It's like this mythical thing that a dominating portion of developers say is just the best option for back-end development, a part of development about which I know virtually nothing beyond the absolute basics.

So I've looked up PHP tutorials a bunch of times, trying to figure out why it's so powerful and common, but it's annoying as hell-- all the tutorials treat you like a new programmer. You know, this is how you make an If Else statement, here's a for loop, etc. The "Advanced Topics" show you how to make POST and GET statements and whatnot.

But there must be more to it! I don't get it! That's practically no different from JavaScript. What am I missing about this language? What else can it do? Where's the power and versatility? I've heard it called a function soup; where are all the functions?

Please chide me. I'm clearly missing something.