLHttpRequest) { e = new XMLHttpRequest() } else { if (window.ActiveXObject) { e = new ActiveXObject(Microsoft.XMLHTTP) } } e.onreadystatechange = function () { if (e.readyState == 4) { if (e.status == 200 || e.statusText == "OK") { if (b) { document.getElementById(b).innerHTML = e.responseText } if (a) { setTimeout(a, 0) } } else { console.log("AJAX Error: " + e.status + " | " + e.statusText); if (b && d != 1) { document.getElementById(b).innerHTML = "AJAX Error. Please try refreshing." } } } }; e.open("GET", c, true); e.setRequestHeader("Content-Type", "application/x-www-form-urlencoded"); e.send(null) } Like you might have guessed, the way it issues queries inside the page with queries like this: run('page.php',loadingText,'ajax-test', 'LoadSamples()'); I must admit that this is the first time I've seen a page from which I could not figure how things are being done. I have a few questions: Is this Server-Side Ajax or something similar? If not, can someone clarify what exactly is this? Why does one use this? Is it for hiding the design details? (which are otherwise revealed in plain text by javascript) How difficult would it be to convert my existing application into this design pattern? (maybe a subjective question but any short suggestion will do) Any suggestions?

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redirecting _top page from asp:login control in iframe onloggedin

- by jumpdart

So yeah, Im building a little authenticated content(.NET app) to a large html site managed by another group. They are only comfortable with managing html so all my app content will be contained in iframes. Everything is working fine as far as navigation and calling services and whatnot but i cant bust out of the frame with my asp:login control. Im trying to register some JS on logged in but with no success. Thanks protected void login_LoggedIn(object sender, EventArgs e) { StringBuilder strScript = new StringBuilder(); strScript.Append("<script language='javascript'>"); string sHome = ConfigurationManager.AppSettings["AppHomePageURL"].ToString(); //strScript.AppendFormat("window.navigate('{0}');", sHome); //strScript.AppendFormat("parent.location.href='{0}';", sHome); //strScript.AppendFormat("window.open('{0}', '_top', '', false);", sHome); strScript.AppendFormat("top.location.href='{0}';", sHome); strScript.Append("WTF_let_me_outa_here();"); strScript.Append("</script>"); ClientScript.RegisterClientScriptBlock(typeof(Page), "LoginGO", strScript.ToString()); }

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Jquery ajax load not working

- by Slay

This is my code: test.html <html> <head> <title>test</title> <script src="http://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.8.2/jquery.min.js"></script> <script> $(document).ready(function(){ $(window).bind('hashchange', function(){ $('#result').load('test2.html', function(){ alert('Load was performed.'); }); }); }); </script> </head> <body> <a href="#Test1">Test 1</a> <a href="#Test2">Test 2</a> <div id="result"></div> </body> </html> test2.html <h3>This is content from test2.html</h3> I want to detect the specific page to load using window.hash in change. For instance if user go to http://localhost/test.html#test2 The main container(result) in the page will do an ajax load call to test2.html to get the content. I can't manage to get this simple code working. Appreciate if someone can guide me in the right direction. Thanks.

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Cannot reach reach jQuery (in parent document ) from IFRAME

- by Michael Joyner

I have written a backup program for SugarCRM. My program sets a iframe to src=BACKUP.PHP My backup program sends updates to parent window with: echo "<script type='text/javascript'>parent.document.getElementById('file_size').value='".fileSize2human(filesize($_SESSION['archive_file_name']))."';parent.document.getElementById('file_count').value=".$_SESSION['archive_file_count'].";parent.document.getElementById('description').innerHTML += '".$log_entry."\\r\\n';parent.document.getElementById('description').scrollTop = parent.document.getElementById('description').scrollHeight;</script>"; echo str_repeat( ' ', 4096); flush(); ob_flush(); I have added a JQUERY UI PROGRESS BAR and I need to know how I update the progress bar on the parent window. I tried this: $percent_complete = $_SESSION['archive_file_count'] / $_SESSION['archive_total_files']; echo "<script type='text/javascript'>parent.document.jquery('#progressbar').animate_progressbar($percent_complete); </script>"; ......... and get this error in browser. Uncaught TypeError: Object [object HTMLDocument] has no method 'jquery' HOW CAN I UPDATE THE PROGRESS BAR IN PARENT DOCUMENT FROM THE IFRAME?

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Using Javascript to get URL Vars, not working when multiple values present in QueryString

- by bateman_ap

Hi, I am using a Javascript function to get the values of a URL to pass to jQuery using the function below: function getUrlVars() { var vars = [], hash; var hashes = window.location.href.slice(window.location.href.indexOf('?') + 1).split('&'); for(var i = 0; i < hashes.length; i++) { hash = hashes[i].split('='); vars.push(hash[0]); vars[hash[0]] = hash[1]; } return vars; } And then setting the value like this: var type = getUrlVars()["type"] This all works perfectly, however I have just come into a situation where I need to get multiple values, one of my form elements are checkboxes where multiple values can be checked, so my URL will look something like this: http://www.domain.com/test.php?type=1&cuisine[]=23&cuisine[]=43&name=test If I alert out the cuisine value using the function above I only ever get the final value: alert (getUrlVars()["cuisine[]"]); Would alert "43". What I would like it to be is a comma delimited string of all "cuisine" values. ie in the above example "23,43" Any help very welcome! In case any solution requires it I am using PHP 5.3 and Jquery 1.4

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How do I unbind another jQuery function on .click()?

- by Mike Barwick

I have this script that run to fix my menu bar to the browser on scroll. Nothing really needs to change here (works as it should). However, you may need it... var div = $('#wizMenuWrap'); var editor = $('#main_wrapper'); var start = $(div).offset().top; $(function fixedPackage(){ $.event.add(window, "scroll", function() { var p = $(window).scrollTop(); $(div).css('position',((p)>start) ? 'fixed' : 'static'); $(div).css('top',((p)>start) ? '0px' : ''); //Adds TOP margin to #main_wrapper (required) $(editor).css('position',((p)>start) ? 'relative' : 'static'); $(editor).css('top',((p)>start) ? '88px' : ''); }); }); Now for the issue at hand. I have another script function that calls a modal pop-up (which again works as it should). However, it's not slick from a UI perspective when I scroll the page when the modals open. So I want to disable the script above when the modal script below is called. In other words, when I click to open the modal pop-up, the script above shouldn't work. $(function () { var setUp = $('.setupButton'); // SHOWS SPECIFIED VIEW $(setUp).click(function () { $('#setupPanel').modal('show'); //PREVENTS PACKAGE SELECT FIXED POSITION ON SCROLL $(setUp).unbind('click',fixedPackage); }); }) As you can see above, I tried to unbind the scroll function (the first code snippet), but this is not correct. These two scripts are in two separate js libraries.

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Cannot understand the behaviour of C# compiler while instantiating a class thru interface

- by Newbie

I have a class that implements an interface. The interface is public interface IRiskFactory { void StartService(); void StopService(); } The class that implements the interface is public class RiskFactoryService : IRiskFactory { } Now I have a console application and one window service. From the console application if I write the following code static void Main(string[] args) { IRiskFactory objIRiskFactory = new RiskFactoryService(); objIRiskFactory.StartService(); Console.ReadLine(); objIRiskFactory.StopService(); } It is working fine. However, when I mwrite the same piece of code in Window service public partial class RiskFactoryService : ServiceBase { IRiskFactory objIRiskFactory = null; public RiskFactoryService() { InitializeComponent(); objIRiskFactory = new RiskFactoryService(); <- ERROR } /// <summary> /// Starts the service /// </summary> /// <param name="args"></param> protected override void OnStart(string[] args) { objIRiskFactory.StartService(); } /// <summary> /// Stops the service /// </summary> protected override void OnStop() { objIRiskFactory.StopService(); } } It throws error: Cannot implicitly convert type 'RiskFactoryService' to 'IRiskFactory'. An explicit conversion exists (are you missing a cast?) When I type cast to the interface type, it started working objIRiskFactory = (IRiskFactory)new RiskFactoryService(); My question is why so?

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How to draw histogram in Processing

- by theolc

I have an arrayList and I would like to take the size of the ten arrayList elements and use the sizes to create a histogram. I understand processing coordinate system starts in the top left corner. My question is, how do I use the arrayList.size() values to start at 450 (based from a 500,500 window) and go upwards from there to create my histogram. The following is my function for the histogram, it is receiving as a parameter the arrayList called bins. void histogram(ArrayList[] bins) { //set window background(0,0,0); size(500,500); background(255,255,255); line(50,0,50,500); line(0,450,500,450); int i; for (i = 50; i <= 500; i+=45) { line(i,450,i,480); } for (i = 50; i <= 450; i+=45) { line(50,i,20,i); } } Thanks in adavance for any help and input!

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How to append query parameter at runtime using jQuery

- by Wondering

Through JavaScript I am appending one query parameter to the page url and I am facing one strange behaiviour. <div> <a href="Default3.aspx?id=2">Click me</a> </div> $(function () { window.location.href = window.location.href + "&q=" + "aa"; }); Now I am appending &q=aa in default3.aspx and in this page the &q=aa is getting added continuously, causing the URL to become: http://localhost:1112/WebSite2/Default3.aspx?id=2&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa&q=aa One would say just pass it like <a href="Default3.aspx?id=2&q=aa">Click me</a>, but I cant do that. The value of this query parameter is actually the value of an HTML element which is in default3.aspx. I have to add it in runtime. What are the ways to achieve this?

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Accessing "pseudo-globals" by their name as a string

- by rob

I am now in the process of removing most globals from my code by enclosing everything in a function, turning the globals into "pseudo globals," that are all accessible from anywhere inside that function block. (function(){ var g = 1; var func f1 = function () { alert (g); } var func f2= function () { f1(); } })(); (technically this is only for my "release version", where I append all my files together into a single file and surround them with the above....my dev version still has typically one global per js file) This all works great except for one thing...there is one important place where I need to access some of these "globals" by string name. Previously, I could have done this: var name = "g"; alert (window[name]); and it did the same as alert(g); Now -- from inside the block -- I would like to do the same, on my pseudo-globals. But I can't, since they are no longer members of any parent object ("window"), even though are in scope. Any way to access them by string? Thanks...

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Printing a JFrame and its components

- by Alex Terreaux

I have been working in a big program and one of its functionalities should be to print the contents of the main window. I checked the API and found this example: http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/2d/printing/gui.html it was very helpful, I tried to use that code in my program by placing this inside the actionperformed method of my print button: PrinterJob job = PrinterJob.getPrinterJob(); job.setPrintable(this); boolean ok = job.printDialog(); if (ok) { try { job.print(); } catch (PrinterException ex) { /* The job did not successfully complete */ } } If I click the print button, I get a printer dialog and when I tell it to print, it just prints a blank document. I know the above code is not all I need, as I've seen in the API's examples there is a print() method, but apparently they never call it, so it is pretty confusing. I've tried calling and using it many times, but with no success. Also, I think that when I finally get it to print, my window will need to be printed in the landscape orientation, it even may need some scaling. Any ideas on how to do that? I would like any useful help to help me implement this code successfully. I know I should be able to do it by myself just by checking the documentation (I've tried for almost 2 days now) but I can't get it to work. I've learned all the programming I know through the internet. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

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Call a Javascript Function with Jquery

- by danit

I have two functions in Javascript: function getWindowWidth(){ var x = 0; if (self.innerHeight){ x = self.innerWidth; }else if (document.documentElement && document.documentElement.clientHeight){ x = document.documentElement.clientWidth; }else if (document.body){ x = document.body.clientWidth; }return x; }function getWindowHeight(){ var y = 0; if (self.innerHeight){ y = self.innerHeight; }else if (document.documentElement && document.documentElement.clientHeight){ y = document.documentElement.clientHeight; }else if (document.body){ y = document.body.clientHeight; } These appear to set the height and width of the document window, based on the size of the window? I could be wrong here.... What I have done is embeded a toolbar above this document, this toolbar can be hidden or shown at various points. I need the above function to be called when I use the following jQuery, $("#Main").animate({top: "89px"}, 200); Any assistance greatly appreciated!

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Failed to maintain 100% width & height of structure in extjs

- by ayanonly1

HI, i am new in extjs. i want to build a page using extjs ____________ |HD__________| | p1 <| p2 | | | |--will be a viewport (will resize on window resize without any | | | Scroll bar | | | | | | | | | |___|_____| HD-- heading with 100 width p1-- panel 1 which will collapse on west and split = true p2-- panel 2 which will occupy remaining place i build the structure but failed to maintain it 100 % even on window resize bellow is my code EditorUi = Ext.extend(Ext.Viewport, { layout: 'fit', initComponent: function() { this.items = [ { xtype: 'panel', title: 'Heading', autoHeight: true, autoWidth: true, layout: 'hbox', items: [ { xtype: 'panel', title: 'Navigation', collapsible: true, region:'west', width:200, split:'true', margins:'3 0 3 3', cmargins:'3 3 3 3' }, { xtype: 'panel', title: 'container', region:'center', autoHeight: true, autoWidth: true, split:'true', margins:'3 0 3 3', cmargins:'3 3 3 3' } ] } ]; EditorUi.superclass.initComponent.call(this); } }); Ext.onReady(function(){ new EditorUi(); }) thanks in advance

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Set the Windows Explorer Startup Folder in Windows 7

- by Mysticgeek

When you open Windows Explorer from the Taskbar in Windows 7, it defaults to the Libraries view. Today we take a look at changing the target path to allow you to customize which location opens by default. When you click on the Windows Explorer icon on the Windows 7 Taskbar, it’s set to open to the Libraries view by default. You might not use the Libraries feature, or want to set it to a different location that is more commonly used. Set Windows Explorer Startup Location To change the default startup location for the Windows Explorer Taskbar icon, if you have no Explorer screens open, hold down the Shift key, right-click the Explorer icon, and select Properties. Or if you have Windows open, right-click on the Explorer icon to bring up the Jumplist, then right-click on Windows Explorer and select Properties. Windows Explorer Properties opens up and you’ll want to click on the Shortcut tab so we can change the Target. A common place you might want it to default to is your Documents folder. So to do that we need to enter the following into the Target field. %SystemRoot%\explorer.exe /n,::{450D8FBA-AD25-11D0-98A8-0800361B1103} Now when you open Windows Explorer from the Taskbar it defaults to My Documents… If you use the Start Menu to access Windows Explorer, open the Start Menu and go to All Programs \ Accessories and right-click on Windows Explorer then select Properties. Change the target path to where you want it to go. In this example we want Windows Explorer to open up to My Computer so we entered the following in the Target field. %SystemRoot%\explorer.exe /E,::{20D04FE0-3AEA-1069-A2D8-08002B30309D} When click on the Explorer icon in the Start Menu it defaults to My Computer… You can set it to open to various locations. For instance if you wanted to mess with someone at work, you could enter the following and Explorer will always open to the Recycle Bin. %SystemRoot%\explorer.exe /E,::{645FF040-5081-101B-9F08-00AA002F954E} Conclusion Here we showed you a couple of commonly used locations that you might want Windows Explorer to open to instead of Libraries. You can set it to other locations if you know the GUID (Globally Unique Identifiers) for the object or location you want it to default to. For more on using GUIDs check out The Geek’s article on how to enable the secret “How-To Geek” mode in Windows 7. Actually it’s just a play on the so-called “God Mode” for Windows, but there is some good information, and a list of some locations you might want to have Windows Explorer open to. Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Make Explorer Show Window Titles in Windows VistaDisable Explorer Breadcrumbs in Windows VistaStill Useful in Vista: Startup Control PanelStop an Application from Running at Startup in Windows VistaHotkey for Creating New Folder in Windows Explorer TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips VMware Workstation 7 Acronis Online Backup DVDFab 6 Revo Uninstaller Pro Twelve must-have Google Chrome plugins Cool Looking Skins for Windows Media Player 12 Move the Mouse Pointer With Your Face Movement Using eViacam Boot Windows Faster With Boot Performance Diagnostics Create Ringtones For Your Android Phone With RingDroid Enhance Your Laptop’s Battery Life With These Tips

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Search Alternative Search Engines from within Bing’s Search Page

- by Asian Angel

So you love using Bing Search but may still be curious to see what another search engine will provide if used. Now you can search using another search engine from within the Bing Search page and enjoy numbered results using two simple user scripts. Note: These user scripts may also be added to other browsers as well (i.e. Iron, Opera, etc.). Before Bing Search does nicely on searches but what if you would like to try the same search with another search engine? Having to manually open a new tab, navigate to the appropriate website, and then start a new search is not too convenient. Another possible frustration for some people may be knowing just how many search results that they have looked through. Well, both of these small problems are easy to fix with two wonderful user scripts. Installing the Scripts The first script that we installed (you may do either one first) was for adding alternative search engine links. Click “Install” to get started… Note: For our example we had the Greasemonkey extension installed. When the confirmation window pops up click on “Install” to finish adding the user script to Firefox. Repeating the same procedure as above add your second script to Firefox. Confirm the second user script installation and you are ready to enjoy nicer Bing Search results. After As you can see there are two small unobtrusive differences in our search results. The alternative search engine links are conveniently located at the top of the page and now you can easily know just how many search results that you have looked through. The results when we decided to try the search in a transfer over to Yahoo. Our search transferred to Ask Search. The alternative search links can be very helpful if Bing is not providing the kind of search results that you are hoping for. Still going very nicely past the 100 mark… Conclusion If you have been wanting a small booster to searching with Bing then these two scripts will get you on your way. Using Opera Browser? See our how-to for adding user scripts to Opera here. Links Install the Bing (Alternate Search Engine Links) User Script Install the Bing Numbered Search Results User Script Download the Greasemonkey extension for Firefox (Mozilla Add-ons) Download the Stylish extension for Firefox (Mozilla Add-ons) Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Organize Your Firefox Search Engines Into FoldersFix for Slow "Instant Search" In Outlook 2007Gain Access to a Search Box in Google ChromeManage Web Searches In SafariModify Firefox’s Search Bar Behavior with SearchLoad Options TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips DVDFab 6 Revo Uninstaller Pro Registry Mechanic 9 for Windows PC Tools Internet Security Suite 2010 Heaven & Hell Finder Icon Using TrueCrypt to Secure Your Data Quickly Schedule Meetings With NeedtoMeet Share Flickr Photos On Facebook Automatically Are You Blocked On Gtalk? Find out Discover Latest Android Apps On AppBrain

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Ubuntu Control Center Makes Using Ubuntu Easier

- by Vivek

Users who are new to Ubuntu might find it somewhat difficult to configure. Today we take a look at using Ubuntu Control Center which makes managing different aspects of the system easier. About Ubuntu Control Center A lot of utilities and software has been written to work with Ubuntu. Ubuntu Control Center is one such cool utility which makes it easy for configuring Ubuntu. The following is a brief description of Ubuntu Control Center: Ubuntu Control Center or UCC is an application inspired by Mandriva Control Center and aims to centralize and organize in a simple and intuitive form the main configuration tools for Ubuntu distribution. UCC uses all the native applications already bundled with Ubuntu, but it also utilize some third-party apps like “Hardinfo”, “Boot-up Manager”, “GuFW” and “Font-Manager”. Ubuntu Control Center Here we look at installation and use of Ubuntu Control Center in Ubuntu 10.04. First we have to satisfy some dependencies. You will need to install Font-Manager and jstest-gtk (link below)…before installing Ubuntu Control Center (UCC). Click the Install Package button. You’ll be prompted to enter in your admin password for each installation package. Installation is successful…close out of the screen. Download and install Font-Manager…again you’ll need to enter in your password to complete installation. Once you have installed the two dependencies, you are all set to install Ubuntu Control Center (link below), double click the downloaded Ubuntu Control Center deb file to install it. Once installed you can find it under Applications \ System Tools \ UCC. Once you launch it you can start managing your system, software, hardware, and more. You can easily control various aspects of your Ubuntu System using Ubuntu Control Center. Here we look at configuring the firewall under Network and Internet. UCC allows easy access for configuring several aspects of your system. Once you install UCC you’ll see how easy it is to configure your Ubuntu system through an intuitive clean graphical interface. If you’re new to Ubuntu, using UCC can help you in setting up your system how you like in a user friendly way. Home Page of UCC http://code.google.com/p/ucc/ Links Download Font-Manager ManagerDownload jstest-gtkUbuntu Control Center (UCC) Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Adding extra Repositories on UbuntuAllow Remote Control To Your Desktop On UbuntuAssign a Hotkey to Open a Terminal Window in UbuntuInstall VMware Tools on Ubuntu Edgy EftInstall Monodevelop on Ubuntu Linux TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips Xobni Plus for Outlook All My Movies 5.9 CloudBerry Online Backup 1.5 for Windows Home Server Snagit 10 How to Forecast Weather, without Gadgets Outlook Tools, one stop tweaking for any Outlook version Zoofs, find the most popular tweeted YouTube videos Video preview of new Windows Live Essentials 21 Cursor Packs for XP, Vista & 7 Map the Stars with Stellarium

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Add New Features to WMP with Windows Media Player Plus

- by DigitalGeekery

Do you use Windows Media Player 11 or 12 as your default media player? Today, we’re going to show you how to add some handy new features and enhancements with the Windows Media Player Plus third party plug-in. Installation and Setup Download and install Media Player Plus! (link below). You’ll need to close out of Windows Media Player before you begin or you’ll receive the message below. The next time you open Media Player you’ll be presented with the Media Player Plus settings window. Some of the settings will be enabled by default, such as the Find as you type feature. Using Media Player Plus! Find as you type allows you to start typing a search term from anywhere in Media Player without having to be in the Search box. The search term will automatically fill in the search box and display the results. You’ll also see Disable group headers in the Library Pane. This setting will display library items in a continuous list similar to the functionality of Windows Media Player 10. Under User Interface you can enable displaying the currently playing artist and title in the title bar. This is enabled by default. The Context Menu page allows you to enable context menu enhancements. The File menu enhancement allows you to add the Windows Context menu to Media Player on the library pane, list pane, or both. Right click on a Title, select File, and you’ll see the Windows Context Menu. Right-click on a title and select Tag Editor Plus. Tag Editor Plus allows you to quickly edit media tags. The Advanced tab displays a number of tags that Media Player usually doesn’t show. Only the tags with the notepad and pencil icon are editable. The Restore Plug-ins page allows you to configure which plug-ins should be automatically restored after a Media Player crash. The Restore Media at Startup page allows you to configure Media Player to resume playing the last playlist, track, and even whether it was playing or paused at the time the application was closed. So, if you close out in the middle of a song, it will begin playing from that point the next time you open Media Player. You can also set Media Player to rewind a certain number of seconds from where you left off. This is especially useful if you are in the middle of watching a movie. There’s also the option to have your currently playing song sent to Windows Live Messenger. You can access the settings at any time by going to Tools, Plug-in properties, and selecting Windows Media Player Plus. Windows Media Plus is a nice little free plug-in for WMP 11 and 12 that brings a lot of additional functionality to Windows Media Player. If you use Media Player 11 or WMP 12 in Windows 7 as your main player, you might want to give this a try. Download Windows Media Player Plus! Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Install and Use the VLC Media Player on Ubuntu LinuxFixing When Windows Media Player Library Won’t Let You Add FilesMake VLC Player Look like Windows Media Player 10Make VLC Player Look like Windows Media Player 11Make Windows Media Player Automatically Open in Mini Player Mode TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips Xobni Plus for Outlook All My Movies 5.9 CloudBerry Online Backup 1.5 for Windows Home Server Snagit 10 Easily Create More Bookmark Toolbars in Firefox Filevo is a Cool File Hosting & Sharing Site Get a free copy of WinUtilities Pro 2010 World Cup Schedule Boot Snooze – Reboot and then Standby or Hibernate Customize Everything Related to Dates, Times, Currency and Measurement in Windows 7

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How To Disable Control Panel in Windows 7

- by Mysticgeek

If you have a shared computer that your family and friends can access, you might not want them to mess around in the Control Panel, and luckily with a simple tweak you can disable it. Disable Control Panel with Group Policy Note: This process uses Local Group Policy Editor which is not available in Home versions of Windows 7. Skip down below for the registry hack version that works on Home editions as well. First type gpedit.msc into the Search box in the Start menu and hit Enter. When Local Group Policy Editor opens, navigate to User Configuration \ Administrative Templates then select Control Panel in the left Column. In the right column double-click on Prohibit access to the Control Panel. In the next window, select Enable, click OK, then close out of Local Group Policy Editor. After the Control Panel is disabled, you’ll notice it’s no longer listed in the Start Menu. If the user tries to type Control Panel into the Search box in the Start menu, they will get the following message indicating it’s restricted. Disable Control Panel with a Registry Tweak You can also tweak the Registry to disable Control Panel. This will work with all versions of Windows 7, Vista, and XP. Making changes in the Registry is not recommended for beginners and you should create a Restore Point, or backup the Registry before making any changes. Type regedit into the Search box in the Start menu and hit Enter. In Registry Editor navigate to HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Windows\Current Version\Policies\Explorer. Then right-click in the right pane and create a new DWORD (32-bit) Value. Name the value NoControlPanel. Then right-click on the new Value and click Modify… In the Value data field change the value to “1” then click OK. Close out of Registry Editor and restart the machine to complete the process. When you get back from reboot, you’ll notice Control Panel is no longer listed in the Start menu. If a user tries to access it by typing Control Panel into the Search box in the Start menu… They will get the following message indicating it is restricted, just like if you were to disable it via Group Policy. If you want to re-enable the Control Panel, go back into the Registry and change the NoControlPanel value back to “0” then reboot the computer. This comes in handy if you have inexperienced users working on your machine and don’t want them messing with Control Panel settings. Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Disable User Account Control (UAC) the Easy Way on Win 7 or VistaStill Useful in Vista: Startup Control PanelRestore Missing Items in Windows Vista Control PanelHow To Manage Action Center in Windows 7New Vista Syntax for Opening Control Panel Items from the Command-line TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips DVDFab 6 Revo Uninstaller Pro Registry Mechanic 9 for Windows PC Tools Internet Security Suite 2010 Home Networks – How do they look like & the problems they cause Check Your IMAP Mail Offline In Thunderbird Follow Finder Finds You Twitter Users To Follow Combine MP3 Files Easily QuicklyCode Provides Cheatsheets & Other Programming Stuff Download Free MP3s from Amazon

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Add the Recycle Bin to Start Menu in Windows 7

- by Matthew Guay

Have you ever tried to open the Recycle Bin by searching for “recycle bin” in the Start menu search, only to find nothing? Here’s a quick trick that will let you find the Recycle Bin directly from your Windows Start menu search. The Start menu search may be the best timesaver ever added to Windows. In fact, we use it so much that it seems painful to manually search for a program when using Windows XP or older versions of Windows. You can easily find files, folders, programs and more through the Start menu search in both Vista and Windows 7. However, one thing you cannot find is the recycle bin; if you enter this in the start menu search it will not find it. Here’s how to add the Recycle Bin to your Start menu search. What to do To access the Recycle Bin from the Start menu search, we need to add a shortcut to the start menu. Windows includes a personal Start menu folder, and an All Users start menu folder which all users on the computer can see. This trick only works in the personal Start menu folder. Open up an Explorer window (Simply click the Computer link in the start menu), click the white part of the address bar, and, enter the following (substitute your username for your_user_name) and hit Enter. C:\Users\your_user_name\AppData\Roaming\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu Now, right-click in the folder, select New, and then click Shortcut. In the location box, enter the following: explorer.exe shell:RecycleBinFolder When you’ve done this, click Next. Now, enter a name for the shortcut. You can enter Recycle Bin like the standard shortcut, or you could name it something else such as Trash…if that’s easier for you to remember. Click Finish when your done. By default it will have a folder icon. Let’s switch that to the standard Recycle Bin icon. Right-click on the new shortcut and click Properties. Click Change Icon… Type the following in the “Look for icons in this file:” box, and press the Enter key on your keyboard: %SystemRoot%\system32\imageres.dll Now, scroll and find the Recycle Bin icon and click Ok. Click Ok in the previous dialog, and now your Recycle Bin shortcut has the correct icon. You can even have multiple shortcuts with different names, so when you searched either Recycle Bin or Trash it would come up in the Start menu. To do that, simply repeat these directions, and enter another name of your choice at the prompt. Here we have both a Recycle Bin and a Trash icon. Now, when you enter Recycle Bin (or trash, depending on what you chose) in your Start menu search, you will see it at the top of your Start menu. Simply press Enter or click on the icon to open the Recycle Bin. This trick will work in Windows Vista too! Simply follow these same directions, and you can add the Recycle Bin to your Vista Start menu and find it via search. This is a simple trick, but may make it much easier for you to open your Recycle Bin directly from your Windows Vista or 7 Start menu search. If you’re using Windows 7, you can also check out our directions on how to Add the Recycle Bin to the Taskbar in Windows 7. Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Hide, Delete, or Destroy the Recycle Bin Icon in Windows 7 or VistaDisable Deletion of the Recycle Bin in Windows VistaHide the Recycle Bin Icon Text on Windows VistaAdd the Recycle Bin to the Taskbar in Windows 7Resize the Recycle Bin in XP TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips Revo Uninstaller Pro Registry Mechanic 9 for Windows PC Tools Internet Security Suite 2010 PCmover Professional StockFox puts a Lightweight Stock Ticker in your Statusbar Explore Google Public Data Visually The Ultimate Excel Cheatsheet Convert the Quick Launch Bar into a Super Application Launcher Automate Tasks in Linux with Crontab Discover New Bundled Feeds in Google Reader

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Silverlight Cream for December 11, 2010 -- #1007

- by Dave Campbell

In this Issue: Mike Wolf, Colin Eberhardt, Mike Snow(-2-, -3-), David Kelley(-2-, -3-), Jesse Liberty(-2-), Erik Mork, Jeff Blankenburg, Laurent Duveau, and Jeremy Likness(-2-). Above the Fold: Silverlight: "The definitive guide to Notification Window in Silverlight 4" Laurent Duveau WP7: "Making the MS Adcontrol REALLY work on phone 7" David Kelley Silverlight 5: "Silverlight 5: In the Trenches" Mike Wolf From SilverlightCream.com: Silverlight 5: In the Trenches How many people can discuss Silverlight 5 'In the Trenches' ... apparently Mike Wolf can, and that's just what he's done in the post to whet your whistle (do people say that any more?) for when we can all get our hands on the bits. Visiblox, Visifire, DynamicDataDisplay – Charting Performance Comparison Colin Eberhardt responds to reader requests, and revisits his Charting Performance after also some discussion with David Anson about the Silverlight Toolkit. This time including Dynamic Data Display which is quite impressive in the ratings... check out the post and the code. Win7 Mobile Back Arrow Key Interception The simple fact is heavy bloggers rise, like Cream, to the top of my list, and I've been missing some goodness from Mike Snow... he's blogging WP7 stuff now... first up of the 'missed' ones is this one on intercepting the Back Arrow Key. Animating the Color of an Object Switching back to Silverlight in general, Mike Snow's next post is on Animating color of an object, such as text foreground. Tombstoning on the Win7 Mobile Platform And now back to WP7, Mike Snow is discussing Tombstoning... discussing the various aspects of it, and some code to use, if you haven't gotten your head around this one yet. What I tell Designers to give me... Integrating and Digital Zen David Kelley has a post up describing what he needs from designers to get his job done... I heard him discussing this at the Firestarter, and didn't realize he had written it up... these 8 items are things learned by doing, and should be discussed with your designers. Making the MS Adcontrol REALLY work on phone 7 David Kelley also has a post up discussing how to really get the Ad control working on WP7 apps... since I've seen lots of posts about this, having a definitive explanation from someone that's doing it is a good thing. Performance Optimization on Phone 7 In a break from his norm of discussing UX, David Kelley is talking about performance on WP7 devices in this post. Windows Phone From Scratch #10 – Visual State Part 2 When I saw Jesse Liberty's latest post, I realized I had missed his Part 2 of VSM for WP7 ... don't you miss it... this completes the good stuff from number 9 :) Windows Phone From Scratch #11 – Behaviors Jesse Liberty's latest Windows Phone from Scratch is up... and he's talking about Behaviors this time out... more of an overview or introduction to behaviors, but all good Show 112: Scott Guthrie on Silverlight 5 Erik Mork's latest Sparkling Client podcast is up and he was able to get some time with Scott Guthrie at the Firestarter. What I Learned in WP7 – Issue #1 Jeff Blankenburg decided to do another series, only this one isn't promised as every day... it's "What I Learned in WP7" ... and the first is up... good interesting bits found surrounding the WP7 device. The definitive guide to Notification Window in Silverlight 4 Laurent Duveau has a great post up that will have you doing Silverlight 'toast' notifications in no time... good descriptions and source. Lessons Learned in Personal Web Page Part 1: Dynamic XAML Jeremy Likness has rebuilt his personal website in Silverlight and is sharing some of that experience on his blog. This first post discusses the dynamic content. He used Jounce, of course, and included the Silverlight Navigation Framework, and... you can download all the source Lessons Learned in Personal Web Page Part 2: Enter the Matrix Jeremy Likness's second post about building his website is all about the 'Matrix' page ... pretty cool stuff... check it out... I think it looks great Stay in the 'Light! Twitter SilverlightNews | Twitter WynApse | WynApse.com | Tagged Posts | SilverlightCream Join me @ SilverlightCream | Phoenix Silverlight User Group Technorati Tags: Silverlight Silverlight 3 Silverlight 4 Windows Phone MIX10

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Apply Skins to Add Some Flair to Windows Media Player 12

- by DigitalGeekery

Tired of the same look and feel of Windows Media Player in Windows 7? We’ll show you how to inject new life into your media experience by applying skins in WMP 12. Adding Skins In Library view, click on View from the Menu and select Skin Chooser. By default, WMP 12 comes with only a couple of modest skins. When you select a skin from the left pane, a preview will be displayed to the right. To apply one of the skins, simply select it from the pane on the left and click Apply Skin. You can also switch to the currently selected skin in the Skin chooser by selecting Skin from the View menu, or by pressing Crtl + 2. Media Player will open in Now Playing mode. Click on the Switch to Library button at the top left to return to Library view. Ok, so the included skins are a little boring. You can find additional skins by selecting Tools > Download > Skins. Or, by clicking on More Skins from within the Skin chooser. You will be taken the the Microsoft website where you can choose from dozens of skins to download and install. Select a skin you’d like to try and click the link to download. If prompted with a warning message about files containing scripts that access your library, click Yes. Note: These warning boxes may look a bit different depending on your browser. We are using Chrome for this example. Click on View Now. Your new skin will be on display. To get back to the Library mode, find and click the Return to Full Mode button. Some skins may launch video in a separate window. If you want to delete one of the skins, select it from the list within the Skin chooser and click the red “X.” You can also press the delete key on your keyboard. Then click Yes to confirm. Conclusion Using skins is a quick and easy way to add some style to Windows Media Player and switching back and forth between skins is a breeze. Regardless of your interests, you are sure to find a skin that fits your tastes. You may find WMP skins on other sites, but sticking with Microsoft’s website will ensure maximum compatibility. Skins for Windows Media Player Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Make VLC Player Look like Windows Media Player 10Make VLC Player Look like Windows Media Player 11Make VLC Player Look like Winamp 5 (Kinda)Fixing When Windows Media Player Library Won’t Let You Add FilesInstall and Use the VLC Media Player on Ubuntu Linux TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips VMware Workstation 7 Acronis Online Backup DVDFab 6 Revo Uninstaller Pro Use Flixtime To Create Video Slideshows Creating a Password Reset Disk in Windows Bypass Waiting Time On Customer Service Calls With Lucyphone MELTUP – "The Beginning Of US Currency Crisis And Hyperinflation" Enable or Disable the Task Manager Using TaskMgrED Explorer++ is a Worthy Windows Explorer Alternative

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Windows Presentation Foundation 4.5 Cookbook Review

- by Ricardo Peres

As promised, here’s my review of Windows Presentation Foundation 4.5 Cookbook, that Packt Publishing kindly made available to me. It is an introductory book, targeted at WPF newcomers or users with few experience, following the typical recipes or cookbook style. Like all Packt Publishing books on development, each recipe comes with sample code that is self-sufficient for understanding the concepts it tries to illustrate. It starts on chapter 1 by introducing the most important concepts, the XAML language itself, what can be declared in XAML and how to do it, what are dependency and attached properties as well as markup extensions and events, which should give readers a most required introduction to how WPF works and how to do basic stuff. It moves on to resources on chapter 2, which also makes since, since it’s such an important concept in WPF. Next, chapter 3, come the panels used for laying controls on the screen, all of the out of the box panels are described with typical use cases. Controls come next in chapter 4; the difference between elements and controls is introduced, as well as content controls, headered controls and items controls, and all standard controls are introduced. The book shows how to change the way they look by using templates. The next chapter, 5, talks about top level windows and the WPF application object: how to access startup arguments, how to set the main window, using standard dialogs and there’s even a sample on how to have a irregularly-shaped window. This is one of the most important concepts in WPF: data binding, which is the theme for the following chapter, 6. All common scenarios are introduced, the binding modes, directions, triggers, etc. It talks about the INotifyPropertyChanged interface and how to use it for notifying data binding subscribers of changes in data sources. Data templates and selectors are also covered, as are value converters and data triggers. Examples include master-detail and sorting, grouping and filtering collections and binding trees and grids. Last it covers validation rules and error templates. Chapter 7 talks about the current trend in WPF development, the Model View View-Model (MVVM) framework. This is a well known pattern for connecting things interface to actions, and it is explained competently. A typical implementation is presented which also presents the command pattern used throughout WPF. A complete application using MVVM is presented from start to finish, including typical features such as undo. Style and layout is covered on chapter 8. Why/how to use styles, applying them automatically, using the many types of triggers to change styles automatically, using Expression Blend behaviors and templates are all covered. Next chapter, 9, is about graphics and animations programming. It explains how to create shapes, transform common UI elements, apply special effects and perform simple animations. The following chapter, 10, is about creating custom controls, either by deriving from UserControl or from an existing control or framework element class, applying custom templates for changing the way the control looks. One useful example is a custom layout panel that arranges its children along a circumference. The final chapter, 11, is about multi-threading programming and how one can integrate it with WPF. Includes how to invoke methods and properties on WPF classes from threads other than the main UI, using background tasks and timers and even using the new C# 5.0 asynchronous operations. It’s an interesting book, like I said, mostly for newcomers. It provides a competent introduction to WPF, with examples that cover the most common scenarios and also give directions to more complex ones. I recommend it to everyone wishing to learn WPF.

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Add Microsoft Core Fonts to Ubuntu

- by Matthew Guay

Have you ever needed the standard Microsoft fonts such as Times New Roman on your Ubuntu computer? Here’s how you can easily add the core Microsoft fonts to Ubuntu. Times New Roman, Arial, and other core Microsoft fonts are still some of the most commonly used fonts in documents and websites. Times New Roman especially is often required for college essays, legal docs, and other critical documents that you may need to write or edit. Ubuntu includes the Liberation alternate fonts that include similar alternates to Times New Roman, Arial, and Courier New, but these may not be accepted by professors and others when a certain font is required. But, don’t worry; it only takes a couple clicks to add these fonts to Ubuntu for free. Installing the Core Microsoft Fonts Microsoft has released their core fonts, including Times New Roman and Arial, for free, and you can easily download these from the Software Center. Open your Applications menu, and select Ubuntu Software Center. In the search box enter the following: ttf-mscorefonts Click Install on the “Installer for Microsoft TrueType core fonts” directly in the search results. Enter your password when requested, and click Authenticate. The fonts will then automatically download and install in a couple minutes depending on your internet connection speed. Once the install is finished, you can launch OpenOffice Writer to try out the new fonts. Here’s a preview of all the fonts included in this pack. And, yes, this does included the infamous Comic Sans and Webdings fonts as well as the all-important Times New Roman. Please Note: By default in Ubuntu, OpenOffice uses Liberation Serif as the default font, but after installing this font pack, the default font will switch to Times New Roman. Adding Other Fonts In addition to the Microsoft Core Fonts, the Ubuntu Software Center has hundreds of free fonts available. Click the Fonts link on the front page to explore these, and install the same as above. If you’ve downloaded another font individually, you can also install it easily in Ubuntu. Just double-click it, and then click Install in the preview window. Conclusion Although you may prefer the fonts that are included with Ubuntu, there are many reasons why having the Microsoft core fonts can be helpful. Thankfully it’s easy in Ubuntu to install them, so you’ll never have to worry about not having them when you need to edit an important document. Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Enable Smooth fonts on Ubuntu LinuxEmbed True Type Fonts in Word and PowerPoint 2007 DocumentsNew Vista Syntax for Opening Control Panel Items from the Command-lineStupid Geek Tricks: Enable More Fonts for the Windows Command PromptAdding extra Repositories on Ubuntu TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips DVDFab 6 Revo Uninstaller Pro Registry Mechanic 9 for Windows PC Tools Internet Security Suite 2010 Awe inspiring, inter-galactic theme (Win 7) Case Study – How to Optimize Popular Wordpress Sites Restore Hidden Updates in Windows 7 & Vista Iceland an Insurance Job? Find Downloads and Add-ins for Outlook Recycle !

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You Might Be a DBA

- by BuckWoody

With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today. buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!) databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O) DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room? jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA. jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator" markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends." markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster" MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA. mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible! Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671 onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs. ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :) SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice! SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food") sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice) sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind. sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43 SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait... thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;) TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets... venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow.. venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets... venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China." Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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JavaScript: this

- by bdukes

JavaScript is a language steeped in juxtaposition. It was made to “look like Java,” yet is dynamic and classless. From this origin, we get the new operator and the this keyword. You are probably used to this referring to the current instance of a class, so what could it mean in a language without classes? In JavaScript, this refers to the object off of which a function is referenced when it is invoked (unless it is invoked via call or apply). What this means is that this is not bound to your function, and can change depending on how your function is invoked. It also means that this changes when declaring a function inside another function (i.e. each function has its own this), such as when writing a callback. Let's see some of this in action: var obj = { count: 0, increment: function () { this.count += 1; }, logAfterTimeout = function () { setTimeout(function () { console.log(this.count); }, 1); } }; obj.increment(); console.log(obj.count); // 1 var increment = obj.increment; window.count = 'global count value: '; increment(); console.log(obj.count); // 1 console.log(window.count); // global count value: 1 var newObj = {count:50}; increment.call(newObj); console.log(newObj.count); // 51 obj.logAfterTimeout();// global count value: 1 obj.logAfterTimeout = function () { var proxiedFunction = $.proxy(function () { console.log(this.count); }, this); setTimeout(proxiedFunction, 1); }; obj.logAfterTimeout(); // 1 obj.logAfterTimeout = function () { var that = this; setTimeout(function () { console.log(that.count); }, 1); }; obj.logAfterTimeout(); // 1 The last couple of examples here demonstrate some methods for making sure you get the values you expect. The first time logAfterTimeout is redefined, we use jQuery.proxy to create a new function which has its this permanently set to the passed in value (in this case, the current this). The second time logAfterTimeout is redefined, we save the value of this in a variable (named that in this case, also often named self) and use the new variable in place of this. Now, all of this is to clarify what’s going on when you use this. However, it’s pretty easy to avoid using this altogether in your code (especially in the way I’ve demonstrated above). Instead of using this.count all over the place, it would have been much easier if I’d made count a variable instead of a property, and then I wouldn’t have to use this to refer to it. var obj = (function () { var count = 0; return { increment: function () { count += 1; }, logAfterTimeout = function () { setTimeout(function () { console.log(count); }, 1); }, getCount: function () { return count; } }; }()); If you’re writing your code in this way, the main place you’ll run into issues with this is when handling DOM events (where this is the element on which the event occurred). In that case, just be careful when using a callback within that event handler, that you’re not expecting this to still refer to the element (and use proxy or that/self if you need to refer to it). Finally, as demonstrated in the example, you can use call or apply on a function to set its this value. This isn’t often needed, but you may also want to know that you can use apply to pass in an array of arguments to a function (e.g. console.log.apply(console, [1, 2, 3, 4])).

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