I like to implement a collection (something like List<T>) which would hold all my objects that I have created in the entire life span of my application as if its an array of pointers in C++. The idea is that when my process starts I can use a central factory to create all objects and then periodically validate/invalidate their state. Basically I want to make sure that my process only deals with valid instances and I don't re-fetch information I already fetched from the database. So all my objects will basically be in one place - my collection. A cool thing I can do with this is avoid database calls to get data from the database if I already got it (even if I updated it after retrieval its still up-to-date if of course some other process didn't update it but that a different concern). I don't want to be calling new Customer("James Thomas"); again if I initted James Thomas already sometime in the past. Currently I will end up with multiple copies of the same object across the appdomain - some out of sync other in sync and even though I deal with this using timestamp field on the MSSQL server I'd like to keep only one copy per customer in my appdomain (if possible process would be better).

I can't use regular collections like List or ArrayList for example because I cannot pass parameters by their real local reference to the their existing Add() methods where I'm creating them using ref so that's not to good I think. So how can this be implemented/can it be implemented at all ? A 'linked list' type of class with all methods working with ref & out params is what I'm thinking now but it may get ugly pretty quickly. Is there another way to implement such collection like RefList<T>.Add(ref T obj)?

So bottom line is: I don't want re-create an object if I've already created it before during the entire application life unless I decide to re-create it explicitly (maybe its out-of-date or something so I have to fetch it again from the db). Is there alternatives maybe ?