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  • Position:absolute

    - by Andrew
    I have I have a div called logo. I want the logo to be on top of other areas and to overlap into the the preface top of a drupal site, the logo currently sits in the header area. I looked up position absolute and I think that what I need to use but when I use position absolute the logo disappears, I can see it if I use position fixed, relative etc. I thought the logo was being hidden because I was not using a z-index but even with that I cant see the logo. What am I doing wrong? #logo { position: absolute; top: 30px; /* 30 pixels from the top of the page */ left: 80px; /* 80 pixels from the left hand side */ z-index:1099; border: 1px solid red; /* So we can see what is happening */ } Also does anyone know of a really good free online css course? Here is some additional information, namely the CSS and the page.tpl.php: <?php // $Id: page.tpl.php,v 1.1.2.5 2010/04/08 07:02:59 sociotech Exp $ ?><!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> <html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="<?php print $language->language; ?>" xml:lang="<?php print $language->language; ?>"> <head> <title><?php print $head_title; ?></title> <?php print $head; ?> <?php print $styles; ?> <?php print $setting_styles; ?> <!--[if IE 8]> <?php print $ie8_styles; ?> <![endif]--> <!--[if IE 7]> <?php print $ie7_styles; ?> <![endif]--> <!--[if lte IE 6]> <?php print $ie6_styles; ?> <![endif]--> <?php print $local_styles; ?> <?php print $scripts; ?> </head> <body id="<?php print $body_id; ?>" class="<?php print $body_classes; ?>"> <div id="page" class="page"> <div id="page-inner" class="page-inner"> <div id="skip"> <a href="#main-content-area"><?php print t('Skip to Main Content Area'); ?></a> </div> <!-- header-top row: width = grid_width --> <?php print theme('grid_row', $header_top, 'header-top', 'full-width', $grid_width); ?> <!-- header-group row: width = grid_width --> <div id="header-group-wrapper" class="header-group-wrapper full-width"> <div id="header-group" class="header-group row <?php print $grid_width; ?>"> <div id="header-group-inner" class="header-group-inner inner clearfix"> <?php print theme('grid_block', theme('links', $secondary_links), 'secondary-menu'); ?> <?php print theme('grid_block', $search_box, 'search-box'); ?> <?php if ($logo || $site_name || $site_slogan): ?> <div id="header-site-info" class="header-site-info block"> <div id="header-site-info-inner" class="header-site-info-inner inner"> <?php if ($logo): ?> <div id="logo"> <a href="<?php print check_url($front_page); ?>" title="<?php print t('Home'); ?>"><img src="<?php print $logo; ?>" alt="<?php print t('Home'); ?>" /></a> </div> <?php endif; ?> <?php if ($site_name || $site_slogan): ?> <div id="site-name-wrapper" class="clearfix"> <?php if ($site_name): ?> <span id="site-name"><a href="<?php print check_url($front_page); ?>" title="<?php print t('Home'); ?>"><?php print $site_name; ?></a></span> <?php endif; ?> <?php if ($site_slogan): ?> <span id="slogan"><?php print $site_slogan; ?></span> <?php endif; ?> </div><!-- /site-name-wrapper --> <?php endif; ?> </div><!-- /header-site-info-inner --> </div><!-- /header-site-info --> <?php endif; ?> <?php print $header; ?> <?php print theme('grid_block', $primary_links_tree, 'primary-menu'); ?> </div><!-- /header-group-inner --> </div><!-- /header-group --> </div><!-- /header-group-wrapper --> <!-- preface-top row: width = grid_width --> <?php print theme('grid_row', $preface_top, 'preface-top', 'full-width', $grid_width); ?> <!-- main row: width = grid_width --> <div id="main-wrapper" class="main-wrapper full-width<?php if ($is_front) { print ' front'; } ?>"> <div id="main" class="main row <?php print $grid_width; ?>"> <div id="main-inner" class="main-inner inner clearfix"> <?php print theme('grid_row', $sidebar_first, 'sidebar-first', 'nested', $sidebar_first_width); ?> <!-- main group: width = grid_width - sidebar_first_width --> <div id="main-group" class="main-group row nested <?php print $main_group_width; ?>"> <div id="main-group-inner" class="main-group-inner inner"> <?php print theme('grid_row', $preface_bottom, 'preface-bottom', 'nested'); ?> <div id="main-content" class="main-content row nested"> <div id="main-content-inner" class="main-content-inner inner"> <!-- content group: width = grid_width - (sidebar_first_width + sidebar_last_width) --> <div id="content-group" class="content-group row nested <?php print $content_group_width; ?>"> <div id="content-group-inner" class="content-group-inner inner"> <?php print theme('grid_block', $breadcrumb, 'breadcrumbs'); ?> <?php if ($content_top || $help || $messages): ?> <div id="content-top" class="content-top row nested"> <div id="content-top-inner" class="content-top-inner inner"> <?php print theme('grid_block', $help, 'content-help'); ?> <?php print theme('grid_block', $messages, 'content-messages'); ?> <?php print $content_top; ?> </div><!-- /content-top-inner --> </div><!-- /content-top --> <?php endif; ?> <div id="content-region" class="content-region row nested"> <div id="content-region-inner" class="content-region-inner inner"> <a name="main-content-area" id="main-content-area"></a> <?php print theme('grid_block', $tabs, 'content-tabs'); ?> <div id="content-inner" class="content-inner block"> <div id="content-inner-inner" class="content-inner-inner inner"> <?php if ($title): ?> <h1 class="title"><?php print $title; ?></h1> <?php endif; ?> <?php if ($content): ?> <div id="content-content" class="content-content"> <?php print $content; ?> <?php print $feed_icons; ?> </div><!-- /content-content --> <?php endif; ?> </div><!-- /content-inner-inner --> </div><!-- /content-inner --> </div><!-- /content-region-inner --> </div><!-- /content-region --> <?php print theme('grid_row', $content_bottom, 'content-bottom', 'nested'); ?> </div><!-- /content-group-inner --> </div><!-- /content-group --> <?php print theme('grid_row', $sidebar_last, 'sidebar-last', 'nested', $sidebar_last_width); ?> </div><!-- /main-content-inner --> </div><!-- /main-content --> <?php print theme('grid_row', $postscript_top, 'postscript-top', 'nested'); ?> </div><!-- /main-group-inner --> </div><!-- /main-group --> </div><!-- /main-inner --> </div><!-- /main --> </div><!-- /main-wrapper --> <!-- postscript-bottom row: width = grid_width --> <?php print theme('grid_row', $postscript_bottom, 'postscript-bottom', 'full-width', $grid_width); ?> <!-- footer row: width = grid_width --> <?php print theme('grid_row', $footer, 'footer', 'full-width', $grid_width); ?> <!-- footer-message row: width = grid_width --> <div id="footer-message-wrapper" class="footer-message-wrapper full-width"> <div id="footer-message" class="footer-message row <?php print $grid_width; ?>"> <div id="footer-message-inner" class="footer-message-inner inner clearfix"> <?php print theme('grid_block', $footer_message, 'footer-message-text'); ?> </div><!-- /footer-message-inner --> </div><!-- /footer-message --> </div><!-- /footer-message-wrapper --> </div><!-- /page-inner --> </div><!-- /page --> <?php print $closure; ?> </body> </html> CSS /* $Id: style.css,v 1.1.2.11 2010/07/02 22:11:04 sociotech Exp $ */ /* Margin, Padding, Border Resets -------------------------------------------------------------- */ html, body, div, span, p, dl, dt, dd, ul, ol, li, h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, form, fieldset, input, textarea { margin: 0; padding: 0; } img, abbr, acronym { border: 0; } /* HTML Elements -------------------------------------------------------------- */ p { margin: 1em 0; } h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 { margin: 0 0 0.5em 0; } h1 { color: white !important; text-shadow: black !important; } ul, ol, dd { margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-left: 2em; /* LTR */ } li ul, li ol { margin-bottom: 0; } ul { list-style-type: disc; } ol { list-style-type: decimal; } a { margin: 0; padding: 0; text-decoration: none; } a:link, a:visited { } a:hover, a:focus, a:active { text-decoration: underline; } blockquote { } hr { height: 1px; border: 1px solid gray; } /* tables */ table { border-spacing: 0; width: 100%; } tr.even td, tr.odd td { background-color: #FFFFFF; border: 1px solid #dbdbdb; } caption { text-align: left; } th { margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 0 0; } th.active img { display: inline; } thead th { padding-right: 10px; } td { margin: 0; padding: 3px; } /* Remove grid block styles from Drupal's table ".block" class */ td.block { border: none; float: none; margin: 0; } /* Maintain light background/dark text on dragged table rows */ tr.drag td, tr.drag-previous td { background: #FFFFDD; color: #000; } /* Accessibility /-------------------------------------------------------------- */ /* skip-link to main content, hide offscreen */ #skip a, #skip a:hover, #skip a:visited { height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: -500px; width: 1px; } /* make skip link visible when selected */ #skip a:active, #skip a:focus { background-color: #fff; color: #000; height: auto; padding: 5px 10px; position: absolute; top: 0; width: auto; z-index: 99; } #skip a:hover { text-decoration: none; } /* Helper Classes /-------------------------------------------------------------- */ .hide { display: none; visibility: hidden; } .left { float: left; } .right { float: right; } .clear { clear: both; } /* clear floats after an element */ /* (also in ie6-fixes.css, ie7-fixes.css) */ .clearfix:after, .clearfix .inner:after { clear: both; content: "."; display: block; font-size: 0; height: 0; line-height: 0; overflow: auto; visibility: hidden; } /* Grid Layout Basics (specifics in 'gridnn_x.css') -------------------------------------------------------------- */ /* center page and full rows: override this for left-aligned page */ .page, .row { margin: 0 auto; } /* fix layout/background display on floated elements */ .row, .nested, .block { overflow: hidden; } /* full-width row wrapper */ div.full-width { width: 100%; } /* float, un-center & expand nested rows */ .nested { float: left; /* LTR */ margin: 0; width: 100%; } /* allow Superfish menus to overflow */ #sidebar-first.nested, #sidebar-last.nested, div.superfish { overflow: visible; } /* sidebar layouts */ .sidebars-both-first .content-group { float: right; /* LTR */ } .sidebars-both-last .sidebar-first { float: right; /* LTR */ } /* Grid Mask Overlay -------------------------------------------------------------- */ #grid-mask-overlay { display: none; left: 0; opacity: 0.75; position: absolute; top: 0; width: 100%; z-index: 997; } #grid-mask-overlay .row { margin: 0 auto; } #grid-mask-overlay .block .inner { background-color: #e3fffc; outline: none; } .grid-mask #grid-mask-overlay { display: block; } .grid-mask .block { overflow: visible; } .grid-mask .block .inner { outline: #f00 dashed 1px; } #grid-mask-toggle { background-color: #777; border: 2px outset #fff; color: #fff; cursor: pointer; font-variant: small-caps; font-weight: normal; left: 0; -moz-border-radius: 5px; padding: 0 5px 2px 5px; position: absolute; text-align: center; top: 22px; -webkit-border-radius: 5px; z-index: 998; } #grid-mask-toggle.grid-on { border-style: inset; font-weight: bold; } /* Site Info -------------------------------------------------------------- */ #header-site-info { width: auto; } #site-name-wrapper { float: left; /* LTR */ } #site-name, #slogan { display: block; } #site-name a:link, #site-name a:visited, #site-name a:hover, #site-name a:active { text-decoration: none; } #site-name a { outline: 0; } /* Regions -------------------------------------------------------------- */ /* Header Regions -------------------------------------------------------------- */ #header-group { overflow: visible; } /* Content Regions (Main) -------------------------------------------------------------- */ .node-bottom { margin: 1.5em 0 0 0; } /* Clear floats on regions -------------------------------------------------------------- */ #header-top-wrapper, #header-group-wrapper, #preface-top-wrapper, #main-wrapper, #preface-bottom, #content-top, #content-region, #content-bottom, #postscript-top, #postscript-bottom-wrapper, #footer-wrapper, #footer-message-wrapper { clear: both; } /* Drupal Core /-------------------------------------------------------------- */ /* Lists /-------------------------------------------------------------- */ .item-list ul li { margin: 0; } .block ul, .block ol { margin-left: 2em; /* LTR */ padding: 0; } .content-inner ul, .content-inner ol { margin-bottom: 1.5em; } .content-inner li ul, .content-inner li ol { margin-bottom: 0; } .block ul.links { margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ } /* Menus /-------------------------------------------------------------- */ ul.menu li, ul.links li { margin: 0; padding: 0; } /* Primary Menu /-------------------------------------------------------------- */ /* use ID to override overflow: hidden for .block, dropdowns should always be visible */ #primary-menu { overflow: visible; } /* remove left margin from primary menu list */ #primary-menu.block ul { margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ } /* remove bullets, float left */ .primary-menu ul li { float: left; /* LTR */ list-style: none; position: relative; } /* style links, and unlinked parent items (via Special Menu Items module) */ .primary-menu ul li a, .primary-menu ul li .nolink { display: block; padding: 0.75em 1em; text-decoration: none; } /* Add cursor style for unlinked parent menu items */ .primary-menu ul li .nolink { cursor: default; } /* remove outline */ .primary-menu ul li:hover, .primary-menu ul li.sfHover, .primary-menu ul a:focus, .primary-menu ul a:hover, .primary-menu ul a:active { outline: 0; } /* Secondary Menu /-------------------------------------------------------------- */ .secondary-menu-inner ul.links { margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ } /* Skinr styles /-------------------------------------------------------------- */ /* Skinr selectable helper classes */ .fusion-clear { clear: both; } div.fusion-right { float: right; /* LTR */ } div.fusion-center { float: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; } .fusion-center-content .inner { text-align: center; } .fusion-center-content .inner ul.menu { display: inline-block; text-align: center; } /* required to override drupal core */ .fusion-center-content #user-login-form { text-align: center; } .fusion-right-content .inner { text-align: right; /* LTR */ } /* required to override drupal core */ .fusion-right-content #user-login-form { text-align: right; /* LTR */ } /* Large, bold callout text style */ .fusion-callout .inner { font-weight: bold; } /* Extra padding on block */ .fusion-padding .inner { padding: 30px; } /* Adds 1px border and padding */ .fusion-border .inner { border-width: 1px; border-style: solid; padding: 10px; } /* Single line menu with separators */ .fusion-inline-menu .inner ul.menu { margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ } .fusion-inline-menu .inner ul.menu li { border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; display: inline; margin: 0; padding: 0; white-space: nowrap; } .fusion-inline-menu .inner ul.menu li a { padding: 0 8px 0 5px; /* LTR */ } .fusion-inline-menu .inner ul li.last { border: none; } /* Hide second level (and beyond) menu items */ .fusion-inline-menu .inner ul li.expanded ul { display: none; } /* Multi-column menu style with bolded top level menu items */ .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul { margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ text-align: left; /* LTR */ } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul li { border-right: none; display: block; font-weight: bold; } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul li.last { border-right: none; } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul li.last a { padding-right: 0; /* LTR */ } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul li.expanded, .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul li.leaf { float: left; /* LTR */ list-style-image: none; margin-left: 50px; /* LTR */ } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul.menu li.first { margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul li.expanded li.leaf { float: none; margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul li.expanded ul { display: block; margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul li.expanded ul li { border: none; margin-left: 0; /* LTR */ text-align: left; /* LTR */ } .fusion-multicol-menu .inner ul.menu li ul.menu li { font-weight: normal; } /* Split list across multiple columns */ .fusion-2-col-list .inner .item-list ul li, .fusion-2-col-list .inner ul.menu li { float: left; /* LTR */ width: 50%; } .fusion-3-col-list .inner .item-list ul li, .fusion-3-col-list .inner ul.menu li { float: left; /* LTR */ width: 33%; } .fusion-2-col-list .inner .item-list ul.pager li, .fusion-3-col-list .inner .item-list ul.pager li { float: none; width: auto; } /* List with bottom border Fixes a common issue when list items have bottom borders and appear to be doubled when nested lists end and begin. This removes the extra border-bottom */ .fusion-list-bottom-border .inner ul li { list-style: none; list-style-type: none; list-style-image: none; } .fusion-list-bottom-border .inner ul li, .fusion-list-bottom-border .view-content div.views-row { padding: 0 0 0 10px; /* LTR */ border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; line-height: 216.7%; /* 26px */ } .fusion-list-bottom-border .inner ul { margin: 0; } .fusion-list-bottom-border .inner ul li ul { border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; } .fusion-list-bottom-border .inner ul li ul li.last { border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin-bottom: -1px; margin-top: -1px; } #views_slideshow_singleframe_pager_slideshow-page_2 .pager-item { display:block; } #views_slideshow_singleframe_pager_slideshow-page_2 { position:absolute; right:0; top:0; } #header-group-wrapper { background: none; } #page { background-color:#F3F3F3; background-image:url('/sites/all/themes/fusion/fusion_core/images/runswithgradient.jpg'); background-repeat:no-repeat; background-attachment: fixed; width: auto; } #views_slideshow_singleframe_pager_slideshow-page_2 div a img { top:0px; height:60px; width:80px; padding-right:10px; padding-bottom:19px; } #mycontent{ width: 720px; } .product-body { -moz-border-radius: 4px 4px 4px 4px; margin: 0 0 20px; overflow: hidden; padding: 20px; background: none repeat scroll 0 0 #F7F7F7; border: 1px solid #000000; border-style:solid; border-width:thin; color:#000000; } #product-details { background: none repeat scroll 0 0 #F7F7F7 !important; border: 1px solid #000000 !important; color: #8E8E8E; } #logo { position: relative; top: 30px; /* 30 pixels from the top of the page */ left: 80px; /* 80 pixels from the left hand side */ z-index:1099; border: 1px solid red; /* So we can see what is happening */ } #breadcrumbs-inner { background: none; border-color: transparent; border-style: none; } #block-views-new_products-block_1{ height:200px; } /* List with no bullet and extra padding This is a common style for menus, which removes the bullet and adds more vertical padding for a simple list style */ .fusion-list-vertical-spacing .inner ul, .fusion-list-vertical-spacing div.views-row-first { margin-left: 0; margin-top: 10px; } .fusion-list-vertical-spacing .inner ul li, .fusion-list-vertical-spacing div.views-row { line-height: 133.3%; /* 16px/12px */ margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0; } .fusion-list-vertical-spacing .inner ul li { list-style: none; list-style-image: none; list-style-type: none; } .fusion-list-vertical-spacing .inner ul li ul { margin-left: 10px; /* LTR */ } /* Bold all links */ .fusion-bold-links .inner a { font-weight: bold; } /* Float imagefield images left and add margin */ .fusion-float-imagefield-left .field-type-filefield, .fusion-float-imagefield-left .image-insert, .fusion-float-imagefield-left .imagecache { float: left; /* LTR */ margin: 0 15px 15px 0; /* LTR */ } /* Clear float on new Views item so each row drops to a new line */ .fusion-float-imagefield-left .views-row { clear: left; /* LTR */ } /* Float imagefield images right and add margin */ .fusion-float-imagefield-right .field-type-filefield, .fusion-float-imagefield-right .image-insert .fusion-float-imagefield-right .imagecache { float: right; /* LTR */ margin: 0 0 15px 15px; /* LTR */ } /* Clear float on new Views item so each row drops to a new line */ .fusion-float-imagefield-right .views-row { clear: right; /* LTR */ } /* Superfish: all menus */ .sf-menu li { list-style: none; list-style-image: none; list-style-type: none; } /* Superfish: vertical menus */ .superfish-vertical { position: relative; z-index: 9; } ul.sf-vertical { background: #fafafa; margin: 0; width: 100%; } ul.sf-vertical li { border-bottom: 1px solid #ccc; font-weight: bold; line-height: 200%; /* 24px */ padding: 0; width: 100%; } ul.sf-vertical li a:link, ul.sf-vertical li a:visited, ul.sf-vertical li .nolink { margin-left: 10px; padding: 2px; } ul.sf-vertical li a:hover, ul.sf-vertical li a.active { text-decoration: underline; } ul.sf-vertical li ul { background: #fafafa; border-top: 1px solid #ccc; margin-left: 0; width: 150px; } ul.sf-vertical li ul li.last { border-top: 1px solid #ccc; margin-bottom: -1px; margin-top: -1px; } ul.sf-vertical li ul { border-top: none; padding: 4px 0; } ul.sf-vertical li ul li { border-bottom: none; line-height: 150%; /* 24px */ More below but I can't paste that much Thanks for the suggestion I've tried this #header-group { position: relative; z-index: 9; } #logo { position: abosolute; top: 230px; /* 30 pixels from the top of the page */ left: 10px; /* 80 pixels from the left hand side */ z-index: 999; } but it's not working. I've taken a screen shot of the div to show the structure. http://i.stack.imgur.com/ff4DP.png

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  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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  • Website displays in chrome perfectly, but not in mozilla or IE

    - by Atharul Khan
    here are the code snippets for the html and css. It works finds in Google chrome, but when I try to display it in mozilla or IE, it shows something completely different. I cannot attach images as I do not have the required reputation. I really appreciate the help. Thank you! HTML <!DOCTYPE html> <html> <head> <meta charset="utf-8" /> <meta http-equiv="Content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" /> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1" /> <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="style.css"> <link rel="shortcut icon" href="ak.png"> <title>Home</title> </head> <body> <div class="Nav"> <nav> <ul class="navigation fade-in2"> <li><a href="#home">Home</a></li> <li><a href="#about">About</a></li> <li><a href="#portfolio">Portfolio</a></li> <li><a href="#shop">Shop</a></li> <li><a href="#blog">Blog</a></li> <li><a href="#contact">Contact</a></li> </ul> </nav> </div> <div class="logo"><a href="#home"><img class="ak fade-in2" src="ak.png"></a></div> <div class="background"><img class="beauty" src="beauty.jpg"></div> <div class="header"> <h1 class="headerName fade-in">DESIGN | DEVELOP | BRAND</h1> <h4 class="service fade-in3"><a href="#portfolio">VIEW PORTFOLIO</a></h4> <h4 class="service fade-in3"><a href="#services">VIEW SERVICES</a></h4> </div> <!--<div class="mainbody"><p>safsdaf</p></div>--> </body> </html> CSS @-webkit-keyframes fadeIn { from { opacity:0; } to { opacity:1; } } @-moz-keyframes fadeIn { from { opacity:0; } to { opacity:1; } } @keyframes fadeIn { from { opacity:0; } to { opacity:1; } } * { padding: 0; margin: 0; } li { display: inline; font-size: 15px; font-family: verdana; } nav { width: 100%; text-align: right; background-color: #222222; padding: 0; margin: 0px; line-height: 47px; position: fixed; z-index: 100; } .ak{ width: 90px; height: 55px; z-index: 101; position: fixed; background: transparent; color: transparent; background-color: transparent; } .Nav a{ text-decoration: none; padding: 15px; } .Nav a:link{ color: #A7A7A7; } .Nav a:visited{ color: #A7A7A7; } .Nav a:hover{ color: #DBDBDB; transition: all 0.3s ease-out 0s; transition-property: all; transition-duration: 0.3s; transition-timing-function: ease-out; transition-delay: 0s; } .header { background-color: rgba(0,0,0, 0.25); width: 100%; height: 626px; text-align: center; position: fixed; z-index: 10; } .background { position: fixed; z-index: 8; } .beauty { width: 100%; height: 626px; } .headerName { font-size: 2.5em; text-align: center; color: #D3D3D3; padding: 180px; padding-bottom: 50px; margin: 0px; letter-spacing: 4px; font-weight: 100; font-family: 'Lato', sans-serif; } .fade-in { opacity:0; /* make things invisible upon start */ -webkit-animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; /* call our keyframe named fadeIn, use animation ease-in and repeat it only 1 time */ -moz-animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; -webkit-animation-fill-mode:forwards; /* this makes sure that after animation is done we remain at the last keyframe value (opacity: 1)*/ -moz-animation-fill-mode:forwards; animation-fill-mode:forwards; -webkit-animation-duration:1s; -moz-animation-duration:1s; animation-duration:1s; -webkit-animation-delay: 0.3s; -moz-animation-delay:0.3s; animation-delay: 0.3s; } .fade-in2 { opacity:0; /* make things invisible upon start */ -webkit-animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; /* call our keyframe named fadeIn, use animation ease-in and repeat it only 1 time */ -moz-animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; -webkit-animation-fill-mode:forwards; /* this makes sure that after animation is done we remain at the last keyframe value (opacity: 1)*/ -moz-animation-fill-mode:forwards; animation-fill-mode:forwards; -webkit-animation-duration:1s; -moz-animation-duration:1s; animation-duration:1s; -webkit-animation-delay: 0.6s; -moz-animation-delay:0.6s; animation-delay: 0.6s; } .fade-in3 { opacity:0; /* make things invisible upon start */ -webkit-animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; /* call our keyframe named fadeIn, use animation ease-in and repeat it only 1 time */ -moz-animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; animation:fadeIn ease-in 1; -webkit-animation-fill-mode:forwards; /* this makes sure that after animation is done we remain at the last keyframe value (opacity: 1)*/ -moz-animation-fill-mode:forwards; animation-fill-mode:forwards; -webkit-animation-duration:1s; -moz-animation-duration:1s; animation-duration:1s; -webkit-animation-delay: 0.9s; -moz-animation-delay:0.9s; animation-delay: 0.9s; } .service{ font-size: 14px; width: 190px; text-align: center; font-family: 'Lato', sans-serif; color: #D3D3D3; border: 2px #A7A7A7 solid; border-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.5); display: inline-block; border-radius: 5px; background-color: transparent; letter-spacing: 2px; } .service a{ text-decoration: none; display: block; padding: 15px 20px; } .service a:link{ color: #D3D3D3; } .service a:visited{ color: #D3D3D3; } .service a:hover{ background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.15); transition: background-color .15s ease-in; -webkit-transition: background-color .15s ease-in; -moz-transition: background-color .15s ease-in; -o-transition: background-color .15s ease-in; } UPDATE 1: I updated both browsers and it seems the css3 animations work perfectly fine on both browsers. What seems to be the problem is the positioning of the pages UPDATE 2: Here are the links to the different browser screen shots Chrome: https://www.dropbox.com/s/jlpa4vu51kdnews/Chrome.JPG InternetExplorer: https://www.dropbox.com/s/zbchs3su9ahxr0n/IE.JPG Mozilla Firefox: dropbox(.)com/s/fyalnhsha9ktadz/Mozilla.JPG (I can't post the third link because I don't have enough reputation)

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  • ASp.NEt MVC: how to parse url string to get RouteData

    - by Feryt
    Hi. Is there any way hot to get RouteData from url string? I have login form with returlUrl as query string parameter. My routes are defined as : {languageCode}/{controller}/{action} In action method LogIn(string returlUrl) the returlUrl is something like "en/home/contacts" etc. I need to change languagePart a i dont want to use string.Replace, as routes may change in future. Thank you.

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  • JPG or BMP to YUV444

    - by Abhi
    Dear All I have to use YUV444 image for converting that image sample into RGB888 format. For that i have to convert jpeg image to yuv444 or bmp image to yuv444 image as i dont have yuv444 image format file. Please can anyone guide me how to do this. Thanks & Regards

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  • WPF: Menu Items only bind command parameters once.

    - by Aran Mulholland
    Ive noticed this a couple of times when using menus with commands, they are not very dynamic, check this out. I am creating a menu from a collection of colours, I use it to colour a column in a datagrid. Anyway when i first bring up the menu (its a context menu) the command parameter binding happens and it binds to the column that the context menu was opened on. However the next time i bring it up it seems wpf caches the menu and it doesnt rebind the command parameter. so i can set the colour only on the initial column that the context menu appeared on. I have got around this situation in the past by making the menu totally dynamic and destroying the collection when the menu closed and forcing a rebuild the next time it opened, i dont like this hack. anyone got a better way? <MenuItem Header="Colour" ItemsSource="{Binding RelativeSource={RelativeSource AncestorType={x:Type local:ResultEditorGrid}}, Path=ColumnColourCollection}" ItemTemplate="{StaticResource colourHeader}" > <MenuItem.Icon> <Image Source="{StaticResource ColumnShowIcon16}" /> </MenuItem.Icon> <MenuItem.ItemContainerStyle> <Style TargetType="MenuItem" BasedOn="{StaticResource systemMenuItemStyle}"> <!--Warning dont change the order of the following two setters otherwise the command parameter gets set after the command fires, not mush use eh?--> <Setter Property="CommandParameter"> <Setter.Value> <MultiBinding> <MultiBinding.Converter> <local:ColumnAndColourMultiConverter/> </MultiBinding.Converter> <Binding RelativeSource="{RelativeSource AncestorType={x:Type DataGridColumnHeader}}" Path="Column"/> <Binding Path="."/> </MultiBinding> </Setter.Value> </Setter> <Setter Property="Command" Value="{Binding RelativeSource={RelativeSource AncestorType={x:Type local:ResultEditorGrid}}, Path=ColourColumnCommand}" /> </Style> </MenuItem.ItemContainerStyle> </MenuItem>

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  • Xcode strange warning - Multiple build commands for output file

    - by Futur
    Hi All, I am getting an error like this, [WARN]Warning: Multiple build commands for output file /Developer/B/Be/build/Release-iphonesimulator/BB.app/no.png [WARN]Warning: Multiple build commands for output file /Developer/B/Be/build/Release-iphonesimulator/BB.app/d.png [WARN]Warning: Multiple build commands for output file /Developer/B/Be/build/Release-iphonesimulator/BB.app/n.png but i have checked the xcode and i dont see any duplicates of such files at all. As the apple lists says : http://lists.apple.com/archives/xcode-users/2006/Dec/msg00276.html there are no duplicates. Please help.

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  • Silverlight insert XAML inside other XAML

    - by Code Burn
    I am using WPF and Silverlight BookControls by Mitsu http://www.codeplex.com/wpfbookcontrol The WPF example alows that every page in the book to be a XAML file, but the Silverlight example dont. Is there a way load a XAML in every book page in the Silverlight example ?

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  • wait_fences: failed to receive reply: 10004003 solution:not found.

    - by amy
    I am getting this error message,Whenever I show alertview in function : (void)navigationController:(UINavigationController *)navigationController willShowViewController:(UIViewController *)viewController animated:(BOOL)animated { and then handling the click actio in : -(void)alertView:(UIAlertView *)alert clickedButtonAtIndex:(NSInteger)buttonIndex I saw all related posts but however didn't get any solution to this coz i dont have any keyboards on. I am only using navigation functions ans alertview inside it. App is also crash due to this problem. any help will highly appreciated.

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  • Windows service that will run every hour.

    - by user177883
    I m able to build a windows service and install it. I m curious how can i run this service every hour ? I want it to run every hour periodically. I also need to know the hour range that it s running so that I can store it somewhere. How can i do that? Edit : This service will be installed on many machines, therefore, I dont want to create a scheduled task say on 100 servers.

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  • Using client.status in c# with sharpsvn

    - by Pedro
    I want to use the status method but i dont understand how it works. Could someone show me an example of use please? EventHandler < SvnStatusEventArgs > statusHandler = new EventHandler<SvnStatusEventArgs>(void(object, SvnStatusEventArgs) target); client.Status(path, statusHandler);

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  • Android rawQuery help

    - by dweebsonduty
    I was wondering how I could query my database of 1400 items and get only the DISTINCT types and row ids. Below is the actual sql that I want to run by my program crashes if I dont return ids. return mDb.rawQuery("SELECT DISTINCT Type from the_foods",null); Any ideas?

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  • Singleton pattern in web applications

    - by ryudice
    I'm using a singleton pattern for the datacontext in my web application so that I dont have to instantiate it every time, however I'm not sure how web applications work, does IIS open a thread for every user connected? if so, what would happend if my singleton is not thread safe? Also, is it OK to use a singleton pattern for the datacontext? Thanks.

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  • uiwebview memory leaks

    - by Nnp
    i am getting following memory leaks for webview initWebUILocalStorageSupport MobileQuickLookLibrary() and here is my code, i dont know what i am missing. NSMutableURLRequest *theRequest = [NSMutableURLRequest requestWithURL:url cachePolicy:NSURLRequestReloadIgnoringCacheData timeoutInterval:10.0f]; [theRequest setHTTPMethod:@"POST"]; NSData *data = [self GenerateData]; if (data) { [theRequest setHTTPBody:data]; } [webView loadRequest:theRequest]; i hope my question is clear.thanks

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  • XPath to find element based on another XPath element

    - by martymcfly
    Hi, I have an Java AST and I try to find a variable inside it via XPath. Lets say the variable is called 'foobar' I could use //VariableDeclarator/VariableDeclaratorId[@Image='foobar'] but what if I dont know the text 'foobar', but want to read it from another element //VariableDeclarator/VariableDeclaratorId[@Image=//SynchronizedStatement/Expression/PrimaryExpression/PrimaryPrefix/Name] the 'Name' node has the information 'foobar' in @Image, but PrimaryPrefix/Name[@Image] does not work. How must I rewrite the condition //SynchronizedStatement/Expression/PrimaryExpression/PrimaryPrefix/Name that it is the same as @Image='foobar' ? Thanks

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  • Regarding "Conflicting changes to the role" Exception

    - by Anis Ghee
    Hi, Actually I am getting an exception "Conflicting changes to the role 'TableName' of the relationship 'DataModel.FK_TableName_RelateTableName' detected" when ApplyChanges method is called from the ObjectContext. I dont have any idea what this exception is all about. I just wanted to know the cause of this exception. Thanks, Burhan Ghee

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  • Where is the C precompiler for Oracle10g located?

    - by HY
    I am looking for a newer version of the Pro*C/C++ to upgrade my procui.exe 9.0.1.1.1. I downloaded the 10g client disk and when install I have the following options: instant client administrator runtime custom I dont seem to able to find the actual program other than just getting some common files. Can someone help?

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  • apache poi 3.6: Reading an xlsx file...

    - by Helpme
    Hi! I have a relatively dumb newb question, Im trying to open an xlsx file for reading using the apache POI 3.6. XSSFWorkbook workBook = new XSSFWorkbook("C:\test.xlsx"); The xlsx file was saved in excel 2007, the error Im seeing is: Exception in thread "main" java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: org/apache/xmlbeans/XmlException I dont know what the solution is... any ideas and/or example code?

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