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• Texture coordintes for a polygon and a square texture

  - by user146780

  basically I have a texture. I also have a lets say octagon (or any polygon). I find that octagon's bounding box. Let's say my texture is the size of the octagon's bounding box. How could I figure out the texture coordinates so that the texture maps to it. To clarify, lets say you had a square of tin foil and cut the octagon out you'd be left with a tin foil textured polygon.I'm just not sure how to figure it out for an arbitrary polygon. Thanks

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• where can I find useful VB.NET web development videos ?

  - by ahmed

  Hi , I have tried Asp.Net but they have minimum sets of tutorials and videos. I am looking for a video tutorials like pluralsight training videos which is not free. But I am looking for free training videos for Vb.Net/webforms and SQL "CRUD", Sql DataBinding videos, runtime designing , runtime databinding and all. Thanking you all in advance. And also I am sorry if this is a repeat question. And one thing which I like to say is why do people go first with winforms when someone says vb.net ? Is there any specific way to say for webforms ? OR how should I say it for web development in VB?

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• Python regular expressions assigning to named groups

  - by None

  When you use variables (is that the correct word?) in python regular expressions like this: "blah (?P\w+)" ("value" would be the variable), how could you make the variable's value be the text after "blah " to the end of the line or to a certain character not paying any attention to the actual content of the variable. For example, this is pseudo-code for what I want: >>> import re >>> p = re.compile("say (?P<value>continue_until_text_after_assignment_is_recognized) endsay") >>> m = p.match("say Hello hi yo endsay") >>> m.group('value') 'Hello hi yo' Note: The title is probably not understandable. That is because I didn't know how to say it. Sorry if I caused any confusion.

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• Dynamically register constructor methods in an AbstractFactory at compile time using C++ templates

  - by Horacio

  When implementing a MessageFactory class to instatiate Message objects I used something like: class MessageFactory { public: static Message *create(int type) { switch(type) { case PING_MSG: return new PingMessage(); case PONG_MSG: return new PongMessage(); .... } } This works ok but every time I add a new message I have to add a new XXX_MSG and modify the switch statement. After some research I found a way to dynamically update the MessageFactory at compile time so I can add as many messages as I want without need to modify the MessageFactory itself. This allows for cleaner and easier to maintain code as I do not need to modify three different places to add/remove message classes: #include <stdio.h> #include <stdlib.h> #include <string.h> #include <inttypes.h> class Message { protected: inline Message() {}; public: inline virtual ~Message() { } inline int getMessageType() const { return m_type; } virtual void say() = 0; protected: uint16_t m_type; }; template<int TYPE, typename IMPL> class MessageTmpl: public Message { enum { _MESSAGE_ID = TYPE }; public: static Message* Create() { return new IMPL(); } static const uint16_t MESSAGE_ID; // for registration protected: MessageTmpl() { m_type = MESSAGE_ID; } //use parameter to instanciate template }; typedef Message* (*t_pfFactory)(); class MessageFactory· { public: static uint16_t Register(uint16_t msgid, t_pfFactory factoryMethod) { printf("Registering constructor for msg id %d\n", msgid); m_List[msgid] = factoryMethod; return msgid; } static Message *Create(uint16_t msgid) { return m_List[msgid](); } static t_pfFactory m_List[65536]; }; template <int TYPE, typename IMPL> const uint16_t MessageTmpl<TYPE, IMPL >::MESSAGE_ID = MessageFactory::Register( MessageTmpl<TYPE, IMPL >::_MESSAGE_ID, &MessageTmpl<TYPE, IMPL >::Create); class PingMessage: public MessageTmpl < 10, PingMessage > {· public: PingMessage() {} virtual void say() { printf("Ping\n"); } }; class PongMessage: public MessageTmpl < 11, PongMessage > {· public: PongMessage() {} virtual void say() { printf("Pong\n"); } }; t_pfFactory MessageFactory::m_List[65536]; int main(int argc, char **argv) { Message *msg1; Message *msg2; msg1 = MessageFactory::Create(10); msg1->say(); msg2 = MessageFactory::Create(11); msg2->say(); delete msg1; delete msg2; return 0; } The template here does the magic by registering into the MessageFactory class, all new Message classes (e.g. PingMessage and PongMessage) that subclass from MessageTmpl. This works great and simplifies code maintenance but I still have some questions about this technique: Is this a known technique/pattern? what is the name? I want to search more info about it. I want to make the array for storing new constructors MessageFactory::m_List[65536] a std::map but doing so causes the program to segfault even before reaching main(). Creating an array of 65536 elements is overkill but I have not found a way to make this a dynamic container. For all message classes that are subclasses of MessageTmpl I have to implement the constructor. If not it won't register in the MessageFactory. For example commenting the constructor of the PongMessage: class PongMessage: public MessageTmpl < 11, PongMessage > { public: //PongMessage() {} /* HERE */ virtual void say() { printf("Pong\n"); } }; would result in the PongMessage class not being registered by the MessageFactory and the program would segfault in the MessageFactory::Create(11) line. The question is why the class won't register? Having to add the empty implementation of the 100+ messages I need feels inefficient and unnecessary.

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• Adding Colours (Colors) Together like Paint (Blue + Yellow = Green, etc)

  - by glenstorey

  I'm making an iOS game using cocos2d libraries. Lets say you have two objects that have two separate colours - defined in RGB as Blue: 0,0,255 Yellow: 255,255,0 I want to add blue and yellow to make green. To over complicate things, let's say that the Blue object is bigger than the Yellow object (for the sake of argument let's say that the ratio is 2:1), I'm adding twice as much blue as yellow - how to I calculate this new (light green) colour correctly. I understand LAB * Color Space is useful for this sort of 'natural colour' kind of thing, but I'm not sure how to use it - especially in the context of a cocos2d object which (AFAIK) is limited to using RGB in its colour schemes. I'd really appreciate practical help on how to implement this. Thanks heaps!

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• System("pause"); - Why is it wrong?

  - by Faken

  Here's a question that I don't quite understand: The command, System("pause"); is taught to new programmers as a way to pause a program and wait for a keyboard input to continue. However, it seems to be frowned on by many veteran programmers as something that should not be done in varying degrees. Some people say it is fine to use. Some say it is only to be used when you are locked in your room and no one is watching. Some say that they will personally come to your house and kill you if you use it. I, myself am a new programmer with no formal programming training. I use it because I was taught to use it. What I don't understand is that if it is not something to be used, then why was I taught to use it? Or, on the flip side, is it really not that bad after all? What are your thoughts on this subject?

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• Time Complexities of recursive algorithms

  - by Peter

  Whenever I see a recursive solution, or I write recursive code for a problem, it is really difficult for me to figure out the time complexity, in most of the cases I just say its exponential? How is it exponential actually? How people say it is 2^n, when it is n!, when it is n^n or n^k. I have some questions in mind, let say find all permutations of a string (O(n!)) find all sequences which sum up to k in an array (exponential, how exactly do I calculate). Find all subsets of size k whose sum is 0 (will k come somewhere in complexity , it should come right?). Can any1 help me how to calculate the exact complexity of such questions, I am able to wrote code for them , but its hard understanding the exact time complexity.

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• crossdomain cookie using iframe, how?

  - by vsync

  I searched a lot on this topic, but didn't really found a solid answer to this. I need to set a cookie from any domain (out of my control), lets say "Domain B" to my main domain, lets say "Domain A", and be able to read the cookie also, without exiting Domain B. kinda like Facebook connect for websites, or Snap.com, and others of the sort. how it that done? If I look at lets say http://ajaxian.com/ I see Firecookie shows cookies from many domains being used on that website, and I really wanna know how it's achieved.

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• How to enforce lazy loading of entities on certain conditions

  - by Samuel

  We have an JPA @Entity class (say User) which has a @ManyToOne reference (say Address) loaded using the EAGER option which in turn loads it's own @ManyToOne fields (say Country) in a EAGER fashion. We use the EntityQuery interface to count the list of User's based on a search criteria, during such a load all the @ManyToOne fields which have been marked as EAGER get loaded. But in order to perform a EntityQuery.resultCount(), I actually don't need to load the @ManyToOne fields. Is there a way to prevent loading of the EAGER fields in such cases so that we can avoid the unnecessary joins?

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• How to deal with callback to your UIController after your UIController unloads?

  - by erotsppa

  Suppose your controller is a table view and one of the cells you are going off to do a length task (say download a thumbnail) to be viewed in the cell. Typically you would have the network call do a callback to your controller when it is done downloading. The callback can then reload the table or do some other form of UI update (hides a spinner etc). However, what if the controller is unloaded? Say the user navigated away from this controller and it got released? What happens? Will the callback still work despite the controller now not in memory? Also, if the callback operates on some objects (say the UITableView) what happens when the controller is deallocated? I suppose the controller can release all the objects and the callback would just be calling methods on nil to prevent crash. But is this the convention?

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• MySQLi String comparisons using keys

  - by asdasd

  I have a table with lets say 2 columns. id number, and value. Value is a string (var char). Lets say i have a number x, and a list of numbers a1, a2, a3, a4, a5..... where x is not in the list. All of these numbers correspond to a unique row in the table. I want to know if the string value for x in the table is contained in one of the string values for any table entry for a1, a2, a3, a4... Lets say i have these rows: x, aaa a1, bbb a2, ccc a3, ddd a4, aaabbbcc then i want somehow a confirmation that yes, the value for x is included in one of the values in my list of numbers (a4 contains x). I know i can do this in a couple queries and shove it down some PHP and get my answer. But can i do this with one query?

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• sql unite fields to one result

  - by none

  i know this is a "not build in" or "the way dba thinks" but a programmer aproach , How could one request from 3 fields to get the one that is not null, into a result filed. lets say we have a table with f1,f2,f3,f4,f5. lets say f2,f3,f4 are the same type. lets say the content of the table be tupples of (key1,null,null,value1,value2) (key2,null,value3,value4,value5) (key3,null,null,null,value6) now if we return the first tupple then we get (key1) we get (key1,value1,value2) if we ask for key2 we get (key1,value3,value5) if we ask for key3 we get (key1,null,value6) how is it possible to get the fields in the priority of if you have value in f2, then its set into the returned field, only then if we have value in f3 then its set into the middle returned field, only then if we have value in f4 then its set into the middle returned field the main goal is to get the result into a sigel feild and prevent the overhead work needed at the result end.

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• Hook key & key combinations from keyboard with Qt 4.6

  - by Viet

  Let's say I have a window-less application which has only an icon on the Taskbar (Windows, Mac OS X & Linux). I want it to capture some key & key combinations, let's say Right Control + Right Shift. Upon keying in correct, combination, it will do something, say take screenshot. I can do window-less app, icon on the Taskbar and screen capture but I don't know how to monitor keyboard globally for key combinations. Please kindly advise. Any help or hint is greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance!

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• Text in gtk.ComboBox without active item

  - by Yotam

  The following PyGTk code, gives a combo-box without an active item. This serves a case where we do not want to have a default, and force the user to select. Still, is there a way to have the empty combo-bar show something like: "Select an item..." without adding a dummy item? import gtk import sys say = sys.stdout.write def cb_changed(w): say("Active index=%d\n" % w.get_active()) topwin = gtk.Window() topwin.set_title("No Default") topwin.set_size_request(0x100, 0x20) topwin.connect('delete-event', gtk.main_quit) vbox = gtk.VBox() ls = gtk.ListStore(str, str) combo = gtk.ComboBox(ls) cell = gtk.CellRendererText() combo.pack_start(cell) combo.add_attribute(cell, 'text', 0) combo.connect('changed', cb_changed) ls.clear() map(lambda i: ls.append(["Item-%d" % i, "Id%d" % i]), range(3)) vbox.pack_start(combo, padding=2) topwin.add(vbox) topwin.show_all() gtk.main() say("%s Exiting\n" % sys.argv[0]) sys.exit(0)

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• How to instantiate objects of classes that have dependencies injected?

  - by chester89

  Let's say I have some class with dependency injected: public class SomeBusinessCaller { ILogger logger; public SomeBusinessCaller(ILogger logger) { this.logger = logger; } } My question is, how do I instantiate an object of that class? Let's say I have an implementation for this, called AppLogger. After I say ObjectFactory.For<ILogger>().Use<AppLogger>(); how do I call constructor of SomeBusinessCaller? Am I calling SomeBusinessCaller caller = ObjectFactory.GetInstance<SomeBusinessCaller>(); or there is a different strategy for that?

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• Why does Term::Size seem to mess up Perl's output encoding?

  - by sid_com

  Hello! The Term::Size-module jumbles up the encoding. How can I fix this? #!/usr/bin/env perl use warnings; use strict; use 5.010; use utf8; binmode STDOUT, ':encoding(UTF-8)'; use Term::Size; my $string = 'Hällö'; say $string; my $columns = ( Term::Size::chars *STDOUT{IO} )[0]; say $columns; say $string; Output: Hällö 140 H?ll?

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• Can you get the previous value of a variable in Java?

  - by The Special One

  Say way have a variable (let's say String Str) and the value of Str starts of as " " then as some code is running it is set to "test" then somewhere else in the code it is changed again to say "tester". Now in the program I want to find out what the previous value of Str was. Is this possible in Java? So I am saying that the variable gets changed twice, and you want to find out what Str was before it got changed for the second time. So in the example above the latest value of Str would be "tester" but I wanted to find out what Str was before this (assuming you had no idea what it was before it was changed to tester) in this case I would want to be able to find out that Str was "test". Is it at all possible to do this in Java?

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• Splitting values into groups evenly

  - by Paul Knopf

  Let me try to explain the situation the best I can. Lets say I have 3 values 1, 2, 3 I tell an algorithm to split this values into x columns. Lets say x = 2 for clarification. The algorithm determines that the group of values is best put into two columns the following way. 1st column 2nd column --------------------------- 1 3 2 Each column has an even number (totals, not literals) value. Now lets say I have the following values 7, 8, 3, 1, 4 I tell the algorithm that I want the values split into 3 columns. The algorithm now tells me that the following is the best fit. 1st column 2nd column 3rd column 8 7 3 1 4 Notice how the columns arent quiet even, but it is as close as it can get. A little over and a little under is considered ok, as long as the list is AS CLOSE TO EVEN AS IT CAN BE. Anybody got any suggestions? Know any good methods of doing this?

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• Encoding regarding Term::Size

  - by sid_com

  Hello! The Term::Size-module jumbles up the encoding. How can I fix this? #!/usr/bin/env perl use warnings; use strict; use 5.010; use utf8; binmode STDOUT, ':encoding(UTF-8)'; use Term::Size; my $string = 'Hällö'; say $string; my $columns = ( Term::Size::chars *STDOUT{IO} )[0]; say $columns; say $string; Output: Hällö 140 H?ll?

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• how does tomcat like web container handle struts 2 variables ?

  - by mobby1982

  i am a newbie . i have a question regarding struts 2 framework and tomcat . i know that each request has it own thread , but my question is are the global variables defined in struts action shared amongst requests. for ex: if i have a global variable named say int pageNo; and i am using in say method called paginationAll() can i use the same variable (pageNo) for another method called say paginatonMaterialAll() in the same action or does each thread has its own set of variables even though globally defined?

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• Optimal ASP.Net cache duration for a large site?

  - by HeroicLife

  I've read lots of material on how to do ASP.Net caching but little on the optimal duration that pages should be cached for. Let's say that I have a popular site with 50,000 pages. The content does not change frequently, so I could cache pages for up to an hour if I wanted. The server has 16 GB of RAM, but database connections are limited. How long should pages be cached for? My thinking is that if I set the cache duration too high (let's say 60 minutes), I will fill up memory with a fraction of the total content, which will continually be shuffled in and out of memory. Furthermore, let's say that 10% of the pages are responsible for 90% of traffic. If the popular pages are hit every second, and the unpopular ones every hour, then a 60 second cache would only keep the load-intensive content cached without sacrificing freshness. Should numerous but rarely-accessed content be cached at all?

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• How to be Agile when new work keeps affecting completed work?

  - by jdln

  The project I'm working on is to re-skin an existing website. The functionally will stay the same, its just the styles that are changing. The HTML is not changing, I'm only modifying the CSS files. The site is pretty complex. There are dozens of pages. Users can be logged in and have a number of different roles. Depending on their role the content of the page and what pages they are allowed to see varys. We're using GIT and Github. I'm trying to write CSS that works as components. So when the same form elements, headings, etc appear on multiple pages they are already styled and are consistent. Most of time this is working well. Sadly the format and class names in the HTML are at times messy and unpredictable. When I fix something on one page it can break another. The job is also harder as no one knows exactly all the variations that are possible due to the user roles. As such I'm continuously finding new variations as I go along. I'm making headway by putting a lot of comments in my CSS. If I need to remove a CSS rule Ill comment it out so I can still see it with the chrome dev tools, and ill put a comment in the CSS saying why I removed it and for what page this was done. This means that if on another page I'm about to add add the rule to fix a different problem, there is more of a chance I will see how this would break the first page. This allows me to either find a different solution that will work for both pages, or I can make the override page specific. This has been working quite well for me. If I had complete free reign and the only deadline was to finish the project by the end then this method would be fine. However my manager is trying to mitigate risk by breaking the work into areas to be completed per sprint. This is counter to how I have been approaching things as something like my typography styles will affect all other pages on the site. The other issue is that the different stakeholders want to sign off each section as I go along. However once I've finished a section it may change if I change CSS that affects it and also affects a new section I'm working on. I've asked that the stakeholders have a quick unofficial sign off in stages (eg per sprint), and have the final official sign off at the end of the project, but this is being met with resistance. I do understand why it would be higher risk to do this, but the only way to guarantee that a signed off section will not change is to make ALL future changes page specific. In addition to this I'm being told that all work that I push to the Git repo should be ready to go live, and as such should not contain any code comments. This is risky for me as I wont know until I've finished the site if I will ever benefit from these comments or not. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and managed to find a compromise that worked for my development approach and also the desires of management and stakeholders to have a more Agile approach? A more Agile workflow works great when you can break the work into components and know that once something is done it wont be affected by future work. However the nature of this project makes this hard to achieve.

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• You Might Be a DBA

  - by BuckWoody

  With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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• Installing Ubuntu 12.10 on Mac Mini (End 2009)

  - by Till Lange

  I am trying to installing Ubuntu 12.10 on my Mac Mini (End 2009). This sounds like a often asked question and I all ready read lots of stuff about it, but now I am confused. While some people say, there are heavy problems by installing Ubuntu on a Mac Mini, such as components (like Sound card, graphic card, …) don't work very well, others say, that it should work perfectly fine. I figured out that installing UBNTU on a Mac isn't as easy (can't just downld the .iso and use unetboot, …) as it is on a PC. So, is it possible to install Ubuntu 12.10 on a Mac Mini 2009 (end), so everything works well?

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• How do you portray to non programmers what programming involves?

  - by JD Isaacks

  I get casually asked a lot to take a couple days to teach someone how to program. Most people really think they can learn what I know in a few days. When I tell them I have been doing this for many years and I can't teach them to be a programmer in a few days, they look at me like I am being a jerk and just don't want to help them. I think this is because when I say I am a programmer, or I programmed this. I truly think most people do not realize that I mean I wrote the code that makes it up. I think that they think I mean I configured it, like when you say, "I programmed my VCR." Does anyone else think this? Whats your experience?

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