I'm currently debugging performance issues with my VPS and for that I'm trying to understand which of the processes eat the most memory. Reading top, here's what I get:

Mem:    366544k total,   321396k used,    45148k free,      380k buffers
Swap:  1048572k total,   592388k used,   456184k free,     7756k cached

  PID USER      PR  NI  VIRT  RES  SHR S %CPU %MEM    TIME+  COMMAND                                                                                  
12339 ruby      20   0  844m  74m 2440 S    0 20.8   0:24.84 ruby                                                                                     
12363 ruby      20   0  844m  73m 1576 S    0 20.6   0:00.26 ruby                                                                                     
21117 ruby      20   0  171m  33m 1792 S    0  9.3   2:03.98 ruby                                                                                     
11846 ruby      20   0  858m  21m 1820 S    0  6.0   0:09.15 ruby                                                                                     
21277 ruby      20   0  219m  11m 1648 S    0  3.2   2:00.98 ruby                                                                                     
  792 root      20   0  266m  10m 1024 S    0  3.0   1:40.06 ruby                                                                                     
  532 mysql     20   0  234m 4760 1040 S    0  1.3   0:41.58 mysqld                                                                                   
  793 root      20   0  250m 4616  984 S    0  1.3   1:20.55 ruby                                                                                     
  586 root      20   0  156m 4532  848 S    0  1.2   6:17.10 god                                                                                      
12315 ruby      20   0  175m 2412 1900 S    0  0.7   0:07.55 ruby                                                                                     
 3844 root      20   0 44036 2132 1028 S    0  0.6   1:08.22 ruby                                                                                     
10939 ruby      20   0  179m 1884 1724 S    0  0.5   0:08.33 ruby                                                                                     
 4660 ruby      20   0  229m 1592 1440 S    0  0.4   2:55.46 ruby                                                                                     
 3879 nobody    20   0 37428  964  520 S    0  0.3   0:01.99 nginx 

As you can see my memory is about 90% used (which is my issue) but when you add up the %MEM values, it goes to about 50-60% only. Same thing, RES doesn't add up to ~350mb. Why? Am I misunderstanding their meaning?

Thanks