Hi all,

Hope you can help me solve somewhat of a moral dilemma. Some time ago, after just a few years of living in U.S. and having to take any job I could get my hands on a friend of mine submitted recommended me for an open position at the company that he was working for. I could have not been happier. I do not have a degree of any sort, however, by being passionate about CS and with constant drive for self education I've became a somewhat of a strong generalist. Every place I worked for recognized me for that quality and used me on various projects where set of technology in hand had no overlap with set of knowledge of the team members.

Rapidly I've advanced to Sr. Programmer position and the trend of me following a friend from one place to another have started and continued on for a few years. My friend's goal always been to become an IT Director, mine is to become the best programmer I can be. To my knowledge I've accommodated his goals as much as I could by taking a back seat, and letting him take the lead. Fast forward to today. He's a manager, and I am on his team. I am unhappy and I in considerable amount of suffering. I am not being utilized to my potential, it's almost exact opposite, I am being micromanaged to an unhealthy extent, my decisions, and suggestions are constantly met with negative connotation. Last week I had to hear about how my friend is a better programmer than I am. My ego was ecstatic about this one /s. In addition to that working in the field of BI have exhausted itself for most parts. The only pleasure of my work is being derived from making everything as dynamic and parameter driven as possible. This is the only area where a friend of mine does not feel competent enough to actually micromanage.

Because of my situation I feel a fair amount of guilt and ever growing resentment. I need your advice, maybe you've dealt with this expression of ego before, needs of self vs the needs of your friend. Is working with a friend a poor choice?

Thank you for reading in.