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  • Fresh start outside Google's crapbox [on hold]

    - by Krzysztof Minister Bytu
    I might have been experimenting with my website too much and Google first cut the flow of visitors considerably and now I didn't get one for 4 days already. It's a joke that they've done this, because I've put a lot of work into it, but that's a topic for another day. My question is about further avoiding it. I want to take the partly improved design from that website onto a new one and get a new domain name. The question is: in that case, do I have to change the hosting option (it has my old website name in the address), or is changing the domain enough for Google to treat it as something new from a "fresh user". In other words, does Google get through the domain address and log into the actual hosting address? I'd hate to waste another few months of hard work, so I prefer to take every possible precaution but not paying for another hosting would make things easier on the wallet.

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  • Environmental Variable for current domain

    - by Krzysztof Goszka
    I'm using Ubuntu 12.04 LTS Desktop edition I want to use environmental variable for currently joined domain just like i use $USER to bring current user. From what i read there are few variables for that but none seem to work for me. I also cannot see those variables as active when i type env command. I would appreciate a solution on how to enable that variable or how to make my own variable by pulling current domain name from the system somehow.

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  • NetBeans has broken interface with OpenJDK

    - by Krzysztof Stanislawek
    Sorry for English. Usually (say, at 4/5 of times), when I start NetBeans, interface is partially broken. For example, menu items are appearing and at once disappearing after click; some parts of editor are also blocked for cursor actions. Another issue is broken Options window - I can show it only once for NetBeans execution. There are more similar issues. $ java -version java version "1.7.0_55" OpenJDK Runtime Environment (IcedTea 2.4.7) (7u55-2.4.7-1ubuntu1~0.13.10.1) OpenJDK 64-Bit Server VM (build 24.51-b03, mixed mode) Version of NetBeans is 7.0.1. Linux version is Mint 16. I use Mate. I had the same issue at other computer, at the same operating system. I know that installing Sun version of Java could help, but I also know that there shouldn't be such issue with OpenJDK. Also, I had other problem with NetBeans and Sun Java 8 - NetBeans suddenly crashed before he fully started, so I want to stick with OpenJDK. What causes my problem? Should I use other version of NetBeans/OpenJDK?

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  • Order of executions in C++ streams

    - by Krzysztof Bzowski
    It is obvious that first cout prints 7 7 but why the second one prints 8 8 7 ? Why not 7 8 8? How does such constructions work in c++? int ink(int *x){ *x += 1; return *x; } int main(){ int *a; int b = 6; a = &b; cout << ++b << " " << b << endl; cout << b << " " << ink(a) << " " << b; return 0; }

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  • Failures when copying between two external drives on the same controller

    - by Krzysztof Kosinski
    I'm encountering a weird problem which is present both on Ubuntu 9.10 and 10.04, on two different machines. When trying to copy between two external drives connected to the same USB controller, the transfer will randomly hang at some random time (after copying 300MB, 1GB, 10GB - it doesn't appear to depend on the dataset being copied). The hang appears to happen faster in 10.04. It appears to happen slower if both drives are connected to a hub. If the drives are connected to 2 distinct physical ports on the machine, the hang will be very fast. Hangs cannot be reproduced if: Data is copied from the first external drive to an internal drive, then to the second external drive Drives are connected to different USB controllers, for example the first one is connected to the built-in controller and the second one via an external PCMCIA controller. lspci says the first machine has an Intel ICH9 USB controller, the second an Intel ICH4. Is this a hardware problem, a kernel problem or a software issue? I used Nautilus when copying the files.

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  • nginx 2 symfony2 web application, one ip no domain

    - by Krzysztof Koch
    I have irritating with nginx. I set up in /usr/share/nginx/www/firstapp one application and in /usr/share/nginx/www/secondapp. in my default conf i setup that in / root localization i want first app: when write 9.9.9.9 in browser show me first app, and when i write 9.9.9.9/makeup, there not show me seccond app. Why first app displays me good, and seccondapp cannot? Please help me. Sorry for quality here pasterbin code: enter link description here server { listen 80; server_name localhost; root /usr/share/nginx/www/firstapp/web; access_log /var/log/nginx/$host.access.log; error_log /var/log/nginx/error.log error; # strip app.php/ prefix if it is present rewrite ^/app\.php/?(.*)$ /$1 permanent; location / { root /usr/share/nginx/www/firstapp/web/; index app.php; try_files $uri @rewriteapp; } location /makeup/ { alias /usr/share/nginx/www/seccondapp/web/; index app.php; try_files $uri @rewriteapp; } location @rewriteapp { rewrite ^(.*)$ /app.php/$1 last; } # pass the PHP scripts to FastCGI server listening on 127.0.0.1:9000 location ~ ^/(app|app_dev)\.php(/|$) { #fastcgi_pass 127.0.0.1:9000; fastcgi_pass unix:/var/lib/php5-fpm/www.sock; fastcgi_split_path_info ^(.+\.php)(/.*)$; include fastcgi_params; fastcgi_param SCRIPT_FILENAME $document_root$fastcgi_script_name; fastcgi_param HTTPS off; #fastcgi_param SERVER_PORT 80; }

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  • JavaScript multithreading

    - by Krzysztof Hasinski
    I'm working on comparison for several different methods of implementing (real or fake) multithreading in JavaScript. As far as I know only webworkers and Google Gears WorkerPool can give you real threads (ie. spread across multiple processors with real parallel execution). I've found the following methods: switch between tasks using yield() use setInterval() (or other non-blocking function) with threads waiting one for another use Google Gears WorkerPool threads (with plugin) use html5 web workers I read related questions and found several variations of the above methods, but most of those questions are old, so there might be a few new ideas. I'm wondering - how else can you achieve multithreading in JavaScript? Any other important methods? UPDATE: As pointed out in comments what I really meant was concurrency. UPDATE 2: I found information that Silverlight + JScript supports multithreading, but I'm unable to verify this. UPDATE 3: Google deprecated Gears: http://code.google.com/apis/gears/api_workerpool.html

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  • How to GetGuiResources for all system processes?

    - by Krzysztof
    Hello, I need to measure all used GDI objects in a Windows xp system. I found a GetGuiResources(__in HANDLE hProcess, __in DWORD uiFlags) method (with the GR_GDIOBJECTS flag). I call it for the process which I get from the method GetCurrentProcess() defined in WinBase.h. I don't know how to call it for other system processes, which I get by System::Diagnostics::Process::GetProcesses(), because that function returns an array of Process pointers, and GetGuiResources takes a HANDLE. Does anybody know a solution for that? How can I transform Process pointer to a Handle or get HANDLEs for all running system processes? thanks for help in advance!

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  • How to map non-REST URLS to REST ones?

    - by Krzysztof Luks
    I have a small rails app that has default scaffold generated routes eg. /stadia/1.xml. However I have to support legacy client app that can't construct such URLs correctly. What I need to do is to map URL in the form: /stadia?id=1?format=xml to /stadia/1.xml Or even something like: /myApp?model=<model_name>?id=<id>?format=xml to /<model_name/<id>.xml Is it possible to craft appropriate route in Rails?

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  • Open Source Gets Political

    <b>Linux User and Developer:</b> "In response to a petition, the Prime Minister has dropped Mandelson&#8217;s plans for a controversial &#8216;three strikes&#8217; rule forcing ISPs to permanently disconnect those repeatedly accused of illegal file sharing by copyright holders."

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  • ProPresenter and PowerPoint

    - by EAMann
    My church uses ProPresenter for our Sunday morning presntations. Unfortunately, I get the ProPresenter decks from the minister and worship leader midway through the week and have no way to read them at home on my PC. It would be easier if I could set things up and edit them (or at least have an idea of what's in the deck) before Sunday morning. I know ProPresenter can import from PowerPoint, but can the import go the other way as well? Is there a way to read ProPresenter files (.prox) without ProPresenter?

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  • Using Castle DynamicProxy is it possible to change the invocation target on class proxy?

    - by Gareth D
    Hi Using Castle DynamicProxy v2, I'd like to change the target of an invocation for a class proxy. The new target is simply a different instance of the same type as the original target. The target types do not implement a common interface so I cannot use the IProxyTargetAccessor as detailed in Krzysztof's post on the subject - I cannot cast from a class proxy invocator to a IProxyTargetAccessor. Is there a way to do this?

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  • Reminder: True WCF Asynchronous Operation

    - by Sean Feldman
    A true asynchronous service operation is not the one that returns void, but the one that is marked as IsOneWay=true using BeginX/EndX asynchronous operations (thanks Krzysztof). To support this sort of fire-and-forget invocation, Windows Communication Foundation offers one-way operations. After the client issues the call, Windows Communication Foundation generates a request message, but no correlated reply message will ever return to the client. As a result, one-way operations can't return values, and any exception thrown on the service side will not make its way to the client. One-way calls do not equate to asynchronous calls. When one-way calls reach the service, they may not be dispatched all at once and may be queued up on the service side to be dispatched one at a time, all according to the service configured concurrency mode behavior and session mode. How many messages (whether one-way or request-reply) the service is willing to queue up is a product of the configured channel and the reliability mode. If the number of queued messages has exceeded the queue's capacity, then the client will block, even when issuing a one-way call. However, once the call is queued, the client is unblocked and can continue executing while the service processes the operation in the background. This usually gives the appearance of asynchronous calls.

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  • David Cameron addresses - The Oracle Retail Week Awards 2012

    - by user801960
    The Oracle Retail Week Awards 2012 were last night. In case you missed the action the introduction video for the Oracle Retail Week Awards 2012 is below, featuring interviews with UK Prime Minister David Cameron, Acting Editor of Retail Week George MacDonald, the judges for the awards and key figureheads in British retail. Check back on the blog in the next couple of days for more videos, interviews and insights from the awards. Oracle Retail and "Your Experience Platform" Technology is the key to providing that differentiated retail experience. More specifically, it is what we at Oracle call ‘the experience platform’ - a set of integrated, cross-channel business technology solutions, selected and operated by a retail business and IT team, and deployed in accordance with that organisation’s individual strategy and processes. This business systems architecture simultaneously: Connects customer interactions across all channels and touchpoints, and every customer lifecycle phase to provide a differentiated customer experience that meets consumers’ needs and expectations. Delivers actionable insight that enables smarter decisions in planning, forecasting, merchandising, supply chain management, marketing, etc; Optimises operations to align every aspect of the retail business to gain efficiencies and economies, to align KPIs to eliminate strategic conflicts, and at the same time be working in support of customer priorities.   Working in unison, these three goals not only help retailers to successfully navigate the challenges of today (identified in the previous session on this stage) but also to focus on delivering that personalised customer experience based on differentiated products, pricing, services and interactions that will help you to gain market share and grow sales.

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  • Mobility Card in Bangalore for Transportation

    - by Rekha
    Transport Minister R Ashoka announced Bangalore Metropolitan Transport Corporation (BMTC) services are going to be best in the world soon. BMTC has planned to launch a Mobility Card with which commuters can get rides in BMTC, KSRTC and future Metro Train facilities without buying tickets for each ride. The conductor with have a simple device in which the commuters can swipe their cards to deduct the ticket tarrif for bus or metro rides automatically. This Mobility card can be obtained by paying a fixed amount. This method is time saving and the commuters can be saved from paying the exact change for tickets. Ashoka says the Volvo Vayu Vaira services have internet connectivity and voice announcements of every bus stop names and this has been appreciated by the commuters. With WiFi Connections in Shatabdi Trains soon and Mobility Cards, India is soon to match the services of US Standards. Government officials are keen in implementing these services before the end of this year. Hope all these services are well used and maintained.   This article titled,Mobility Card in Bangalore for Transportation, was originally published at Tech Dreams. Grab our rss feed or fan us on Facebook to get updates from us.

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  • Linux CentOS strange memory readings

    - by user2008937
    I am actually a young junior sys admin. I have a question - i am trying to understand how linux deals with memory... while playing around different monitoring programs I found some strange thing. When I run top on my laptop it shows me that FIREFOX process with pid 8778 takes 18,3% of memory (%MEM column). grep "MemTotal" /proc/meminfo Above command give me 1848336kb/1024 = 1805megs of memory (its ok - i have 2 gigs of ram). So if the firefox process takes 18,3% of MEM(according to tops %MEM column) then it takes 0.183 * 1805 which is approximately 325mb of memory. Quite a lot as for firefox... But well, in Linux there are lots of shared libraries that programs commonly uses (like famous libc). And those libraries are added to memory utilization of every process that uses it in the system, despite they are actually reading same file(single object in memory). So top may show too big mem utilization because of those shared libraries. Well, it is time to use PMAP which should show us the real mem utilization of process. But.. pmap -d $(pidof firefox) mapped: 983460K writeable/private: 757164K shared: 66416K so pmap shows that 983460/1024=993MB of memory is mapped to this process. It is in fact much bigger than mem utilization showed by top. Whats wrong here? How pmap can show more than top? even when top adds also the shared libraries (which in fact are single objects in memory) for each process that uses it? and pmap omits it? Regards Krzysztof

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  • Renault under threat from industrial espionage, intellectual property the target

    - by Simon Thorpe
    Last year we saw news of both General Motors and Ford losing a significant amount of valuable information to competitors overseas. Within weeks of the turn of 2011 we see the European car manufacturer, Renault, also suffering. In a recent news report, French Industry Minister Eric Besson warned the country was facing "economic war" and referenced a serious case of espionage which concerns information pertaining to the development of electric cars. Renault senior vice president Christian Husson told the AFP news agency that the people concerned were in a "particularly strategic position" in the company. An investigation had uncovered a "body of evidence which shows that the actions of these three colleagues were contrary to the ethics of Renault and knowingly and deliberately placed at risk the company's assets", Mr Husson said. A source told Reuters on Wednesday the company is worried its flagship electric vehicle program, in which Renault with its partner Nissan is investing 4 billion euros ($5.3 billion), might be threatened. This casts a shadow over the estimated losses of Ford ($50 million) and General Motors ($40 million). One executive in the corporate intelligence-gathering industry, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said: "It's really difficult to say it's a case of corporate espionage ... It can be carelessness." He cited a hypothetical example of an enthusiastic employee giving away too much information about his job on an online forum. While information has always been passed and leaked, inadvertently or on purpose, the rise of the Internet and social media means corporate spies or careless employees are now more likely to be found out, he added. We are seeing more and more examples of where companies like these need to invest in technologies such as Oracle IRM to ensure such important information can be kept under control. It isn't just the recent release of information into the public domain via the Wikileaks website that is of concern, but also the increasing threats of industrial espionage in cases such as these. Information rights management doesn't totally remove the threat, but abilities to control documents no matter where they exist certainly increases the capabilities significantly. Every single time someone opens a sealed document the IRM system audits the activity. This makes identifying a potential source for a leak much easier when you have an absolute record of every person who's had access to the documents. Oracle IRM can also help with accidental or careless loss. Often people use very sensitive information all the time and forget the importance of handling it correctly. With the ability to protect the information from screen shots and prevent people copy and pasting document information into social networks and other, unsecured documents, Oracle IRM brings a totally new level of information security that would have a significant impact on reducing the risk these organizations face of losing their most valuable information.

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  • How To Watch Indian Union Budget 2011-2012 Live On Your PC

    - by Gopinath
    The Union Budget of India 2011-2012 will be tabled on Lok Sabha on 26th Feb, 2011. The finance minister, Mr. Pranab Muhkerjee will present the budget in the house and it will be broadcasted live on the TV channels(DD, NDTV, IBN Live and others) as well as on the web. For those who are willing to watch the budget session live on computers here is the required information. National Informatics Centre – Budget 2011 Live Web Cast Indian Government official stream of Union Budget 2011-2011 is available  at  http://budgetlive.nic.in/. This live stream will provide the budget information as is, without any masala, hype or so called analysis by experts sitting in private TV channel studios (and talking rubbish!) To view the primary live stream you need to install Windows Media Player plugin on your browser. As it’s a government website, better you use Internet Explorer browser to watch it. It may not work on Firefox or Chrome. Also the live stream is provided in other formats like Real Media and Flash. Here are the various streaming formats for you to choose Flash Player – High Bandwidth Stream Windows Media Player – Low Bandwidth Stream (IE browser is preferred) Windows Media Player – High Bandwidth Stream  (IE browser is preferred) Real Media Player – Low Bandwidth Stream Real Media Player – High Bandwidth Stream Indian Media Channels Covering Live Of Union Budget 2011 – 2012 Most of the news media channels live stream are available for free on the web, here are the few new channels you can watch live to follow Union Budget 2011 – 2012. NDTV 24 x 7 News Live Stream (English) NDTV India Live Streaming (Hindi) CNBC TV 18 Live Streaming (English) CNN IBN Live Streaming (English) IBN 7 Live Streaming (Hindi) Caution: In the name of analysis, most of the media channels mislead the viewers and provide base less information at times. Take utmost care in absorbing the information you see in any of the Indian news channel. This article titled,How To Watch Indian Union Budget 2011-2012 Live On Your PC, was originally published at Tech Dreams. Grab our rss feed or fan us on Facebook to get updates from us.

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  • iOS: Assignment to iVar in Block (ARC)

    - by manmal
    I have a readonly property isFinished in my interface file: typedef void (^MyFinishedBlock)(BOOL success, NSError *e); @interface TMSyncBase : NSObject { BOOL isFinished_; } @property (nonatomic, readonly) BOOL isFinished; and I want to set it to YES in a block at some point later, without creating a retain cycle to self: - (void)doSomethingWithFinishedBlock:(MyFinishedBlock)theFinishedBlock { __weak MyClass *weakSelf = self; MyFinishedBlock finishedBlockWrapper = ^(BOOL success, NSError *e) { [weakSelf willChangeValueForKey:@"isFinished"]; weakSelf -> isFinished_ = YES; [weakSelf didChangeValueForKey:@"isFinished"]; theFinishedBlock(success, e); }; self.finishedBlock = finishedBlockWrapper; // finishedBlock is a class ext. property } I'm unsure that this is the right way to do it (I hope I'm not embarrassing myself here ^^). Will this code leak, or break, or is it fine? Perhaps there is an easier way I have overlooked? SOLUTION Thanks to the answers below (especially Krzysztof Zablocki), I was shown the way to go here: Define isFinished as readwrite property in the class extension (somehow I missed that one) so no direct ivar assignment is needed, and change code to: - (void)doSomethingWithFinishedBlock:(MyFinishedBlock)theFinishedBlock { __weak MyClass *weakSelf = self; MyFinishedBlock finishedBlockWrapper = ^(BOOL success, NSError *e) { MyClass *strongSelf = weakSelf; strongSelf.isFinished = YES; theFinishedBlock(success, e); }; self.finishedBlock = finishedBlockWrapper; // finishedBlock is a class ext. property }

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  • Get to Know a Candidate (16 of 25): Stewart Alexander&ndash;Socialist Party USA

    - by Brian Lanham
    DISCLAIMER: This is not a post about “Romney” or “Obama”. This is not a post for whom I am voting. Information sourced for Wikipedia. Alexander is an American democratic socialist politician and a resident of California. Alexander was the Peace and Freedom Party candidate for Lieutenant Governor in 2006. He received 43,319 votes, 0.5% of the total. In August 2010, Alexander declared his candidacy for the President of the United States with the Socialist Party and Green Party. In January 2011, Alexander also declared his candidacy for the presidential nomination of the Peace and Freedom Party. Stewart Alexis Alexander was born to Stewart Alexander, a brick mason and minister, and Ann E. McClenney, a nurse and housewife.  While in the Air Force Reserve, Alexander worked as a full-time retail clerk at Safeway Stores and then began attending college at California State University, Dominguez Hills. Stewart began working overtime as a stocking clerk with Safeway to support himself through school. During this period he married to Freda Alexander, his first wife. They had one son. He was honorably discharged in October 1976 and married for the second time. He left Safeway in 1978 and for a brief period worked as a licensed general contractor. In 1980, he went to work for Lockheed Aircraft but quit the following year.  Returning to Los Angeles, he became involved in several civic organizations, including most notably the NAACP (he became the Labor and Industry Chairman for the Inglewood South Bay Branch of the NAACP). In 1986 he moved back to Los Angeles and hosted a weekly talk show on KTYM Radio until 1989. The show dealt with social issues affecting Los Angeles such as gangs, drugs, and redevelopment, interviewing government officials from all levels of government and community leaders throughout California. He also worked with Delores Daniels of the NAACP on the radio and in the street. The Socialist Party USA (SPUSA) is a multi-tendency democratic-socialist party in the United States. The party states that it is the rightful continuation and successor to the tradition of the Socialist Party of America, which had lasted from 1901 to 1972. The party is officially committed to left-wing democratic socialism. The Socialist Party USA, along with its predecessors, has received varying degrees of support, when its candidates have competed against those from the Republican and Democratic parties. Some attribute this to the party having to compete with the financial dominance of the two major parties, as well as the limitations of the United States' legislatively and judicially entrenched two-party system. The Party supports third-party candidates, particularly socialists, and opposes the candidates of the two major parties. Opposing both capitalism and "authoritarian Communism", the Party advocates bringing big business under public ownership and democratic workers' self-management. The party opposes unaccountable bureaucratic control of Soviet communism. Alexander has Ballot Access in: CO, FL, NY, OH (write-in access in: IN, TX) Learn more about Stewart Alexander and Socialist Party USA on Wikipedia.

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  • Why is domU faster than dom0 on IO?

    - by Paco
    I have installed debian 7 on a physical machine. This is the configuration of the machine: 3 hard drives using RAID 5 Strip element size: 1M Read policy: Adaptive read ahead Write policy: Write Through /boot 200 MB ext2 / 15 GB ext3 SWAP 10GB LVM rest (~500GB) emphasized text I installed postgresql, created a big database (over 1GB). I have an SQL request that takes a lot of time to run (a SELECT statement, so it only reads data from the database). This request takes approximately 5.5 seconds to run. Then, I installed XEN, created a domU, with another debian distro. On this OS, I also installed postgresql, with the same database. The same SQL request takes only 2.5 seconds to run. I checked the kernel on both dom0 and domU. uname-a returns "Linux debian 3.2.0-4-amd64 #1 SMP Debian 3.2.41-2+deb7u2 x86_64 GNU/Linux" on both systems. I checked the kernel parameters, which are approximately the same. For those that are relevant, I changed their values to make them match on both systems using sysctl. I saw no changes (the requests still take the same amount of time). After this, I checked the file systems. I used ext3 on domU. Still no changes. I installed hdparm, and ran hdparm -Tt on both systems, on all my partitions on both systems, and I get similar results. Now, I am stuck, I don't know what is different, and what could be the cause of such a big difference. Additional Info: Debian runs on a Dell server PowerEdge 2950 postgresql: 9.1.9 (both dom0 and domU) xen-linux-system: 3.2.0 xen-hypervisor: 4.1 Thanks EDIT: As Krzysztof Ksiezyk suggested, it might be due to some file caching system. I ran the dd command to test both the read and write speed. Here is domU: root@test1:~# dd if=/dev/zero of=/root/dd count=5MB bs=1MB ^C2020+0 records in 2020+0 records out 2020000000 bytes (2.0 GB) copied, 18.8289 s, 107 MB/s root@test1:~# dd if=/root/dd of=/dev/null count=5MB bs=1MB 2020+0 records in 2020+0 records out 2020000000 bytes (2.0 GB) copied, 15.0549 s, 134 MB/s And here is dom0: root@debian:~# dd if=/dev/zero of=/root/dd count=5MB bs=1MB ^C1693+0 records in 1693+0 records out 1693000000 bytes (1.7 GB) copied, 8.87281 s, 191 MB/s root@debian:~# dd if=/root/dd of=/dev/null count=5MB bs=1MB 1693+0 records in 1693+0 records out 1693000000 bytes (1.7 GB) copied, 0.501509 s, 3.4 GB/s What can be the cause of this caching system? And how can we "fix" it? Can we apply it to dom0? EDIT 2: I switched my virtual disk type. To do so I followed this article. I did a dd if=/dev/vg0/test1-disk of=/mnt/test1-disk.img bs=16M Then in /etc/xen/test1.cfg, I changed the disk parameter to use file: instead of phy: it should have removed the file caching, but I still get the same numbers (domU being much faster for Postgres)

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  • Gene Hunt Says:

    - by BizTalk Visionary
    "She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot"   "He's got fingers in more pies than a leper on a cookery course" "You so much as belch out of line and I'll have your scrotum on a barbed wire plate" "Let's go play slappyface" "your surrounded by armed barstewards" “Right, get out and find this murdering scum right now!” [pause] “Scratch that, we start 9am sharp tomorrow, it's beer-o-clock.” "So then Cartwright, you're such a good Detective.... Go and Detect me a packet of Garibaldies" "You're not the one who is going to have to knit himself a new arsehole after 25 years of aggressive male love in prison" “A dream for me is Diana Dors and a bottle of chip fat." “A dream for me is Diana Dors and a bottle of chip fat." “They reckon you've got concussion - but personally, I couldn't give a tart's furry cup if half your brains are falling out. Don't ever waltz into my kingdom playing king of the jungle.” “You great... soft... sissy... girlie... nancy... french... bender... Man-United supporting POOF!!” “Drugs eh? What's the point. They make you forget, make you talk funny, make you see things that aren't there. My old grandma got all of that for free when she had a stroke.” “He's Dead! It's quite serious!” “Fanny in the flat...Nice Work” “SoopaDoopa” “Tits in a Jumper!” “Drop your weapons! You are surrounded by armed bastards!” “It's 1973, almost dinnertime. I'm 'avin 'oops!” “Trust the Gene Genie!” “I wanna hump Britt Ekland...What're we gonna do...!” “Was that 'E' and you don't know the rest?! or you going 'Eeee, I Dunno'” “Good Girl! Prostate probe and no jelly. “ “Give over, it's nothing like Spain!” “I'll come over your houses and stamp on all your toys!” “The Wizard will sort it out. It's cos of the wonderful things he does” “Cartwright can jump up and down on his knackers!” “It's not a windup love, he really thinks like this!” “Women! You can't say two words to them” “I was thinking, maybe, a Berni Inn!” “If I wanted a bollocking for drinking too much...!” “Shhhh...hear that...that's the sound of this case being closed! “Chicken!? In a basket!?” “Seems a large quantity of cocaine...” “You probably thought he kept his cock in his keks!” “The tail-end of Rays demotion speech!” “Stephen Warren is gay!?” “You're a smart boy, use your initiative!” “Don't be such a Jessie!” “I find the idea of a bird brushing her teeth...!” “Never been tempted to the Magic talcum powder?” “Make sure she's got nice tits!” “You're more likely to find an ostrich with a plum up it's arse!” “Drink this lot under the table and have a pint on the way home!” “Never be a female Prime Minister!” “Pub? Pub! pub!.....Pub!” “Thou shalt not suck off rent boys!” “The number for the special clinic is on the notice board!” “If me uncle had tits, would he be me auntie!” “Got your vicars in a twist!” “We Done?!” “Your mates got balls...If they were any bigger he'd need a wheelbarrow!” “The Ending - from 'I want to go home' to the end music.”

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  • Simplifying Human Capital Management with Mobile Applications

    - by HCM-Oracle
    By Aaron Green If you're starting to think 'mobility' is a recurring theme in your reading, you'd be right. For those who haven't started to build organisational capabilities to leverage it, it's fair to say you're late to the party. The good news: better late than never. Research firm eMarketer says the worldwide smartphone audience will total 1.75 billion this year, while communications technology and services provider Ericsson suggests smartphones will triple to 5.6 billion globally by 2019. It should be no surprise, smart phone adoption is reaching the farthest corners of the globe; the subsequent impact of enterprise applications enabled by these devices is driving business performance improvement and will continue to do so. Companies using advanced workforce analytics can add significantly to the bottom line, while impacting customer satisfaction, quality and productivity. It's a statement that makes most business leaders sit forward in their chairs. Achieving these three standards is like sipping The Golden Elixir for the business world. No-one would argue their importance. So what are 'advanced workforce analytics?' Simply, they're unprecedented access to workforce trends and performance markers. Many are made possible by a mobile world and the enterprise applications that come with it on smart devices. Some refer to it as 'the consumerisation of IT'. As this phenomenon has matured and become more widely appreciated it has impacted the spectrum of functional units within an enterprise differently, but powerfully. Whether it's sales, HR, marketing, IT, or operations, all have benefited from a more mobile approach. It has been the catalyst for improvement in, and management of, the employee experience. The net result of which is happier customers. The obvious benefits but the lesser realised impact Most people understand that mobility allows for greater efficiency and productivity, collaboration and flexibility, but how that translates into business outcomes within the various functional groups is lesser known. In actuality mobility has helped galvanise partnerships between cross-functional groups within the enterprise. Where in some quarters it was once feared mobility could fragment a workforce, its rallying cry of support is coming from what you might describe as an unlikely source - HR. As the bedrock of an enterprise, it is conceivable HR might contemplate the possible negative impact of a mobile workforce that no-longer sits in an office, at the same desks every day. After all, who would know what they were doing or saying? How would they collaborate? It's reasonable to see why HR might have a legitimate claim to try and retain as much 'perceived control' as possible. The reality however is mobility has emancipated human capital and its management. Mobility and enterprise applications are expediting decision making. Google calls it Zero Moment of Truth, or ZMOT. It enables smoother operation and can contribute to faster growth. From a collaborative perspective, with the growing use of enterprise social media, which in many cases is being driven by HR, workforce planning and the tangible impact of change is much easier to map. This in turn provides a platform from which individuals and teams can thrive. With more agility and ability to anticipate, staff satisfaction and retention is higher, and real time feedback constant. The management team can save time, energy and costs with more accurate data, which is then intelligently applied across the workforce to truly engage with staff, customers and partners. From a human capital management (HCM) perspective, mobility can help you close the loop on true talent management. It can enhance what managers can offer and what employees can provide in return. It can create nested relationships and powerful partnerships. IT and HR - partners and stewards of mobility One effect of enterprise mobility is an evolution in the nature of the relationship between HR and IT from one of service provision to partnership. The reason for the dynamic shift is largely due to the 'bring your own device' (BYOD) movement, which is transitioning to a 'bring your own application' (BYOA) scenario. As enterprise technology has in some ways reverse-engineered its solutions to help manage this situation, the partnership between IT (the functional owner) and HR (the strategic enabler) is deeply entrenched. And it has to be. The CIO and the HR leader are faced with compliance and regulatory issues and concerns around information security and personal privacy on a daily basis, complicated by global reach and varied domestic legislation. There are tens of thousands of new mobile apps entering the market each month and, unlike many consumer applications which get downloaded but are often never opened again after initial perusal, enterprise applications are being relied upon by functional groups, not least by HR to enhance people management. It requires a systematic approach across all applications in use within the enterprise in order to ensure they're used to best effect. No turning back, and no desire to With real time analytics on performance and the ability for immediate feedback, there is no turning back for managers. In my experience with Oracle, our customers' operational efficiency is at record levels. It's clear as a result of the combination of individual KPIs and organisational goals, CIOs have been able to give HR leaders the ability to build predictive models that feed into an enterprise organisations' evolving strategy. It also helps them ensure regulatory compliance much more easily. Once an arduous task, with mobile enabled automation and quality data, compliance is simpler. Their world has changed for the better. For the CIO, mobility also assists them to optimise performance. While it doesn't come without challenges, mobile-enabled applications and the native experience users have with them means employees don't need high-level technical expertise to train users. It reduces the training and engagement required from the IT team so they can focus on other things that deliver value to the bottom line; all the while lowering the cost of assets and related maintenance work by simplifying processes. Rewards of a mobile enterprise outweigh risks With mobile tools allowing us to increasingly integrate our personal and professional lives, terms like "office hours" are becoming irrelevant, so work/life balance is a cultural must. Enterprises are expected to offer tools that enable workers to access information from anywhere, at any time, from any device. Employees want simplicity and convenience but it doesn't stop at private enterprise. This is a societal shift. Governments, which traditionally have been known to be slower to adopt newer technology, are also offering support for local businesses to go mobile. Several state government websites have advice on how to create mobile apps and more. And as recently as last week the Victorian Minister for Technology Gordon Rich-Phillips unveiled his State government's ICT roadmap for the next two years, which details an increased use of the public cloud, as well as mobile communications, and improved access to online data-sets. Tech giants are investing significantly in solutions designed to simplify mobile deployment and enablement. The mobility trend is creating a wave of change in the industry and driving transformation in the enterprise. If you're not on that wave, the business risk continues to rise as your competitiveness drops. Aaron is the Vice President of HCM Strategy at Oracle Corporation where he is responsible for researching and identifying emerging trends in the practice of Human Resources and works to deliver industry-leading technology solutions. Other responsibilities include, ownership of Oracle's innovative HCM solutions across JAPAC and enabling organisations to transform and modernise their workforce tools. Follow him on Twitter @aaronjgreen

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