Search Results

Search found 310 results on 13 pages for 'digg'.

Page 13/13 | < Previous Page | 9 10 11 12 13 

• Surface RT: To Be Or Not To Be (Part 1)

  - by smehaffie

  So the Surface RT has been out for 9 months and Microsoft just declared a $900 million dollar write-down. So how did this happen and what does it mean for Microsoft’s efforts to break into the tablet market? I have been thinking a lot about most of the information below since the Surface product line was released. If you are looking for a “Microsoft Is Dead” story, then don’t read any further. But if you want an honest look at what I think led Microsoft to this point and what I think can be done to make Surface RT devices better, then please continue reading. What Led Microsoft To The $900 Million Write-Down Surface Unveiling:Microsoft totally missed the boat when they unveiled the Surface product line on June 18th, 2012. Microsoft should’ve been ready to post the specifications of both devices that night. Microsoft should’ve had a site up and running right after the event so people could pre-order the devices. This would have given them a good idea what the interest was in each device.  They could also have used this data to make a better estimate for the number of units to to have available for the launch and beyond.  They also lost out on taking advantage of the excitement generated by the Surface RT and Surface Pro announcement. They could have thrown in a free touch keyboard to anyone who pre-ordered. The advertising should have started right after the announcement and gotten bigger as launch day approached. Push for as many pre-order as possible and build excitement for the launch. Actual Launch (Surface RT): By this time all excitement was gone from the initial announcement, except for the Micorsoft faithful. Microsoft should have been ready to sell the Surface in as many markets as possible at launch. The limited market release was a real letdown for a lot of people.  A limited release right after the initial announce is understandable, but not at the official launch of the product. Microsoft overpriced the device and now they are lowering it to what it should have been to start with. The $349 price is within the range I suggested it should be at before pricing was announced. (Surface Tablets: The Price Must Be Right). Limited ordering options online was also a killer. User should have been able to buy the base unit of each device and then add on whatever keyboard they wanted to (this applies more to the Surface Pro).  There should have also been a place where users could order any additional add-ins that they wanted to buy (covers, extra power supplies, etc.) Marketing was better and the dancing “Click In” commercial was cool, but the ads comparing the iPad with Siri should have been on the air from day one of the announcement (or at least the launch).  Consumers want to know why you tablet is better, not just that is has a clickable keyboard and built-in kickstand. They could have also compared it to some of the other mid-range tablets if they had not overprices it to begin with. Stock Applications (Mail, People, Calendar, Music, Video, Reader and IE): This is where Microsoft really blew it. They had all the time in the world to make these applications the best of breed and instead we got applications that seemed thrown together.  Some updates have made these application better, but they are all still lacking in features that should have been there from day one. This did not help to enhance a new users experience any. ** I will admit that the applications that were data driven were first class citizen’s and that makes it even more perplexing why MS could knock it out of the park with the Weather, Travel, Finance, Bing, etc.) and fail so miserably on the core applications users would use the most on a tablet. Desktop on Tablet: The desktop just is so out of place on the tablet  I understand it was needed for Office but think it would have been better to not have the desktop in Windows RT, but instead open up the Office applications in full screen mode, in a desktop shell (same goes for  IE11).That way the user wouldn’t realize they are leaving Metro and going to the desktop. The other option would have been to just not include Office on Windows RT devices. Instead they could have made awesome Widows Store Apps for Word, Excel, OneNote and PowerPoint. In addition, they could have made the stock Mail, People, and Calendar applications contain all the functions that Outlook gives desktop users. Having some of the settings in desktop mode and others under “Change PC Settings” made Windows RT seemed unfinished and rushed to market. What Can Be Done To Make Windows RT Based Tablets Better (At least in my opinion) Either eliminate the desktop all together from Windows RT or at least make the user experience better by hiding the fact the user is running Office/IE in the desktop. Personally I ‘d like them to totally get rid of it and just make awesome Windows Store Application version of Word, Excel PowerPoint & OneNote.  This might also make the OS smaller and give the user more available disk space. I doubt there will ever be a Windows Store App versions of Office, but I still think it is a good idea. Make is so users can easily direct their documents, picture, videos and music to their extra storage and can access these files from the standard libraries.  A user should not have to create a VM on their microSD card or create symbolic links to get this to work properly. Most consumers would not be able to do this. Then users get frustrated when they run out or room on their main storage because nothing is automatically save to their microSD card when saved to libraries.  This is a major bug that needs to be fixed, otherwise Microsoft’s selling point of having a microSD slot is worthless. Allows users to uninstall and re-install any of the Office product that come with the Surface. That way people can free up storage space by uninstalling the Office applications they do not need. Everyone’s needs are different, so make the options flexible. Don’t take up storage space for applications the user will not use. Make the Core applications the “Cream of the Crop” Windows App Store applications. The should set the bar for all other Store applications. Improve performance as much as possible, if it seems to be sluggish on a tablet consumer will not buy it. They need to price the next line of Surface product very aggressive to undercut not only iPad but also Android low end tablets (Nook, Kindle Fire, and Nexus, etc.) Give developers incentives to write quality applications for the devices. Don’t reward developers for cranking out cookie cutter, low quality applications. I’d even suggest Microsoft consider implementing some new store certification guideline to stop these type of applications being published. Allow users to easily move the recover disk “partition between their microSD card and main storage. My Predictions for the Surface RT and Windows RT I honestly think even with all the missteps MS has made since the announcement  about the Surface product line, that they are on the right path. I was excited the Surface tablets when they were announced, and I still am. The truth be told, Windows 8 on a tablet (aka: Windows RT) is better than both iOS and Android. My nephew who is an Apple fan boy told me after he saw and used Windows 8 (he got the beta running on his iPad), that Windows 8 kicked Apples butt as a tablet OS. So there is hope for all Windows RT based tablets. I agree with my nephew and that is why whenever anyone asks me about my Surface, I love showing it off and recommend it. The 6 keys to gaining market share in the tablet market are; Aggressive pricing by both Microsoft and their OEM’s Good quality devices put out by Microsoft and their OEM’s (there are some out there, but not enough) Marketing, Marketing, Marketing from both Microsoft and their OEM’s (Need more ads showing why windows based tablets are better than iPads and Android tablets) Getting Widows tablets in retails stores all over, and giving sales people incentive to sell them. Consumers like to try electronics out before they buy them, and most will listen to what the sales person suggest. Microsoft needs sales people in retail stores directing people to buy windows based tablets over iPads and Android tablets. I think the Microsoft Stores within Best Buy is a good start, but they also need to get prominent displays in Walmart, Target, etc.. Release a smaller form factor Surface, Hopefully the 8”-10” next generation Surface is not a rumor. Make “Surface” the brand name for all Microsoft tablets and hybrid devices that they come out with. They cannot change the name with each new release.  Make Surface synonymous with quality, the same way that iPad  is for Apple. Well, that is my 2 cents on the subject. Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment below. Soon to follow will be my thought on the Surface Pro, so keep an eye out for it. var addthis_pub="smehaffie"; var addthis_options="email, print, digg, slashdot, delicious, twitter, live, myspace, facebook, google, stumbleupon, newsvine";

  Read the article

• Customize Your WordPress Blog & Build an Audience

  - by Matthew Guay

  Want to quickly give your blog a fresh coat of paint and make it stand out from the pack?  Here’s how you can customize your WordPress blog and make it uniquely yours. WordPress offers many features that help you make your blog the best it can be.  Although it doesn’t offer as many customization features as full WordPress running on your own server, it still makes it easy to make your free blog as professional or cute as you like.  Here we’ll look at how you can customize features in your blog and build an audience. Personalize Your Blog WordPress make it easy to personalize your blog.  Most of the personalization options are available under the Appearance menu on the left.  Here we’ll look at how you can use most of these. Add New Theme WordPress is popular for the wide range of themes available for it.  While you cannot upload your own theme to your blog, you can choose from over 90 free themes currently available with more added all the time.  To change your theme, select the Themes page under Appearance. The Themes page will show random themes, but you can choose to view them in alphabetical order, by popularity, or how recently they were added.  Or, you can search for a theme by name or features. One neat way to find a theme that suites your needs is the Feature Filter.  Click the link on the right of the search button, and then select the options you want to make sure your theme has.  Click Apply Filters and WordPress will streamline your choices to themes that contain these features. Once you find a theme you like, click Preview under its name to see how your blog will look. This will open a popup that shows your blog with the new theme.  Click the Activate link in the top right corner of the popup if you want to keep this theme; otherwise, click the x in the top left corner to close the preview and continue your search for one you want.   Edit Current Theme Many of the themes on WordPress have customization options so you can make your blog stand out from others using the same theme.  The default theme Twenty Ten lets you customize both the header and background image, and many themes have similar options. To choose a new header image, select the Header page under Appearance.  Select one of the pre-installed images and click Save Changes, or upload your own image. If you upload an image larger than the size for the header, WordPress will let you crop it directly in the web interface.  Click Crop Header when you’ve selected the portion you want for the header of your blog. You can also customize your blog’s background from the Background page under Appearance.  You can upload an image for the background, or can enter a hex value of a color for a solid background.  If you’d rather visually choose a color, click Select a Color to open a color wheel that makes it easy to choose a nice color.  Click Save Changes when you’re done. Note: that all themes may not contain these customization options, but many are flexible.  You cannot edit the actual CSS of your theme on free WordPress blogs, but you you can purchase the Custom CSS Upgrade for $14.97/year to add this ability. Add Widgets With Extra Content Widgets are small addons for your blog, similar to Desktop Gadgets in Windows 7 or Dashboard widgets in Mac OS X.  You can add widgets to your blog to show recent Tweets, favorite Flickr pictures, popular articles, and more.  To add widgets to your blog, open the Widgets page under Appearance. You’ll see a variety of widgets available in the main white box.  Select one you want to add, and drag it to the widget area of your choice.  Different themes may offer different areas to place Widgets, such as the sidebar or footer. Most of the widgets offer configuration options.  Click the down arrow beside its name to edit it.  Set them up as you wish, and click Save on the bottom of the widget. Now we’ve got some nice dynamic content on our blog that’s automatically updated from the net. Choose Blog Extras By default, WordPress shows previews of websites when visitors hover over links on your blog, uses a special mobile theme when people visit from a mobile device, and shows related links to other blogs on the WordPress network at the end of your posts.  If you don’t like these features, you can disable them on the Extras page under Appearance. Build Your Audience Now that your blog is looking nice, we can make sure others will discover it.  WordPress makes it easy for you to make your site discoverable on search engines or social network, and even gives you the option to keep your site private if you’d prefer.  Open the Privacy page under Tools to change your site’s visibility.  By default, it will be indexed by search engines and be viewable to everyone.  You can also choose to leave your blog public but block search engines, or you can make it fully private. If you choose to make your blog private, you can enter up to 35 usernames of people you want to be able to see it.  Each private visitor must have a WordPress.com account so they can login.  If you need more than 35 private members, you can upgrade to allow unlimited private members for $29.97/year. Then, if you do want your site visible from search engines, one of the best ways to make sure your content is discovered by search engines is to register with their webmaster tools.  Once registered, you need to add your key to your site so the search engine will find and index it.  On the bottom of the Tools page, WordPress lets you enter your key from Google, Bing, and Yahoo! to make sure your site is discovered.  If you haven’t signed up with these tools yet, you can signup via the links on this page as well. Post Blog Updates to Social Networks Many people discover the sites they visit from friends and others via social networks.  WordPress makes it easy to automatically share links to your content on popular social networks.  To activate this feature, open the My Blogs page under Dashboard. Now, select the services you want to activate under the Publicize section.  This will automatically update Yahoo!, Twitter, and/or Facebook every time you publish a new post. You’ll have to authorize your connection with the social network.  With Twitter and Yahoo!, you can authorize them with only two clicks, but integrating with Facebook will take several steps.   If you’d rather share links yourself on social networks, you can get shortened URLs to your posts.  When you write a new post or edit an existing one, click the Get Shortlink button located underneath the post’s title. This will give you a small URL, usually 20 characters or less, that you can use to post on social networks such as Twitter.   This should help build your traffic, and if you want to see how many people are checking out your site, check out the stats on your Dashboard.  This shows a graph of how many people are visiting, and popular posts.  Click View All if you’d like more detailed stats including search engine terms that lead people to your blog. Conclusion Whether you’re looking to make a private blog for your group or publish a blog that’s read by millions around the world, WordPress is a great way to do it for free.  And with all of the personalization options, you can make your it memorable and exciting for your visitors. If you don’t have a blog, you can always signup for a free one from WordPress.com.  Also make sure to check out our article on how to Start Your Own Blog with WordPress. Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Manage Your WordPress Blog Comments from Your Windows DesktopAdd Social Bookmarking (Digg This!) Links to your Wordpress BlogHow-To Geek SoftwareMake a Backup Copy of your Production Wordpress Blog on UbuntuOops! Sorry About the Feed Errors TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips CloudBerry Online Backup 1.5 for Windows Home Server Snagit 10 VMware Workstation 7 Acronis Online Backup Windows Firewall with Advanced Security – How To Guides Sculptris 1.0, 3D Drawing app AceStock, a Tiny Desktop Quote Monitor Gmail Button Addon (Firefox) Hyperwords addon (Firefox) Backup Outlook 2010

  Read the article

• Installing SharePoint 2010 and PowerPivot for SharePoint on Windows 7

  - by smisner

  Many people like me want (or need) to do their business intelligence development work on a laptop. As someone who frequently speaks at various events or teaches classes on all subjects related to the Microsoft business intelligence stack, I need a way to run multiple server products on my laptop with reasonable performance. Once upon a time, that requirement meant only that I had to load the current version of SQL Server and the client tools of choice. In today's post, I'll review my latest experience with trying to make the newly released Microsoft BI products work with a Windows 7 operating system. The entrance of Microsoft Office SharePoint Server 2007 into the BI stack complicated matters and I started using Virtual Server to establish a "suitable" environment. As part of the team that delivered a lot of education as part of the Yukon pre-launch activities (that would be SQL Server 2005 for the uninitiated), I was working with four - yes, four - virtual servers. That was a pretty brutal workload for a 2GB laptop, which worked if I was very, very careful. It could also be a finicky and unreliable configuration as I learned to my dismay at one TechEd session several years ago when I had to reboot a very carefully cached set of servers just minutes before my session started. Although it worked, it came back to life very, very slowly much to the displeasure of the audience. They couldn't possibly have been less pleased than me. At that moment, I resolved to get the beefiest environment I could afford and consolidate to a single virtual server. Enter the 4GB 64-bit laptop to preserve my sanity and my livelihood. Likewise, for SQL Server 2008, I managed to keep everything within a single virtual server and I could function reasonably well with this approach. Now we have SQL Server 2008 R2 plus Office SharePoint Server 2010. That means a 64-bit operating system. Period. That means no more Virtual Server. That means I must use Hyper-V or another alternative. I've heard alternatives exist, but my few dabbles in this area did not yield positive results. It might have been just me having issues rather than any failure of those technologies to adequately support the requirements. My first run at working with the new BI stack configuration was to set up a 64-bit 4GB laptop with a dual-boot to run Windows Server 2008 R2 with Hyper-V. However, I was generally not happy with running Windows Server 2008 R2 on my laptop. For one, I couldn't put it into sleep mode, which is helpful if I want to prepare for a presentation beforehand and then walk to the podium without the need to hold my laptop in its open state along the way (my strategy at the TechEd session long, long ago). Secondly, it was finicky with projectors. I had issues from time to time and while I always eventually got it to work, I didn't appreciate those nerve-wracking moments wondering whether this would be the time that it wouldn't work. Somewhere along the way, I learned that it was possible to load SharePoint 2010 in a Windows 7 which piqued my interest. I had just acquired a new laptop running Windows 7 64-bit, and thought surely running the BI stack natively on my laptop must be better than running Hyper-V. (I have not tried booting to Hyper-V VHD yet, but that's on my list of things to try so the jury of one is still out on this approach.) Recently, I had to build up a server with the RTM versions of SQL Server 2008 R2 and Sharepoint Server 2010 and decided to follow suit on my Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit laptop. The process is slightly different, but I'm happy to report that it IS possible, although I had some fits and starts along the way. DISCLAIMER: These products are NOT intended to be run in production mode on the Windows 7 operating system. The configuration described in this post is strictly for development or learning purposes and not supported by Microsoft. If you have trouble, you will NOT get help from them. I might be able to help, but I provide no guarantees of my ability or availablity to help. I won't provide the step-by-step instructions in this post as there are other resources that provide these details, but I will provide an overview of my approach, point you to the relevant resources, describe some of the problems I encountered, and explain how I addressed those problems to achieve my desired goal. Because my goal was not simply to set up SharePoint Server 2010 on my laptop, but specifically PowerPivot for SharePoint, I started out by referring to the installation instructions at the PowerPiovt-Info site, but mainly to confirm that I was performing steps in the proper sequence. I didn't perform the steps in Part 1 because those steps are applicable only to a server operating system which I am not running on my laptop. Then, the instructions in Part 2, won't work exactly as written for the same reason. Instead, I followed the instructions on MSDN, Setting Up the Development Environment for SharePoint 2010 on Windows Vista, Windows 7, and Windows Server 2008. In general, I found the following differences in installation steps from the steps at PowerPivot-Info: You must copy the SharePoint installation media to the local drive so that you can edit the config.xml to allow installation on a Windows client. You also have to manually install the prerequisites. The instructions provides links to each item that you must manually install and provides a command-line instruction to execute which enables required Windows features. I will digress for a moment to save you some grief in the sequence of steps to perform. I discovered later that a missing step in the MSDN instructions is to install the November CTP Reporting Services add-in for SharePoint. When I went to test my SharePoint site (I believe I tested after I had a successful PowerPivot installation), I ran into the following error: Could not load file or assembly 'RSSharePointSoapProxy, Version=10.0.0.0, Culture=neutral, PublicKeyToken=89845dcd8080cc91' or one of its dependencies. The system cannot find the file specified. I was rather surprised that Reporting Services was required. Then I found an article by Alan le Marquand, Working Together: SQL Server 2008 R2 Reporting Services Integration in SharePoint 2010,that instructed readers to install the November add-in. My first reaction was, "Really?!?" But I confirmed it in another TechNet article on hardware and software requirements for SharePoint Server 2010. It doesn't refer explicitly to the November CTP but following the link took me there. (Interestingly, I retested today and there's no longer any reference to the November CTP. Here's the link to download the latest and greatest Reporting Services Add-in for SharePoint Technologies 2010.) You don't need to download the add-in anymore if you're doing a regular server-based installation of SharePoint because it installs as part of the prerequisites automatically. When it was time to start the installation of SharePoint, I deviated from the MSDN instructions and from the PowerPivot-Info instructions: On the Choose the installation you want page of the installation wizard, I chose Server Farm. On the Server Type page, I chose Complete. At the end of the installation, I did not run the configuration wizard. Returning to the PowerPivot-Info instructions, I tried to follow the instructions in Part 3 which describe installing SQL Server 2008 R2 with the PowerPivot option. These instructions tell you to choose the New Server option on the Setup Role page where you add PowerPivot for SharePoint. However, I ran into problems with this approach and got installation errors at the end. It wasn't until much later as I was investigating an error that I encountered Dave Wickert's post that installing PowerPivot for SharePoint on Windows 7 is unsupported. Uh oh. But he did want to hear about it if anyone succeeded, so I decided to take the plunge. Perseverance paid off, and I can happily inform Dave that it does work so far. I haven't tested absolutely everything with PowerPivot for SharePoint but have successfully deployed a workbook and viewed the PowerPivot Management Dashboard. I have not yet tested the data refresh feature, but I have installed. Continue reading to see how I accomplished my objective. I unintalled SQL Server 2008 R2 and started again. I had different problems which I don't recollect now. However, I uninstalled again and approached installation from a different angle and my next attempt succeeded. The downside of this approach is that you must do all of the things yourself that are done automatically when you install PowerPivot as a new server. Here are the steps that I followed: Install SQL Server 2008 R2 to get a database engine instance installed. Run the SharePoint configuration wizard to set up the SharePoint databases. In Central Administration, create a Web application using classic mode authentication as per a TechNet article on PowerPivot Authentication and Authorization. Then I followed the steps I found at How to: Install PowerPivot for SharePoint on an Existing SharePoint Server. Especially important to note - you must launch setup by using Run as administrator. I did not have to manually deploy the PowerPivot solution as the instructions specify, but it's good to know about this step because it tells you where to look in Central Administration to confirm a successful deployment. I did spot some incorrect steps in the instructions (at the time of this writing) in How To: Configure Stored Credentials for PowerPivot Data Refresh. Specifically, in the section entitled Step 1: Create a target application and set the credentials, both steps 10 and 12 are incorrect. They tell you to provide an actual Windows user name and password on the page where you are simply defining the prompts for your application in the Secure Store Service. To add the Windows user name and password that you want to associate with the application - after you have successfully created the target application - you select the target application and then click Set credentials in the ribbon. Lastly, I followed the instructions at How to: Install Office Data Connectivity Components on a PowerPivot server. However, I have yet to test this in my current environment. I did have several stops and starts throughout this process and edited those out to spare you from reading non-essential information. I believe the explanation I have provided here accurately reflect the steps I followed to produce a working configuration. If you follow these steps and get a different result, please let me know so that together we can work through the issue and correct these instructions. I'm sure there are many other folks in the Microsoft BI community that will appreciate the ability to set up the BI stack in a Windows 7 environment for development or learning purposes. Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

  Read the article

• Making a Statement: How to retrieve the T-SQL statement that caused an event

  - by extended_events

  If you’ve done any troubleshooting of T-SQL, you know that sooner or later, probably sooner, you’re going to want to take a look at the actual statements you’re dealing with. In extended events we offer an action (See the BOL topic that covers Extended Events Objects for a description of actions) named sql_text that seems like it is just the ticket. Well…not always – sounds like a good reason for a blog post. When is a statement not THE statement? The sql_text action returns the same information that is returned from DBCC INPUTBUFFER, which may or may not be what you want. For example, if you execute a stored procedure, the sql_text action will return something along the lines of “EXEC sp_notwhatiwanted” assuming that is the statement you sent from the client. Often times folks would like something more specific, like the actual statements that are being run from within the stored procedure or batch. Enter the stack Extended events offers another action, this one with the descriptive name of tsql_stack, that includes the sql_handle and offset information about the statements being run when an event occurs. With the sql_handle and offset values you can retrieve the specific statement you seek using the DMV dm_exec_sql_statement. The BOL topic for dm_exec_sql_statement provides an example for how to extract this information, so I’ll cover the gymnastics required to get the sql_handle and offset values out of the tsql_stack data collected by the action. I’m the first to admit that this isn’t pretty, but this is what we have in SQL Server 2008 and 2008 R2. We will be making it easier to get statement level information in the next major release of SQL Server. The sample code For this example I have a stored procedure that includes multiple statements and I have a need to differentiate between those two statements in my tracing. I’m going to track two events: module_end tracks the completion of the stored procedure execution and sp_statement_completed tracks the execution of each statement within a stored procedure. I’m adding the tsql_stack events (since that’s the topic of this post) and the sql_text action for comparison sake. (If you have questions about creating event sessions, check out Pedro’s post Introduction to Extended Events.) USE AdventureWorks2008GO -- Test SPCREATE PROCEDURE sp_multiple_statementsASSELECT 'This is the first statement'SELECT 'this is the second statement'GO -- Create a session to look at the spCREATE EVENT SESSION track_sprocs ON SERVERADD EVENT sqlserver.module_end (ACTION (sqlserver.tsql_stack, sqlserver.sql_text)),ADD EVENT sqlserver.sp_statement_completed (ACTION (sqlserver.tsql_stack, sqlserver.sql_text))ADD TARGET package0.ring_bufferWITH (MAX_DISPATCH_LATENCY = 1 SECONDS)GO -- Start the sessionALTER EVENT SESSION track_sprocs ON SERVERSTATE = STARTGO -- Run the test procedureEXEC sp_multiple_statementsGO -- Stop collection of events but maintain ring bufferALTER EVENT SESSION track_sprocs ON SERVERDROP EVENT sqlserver.module_end,DROP EVENT sqlserver.sp_statement_completedGO Aside: Altering the session to drop the events is a neat little trick that allows me to stop collection of events while keeping in-memory targets such as the ring buffer available for use. If you stop the session the in-memory target data is lost. Now that we’ve collected some events related to running the stored procedure, we need to do some processing of the data. I’m going to do this in multiple steps using temporary tables so you can see what’s going on; kind of like having to “show your work” on a math test. The first step is to just cast the target data into XML so I can work with it. After that you can pull out the interesting columns, for our purposes I’m going to limit the output to just the event name, object name, stack and sql text. You can see that I’ve don a second CAST, this time of the tsql_stack column, so that I can further process this data. -- Store the XML data to a temp tableSELECT CAST( t.target_data AS XML) xml_dataINTO #xml_event_dataFROM sys.dm_xe_sessions s INNER JOIN sys.dm_xe_session_targets t    ON s.address = t.event_session_addressWHERE s.name = 'track_sprocs' SELECT * FROM #xml_event_data -- Parse the column data out of the XML blockSELECT    event_xml.value('(./@name)', 'varchar(100)') as [event_name],    event_xml.value('(./data[@name="object_name"]/value)[1]', 'varchar(255)') as [object_name],    CAST(event_xml.value('(./action[@name="tsql_stack"]/value)[1]','varchar(MAX)') as XML) as [stack_xml],    event_xml.value('(./action[@name="sql_text"]/value)[1]', 'varchar(max)') as [sql_text]INTO #event_dataFROM #xml_event_data    CROSS APPLY xml_data.nodes('//event') n (event_xml) SELECT * FROM #event_data event_name object_name stack_xml sql_text sp_statement_completed NULL <frame level="1" handle="0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000" line="4" offsetStart="94" offsetEnd="172" /><frame level="2" handle="0x01000500CF3F0331B05EC084000000000000000000000000" line="1" offsetStart="0" offsetEnd="-1" /> EXEC sp_multiple_statements sp_statement_completed NULL <frame level="1" handle="0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000" line="6" offsetStart="174" offsetEnd="-1" /><frame level="2" handle="0x01000500CF3F0331B05EC084000000000000000000000000" line="1" offsetStart="0" offsetEnd="-1" /> EXEC sp_multiple_statements module_end sp_multiple_statements <frame level="1" handle="0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000" line="0" offsetStart="0" offsetEnd="0" /><frame level="2" handle="0x01000500CF3F0331B05EC084000000000000000000000000" line="1" offsetStart="0" offsetEnd="-1" /> EXEC sp_multiple_statements After parsing the columns it’s easier to see what is recorded. You can see that I got back two sp_statement_completed events, which makes sense given the test procedure I’m running, and I got back a single module_end for the entire statement. As described, the sql_text isn’t telling me what I really want to know for the first two events so a little extra effort is required. -- Parse the tsql stack information into columnsSELECT    event_name,    object_name,    frame_xml.value('(./@level)', 'int') as [frame_level],    frame_xml.value('(./@handle)', 'varchar(MAX)') as [sql_handle],    frame_xml.value('(./@offsetStart)', 'int') as [offset_start],    frame_xml.value('(./@offsetEnd)', 'int') as [offset_end]INTO #stack_data    FROM #event_data        CROSS APPLY    stack_xml.nodes('//frame') n (frame_xml)    SELECT * from #stack_data event_name object_name frame_level sql_handle offset_start offset_end sp_statement_completed NULL 1 0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000 94 172 sp_statement_completed NULL 2 0x01000500CF3F0331B05EC084000000000000000000000000 0 -1 sp_statement_completed NULL 1 0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000 174 -1 sp_statement_completed NULL 2 0x01000500CF3F0331B05EC084000000000000000000000000 0 -1 module_end sp_multiple_statements 1 0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000 0 0 module_end sp_multiple_statements 2 0x01000500CF3F0331B05EC084000000000000000000000000 0 -1 Parsing out the stack information doubles the fun and I get two rows for each event. If you examine the stack from the previous table, you can see that each stack has two frames and my query is parsing each event into frames, so this is expected. There is nothing magic about the two frames, that’s just how many I get for this example, it could be fewer or more depending on your statements. The key point here is that I now have a sql_handle and the offset values for those handles, so I can use dm_exec_sql_statement to get the actual statement. Just a reminder, this DMV can only return what is in the cache – if you have old data it’s possible your statements have been ejected from the cache. “Old” is a relative term when talking about caches and can be impacted by server load and how often your statement is actually used. As with most things in life, your mileage may vary. SELECT    qs.*,     SUBSTRING(st.text, (qs.offset_start/2)+1,         ((CASE qs.offset_end          WHEN -1 THEN DATALENGTH(st.text)         ELSE qs.offset_end         END - qs.offset_start)/2) + 1) AS statement_textFROM #stack_data AS qsCROSS APPLY sys.dm_exec_sql_text(CONVERT(varbinary(max),sql_handle,1)) AS st event_name object_name frame_level sql_handle offset_start offset_end statement_text sp_statement_completed NULL 1 0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000 94 172 SELECT 'This is the first statement' sp_statement_completed NULL 1 0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000 174 -1 SELECT 'this is the second statement' module_end sp_multiple_statements 1 0x03000500D0057C1403B79600669D00000100000000000000 0 0 C Now that looks more like what we were after, the statement_text field is showing the actual statement being run when the sp_statement_completed event occurs. You’ll notice that it’s back down to one row per event, what happened to frame 2? The short answer is, “I don’t know.” In SQL Server 2008 nothing is returned from dm_exec_sql_statement for the second frame and I believe this to be a bug; this behavior has changed in the next major release and I see the actual statement run from the client in frame 2. (In other words I see the same statement that is returned by the sql_text action  or DBCC INPUTBUFFER) There is also something odd going on with frame 1 returned from the module_end event; you can see that the offset values are both 0 and only the first letter of the statement is returned. It seems like the offset_end should actually be –1 in this case and I’m not sure why it’s not returning this correctly. This behavior is being investigated and will hopefully be corrected in the next major version. You can workaround this final oddity by ignoring the offsets and just returning the entire cached statement. SELECT    event_name,    sql_handle,    ts.textFROM #stack_data    CROSS APPLY sys.dm_exec_sql_text(CONVERT(varbinary(max),sql_handle,1)) as ts event_name sql_handle text sp_statement_completed 0x0300070025999F11776BAF006F9D00000100000000000000 CREATE PROCEDURE sp_multiple_statements AS SELECT 'This is the first statement' SELECT 'this is the second statement' sp_statement_completed 0x0300070025999F11776BAF006F9D00000100000000000000 CREATE PROCEDURE sp_multiple_statements AS SELECT 'This is the first statement' SELECT 'this is the second statement' module_end 0x0300070025999F11776BAF006F9D00000100000000000000 CREATE PROCEDURE sp_multiple_statements AS SELECT 'This is the first statement' SELECT 'this is the second statement' Obviously this gives more than you want for the sp_statement_completed events, but it’s the right information for module_end. I leave it to you to determine when this information is needed and use the workaround when appropriate. Aside: You might think it’s odd that I’m showing apparent bugs with my samples, but you’re going to see this behavior if you use this method, so you need to know about it.I’m all about transparency. Happy Eventing- Mike Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

  Read the article

• Introduction to Extended Events

  - by extended_events

  For those fighting with all the Extended Event terminology, let's step back and have a small overall Introduction to Extended Events. This post will give you a simplified end to end view through some of the elements in Extended Events. Before we start, let’s review the first Extented Events that we are going to use: -          Events: The SQL Server code is populated with event calls that, by default, are disabled. Adding events to a session enables those event calls. Once enabled, they will execute the set of functionality defined by the session. -          Target: This is an Extended Event Object that can be used to log event information. Also it is important to understand the following Extended Event concept: -          Session: Server Object created by the user that defines functionality to be executed every time a set of events happen.   It’s time to write a small “Hello World” using Extended Events. This will help understand the above terms. We will use: -          Event sqlserver. error_reported: This event gets fired every time that an error happens in the server. -          Target package0.asynchronous_file_target: This target stores the event data in disk. -          Session: We will create a session that sends all the error_reported events to the ring buffer. Before we get started, a quick note: Don’t run this script in a production environment. Even though, we are going just going to be raise very low severity user errors, we don't want to introduce noise in our servers. -- TRIES TO ELIMINATE PREVIOUS SESSIONS BEGIN TRY       DROP EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER END TRY BEGIN CATCH END CATCH GO   -- CREATES THE SESSION CREATE EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER ADD EVENT sqlserver.error_reported ADD TARGET package0.asynchronous_file_target -- CONFIGURES THE FILE TARGET (set filename = 'c:\temp\data1.xel' , metadatafile = 'c:\temp\data1.xem') GO   -- STARTS THE SESSION ALTER EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER STATE = START GO   -- GENERATES AN ERROR RAISERROR (N'HELLO WORLD', -- Message text.            1, -- Severity,            1, 7, 3, N'abcde'); -- Other parameters GO   -- STOPS LISTENING FOR THE EVENT ALTER EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER STATE = STOP GO   -- REMOVES THE EVENT SESSION FROM THE SERVER DROP EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER GO -- REMOVES THE EVENT SESSION FROM THE SERVER select CAST(event_data as XML) as event_data from sys.fn_xe_file_target_read_file ('c:\temp\data1*.xel','c:\temp\data1*.xem', null, null) This query will output the event data with our first hello world in the Extended Event format: <event name="error_reported" package="sqlserver" id="100" version="1" timestamp="2010-02-27T03:08:04.210Z"><data name="error"><value>50000</value><text /></data><data name="severity"><value>1</value><text /></data><data name="state"><value>1</value><text /></data><data name="user_defined"><value>true</value><text /></data><data name="message"><value>HELLO WORLD</value><text /></data></event> More on parsing event data in this post: Reading event data 101 Now let's move that lets move on to the other three Extended Event objects: -          Actions. This Extended Objects actions get executed before events are published (stored in buffers to be transferred to the targets). Currently they are used additional data (like the TSQL Statement related to an event, the session, the user) or generate a mini dump.   -          Predicates: Predicates express are logical expressions that specify what predicates to fire (E.g. only listen to errors with a severity greater than 16). This are composed of two Extended Objects: o   Predicate comparators: Defines an operator for a pair of values. Examples: §  Severity > 16 §  error_message = ‘Hello World!!’ o   Predicate sources: These are values that can be also used by the predicates. They are generic data that isn’t usually provided in the event (similar to the actions). §  Sqlserver.username = ‘Tintin’ As logical expressions they can be combined using logical operators (and, or, not).  Note: This pair always has to be first an event field or predicate source and then a value         Let’s do another small Example. We will trigger errors but we will use the ones that have severity >= 10 and the error message != ‘filter’. To verify this we will use the action sql_text that will attach the sql statement to the event data: -- TRIES TO ELIMINATE PREVIOUS SESSIONS BEGIN TRY       DROP EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER END TRY BEGIN CATCH END CATCH GO   -- CREATES THE SESSION CREATE EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER ADD EVENT sqlserver.error_reported       (ACTION (sqlserver.sql_text) WHERE severity = 2 and (not (message = 'filter'))) ADD TARGET package0.asynchronous_file_target -- CONFIGURES THE FILE TARGET (set filename = 'c:\temp\data2.xel' , metadatafile = 'c:\temp\data2.xem') GO   -- STARTS THE SESSION ALTER EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER STATE = START GO   -- THIS EVENT WILL BE FILTERED BECAUSE SEVERITY != 2 RAISERROR (N'PUBLISH', 1, 1, 7, 3, N'abcde'); GO -- THIS EVENT WILL BE FILTERED BECAUSE MESSAGE = 'FILTER' RAISERROR (N'FILTER', 2, 1, 7, 3, N'abcde'); GO -- THIS ERROR WILL BE PUBLISHED RAISERROR (N'PUBLISH', 2, 1, 7, 3, N'abcde'); GO   -- STOPS LISTENING FOR THE EVENT ALTER EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER STATE = STOP GO   -- REMOVES THE EVENT SESSION FROM THE SERVER DROP EVENT SESSION test_session ON SERVER GO -- REMOVES THE EVENT SESSION FROM THE SERVER select CAST(event_data as XML) as event_data from sys.fn_xe_file_target_read_file ('c:\temp\data2*.xel','c:\temp\data2*.xem', null, null)   This last statement will output one event with the following data: <event name="error_reported" package="sqlserver" id="100" version="1" timestamp="2010-03-05T23:15:05.481Z">   <data name="error">     <value>50000</value>     <text />   </data>   <data name="severity">     <value>2</value>     <text />   </data>   <data name="state">     <value>1</value>     <text />   </data>   <data name="user_defined">     <value>true</value>     <text />   </data>   <data name="message">     <value>PUBLISH</value>     <text />   </data>   <action name="sql_text" package="sqlserver">     <value>-- THIS ERROR WILL BE PUBLISHED RAISERROR (N'PUBLISH', 2, 1, 7, 3, N'abcde'); </value>     <text />   </action> </event> If you see more events, check if you have deleted previous event files. If so, please run   -- Deletes previous event files EXEC SP_CONFIGURE GO EXEC SP_CONFIGURE 'xp_cmdshell', 1 GO RECONFIGURE GO XP_CMDSHELL 'del c:\temp\data*.xe*' GO   or delete them manually.   More Info on Events: Extended Event Events More Info on Targets: Extended Event Targets More Info on Sessions: Extended Event Sessions More Info on Actions: Extended Event Actions More Info on Predicates: Extended Event Predicates Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

  Read the article

• Laissez les bon temps rouler! (Microsoft BI Conference 2010)

  - by smisner

  "Laissez les bons temps rouler" is a Cajun phrase that I heard frequently when I lived in New Orleans in the mid-1990s. It means "Let the good times roll!" and encapsulates a feeling of happy expectation. As I met with many of my peers and new acquaintances at the Microsoft BI Conference last week, this phrase kept running through my mind as people spoke about their plans in their respective businesses, the benefits and opportunities that the recent releases in the BI stack are providing, and their expectations about the future of the BI stack. Notwithstanding some jabs here and there to point out the platform is neither perfect now nor will be anytime soon (along with admissions that the competitors are also not perfect), and notwithstanding several missteps by the event organizers (which I don't care to enumerate), the overarching mood at the conference was positive. It was a refreshing change from the doom and gloom hovering over several conferences that I attended in 2009. Although many people expect economic hardships to continue over the coming year or so, everyone I know in the BI field is busier than ever and expects to stay busy for quite a while. Self-Service BI Self-service was definitely a theme of the BI conference. In the keynote, Ted Kummert opened with a look back to a fairy tale vision of self-service BI that he told in 2008. At that time, the fairy tale future was a time when "every end user was able to use BI technologies within their job in order to move forward more effectively" and transitioned to the present time in which SQL Server 2008 R2, Office 2010, and SharePoint 2010 are available to deliver managed self-service BI. This set of technologies is presumably poised to address the needs of the 80% of users that Kummert said do not use BI today. He proceeded to outline a series of activities that users ought to be able to do themselves--from simple changes to a report like formatting or an addtional data visualization to integration of an additional data source. The keynote then continued with a series of demonstrations of both current and future technology in support of self-service BI. Some highlights that interested me: PowerPivot, of course, is the flagship product for self-service BI in the Microsoft BI stack. In the TechEd keynote, which was open to the BI conference attendees, Amir Netz (twitter) impressed the audience by demonstrating interactivity with a workbook containing 100 million rows. He upped the ante at the BI keynote with his demonstration of a future-state PowerPivot workbook containing over 2 billion records. It's important to note that this volume of data is being processed by a server engine, and not in the PowerPivot client engine. (Yes, I think it's impressive, but none of my clients are typically wrangling with 2 billion records at a time. Maybe they're thinking too small. This ability to work quickly with large data sets has greater implications for BI solutions than for self-service BI, in my opinion.) Amir also demonstrated KPIs for the future PowerPivot, which appeared to be easier to implement than in any other Microsoft product that supports KPIs, apart from simple KPIs in SharePoint. (My initial reaction is that we have one more place to build KPIs. Great. It's confusing enough. I haven't seen how well those KPIs integrate with other BI tools, which will be important for adoption.) One more PowerPivot feature that Amir showed was a graphical display of the lineage for calculations. (This is hugely practical, especially if you build up calculations incrementally. You can more easily follow the logic from calculation to calculation. Furthermore, if you need to make a change to one calculation, you can assess the impact on other calculations.) Another product demonstration will be available within the next 30 days--Pivot for Reporting Services. If you haven't seen this technology yet, check it out at www.getpivot.com. (It definitely has a wow factor, but I'm skeptical about its practicality. However, I'm looking forward to trying it out with data that I understand.) Michael Tejedor (twitter) demonstrated a feature that I think is really interesting and not emphasized nearly enough--overshadowed by PowerPivot, no doubt. That feature is the Microsoft Business Intelligence Indexing Connector, which enables search of the content of Excel workbooks and Reporting Services reports. (This capability existed in MOSS 2007, but was more cumbersome to implement. The search results in SharePoint 2010 are not only cooler, but more useful by describing whether the content is found in a table or a chart, for example.) This may yet be the dawning of the age of self-service BI - a phrase I've heard repeated from time to time over the last decade - but I think BI professionals are likely to stay busy for a long while, and need not start looking for a new line of work. Kummert repeatedly referenced strategic BI solutions in contrast to self-service BI to emphasize that self-service BI is not a replacement for the services that BI professionals provide. After all, self-service BI does not appear magically on user desktops (or whatever device they want to use). A supporting infrastructure is necessary, and grows in complexity in proportion to the need to simplify BI for users. It's one thing to hear the party line touted by Microsoft employees at the BI keynote, but it's another to hear from the people who are responsible for implementing and supporting it within an organization. Rob Collie (blog | twitter), Kasper de Jonge (blog | twitter), Vidas Matelis (site | twitter), and I were invited to join Andrew Brust (blog | twitter) as he led a Birds of a Feather session at TechEd entitled "PowerPivot: Is It the BI Deal-Changer for Developers and IT Pros?" I would single out the prevailing concern in this session as the issue of control. On one side of this issue were those who were concerned that they would lose control once PowerPivot is implemented. On the other side were those who believed that data should be freely accessible to users in PowerPivot, and even acknowledgment that users would get the data they want even if it meant they would have to manually enter into a workbook to have it ready for analysis. For another viewpoint on how PowerPivot played out at the conference, see Rob Collie's observations. Collaborative BI I have been intrigued by the notion of collaborative BI for a very long time. Before I discovered BI, I was a Lotus Notes developer and later a manager of developers, working in a software company that enabled collaboration in the legal industry. Not only did I help create collaborative systems for our clients, I created a complete project management from the ground up to collaboratively manage our custom development work. In that case, collaboration involved my team, my client contacts, and me. I was also able to produce my own BI from that system as well, but didn't know that's what I was doing at the time. Only in recent years has SharePoint begun to catch up with the capabilities that I had with Lotus Notes more than a decade ago. Eventually, I had the opportunity at that job to formally investigate BI as another product offering for our software, and the rest - as they say - is history. I built my first data warehouse with Scott Cameron (who has also ventured into the authoring world by writing Analysis Services 2008 Step by Step and was at the BI Conference last week where I got to reminisce with him for a bit) and that began a career that I never imagined at the time. Fast forward to 2010, and I'm still lauding the virtues of collaborative BI, if only the tools will catch up to my vision! Thus, I was anxious to see what Donald Farmer (blog | twitter) and Rita Sallam of Gartner had to say on the subject in their session "Collaborative Decision Making." As I suspected, the tools aren't quite there yet, but the vendors are moving in the right direction. One thing I liked about this session was a non-Microsoft perspective of the state of the industry with regard to collaborative BI. In addition, this session included a better demonstration of SharePoint collaborative BI capabilities than appeared in the BI keynote. Check out the video in the link to the session to see the demonstration. One of the use cases that was demonstrated was linking from information to a person, because, as Donald put it, "People don't trust data, they trust people." The Microsoft BI Stack in General A question I hear all the time from students when I'm teaching is how to know what tools to use when there is overlap between products in the BI stack. I've never taken the time to codify my thoughts on the subject, but saw that my friend Dan Bulos provided good insight on this topic from a variety of perspectives in his session, "So Many BI Tools, So Little Time." I thought one of his best points was that ideally you should be able to design in your tool of choice, and then deploy to your tool of choice. Unfortunately, the ideal is yet to become real across the platform. The closest we come is with the RDL in Reporting Services which can be produced from two different tools (Report Builder or Business Intelligence Development Studio's Report Designer), manually, or by a third-party or custom application. I have touted the idea for years (and publicly said so about 5 years ago) that eventually more products would be RDL producers or consumers, but we aren't there yet. Maybe in another 5 years. Another interesting session that covered the BI stack against a backdrop of competitive products was delivered by Andrew Brust. Andrew did a marvelous job of consolidating a lot of information in a way that clearly communicated how various vendors' offerings compared to the Microsoft BI stack. He also made a particularly compelling argument about how the existence of an ecosystem around the Microsoft BI stack provided innovation and opportunities lacking for other vendors. Check out his presentation, "How Does the Microsoft BI Stack...Stack Up?" Expo Hall I had planned to spend more time in the Expo Hall to see who was doing new things with the BI stack, but didn't manage to get very far. Each time I set out on an exploratory mission, I got caught up in some fascinating conversations with one or more of my peers. I find interacting with people that I meet at conferences just as important as attending sessions to learn something new. There were a couple of items that really caught me eye, however, that I'll share here. Pragmatic Works. Whether you develop SSIS packages, build SSAS cubes, or author SSRS reports (or all of the above), you really must take a look at BI Documenter. Brian Knight (twitter) walked me through the key features, and I must say I was impressed. Once you've seen what this product can do, you won't want to document your BI projects any other way. You can download a free single-user database edition, or choose from more feature-rich standard or professional editions. Microsoft Press ebooks. I also stopped by the O'Reilly Media booth to meet some folks that one of my acquisitions editors at Microsoft Press recommended. In case you haven't heard, Microsoft Press has partnered with O'Reilly Media for distribution and publishing. Apart from my interest in learning more about O'Reilly Media as an author, an advertisement in their booth caught me eye which I think is a really great move. When you buy Microsoft Press ebooks through the O'Reilly web site, you can receive it in any (or all) of the following formats where possible: PDF, epub, .mobi for Kindle and .apk for Android. You also have lifetime DRM-free access to the ebooks. As someone who is an avid collector of books, I fnd myself running out of room for storage. In addition, I travel a lot, and it's hard to lug my reference library with me. Today's e-reader options make the move to digital books a more viable way to grow my library. Having a variety of formats means I am not limited to a single device, and lifetime access means I don't have to worry about keeping track of where I've stored my files. Because the e-books are DRM-free, I can copy and paste when I'm compiling notes, and I can print pages when necessary. That's a winning combination in my mind! Overall, I was pleased with the BI conference. There were many more sessions that I couldn't attend, either because the room was full when I got there or there were multiple sessions running concurrently that I wanted to see. Fortunately, many of the sessions are accessible for viewing online at http://www.msteched.com/2010/NorthAmerica along with the TechEd sessions. You can spot the BI sessions by the yellow skyline on the title slide of the presentation as shown below. Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

  Read the article

• Laissez les bon temps rouler! (Microsoft BI Conference 2010)

  - by smisner

  Laissez les bons temps rouler" is a Cajun phrase that I heard frequently when I lived in New Orleans in the mid-1990s. It means "Let the good times roll!" and encapsulates a feeling of happy expectation. As I met with many of my peers and new acquaintances at the Microsoft BI Conference last week, this phrase kept running through my mind as people spoke about their plans in their respective businesses, the benefits and opportunities that the recent releases in the BI stack are providing, and their expectations about the future of the BI stack.Notwithstanding some jabs here and there to point out the platform is neither perfect now nor will be anytime soon (along with admissions that the competitors are also not perfect), and notwithstanding several missteps by the event organizers (which I don't care to enumerate), the overarching mood at the conference was positive. It was a refreshing change from the doom and gloom hovering over several conferences that I attended in 2009. Although many people expect economic hardships to continue over the coming year or so, everyone I know in the BI field is busier than ever and expects to stay busy for quite a while.Self-Service BISelf-service was definitely a theme of the BI conference. In the keynote, Ted Kummert opened with a look back to a fairy tale vision of self-service BI that he told in 2008. At that time, the fairy tale future was a time when "every end user was able to use BI technologies within their job in order to move forward more effectively" and transitioned to the present time in which SQL Server 2008 R2, Office 2010, and SharePoint 2010 are available to deliver managed self-service BI.This set of technologies is presumably poised to address the needs of the 80% of users that Kummert said do not use BI today. He proceeded to outline a series of activities that users ought to be able to do themselves--from simple changes to a report like formatting or an addtional data visualization to integration of an additional data source. The keynote then continued with a series of demonstrations of both current and future technology in support of self-service BI. Some highlights that interested me:PowerPivot, of course, is the flagship product for self-service BI in the Microsoft BI stack. In the TechEd keynote, which was open to the BI conference attendees, Amir Netz (twitter) impressed the audience by demonstrating interactivity with a workbook containing 100 million rows. He upped the ante at the BI keynote with his demonstration of a future-state PowerPivot workbook containing over 2 billion records. It's important to note that this volume of data is being processed by a server engine, and not in the PowerPivot client engine. (Yes, I think it's impressive, but none of my clients are typically wrangling with 2 billion records at a time. Maybe they're thinking too small. This ability to work quickly with large data sets has greater implications for BI solutions than for self-service BI, in my opinion.)Amir also demonstrated KPIs for the future PowerPivot, which appeared to be easier to implement than in any other Microsoft product that supports KPIs, apart from simple KPIs in SharePoint. (My initial reaction is that we have one more place to build KPIs. Great. It's confusing enough. I haven't seen how well those KPIs integrate with other BI tools, which will be important for adoption.)One more PowerPivot feature that Amir showed was a graphical display of the lineage for calculations. (This is hugely practical, especially if you build up calculations incrementally. You can more easily follow the logic from calculation to calculation. Furthermore, if you need to make a change to one calculation, you can assess the impact on other calculations.)Another product demonstration will be available within the next 30 days--Pivot for Reporting Services. If you haven't seen this technology yet, check it out at www.getpivot.com. (It definitely has a wow factor, but I'm skeptical about its practicality. However, I'm looking forward to trying it out with data that I understand.)Michael Tejedor (twitter) demonstrated a feature that I think is really interesting and not emphasized nearly enough--overshadowed by PowerPivot, no doubt. That feature is the Microsoft Business Intelligence Indexing Connector, which enables search of the content of Excel workbooks and Reporting Services reports. (This capability existed in MOSS 2007, but was more cumbersome to implement. The search results in SharePoint 2010 are not only cooler, but more useful by describing whether the content is found in a table or a chart, for example.)This may yet be the dawning of the age of self-service BI - a phrase I've heard repeated from time to time over the last decade - but I think BI professionals are likely to stay busy for a long while, and need not start looking for a new line of work. Kummert repeatedly referenced strategic BI solutions in contrast to self-service BI to emphasize that self-service BI is not a replacement for the services that BI professionals provide. After all, self-service BI does not appear magically on user desktops (or whatever device they want to use). A supporting infrastructure is necessary, and grows in complexity in proportion to the need to simplify BI for users.It's one thing to hear the party line touted by Microsoft employees at the BI keynote, but it's another to hear from the people who are responsible for implementing and supporting it within an organization. Rob Collie (blog | twitter), Kasper de Jonge (blog | twitter), Vidas Matelis (site | twitter), and I were invited to join Andrew Brust (blog | twitter) as he led a Birds of a Feather session at TechEd entitled "PowerPivot: Is It the BI Deal-Changer for Developers and IT Pros?" I would single out the prevailing concern in this session as the issue of control. On one side of this issue were those who were concerned that they would lose control once PowerPivot is implemented. On the other side were those who believed that data should be freely accessible to users in PowerPivot, and even acknowledgment that users would get the data they want even if it meant they would have to manually enter into a workbook to have it ready for analysis. For another viewpoint on how PowerPivot played out at the conference, see Rob Collie's observations.Collaborative BII have been intrigued by the notion of collaborative BI for a very long time. Before I discovered BI, I was a Lotus Notes developer and later a manager of developers, working in a software company that enabled collaboration in the legal industry. Not only did I help create collaborative systems for our clients, I created a complete project management from the ground up to collaboratively manage our custom development work. In that case, collaboration involved my team, my client contacts, and me. I was also able to produce my own BI from that system as well, but didn't know that's what I was doing at the time. Only in recent years has SharePoint begun to catch up with the capabilities that I had with Lotus Notes more than a decade ago. Eventually, I had the opportunity at that job to formally investigate BI as another product offering for our software, and the rest - as they say - is history. I built my first data warehouse with Scott Cameron (who has also ventured into the authoring world by writing Analysis Services 2008 Step by Step and was at the BI Conference last week where I got to reminisce with him for a bit) and that began a career that I never imagined at the time.Fast forward to 2010, and I'm still lauding the virtues of collaborative BI, if only the tools will catch up to my vision! Thus, I was anxious to see what Donald Farmer (blog | twitter) and Rita Sallam of Gartner had to say on the subject in their session "Collaborative Decision Making." As I suspected, the tools aren't quite there yet, but the vendors are moving in the right direction. One thing I liked about this session was a non-Microsoft perspective of the state of the industry with regard to collaborative BI. In addition, this session included a better demonstration of SharePoint collaborative BI capabilities than appeared in the BI keynote. Check out the video in the link to the session to see the demonstration. One of the use cases that was demonstrated was linking from information to a person, because, as Donald put it, "People don't trust data, they trust people."The Microsoft BI Stack in GeneralA question I hear all the time from students when I'm teaching is how to know what tools to use when there is overlap between products in the BI stack. I've never taken the time to codify my thoughts on the subject, but saw that my friend Dan Bulos provided good insight on this topic from a variety of perspectives in his session, "So Many BI Tools, So Little Time." I thought one of his best points was that ideally you should be able to design in your tool of choice, and then deploy to your tool of choice. Unfortunately, the ideal is yet to become real across the platform. The closest we come is with the RDL in Reporting Services which can be produced from two different tools (Report Builder or Business Intelligence Development Studio's Report Designer), manually, or by a third-party or custom application. I have touted the idea for years (and publicly said so about 5 years ago) that eventually more products would be RDL producers or consumers, but we aren't there yet. Maybe in another 5 years.Another interesting session that covered the BI stack against a backdrop of competitive products was delivered by Andrew Brust. Andrew did a marvelous job of consolidating a lot of information in a way that clearly communicated how various vendors' offerings compared to the Microsoft BI stack. He also made a particularly compelling argument about how the existence of an ecosystem around the Microsoft BI stack provided innovation and opportunities lacking for other vendors. Check out his presentation, "How Does the Microsoft BI Stack...Stack Up?"Expo HallI had planned to spend more time in the Expo Hall to see who was doing new things with the BI stack, but didn't manage to get very far. Each time I set out on an exploratory mission, I got caught up in some fascinating conversations with one or more of my peers. I find interacting with people that I meet at conferences just as important as attending sessions to learn something new. There were a couple of items that really caught me eye, however, that I'll share here.Pragmatic Works. Whether you develop SSIS packages, build SSAS cubes, or author SSRS reports (or all of the above), you really must take a look at BI Documenter. Brian Knight (twitter) walked me through the key features, and I must say I was impressed. Once you've seen what this product can do, you won't want to document your BI projects any other way. You can download a free single-user database edition, or choose from more feature-rich standard or professional editions.Microsoft Press ebooks. I also stopped by the O'Reilly Media booth to meet some folks that one of my acquisitions editors at Microsoft Press recommended. In case you haven't heard, Microsoft Press has partnered with O'Reilly Media for distribution and publishing. Apart from my interest in learning more about O'Reilly Media as an author, an advertisement in their booth caught me eye which I think is a really great move. When you buy Microsoft Press ebooks through the O'Reilly web site, you can receive it in any (or all) of the following formats where possible: PDF, epub, .mobi for Kindle and .apk for Android. You also have lifetime DRM-free access to the ebooks. As someone who is an avid collector of books, I fnd myself running out of room for storage. In addition, I travel a lot, and it's hard to lug my reference library with me. Today's e-reader options make the move to digital books a more viable way to grow my library. Having a variety of formats means I am not limited to a single device, and lifetime access means I don't have to worry about keeping track of where I've stored my files. Because the e-books are DRM-free, I can copy and paste when I'm compiling notes, and I can print pages when necessary. That's a winning combination in my mind!Overall, I was pleased with the BI conference. There were many more sessions that I couldn't attend, either because the room was full when I got there or there were multiple sessions running concurrently that I wanted to see. Fortunately, many of the sessions are accessible for viewing online at http://www.msteched.com/2010/NorthAmerica along with the TechEd sessions. You can spot the BI sessions by the yellow skyline on the title slide of the presentation as shown below. Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

  Read the article

• Should I refactor this code?

  - by user156814

  The code is for a view debate page. The code is supposed to determine whether or not to show an add reply form to the viewing user. If the user is logged in, and the user is not the creator of the debate, then check if the user already replied to the debate. If the user did not already reply to the debate then show the form... Otherwise, Check If the user wants to edit their already existing reply by looking in the url for the reply id If any of these tests dont pass, Then I save the reason as an int and pass that to a switch statement in the view. The logic seems easy enough, but my code seems a little sloppy. Here's the code.. (using Kohana V2.3.4) public function view($id = 0) { $debate = ORM::factory('debate')->with('user')->with('category')->find($id); if ($debate->loaded == FALSE) { url::redirect(); } // series of tests to show an add reply form if ($this->logged_in) { // is the viewer the creator? if ($this->user->id != $debate->user->id) { // has the user already replied? if (ORM::factory('reply') ->where(array('debate_id' => $id, 'user_id' => $this->user->id)) ->count_all() == 0) { $form = $errors = array ( 'body' => '', 'choice_id' => '', 'add' => '' ); if ($post = $this->input->post()) { $reply = ORM::factory('reply'); // validate and insert the reply if ($reply->add($post, TRUE)) { url::redirect(url::current()); } $form = arr::overwrite($form, $post->as_array()); $errors = arr::overwrite($errors, $post->errors('reply_errors')); } } // editing a reply? else if (($rid = (int) $this->input->get('edit')) AND ($reply = ORM::factory('reply') ->where(array('debate_id' => $id, 'user_id' => $this->user->id)) ->find($rid))) { $form = $errors = array ( 'body' => '', 'choice_id' => '', 'add' => '' ); // autocomplete the form $form = arr::overwrite($form, $reply->as_array()); if ($post = $this->input->post()) { // validate and insert the reply if ($reply->edit($post, TRUE)) { url::redirect(url::current()); } $form = arr::overwrite($form, $post->as_array()); $errors = arr::overwrite($errors, $post->errors('reply_errors')); } } else { // user already replied $reason = 3; } } else { // user started the debate $reason = 2; } } else { // user is not logged in. $reason = 1; } $limits = Kohana::config('app/debate.limits'); $page = (int) $this->input->get('page', 1); $offset = ($page > 0) ? ($page - 1) * $limits['replies'] : 0; $replies = ORM::factory('reply')->with('user')->with('choice')->where('replies.debate_id', $id); $this->template->title = $debate->topic; $this->template->debate = $debate; $this->template->body = View::factory('debate/view') ->set('debate', $debate) ->set('replies', $replies->find_all($limits['replies'], $offset)) ->set('pagination', Pagination::factory(array ( 'style' => 'digg', 'items_per_page' => $limits['replies'], 'query_string' => 'page', 'auto_hide' => TRUE, 'total_items' => $total = $replies->count_last_query() )) ) ->set('total', $total); // are we showing the add reply form? if (isset($form, $errors)) { $this->template->body->add_reply_form = View::factory('reply/add_reply_form') ->set('debate', $debate) ->set('form', $form) ->set('errors', $errors); } else { $this->template->body->reason = $reason; } } Heres the view, theres some logic in here that determines what message to show the user. <!-- Add Reply Form --> <?php if (isset($add_reply_form)): ?> <?php echo $add_reply_form; ?> <?php else: ?> <?php switch ($reason) { case 1 : // not logged in, show a message $message = 'Add your ' . html::anchor('login?url=' . url::current(TRUE), '<b>vote</b>') . ' to this discussion'; break; case 2 : // started the debate. dont show a message for that. $message = NULL; break; case 3: // already replied, show a message $message = 'You have already replied to this debate'; break; default: // unknown reason. dont show a message $message = NULL; break; } ?> <?php echo app::show_message($message, 'h2'); ?> <?php endif; ?> <!-- End Add Reply Form --> Should I refactor the add reply logic into another function or something.... It all works, it just seems real sloppy. Thanks

  Read the article

• E: Sub-process /usr/bin/dpkg returned an error code (1) seems to be choking on kde-runtime-data version issue

  - by BMT

  12.04 LTS, on a dell mini 10. Install stable until about a week ago. Updated about 1x a week, sometimes more often. Several days ago, I booted up and the system was no longer working correctly. All these symptoms occurred simultaneously: Cannot run (exit on opening, every time): Update manager, software center, ubuntuOne, libreOffice. Vinagre autostarts on boot, no explanation, not set to startup with Ubuntu. Using apt-get to fix install results in the following: maura@pandora:~$ sudo apt-get -f install Reading package lists... Done Building dependency tree Reading state information... Done Correcting dependencies... Done The following package was automatically installed and is no longer required: libtelepathy-farstream2 Use 'apt-get autoremove' to remove them. The following extra packages will be installed: gwibber gwibber-service kde-runtime-data software-center Suggested packages: gwibber-service-flickr gwibber-service-digg gwibber-service-statusnet gwibber-service-foursquare gwibber-service-friendfeed gwibber-service-pingfm gwibber-service-qaiku unity-lens-gwibber The following packages will be upgraded: gwibber gwibber-service kde-runtime-data software-center 4 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 0 to remove and 39 not upgraded. 20 not fully installed or removed. Need to get 0 B/5,682 kB of archives. After this operation, 177 kB of additional disk space will be used. Do you want to continue [Y/n]? debconf: Perl may be unconfigured (Can't locate Scalar/Util.pm in @INC (@INC contains: /etc/perl /usr/local/lib/perl/5.14.2 /usr/local/share/perl/5.14.2 /usr/lib/perl5 /usr/share/perl5 /usr/lib/perl/5.14 /usr/share/perl/5.14 /usr/local/lib/site_perl .) at /usr/lib/perl/5.14/Hash/Util.pm line 9. BEGIN failed--compilation aborted at /usr/lib/perl/5.14/Hash/Util.pm line 9. Compilation failed in require at /usr/share/perl/5.14/fields.pm line 122. Compilation failed in require at /usr/share/perl5/Debconf/Log.pm line 10. Compilation failed in require at (eval 1) line 4. BEGIN failed--compilation aborted at (eval 1) line 4. ) -- aborting (Reading database ... 242672 files and directories currently installed.) Preparing to replace gwibber 3.4.1-0ubuntu1 (using .../gwibber_3.4.2-0ubuntu1_i386.deb) ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: warning: subprocess old pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 dpkg - trying script from the new package instead ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error processing /var/cache/apt/archives/gwibber_3.4.2-0ubuntu1_i386.deb (--unpack): subprocess new pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error while cleaning up: subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 1 Preparing to replace gwibber-service 3.4.1-0ubuntu1 (using .../gwibber-service_3.4.2-0ubuntu1_all.deb) ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: warning: subprocess old pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 dpkg - trying script from the new package instead ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error processing /var/cache/apt/archives/gwibber-service_3.4.2-0ubuntu1_all.deb (--unpack): subprocess new pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error while cleaning up: subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 1 Preparing to replace kde-runtime-data 4:4.8.3-0ubuntu0.1 (using .../kde-runtime-data_4%3a4.8.4-0ubuntu0.1_all.deb) ... Unpacking replacement kde-runtime-data ... dpkg: error processing /var/cache/apt/archives/kde-runtime-data_4%3a4.8.4-0ubuntu0.1_all.deb (--unpack): trying to overwrite '/usr/share/sounds', which is also in package sound-theme-freedesktop 0.7.pristine-2 dpkg-deb (subprocess): subprocess data was killed by signal (Broken pipe) dpkg-deb: error: subprocess <decompress> returned error exit status 2 Preparing to replace python-crypto 2.4.1-1 (using .../python-crypto_2.4.1-1_i386.deb) ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: warning: subprocess old pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 dpkg - trying script from the new package instead ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error processing /var/cache/apt/archives/python-crypto_2.4.1-1_i386.deb (--unpack): subprocess new pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error while cleaning up: subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 1 Preparing to replace software-center 5.2.2.2 (using .../software-center_5.2.4_all.deb) ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: warning: subprocess old pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 dpkg - trying script from the new package instead ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error processing /var/cache/apt/archives/software-center_5.2.4_all.deb (--unpack): subprocess new pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error while cleaning up: subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 1 Preparing to replace xdiagnose 2.5 (using .../archives/xdiagnose_2.5_all.deb) ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: warning: subprocess old pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 dpkg - trying script from the new package instead ... Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pyclean", line 25, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error processing /var/cache/apt/archives/xdiagnose_2.5_all.deb (--unpack): subprocess new pre-removal script returned error exit status 1 No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already Could not find platform dependent libraries <exec_prefix> Consider setting $PYTHONHOME to <prefix>[:<exec_prefix>] Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging Error in sys.excepthook: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport_python_hook.py", line 64, in apport_excepthook from apport.fileutils import likely_packaged, get_recent_crashes File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/__init__.py", line 1, in <module> from apport.report import Report File "/usr/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/apport/report.py", line 16, in <module> from xml.parsers.expat import ExpatError File "/usr/lib/python2.7/xml/parsers/expat.py", line 4, in <module> from pyexpat import * ImportError: No module named pyexpat Original exception was: Traceback (most recent call last): File "/usr/bin/pycompile", line 27, in <module> import logging ImportError: No module named logging dpkg: error while cleaning up: subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 1 Errors were encountered while processing: /var/cache/apt/archives/gwibber_3.4.2-0ubuntu1_i386.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/gwibber-service_3.4.2-0ubuntu1_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/kde-runtime-data_4%3a4.8.4-0ubuntu0.1_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/python-crypto_2.4.1-1_i386.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/software-center_5.2.4_all.deb /var/cache/apt/archives/xdiagnose_2.5_all.deb E: Sub-process /usr/bin/dpkg returned an error code (1) maura@pandora:~$ ^C maura@pandora:~$

  Read the article

• You Might Be a DBA

  - by BuckWoody

  With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

  Read the article

< Previous Page | 9 10 11 12 13