I've spent what seems like weeks attempting to set up remote access for SQL Server 2008. Up to recently my database access was alway against a local instance but I now have two servers and I want to work from my local machine using databases on my remote server. I finally got it working. If you need to know how I've done a big page at:

http://videotutors.net/SQLServer2008RemoteAccess.aspx

Check it out and let me know if you have any suggestions or questions.