Worst technobabble you've ever heard

Posted by pookleblinky on Stack Overflow See other posts from Stack Overflow or by pookleblinky
Published on 2008-10-06T18:21:58Z Indexed on 2010/05/03 14:38 UTC
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Following the Egregious pop culture perversion of programming, what is the most outlandishly insane technobabble you have ever heard, either in fiction or real life?

Extra points to those unfortunates whose real life stories beat Hollywood.

Note: feel free to sketch out what would be necessary for such gibberish to actually work.

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