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• Approaches for animating a C# property over time?

  - by Mario Fritsch

  I'm currently trying to animate a bunch of public properties on certain objects. Usually they are of type float or vectors of floats (the type is known at compile-time). I want to be able to: assign a static value to them (MyObject.Duration = 10f;) or assign a random value to them by specifying a minimum and maximum value and optionally also a weight (MyObject.Duration = new RandomFloat(5f, 20f, 2f);) or "bind" this property to the property of another object (think of a child object binding some of its properties to its parent object, like its color or size or sth.) or assign sort of a keyframe animation to them, specifying a variable number of keyframes with timecode and the property's value at that specific point in time as well as information about how to interpolate between these frames The keyframes should be able to accept random values for each frame, both for the time and the property's value. What would be a practical approach for this kind of system? Currently I'm thinking about polymorphism: implement a base class or interface with a public Value-property and/or GetValue(float time)-method and then creating different sub classes like StaticValue, RandomValue, BindingValue and AnimatedValue implementing this base class or interface. Doesn't seem very elegant, though, and the initialization of even simple objects becomes a bit tedious. Another idea would be to implement these properties just as regular floats or vectors and create special "Modifier"-types binding to these properties. To retrieve the "real" value of the property, I'd first call any Modifier bound to the property, which would in turn update the actual object's property for me to retrieve later on. That would most likely mean using reflection at some point, which could be quite bad for performance as I'll probably have thousands of properties to update dozens of times per second. Any suggestions on this? Being a novice I'm (hopefully) missing some far more elegant and/or practical solution than I'm already playing around with :( Edit: Probably should have mentioned this earlier, but WPF isn't an option - it's not available on all targetted platforms, so I can't rely on it. I'm aware of its powerful databinding and animation capabilities, but I need to roll my own (or find some other lightweight alternative meeting my needs).

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• How to stop input in Perl?

  - by user1472747

  First time poster and part time perl noobie. I'm making a reflex game. Here's the output - __________________________________________________________________________ Reflex game initiated. Press ENTER to begin the game, and then press ENTER after the asterisks are printed to measure your reflexes!. ************************* Your result: 0.285606 seconds. logout [Process completed] __________________________________________________________________________ There's one small problem though - There's 0-10 seconds (based on a random variable) after you press enter to start the game and before the stars are printed. During that time, if the player presses ENTER, it's logged as their reflex time. So I need a way to stop my code from reading their ENTER button before the stars are printed. The code - #!/usr/bin/perl use Time::HiRes qw(sleep); use Time::HiRes qw(gettimeofday); #random delay variable $random_number = rand(); print "Reflex game initiated. Press ENTER to begin the game, and then press ENTER after the asterisks are printed to measure your reflexes!.\n"; #begin button $begin = <>; #waits x milliseconds sleep(10*$random_number); #pre-game $start = [ Time::HiRes::gettimeofday() ]; print "\n****************************\n"; #user presses enter $stop = <>; #post game $elapsed = Time::HiRes::tv_interval($start); #delay time print print "Your result: ".$elapsed." seconds.\n";

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• Saving results to a file in C++

  - by user1680877

  I have a problem with this code. What I am looking for in the code is to get the result of "first" and "second" randomly and put the result in a file. It works great if I run it without using the file and I get all the correct results, but when I try to save the result in the file, I get only the first node which contains (first, secnd). Here is the code: #include<iostream> #include <fstream> #include<cmath> using namespace std; void main() { int first[100],secnd[100]; for (int i=0; i<100 ;i++) { first[i]=rand()%500; //random number from to 499 secnd[i]=rand()%500; //random number from to 499 ofstream myfile; myfile.open ("example.txt"); myfile << "Writing this to a file.\n"; myfile <<first[i]<<" "<<secnd[i]; myfile.close(); } }

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• Python for statement giving an Invalid Syntax error with list

  - by Cold Diamondz

  I have some code in which is throwing an error (I'm using repl.it) import random students = ['s1:0','s2:0','s3:0'] while True: print'\n'*50 print'Ticket Machine'.center(80) print'-'*80 print'1. Clear Student Ticket Values'.center(80) print'2. Draw Tickets'.center(80) menu = raw_input('-'*80+'\nChoose an Option: ') if menu == '1': print'\n'*50 print'CLEARED!' students = ['s1:0','s2:0','s3:0'] raw_input('Press enter to return to the main menu!') elif menu == '2': tickets = [] print'\n'*50 times = int(raw_input('How many tickets to draw? ') for a in students: for i in range(a.split(':')[1]): tickets.append(a.split(':')[0]) for b in range(1,times+1): print str(b) + '. ' + random.choice(tickets) else: print'\n'*50 print'That was not an option!' raw_input('Press enter to return to the main menu!') But it is throwing this error: File "<stdin>", line 19 for a in students: ^ SyntaxError: invalid syntax I am planning on using this in a class, but I can't use it until the bug is fixed, also, student names have been removed for privacy reasons.

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• novice needing help on shuffeling an array

  - by steffen Myklebust

  Please help a TOTAL beginner.! I found this post: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/56648/whats-the-best-way-to-shuffle-an-nsmutablearray And as i try to deploy this in my own code, I cant get it working... :-( Can anyone help me to resolve this code? To me it looks like the shuffle function is not called..? here is my code: // // shuffle2ViewController.h // shuffle2 #import @interface shuffle2ViewController : UIViewController { NSMutableArray *puzzles; int *randomSort; } - (void)shuffle; @end //============================= // shuffle2ViewController.m ´#import "shuffle2ViewController.h" @implementation shuffle2ViewController (void)viewDidLoad { [super viewDidLoad]; NSMutableArray *puzzles = [NSMutableArray arrayWithObjects:@"1",@"2",@"3", @"4",@"5",@"6",@"7",@"8",@"9", @"10",@"11",@"12", nil]; // Call the shuffle function [self shuffle]; // print to log int i; NSLog(@"NEW OLD"); NSLog(@"================="); for (i = 0; i < 12; ++i) NSLog(@" %2i %@", i + 1, [puzzles objectAtIndex:i]); } int randomSort(id obj1, id obj2, void *context ) { // returns random number -1 0 1 return (random()%3 - 1); } (void)shuffle { // call custom sort function [puzzles sortUsingFunction:randomSort context:nil]; } Giving this result: NEW OLD ================= 1 1 2 2 3 3 4 4 5 5 6 6 7 7 8 8 9 9 10 10 11 11 12 12

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• getting text that will be displayed to user from html

  - by gordatron

  Bit of a random one, i am wanting to have a play with some NLP stuff and I would like to: Get all the text that will be displayed to the user in a browser from HTML. My ideal output would not have any tags in it and would only have fullstops (and any other punctuation used) and new line characters, though i can tolerate a fairly reasonable amount of failure in this (random other stuff ending up in output). If there was a way of inserting a newline or full stop in situations where the content was likely not to continue on then that would be considered an added bonus. e.g: items in an ul or option tag could be separated by full stops (or to be honest just ignored). I am working Java, but would be interested in seeing any code that does this. I can (and will if required) come up with something to do this, just wondered if there was anything out there like this already, as it would probably be better than what I come up with in an afternoon ;-). An example of the code I might write if I do end up doing this would be to use a SAX parser to find content in p tags, strip it of any span or strong etc tags, and add a full stop if I hit a div or another p without having had a fullstop. Any pointers or suggestions very welcome.

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• Animate screen while loading textures

  - by Omega

  My RPG-like game has random battles. When the player enters a random battle, it is necessary for my game to load the textures used within that battle (animated monsters, animations, etc). The textures are quite a lot, and rather big (the battles are very graphical intensive). Such process consumes significant time. And while it is loading, the whole screen freezes. The game's map freezes, and the wait time is significant - I personally find it annoying. I can't afford to preload the textures because, after doing some math, I realized: If I preload all the textures at the beginning of the game, the application will definitely crash. If I preload the textures that are used in a specific map when the player enters the map, the application is very likely to crash as well. I can only afford to load the textures when I need them, and dispose of them as soon as the battle ends. I'd prefer to not use a "loading screen" image because it affects my game's design and concept. I want to avoid this approach. If I could do some kind of animation while loading the textures, it would be great, which leads to my question: is that possible? What kind of animation, you ask? Well, how about... you remember when Final Fantasy used to distort the screen while apparently loading the textures? Something like that. But well, distorting is quite a time-consuming process as well, so maybe just a cool frame-by-frame animation or something. While writing this, I realized that I could make small pauses between textures (there are multiple textures), and during such pauses, I update the screen to represent the animation's state. However, this is very unlikely to happen, because each texture is 2048x2048, so the animation would be refreshed at a rather laggy (and annoying) rate. I'd prefer to avoid this as well.

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• Scientific Data processing(Graph comparison and interpretation)

  - by pinkynobrain

  Hi stackoverflow friends, I'm trying to write a program to automate one of my more boring and repetative work tasks. I have some programming experience but none with processing or interpreting large volumes of data so i am seeking your advice(both suggestions of techneques to try and also things to read to learn more about doing this stuff). I have a piece of equipment that monitors an experiment by taking repeated samples and displays the readings on its screen as a graph. The input of experiment can be altered and one of these changes should produce a change in a section of the graph which i currently identify by eye and is what im looking for in the experiment. I want to automate it so that a computer looks at a set of results and spots the experiment input that causes the change. I can already extract the results from the machine. Currently they results for a run are in the form of an integer array with the index being the sample number and the corresponding value being the measurement. The overall shape of the graph will be similar for each experiment run. The change im looking for will be roughly the same and will occur in approximatly the same place every time for the correct experiment input. Unfortunatly there are a few gotcha's that make this problem more difficult. There is some noise in the measuring process which mean there is some random variation in the measured values between different runs. Although the overall shape of the graph remains the same. The time the experiment takes varies slightly each run causing two effects. First, the a whole graph may be shifted slightly on the x axis relative to another runs graph. Second, individual features may appear slightly wider or narrower in different runs. In both these cases the variation isn't particularly large and you can assume that the only non random variation is caused by the correct input being found. Thank you for your time, Pinky

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• Optimization of SQL query regarding pair comparisons

  - by InfiniteSquirrel

  Hi, I'm working on a pair comparison site where a user loads a list of films and grades from another site. My site then picks two random movies and matches them against each other, the user selects the better of the two and a new pair is loaded. This gives a complete list of movies ordered by whichever is best. The database contains three tables; fm_film_data - this contains all imported movies fm_film_data(id int(11), imdb_id varchar(10), tmdb_id varchar(10), title varchar(255), original_title varchar(255), year year(4), director text, description text, poster_url varchar(255)) fm_films - this contains all information related to a user, what movies the user has seen, what grades the user has given, as well as information about each film's wins/losses for that user. fm_films(id int(11), user_id int(11), film_id int(11), grade int(11), wins int(11), losses int(11)) fm_log - this contains records of every duel that has occurred. fm_log(id int(11), user_id int(11), winner int(11), loser int(11)) To pick a pair to show the user, I've created a mySQL query that checks the log and picks a pair at random. SELECT pair.id1, pair.id2 FROM (SELECT part1.id AS id1, part2.id AS id2 FROM fm_films AS part1, fm_films AS part2 WHERE part1.id <> part2.id AND part1.user_id = [!!USERID!!] AND part2.user_id = [!!USERID!!]) AS pair LEFT JOIN (SELECT winner AS id1, loser AS id2 FROM fm_log WHERE fm_log.user_id = [!!USERID!!] UNION SELECT loser AS id1, winner AS id2 FROM fm_log WHERE fm_log.user_id = [!!USERID!!]) AS log ON pair.id1 = log.id1 AND pair.id2 = log.id2 WHERE log.id1 IS NULL ORDER BY RAND() LIMIT 1 This query takes some time to load, about 6 seconds in our tests with two users with about 800 grades each. I'm looking for a way to optimize this but still limit all duels to appear only once. The server runs MySQL version 5.0.90-community.

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• Using boost::iterator_adaptor

  - by Neil G

  I wrote a sparse vector class (see #1, #2.) I would like to provide two kinds of iterators: The first set, the regular iterators, can point any element, whether set or unset. If they are read from, they return either the set value or value_type(), if they are written to, they create the element and return the lvalue reference. Thus, they are: Random Access Traversal Iterator and Readable and Writable Iterator The second set, the sparse iterators, iterate over only the set elements. Since they don't need to lazily create elements that are written to, they are: Random Access Traversal Iterator and Readable and Writable and Lvalue Iterator I also need const versions of both, which are not writable. I can fill in the blanks, but not sure how to use boost::iterator_adaptor to start out. Here's what I have so far: class iterator : public boost::iterator_adaptor< iterator // Derived , value_type* // Base , boost::use_default // Value , boost::?????? // CategoryOrTraversal > class sparse_iterator : public boost::iterator_adaptor< iterator // Derived , value_type* // Base , boost::use_default // Value , boost::random_access_traversal_tag? // CategoryOrTraversal >

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• Gearman client doBackground always returns GEARMAN_TIMEOUT

  - by Ascherer

  So, ive got a simple gearman system running right now, with a worker running. The worker basically just takes the payload (a random number in this case, and is supposed to echo it back to the screen. Literally an echo, not returning to the client. The client sends the random number. Im trying to do a $client->doBackground( 'post', 65482, md5(uniqid())); but its coming back with a 47 error (GEARMAN_TIMEOUT) every time. getErrNo() returns 0, error() returns something about GEARMAN_TIMEOUT However, when i change it to just $client->do(blah, blah, blah), it works just fine. I've even occasionally seen it where the worker still echo's the number, even after getting the timeout error... public function execute() { $method = 'do'; if( !$this->getBlock() ) { $method .= ( $this->getPriority() == 'Normal' ? '' : $this->getPriority() ) . 'Background'; } else { $method .= $this->getPriority(); } echo "Method: $method \t Worker: {$this->getName()} \t Payload: {$this->getPayload()} \t Hash: {$this->getHash()}\n"; $this->setResult( $this->getClient() ->$method( $this->getName(), $this->getPayload(), $this->getHash() ) ); if( $this->getClient()->returnCode() != GEARMAN_SUCCESS ) { echo "Code: " . $this->getClient()->returnCode() . "\t" . GEARMAN_TIMEOUT . "\n"; } }

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• Insertion sort invariant assertion fails

  - by user1661211

  In the following code at the end of the for loop I use the assert function in order to test that a[i+1] is greater than or equal to a[i] but I get the following error (after the code below). Also in c++ the assert with the following seems to work just fine but in python (the following code) it does not seem to work...anyone know why? import random class Sorting: #Precondition: An array a with values. #Postcondition: Array a[1...n] is sorted. def insertion_sort(self,a): #First loop invariant: Array a[1...i] is sorted. for j in range(1,len(a)): key = a[j] i = j-1 #Second loop invariant: a[i] is the greatest value from a[i...j-1] while i >= 0 and a[i] > key: a[i+1] = a[i] i = i-1 a[i+1] = key assert a[i+1] >= a[i] return a def random_array(self,size): b = [] for i in range(0,size): b.append(random.randint(0,1000)) return b sort = Sorting() print sort.insertion_sort(sort.random_array(10)) The Error: Traceback (most recent call last): File "C:\Users\Albaraa\Desktop\CS253\Programming 1\Insertion_Sort.py", line 27, in <module> print sort.insertion_sort(sort.random_array(10)) File "C:\Users\Albaraa\Desktop\CS253\Programming 1\Insertion_Sort.py", line 16, in insertion_sort assert a[i+1] >= a[i] AssertionError

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• cannot see values from list in c#

  - by PriceCheaperton

  I have the following code: But i cannot response write the values in the list for debugging purposes... public void LottoWinners(object sender, EventArgs e) { Dictionary<int, int> number = new Dictionary<int, int>(); Random generator = new Random(); while (number.Count < 6) { number[generator.Next(1, 49)] = 1; } int[] lotto = number.Keys.OrderBy(n => n).ToArray(); List<int> lst = lotto.OfType<int>().ToList(); StringBuilder builder = new StringBuilder(); for (int i = 0; i < lst.Count; i++) // Loop through List with for { builder.Append(lst).Append("|"); // Append string to StringBuilder } string result = builder.ToString(); // Get string from StringBuilder Response.Write(result); } But all i see is as my result. I should be seeing the values of my list! System.Collections.Generic.List`1

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• Criteria for triggering garbage collection in .Net

  - by Kennet Belenky

  I've come across some curious behavior with regard to garbage collection in .Net. The following program will throw an OutOfMemoryException very quickly (after less than a second on a 32-bit, 2GB machine). The Foo finalizer is never called. class Foo { static Dictionary<Guid, WeakReference> allFoos = new Dictionary<Guid, WeakReference>(); Guid guid = Guid.NewGuid(); byte[] buffer = new byte[1000000]; static Random rand = new Random(); public Foo() { // Uncomment the following line and the program will run forever. // rand.NextBytes(buffer); allFoos[guid] = new WeakReference(this); } ~Foo() { allFoos.Remove(guid); } static public void Main(string args[]) { for (; ; ) { new Foo(); } } } If the rand.nextBytes line is uncommented, it will run ad infinitum, and the Foo finalizer is regularly invoked. Why is that? My best guess is that in the former case, either the CLR or the Windows VMM is lazy about allocating physical memory. The buffer never gets written to, so the physical memory is never used. When the address space runs out, the system crashes. In the latter case, the system runs out of physical memory before it runs out of address space, the GC is triggered and the objects are collected. However, here's the part I don't get. Assuming my theory is correct, why doesn't the GC trigger when the address space runs low? If my theory is incorrect, then what's the real explanation?

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• Session scoped bean as class attribute of Spring MVC Controller

  - by Sotirios Delimanolis

  I have a User class: @Component @Scope("session") public class User { private String username; } And a Controller class: @Controller public class UserManager { @Autowired private User user; @ModelAttribute("user") private User createUser() { return user; } @RequestMapping(value = "/user") public String getUser(HttpServletRequest request) { Random r = new Random(); user.setUsername(new Double(r.nextDouble()).toString()); request.getSession().invalidate(); request.getSession(true); return "user"; } } I invalidate the session so that the next time i got to /users, I get another user. I'm expecting a different user because of user's session scope, but I get the same user. I checked in debug mode and it is the same object id in memory. My bean is declared as so: <bean id="user" class="org.synchronica.domain.User"> <aop:scoped-proxy/> </bean> I'm new to spring, so I'm obviously doing something wrong. I want one instance of User for each session. How?

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• question about permutation problem

  - by davit-datuashvili

  i have posted similar problem here http://stackoverflow.com/questions/2920315/permutation-of-array but i want following we know that with length n there is n! possible permutation from which one such that all element are in order they are in sorted variant so i want break permutation when array is in order and print result but something is wrong i think that problem is repeated of permutation here is my code import java.util.*; public class permut{ public static Random r=new Random(); public static void display(int a[],int n){ for (int i=0;i<n;i++){ System.out.println(a[i]); } } public static void Permut(int a[],int n){ int j=0; int k=0; while (j<fact(n)){ int s=r.nextInt(n); for (int i=0;i<n;i++){ k=a[i]; a[i]=a[s]; a[s]=k; } j++; if (sorted(a,n)) display(a,n); break; } } public static void main(String[]args){ int a[]=new int[]{3,4,1,2}; int n=a.length; Permut(a,n); } public static int fact(int n){ if (n==0 || (n==1) ) return 1; return n*fact(n-1); } public static boolean sorted(int a[],int n ){ boolean flag=false; for (int i=0;i<n-1;i++){ if (a[i]<a[i+1]){ flag=true; } else{ flag=false; } } return flag; } } can anybody help me? result is nothing

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• Matlab Coin Toss Simulation

  - by user1772959

  I have to write some code in Matlab that simulates tossing a coin 150 times. I have to count how many times the coin lands on heads and create a vector that gives a running percentage of the heads. Then I have to make a table of the number of trials, random 'flips", and the running percentages of heads. I assume random "flips" means heads or tails for that trial. I also have to create a line graph with trials on the x-axis and probabilities (percentages) on the y-axis. I'm assuming the percentages are just the percentage of getting heads. Sorry if this post was long. I figure giving the details now will make it easier to see what I was trying to do with the code. I didn't create the table or plot yet because I'm not even sure how to code for the actual problem. NUM_TRIALS = 150; trials = 1:NUM_TRIALS; heads = 0; t = rand(NUM_TRIALS,1); for i = trials if (t < 0.5) heads = heads + 1; end z = zeros(NUM_TRIALS,1); percent_h = heads/trials; end

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• Why can't we just use a hash of passphrase as the encryption key (and IV) with symmetric encryption algorithms?

  - by TX_

  Inspired by my previous question, now I have a very interesting idea: Do you really ever need to use Rfc2898DeriveBytes or similar classes to "securely derive" the encryption key and initialization vector from the passphrase string, or will just a simple hash of that string work equally well as a key/IV, when encrypting the data with symmetric algorithm (e.g. AES, DES, etc.)? I see tons of AES encryption code snippets, where Rfc2898DeriveBytes class is used to derive the encryption key and initialization vector (IV) from the password string. It is assumed that one should use a random salt and a shitload of iterations to derive secure enough key/IV for the encryption. While deriving bytes from password string using this method is quite useful in some scenarios, I think that's not applicable when encrypting data with symmetric algorithms! Here is why: using salt makes sense when there is a possibility to build precalculated rainbow tables, and when attacker gets his hands on hash he looks up the original password as a result. But... with symmetric data encryption, I think this is not required, as the hash of password string, or the encryption key, is never stored anywhere. So, if we just get the SHA1 hash of password, and use it as the encryption key/IV, isn't that going to be equally secure? What is the purpose of using Rfc2898DeriveBytes class to generate key/IV from password string (which is a very very performance-intensive operation), when we could just use a SHA1 (or any other) hash of that password? Hash would result in random bit distribution in a key (as opposed to using string bytes directly). And attacker would have to brute-force the whole range of key (e.g. if key length is 256bit he would have to try 2^256 combinations) anyway. So either I'm wrong in a dangerous way, or all those samples of AES encryption (including many upvoted answers here at SO), etc. that use Rfc2898DeriveBytes method to generate encryption key and IV are just wrong.

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• VB looping complication

  - by user1819469

  I have to come up with a program that shifts names in a text box a random amount of times. I have gotten everything up to the point where the names shifts a random amount of times. It only shifts its once, but my messagebox appears through the code as many times as the names should be shifting once i click ok. Does anyone know why the loop is not working for the name shifts. I was thinking maybe the messagebox needs to control the loop, but I have searched endlessly and cannot find how that would be done. Any suggestions or referrals to other sites would be nice thanks. My code is below. Public Class Form1 Private Sub Button1_Click(ByVal sender As System.Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles Button1.Click Dim RandomNumber As Integer Dim min, max As Integer Dim temp, temp2, temp3, temp4, temp5, temp6 As String Dim i As Integer min = 3 max = 11 Randomize() RandomNumber = Int((max - min + 1) * Rnd() + min) temp = n1.Text temp2 = n2.Text temp3 = n3.Text temp4 = n4.Text temp5 = n5.Text temp6 = n6.Text For i = 0 To RandomNumber - 1 n1.Text = temp6 n2.Text = temp n3.Text = temp2 n4.Text = temp3 n5.Text = temp4 n6.Text = temp5 MessageBox.Show("Shift " & i & " of " & RandomNumber & " complete") Next End Sub End Class

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• Do running times match with O(nlogn)?

  - by user472221

  Hi I have written a class(greedy strategy) that at first i used sort method which has O(nlogn) Collections.sort(array, new SortingObjectsWithProbabilityField()); and then i used the insert method of binary search tree which takes O(h) and h here is the tree height. for different n ,the running time will be : n,running time 17,515428 33,783340 65,540572 129,1285080 257,2052216 513,4299709 which I think is not correct because for increasing n , the running time should almost increase. This method will take the running time: Exponent = -1; for(int n = 2;n<1000;n+=Math.pow(2,exponent){ for (int j = 1; j <= 3; j++) { Random rand = new Random(); for (int i = 0; i < n; i++) { Element e = new Element(rand.nextInt(100) + 1, rand.nextInt(100) + 1, 0); for (int k = 0; k < i; k++) { if (e.getDigit() == randList.get(k).getDigit()) { e.setDigit(e.getDigit() + 1); } } randList.add(e); } double sum = 0.0; for (int i = 0; i < randList.size(); i++) { sum += randList.get(i).getProbability(); } for (Element i : randList) { i.setProbability(i.getProbability() / sum); } //Get time. long t2 = System.nanoTime(); GreedyVersion greedy = new GreedyVersion((ArrayList<Element>) randList); long t3 = System.nanoTime(); timeForGreedy = timeForGreedy + t3 - t2; } System.out.println(n + "," + "," + timeForGreedy/3 ); exponent++; } thanks

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• Scientific Data processing (Graph comparison and interpretation)

  - by pinkynobrain

  Hi stackoverflow friends, I'm trying to write a program to automate one of my more boring and repetitive work tasks. I have some programming experience but none with processing or interpreting large volumes of data so I am seeking your advice (both suggestions of techniques to try and also things to read to learn more about doing this stuff). I have a piece of equipment that monitors an experiment by taking repeated samples and displays the readings on its screen as a graph. The input of experiment can be altered and one of these changes should produce a change in a section of the graph which I currently identify by eye and is what I'm looking for in the experiment. I want to automate it so that a computer looks at a set of results and spots the experiment input that causes the change. I can already extract the results from the machine. Currently they results for a run are in the form of an integer array with the index being the sample number and the corresponding value being the measurement. The overall shape of the graph will be similar for each experiment run. The change I'm looking for will be roughly the same and will occur in approximately the same place every time for the correct experiment input. Unfortunately there are a few gotchas that make this problem more difficult. There is some noise in the measuring process which mean there is some random variation in the measured values between different runs. Although the overall shape of the graph remains the same. The time the experiment takes varies slightly each run causing two effects. First, the a whole graph may be shifted slightly on the x axis relative to another run's graph. Second, individual features may appear slightly wider or narrower in different runs. In both these cases the variation isn't particularly large and you can assume that the only non random variation is caused by the correct input being found. Thank you for your time, Pinky

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• Stop functions in 5 minutes if they dont end running

  - by george mano

  I want to add a feature in my project. I have 2 functions running in a for-loop because I want to find the solution of the functions in random arrays. I also have an function that makes random arrays. In each loop the array that is made by the random_array fun are the input of the 2 functions. The 2 functions print solutions in the screen , they dont return an argument. int main(){ for (i=0;i<50 i++) { arr1=ramdom_array(); func1(arr1) func2(arr1) } } I need to stop the functions running if they have not ended in 5 minutes. I have thought that I have to put in the functions something like this : void func1(array<array<int,4>,4> initial) { while (5minutes_not_passed) { //do staff if(solution==true) break; } } But I dont know what to put in the 5minutes_not_passed. the declaration of the functions are like this: void func1(array<array<int,4>,4> initial) void func2(array<array<int,4>,4> initial) I have found that I can use the thread library but I dont think meshing up with threads in a good idea. I believe something like a timer is needed. Note that the functions sometimes might end before 5 minutes.

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• How to ensure I get the picture is complete? (in java)

  - by Zenofo

  i using below code to get a picture from URL: URL url=new URL("http://www.google.com/images/logos/ps_logo2.png"); InputStream in=url.openStream(); ByteArrayOutputStream tmpOut = new ByteArrayOutputStream(); byte[] buf = new byte[512]; int len; while (true) { len = in.read(buf); if (len == -1) { break; } tmpOut.write(buf, 0, len); } tmpOut.close(); byte[] picture=tmpOut.toByteArray(); System.out.println(picture.length); this code is okay,but my internet connect is very very bad, so ,I maybe get a broken picture like this: How can I ensure the picture file is complete ? I think you can add this code to try and test this: if (len == -1) { change to if (len == -1 || (int)(Math.random()*100)==1 ) { full test code: URL url=new URL("http://www.google.com/images/logos/ps_logo2.png"); InputStream in=url.openStream(); ByteArrayOutputStream tmpOut = new ByteArrayOutputStream(); byte[] buf = new byte[512]; int len; while (true) { len = in.read(buf); if (len == -1 || (int)(Math.random()*100)==1 ) { break; } tmpOut.write(buf, 0, len); } tmpOut.close(); byte[] picture =tmpOut.toByteArray(); System.out.println(picture.length); thanks for help :)

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• select k th mimimum from array a[0..n-1]

  - by davit-datuashvili

  i have done folloing code from progrmming pearls here is code import java.util.*; public class select { public static int select1(int x[],int l,int u,int k){ //pre l<=k<=u //post x[l..k-1]<=x[k]<=x[k+1..u] Random r=new Random(); int t=r.nextInt(u-1-l)+l; if (l>=u) return -1 ; swap(l,t); int s=x[l]; int i=l; int j=u+1; while (true){ do { i++; }while (i<=u && x[i]<t); do { j--; }while (x[j]>t); if (i>j) break; int temp=x[i]; x[i]=x[j];x[j]=t; swap(l,j); if (j<k){ return select1(x,j+1,u,k); } } return select1(x,l,j-1,k); } public static void main(String[] args) { int x[]=new int[]{4,7,9,3,2,12,13,10,20}; select1(x,0,x.length-1,5); } public static void swap(int i,int j){ int c=i; i=j; j=c; } } but here is mistake Exception in thread "main" java.lang.ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException: -1 at select.select1(select.java:21) at select.main(select.java:36) Java Result: 1 please help

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• You Might Be a DBA

  - by BuckWoody

  With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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