bol - Page 3 - Developer IT

How to archive data from a table to a local or remote database in SQL 2005 and SQL 2008

- by simonsabin

Often you have the need to archive data from a table. This leads to a number of challenges 1. How can you do it without impacting users 2. How can I make it transactionally consistent, i.e. the data I put in the archive is the data I remove from the main table 3. How can I get it to perform well Points 1 is very much tied to point 3. If it doesn't perform well then the delete of data is going to cause lots of locks and thus potentially blocking. For points 1 and 3 refer to my previous posts DELETE-TOP-x-rows-avoiding-a-table-scan and UPDATE-and-DELETE-TOP-and-ORDER-BY---Part2. In essence you need to be removing small chunks of data from your table and you want to do that avoiding a table scan. So that deals with the delete approach but archiving is about inserting that data somewhere else. Well in SQL 2008 they introduced a new feature INSERT over DML (Data Manipulation Language, i.e. SQL statements that change data), or composable DML. The ability to nest DML statements within themselves, so you can past the results of an insert to an update to a merge. I've mentioned this before here SQL-Server-2008---MERGE-and-optimistic-concurrency. This feature is currently limited to being able to consume the results of a DML statement in an INSERT statement. There are many restrictions which you can find here http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms177564.aspx look for the section "Inserting Data Returned From an OUTPUT Clause Into a Table" Even with the restrictions what we can do is consume the OUTPUT from a DELETE and INSERT the results into a table in another database. Note that in BOL it refers to not being able to use a remote table, remote means a table on another SQL instance. To show this working use this SQL to setup two databases foo and fooArchive create database foo go --create the source table fred in database foo select * into foo..fred from sys.objects go create database fooArchive go if object_id('fredarchive',DB_ID('fooArchive')) is null begin select getdate() ArchiveDate,* into fooArchive..FredArchive from sys.objects where 1=2 end go And then we can use this simple statement to archive the data insert into fooArchive..FredArchive select getdate(),d.* from (delete top (1) from foo..Fred output deleted.*) d go In this statement the delete can be any delete statement you wish so if you are deleting by ids or a range of values then you can do that. Refer to the DELETE-TOP-x-rows-avoiding-a-table-scan post to ensure that your delete is going to perform. The last thing you want to do is to perform 100 deletes each with 5000 records for each of those deletes to do a table scan. For a solution that works for SQL2005 or if you want to archive to a different server then you can use linked servers or SSIS. This example shows how to do it with linked servers. [ONARC-LAP03] is the source server. begin transaction insert into fooArchive..FredArchive select getdate(),d.* from openquery ([ONARC-LAP03],'delete top (1) from foo..Fred output deleted.*') d commit transaction and to prove the transactions work try, you should get the same number of records before and after. select (select count(1) from foo..Fred) fred ,(select COUNT(1) from fooArchive..FredArchive ) fredarchive begin transaction insert into fooArchive..FredArchive select getdate(),d.* from openquery ([ONARC-LAP03],'delete top (1) from foo..Fred output deleted.*') d rollback transaction select (select count(1) from foo..Fred) fred ,(select COUNT(1) from fooArchive..FredArchive ) fredarchive The transactions are very important with this solution. Look what happens when you don't have transactions and an error occurs select (select count(1) from foo..Fred) fred ,(select COUNT(1) from fooArchive..FredArchive ) fredarchive insert into fooArchive..FredArchive select getdate(),d.* from openquery ([ONARC-LAP03],'delete top (1) from foo..Fred output deleted.* raiserror (''Oh doo doo'',15,15)') d select (select count(1) from foo..Fred) fred ,(select COUNT(1) from fooArchive..FredArchive ) fredarchive Before running this think what the result would be. I got it wrong. What seems to happen is that the remote query is executed as a transaction, the error causes that to rollback. However the results have already been sent to the client and so get inserted into the

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Full-text Indexing Books Online

- by Most Valuable Yak (Rob Volk)

While preparing for a recent SQL Saturday presentation, I was struck by a crazy idea (shocking, I know): Could someone import the content of SQL Server Books Online into a database and apply full-text indexing to it? The answer is yes, and it's really quite easy to do. The first step is finding the installed help files. If you have SQL Server 2012, BOL is installed under the Microsoft Help Library. You can find the install location by opening SQL Server Books Online and clicking the gear icon for the Help Library Manager. When the new window pops up click the Settings link, you'll get the following: You'll see the path under Library Location. Once you navigate to that path you'll have to drill down a little further, to C:\ProgramData\Microsoft\HelpLibrary\content\Microsoft\store. This is where the help file content is kept if you downloaded it for offline use. Depending on which products you've downloaded help for, you may see a few hundred files. Fortunately they're named well and you can easily find the "SQL_Server_Denali_Books_Online_" files. We are interested in the .MSHC files only, and can skip the Installation and Developer Reference files. Despite the .MHSC extension, these files are compressed with the standard Zip format, so your favorite archive utility (WinZip, 7Zip, WinRar, etc.) can open them. When you do, you'll see a few thousand files in the archive. We are only interested in the .htm files, but there's no harm in extracting all of them to a folder. 7zip provides a command-line utility and the following will extract to a D:\SQLHelp folder previously created: 7z e –oD:\SQLHelp "C:\ProgramData\Microsoft\HelpLibrary\content\Microsoft\store\SQL_Server_Denali_Books_Online_B780_SQL_110_en-us_1.2.mshc" *.htm Well that's great Rob, but how do I put all those files into a full-text index? I'll tell you in a second, but first we have to set up a few things on the database side. I'll be using a database named Explore (you can certainly change that) and the following setup is a fragment of the script I used in my presentation: USE Explore; GO CREATE SCHEMA help AUTHORIZATION dbo; GO -- Create default fulltext catalog for later FT indexes CREATE FULLTEXT CATALOG FTC AS DEFAULT; GO CREATE TABLE help.files(file_id int not null IDENTITY(1,1) CONSTRAINT PK_help_files PRIMARY KEY, path varchar(256) not null CONSTRAINT UNQ_help_files_path UNIQUE, doc_type varchar(6) DEFAULT('.xml'), content varbinary(max) not null); CREATE FULLTEXT INDEX ON help.files(content TYPE COLUMN doc_type LANGUAGE 1033) KEY INDEX PK_help_files; This will give you a table, default full-text catalog, and full-text index on that table for the content you're going to insert. I'll be using the command line again for this, it's the easiest method I know: for %a in (D:\SQLHelp\*.htm) do sqlcmd -S. -E -d Explore -Q"set nocount on;insert help.files(path,content) select '%a', cast(c as varbinary(max)) from openrowset(bulk '%a', SINGLE_CLOB) as c(c)" You'll need to copy and run that as one line in a command prompt. I'll explain what this does while you run it and watch several thousand files get imported: The "for" command allows you to loop over a collection of items. In this case we want all the .htm files in the D:\SQLHelp folder. For each file it finds, it will assign the full path and file name to the %a variable. In the "do" clause, we'll specify another command to be run for each iteration of the loop. I make a call to "sqlcmd" in order to run a SQL statement. I pass in the name of the server (-S.), where "." represents the local default instance. I specify -d Explore as the database, and -E for trusted connection. I then use -Q to run a query that I enclose in double quotes. The query uses OPENROWSET(BULK…SINGLE_CLOB) to open the file as a data source, and to treat it as a single character large object. In order for full-text indexing to work properly, I have to convert the text content to varbinary. I then INSERT these contents along with the full path of the file into the help.files table created earlier. This process continues for each file in the folder, creating one new row in the table. And that's it! 5 SQL Statements and 2 command line statements to unzip and import SQL Server Books Online! In case you're wondering why I didn't use FILESTREAM or FILETABLE, it's simply because I haven't learned them…yet. I may return to this blog after I figure that out and update it with the steps to do so. I believe that will make it even easier. In the spirit of exploration, I'll leave you to work on some fulltext queries of this content. I also recommend playing around with the sys.dm_fts_xxxx DMVs (I particularly like sys.dm_fts_index_keywords, it's pretty interesting). There are additional example queries in the download material for my presentation linked above. Many thanks to Kevin Boles (t) for his advice on (re)checking the content of the help files. Don't let that .htm extension fool you! The 2012 help files are actually XML, and you'd need to specify '.xml' in your document type column in order to extract the full-text keywords. (You probably noticed this in the default definition for the doc_type column.) You can query sys.fulltext_document_types to get a complete list of the types that can be full-text indexed. I also need to thank Hilary Cotter for giving me the original idea. I believe he used MSDN content in a full-text index for an article from waaaaaaaaaaay back, that I can't find now, and had forgotten about until just a few days ago. He is also co-author of Pro Full-Text Search in SQL Server 2008, which I highly recommend. He also has some FTS articles on Simple Talk: http://www.simple-talk.com/sql/learn-sql-server/sql-server-full-text-search-language-features/ http://www.simple-talk.com/sql/learn-sql-server/sql-server-full-text-search-language-features,-part-2/

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Ado.net Fill method not throwing error on running a Stored Procedure that does not exist.

- by Mike

I am using a combination of the Enterprise library and the original Fill method of ADO. This is because I need to open and close the command connection myself as I am capture the event Info Message Here is my code so far // Set Up Command SqlDatabase db = new SqlDatabase(ConfigurationManager.ConnectionStrings[ConnectionName].ConnectionString); SqlCommand command = db.GetStoredProcCommand(StoredProcName) as SqlCommand; command.Connection = db.CreateConnection() as SqlConnection; // Set Up Events for Logging command.StatementCompleted += new StatementCompletedEventHandler(command_StatementCompleted); command.Connection.FireInfoMessageEventOnUserErrors = true; command.Connection.InfoMessage += new SqlInfoMessageEventHandler(Connection_InfoMessage); // Add Parameters foreach (Parameter parameter in Parameters) { db.AddInParameter(command, parameter.Name, (System.Data.DbType)Enum.Parse(typeof(System.Data.DbType), parameter.Type), parameter.Value); } // Use the Old Style fill to keep the connection Open througout the population // and manage the Statement Complete and InfoMessage events SqlDataAdapter da = new SqlDataAdapter(command); DataSet ds = new DataSet(); // Open Connection command.Connection.Open(); // Populate da.Fill(ds); // Dispose of the adapter if (da != null) { da.Dispose(); } // If you do not explicitly close the connection here, it will leak! if (command.Connection.State == ConnectionState.Open) { command.Connection.Close(); } ... Now if I pass into the variable StoredProcName = "ThisProcDoesNotExists" And run this peice of code. The CreateCommand nor da.Fill through an error message. Why is this. The only way I can tell it did not run was that it returns a dataset with 0 tables in it. But when investigating the error it is not appearant that the procedure does not exist. EDIT Upon further investigation command.Connection.FireInfoMessageEventOnUserErrors = true; is causeing the error to be surpressed into the InfoMessage Event From BOL When you set FireInfoMessageEventOnUserErrors to true, errors that were previously treated as exceptions are now handled as InfoMessage events. All events fire immediately and are handled by the event handler. If is FireInfoMessageEventOnUserErrors is set to false, then InfoMessage events are handled at the end of the procedure. What I want is each print statement from Sql to create a new log record. Setting this property to false combines it as one big string. So if I leave the property set to true, now the question is can I discern a print message from an Error ANOTHER EDIT So now I have the code so that the flag is set to true and checking the error number in the method void Connection_InfoMessage(object sender, SqlInfoMessageEventArgs e) { // These are not really errors unless the Number >0 // if Number = 0 that is a print message foreach (SqlError sql in e.Errors) { if (sql.Number == 0) { Logger.WriteInfo("Sql Message",sql.Message); } else { // Whatever this was it was an error throw new DataException(String.Format("Message={0},Line={1},Number={2},State{3}", sql.Message, sql.LineNumber, sql.Number, sql.State)); } } } The issue now that when I throw the error it does not bubble up to the statement that made the call or even the error handler that is above that. It just bombs out on that line The populate looks like // Populate try { da.Fill(ds); } catch (Exception e) { throw new Exception(e.Message, e); } Now even though I see the calling codes and methods still in the Call Stack, this exception does not seem to bubble up?

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CodePlex Daily Summary for Wednesday, June 09, 2010

CodePlex Daily Summary for Wednesday, June 09, 2010New Projects.NET Transactional File Manager: Transactional File Manager is a .NET API that supports including file system operations such as file copy, move, delete in a transaction. It's an i...3D World Studio Content Pipeline for Windows Phone 7: This is a port of PhotonicGames' project: http://xna3dws.codeplex.com/releases/view/42994 for the Windows Phone 7 tools (XNA 4.0 CTP).Advanced Script Editor for 3D Rad: Advanced Script Editor makes it easier for 3D Rad coders to write scripts. Developed in C#, it features a functions list, a favourites list, object...Ajax ASP.Net Forum: A fast & lightweight open source free forum developed in ASP.Net 3.5, AJAX, CSS, SQL & Javascript Cache (filter-sort-move through table records at ...Axon: Axon is the home automation system that I will be running in my home. It will be a collection of different technologies and projects, often experim...BigBallz: Projeto de site de Bolões para campeonatos diversos. A princípio pensado para copa do mundo de futebol de 2010BigfootMVC: MVC Framework for DotNetNukeBigfootSQL: A StringBuilder for SQL. BigfootSQL was built with simplicity in mind. It assumes that you are comfortable writing SQL but dislike effort required ...Bxf (Basic XAML Framework): Basic Xaml Framework (Bxf) is a simple, streamlined set of UI components designed to demonstrate the minimum framework functionality required to ma...elZerf - elektronische Zeiterfassung: elektronisches Zeiterfassungsystem im Rahmen der Seminararbeit im Modul Web-Anwendungsprogrammierung.IntoFactories.Net - Samples: Project to host samples created by members of the IntoFactories.NET Team blog.Lanchonete: Sistema para controle de lanchonetes. Medieval Dynasties: Medieval Dynasties is a game written in C# 3.5 and XNA 3.1 at the moment. It is inspired by Crusader Kings, Total War and Civilization.PMMsg: A project to replace the standard messaging client on the Windows Mobile platform. Mainly geared towards Windows Mobile 6.5.3 VGA devices. Also an...PunkPong: PunkPong is an open source "Pong" alike game totally written in DHTML (JavaScript, CSS and HTML) that uses keyboard or mouse. This cross-platform a...Renegade Legion Fighter Calculator: In working on assigning fighters to squadrons, flights, and groups for a campaign, I was struck by the sheer amount of calculations I had to make. ...Sharpotify - Spotify .Net Library: Sharpotify is a Spotify library in C#. It is based in Jotify and SharPot projects. It is not a libspotify wrapper, It is a full .Net Spotify protoc...Silverlight load on demand with MEF: With MEF, a Silverlight control can be split in several packages(xap files). Each package can contain one or more pages and it will download on dem...SOLID by example: Source code examples to undestood solid design principles. Most of them were taken from http://www.lostechies.com/SQL Server 2008 Reporting Services RS.EXE Supporting Forms Authentication: A version of RS.EXE that you can use with Forms Authentication in Native Mode. Use the following arguments to specify credentials (just like Basic ...Stripper: Stripper Remove Diacritics and other unwanted caracter to fabric a more standardized file naming.study: studyUncoverPIC: UncoverPIC is a Silverlight Game strongly inspired to the famous Arcade Game "GalsPanic" (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gals_Panic ). It was dev...Unity3D Untitled MMO: Unity3D Untitled MMO FrameworkUnnamedShop: UnnamedShopXBStudio.asp.net.automation: A Unit Testing Automation library for asp.netXBStudio.Web: XBStudio Web ApplicationNew Releases3D World Studio Content Pipeline for Windows Phone 7: Initial Release (0.1): This is the first release of the project, with plenty of hackery and kludges to go around, but it mostly works! Let me know if you hit any bugs.Acies: Acies - Alpha Build 0.0.10: Alpha release. Requires Microsoft XNA Framework Redistributable 3.1 (http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=53867a2a-e249-4560-...Advanced Script Editor for 3D Rad: Advanced Script Editor - Version 2.6: Despite various previous releases on the 3D Rad forum, this is the first release on CodePlex.Ajax ASP.Net Forum: First Release: First Release prior to CodePlex Publish (send to admins)So, it doesn't all finish VERSION: 0.1.2 FEATURES Main Home Where all the Forums (called ...Artist Follower for Microsoft Access: Artist Follower 0.5.1: Artists Follower changes: Just one form to manage artists and links!!!Artist Follower for Microsoft Access: Artists Follower 0.5.0: This is the first release of Artist Follower.ASP.NET MVC SiteMap provider - MvcSiteMapProvider: MvcSiteMapProvider 2.0.0 CTP1: This is a community technology preview of MvcSiteMapProvider version 2.0. It is not backwards compatible with older MvcSiteMapProvider versions. ...B&W Port Scanner: Black`n`White Port Scanner 4.0: Version 4 includes: - Improved vulnerability detection tools - Report Creation - Improved Stability - Much better port information database - Nume...BaseCalendar: BaseControls 1.1: BaseControls 1.1 contains the BaseCalendar ASP.NET control. Changes: Rendering TH by default inside THEAD. Added option (ShowMinNumWeeks) to r...BigfootSQL: BigfootSQL Source Code: BigfootSQL C# Version 01Commerce Server 2009 Orders using Pipelines in a Console Application: ConsoleApplication To PLace Orders: ConsoleApplication To PLace Orders with Commerce Server 2009 foundationCommunity Forums NNTP bridge: Community Forums NNTP Bridge V33: Release of the Community Forums NNTP Bridge to access the social and anwsers MS forums with a single, open source NNTP bridge. This release has ad...Community Forums NNTP bridge: Community Forums NNTP Bridge V34: Release of the Community Forums NNTP Bridge to access the social and anwsers MS forums with a single, open source NNTP bridge. This release has ad...ContainerOne - C# application server: V0.1.2.0: New minor release containing: Integration test component for runtime testing Refactored and cleaned solution files First unit testsExtend SmallBasic: Teaching Extensions v.020: Moved Tortoise.approve to ProgramWindow.TakeScreenShot()fleet It: v0.06 Alpha: v0.06 Alpha - Features Caching implemented for fleets Various Bug fixes Implemented Settings. Resolved logical issue with Getting fleets U...Frotz.NET: Frotz.NET B2: In addition to B1 changes: - Added ZTools to enable debugging view of zcode files - Added rudimentary scroll back buffer. B1 Changes: - Got Adapt...FsObserver: FsObserver 2.0: This is basically the same as FsObserver 1.0 but the "-help" documentation has been cleaned up somewhat and the code has been refactored so that it...GPdotNET - Genetic Programming Tool: GPdotNETv1.0: GPdotNET v.1.0 - more details on http.bhrnjica.wordpress.com/gpdotnetHERB.IQ: Alpha 0.1 Source code release 8: Alpha 0.1 Source code release 8imdb movie downloader: myImdb 0.9.3: myImdb 0.9.3imdb movie downloader: myImdb 0.9.4: myImdb 0.9.4jccc .NET smart framework: jccc .NET smart framework version 1.2010.06.07: jccc .NET smart framework version 1.2010.06.07 added oracle databases supportLongBar: LongBar 2.1 Build 313: - Fixed library and updates to work with updated live services - Options: You can disable shadow nowMDownloader: MDownloader-0.15.17.59623: Fixed FileFactory provider. Improvied postpone policies. Added network request limiter.MediaCoder.NET: MediaCoder.NET v1.0 beta 1.1: Installer for MediaCoder.NET v1.0 beta1.1. It can now convert files with spaces in the path or filename. I have also created filter for the SaveFil...MediaCoder.NET: MediaCoder.NET v1.0 beta 1.1 Source Code: Source Code for MediaCoder.NET v1.0 beta 1.1.mesoBoard: mesoBoard - 0.9.1 beta: Fixed file download permissions Released under the New BSD License.MPCLI: Alpha Release (0.1.0.0): This release has core functionality and is considered a potential candidate for a feature complete release of this library. However, suggestions fo...N2 CMS: 2.0: N2 is a lightweight CMS framework for ASP.NET. It helps professional developers build great web sites that anyone can update. Major Changes (1.5 -...NHTrace: NHTrace-47571: NHTrace-47571NodeXL: Network Overview, Discovery and Exploration for Excel: NodeXL Class Libraries, version 1.0.1.125: The NodeXL class libraries can be used to display network graphs in .NET applications. To include a NodeXL network graph in a WPF desktop or Windo...NSoup: NSoup 0.2: NSoup 0.2 corresponds to jsoup version 1.1.1. List of changes can be viewed here.Opalis Community Releases: Integration Pack for Data Manipulation: The Integration Pack for Data Manipulation enables you to perform a wider variety of data manipulation tasks as well as aggregate data into common ...Performance Analysis of Logs (PAL) Tool: PAL v2.0 Beta 1: Fixed Counter Sorting: Fixed a minor bug where duplicate counter expression paths were not being removed. Analysis Added: Added LogicalDisk Read/...RoTwee: RoTwee (12.0.0.0): Trial version. 17925 Make it possible to change window sizeSharpotify - Spotify .Net Library: Sharpotify.Library 1.0: Sharpotify Library: Stable release. You can connect with spotify, search, browse (tracks, albums, artists), get a music stream, create and edit you...Silverlight load on demand with MEF: mal.Web.Silverlight.MEF 1.0.0.0: mal.Web.Silverlight.MEF 1.0.0.0sMAPtool: sMAPtool v0.7e (without Maps): + Added: color value expansion bar for hmap (right click to select color scheme) + Added: more complex hmap editing, uses now 4 point bounding rect...SQL Server 2008 Reporting Services RS.EXE Supporting Forms Authentication: Initial release: Enjoy!Stripper: Stripper 0.1.1 (CLi): Stripper Remove Diacritics and other unwanted caracters to fabric a more standardized file naming. Especially French caracter and maybe other lang...Unity3D Untitled MMO: v1: versionUrzaGatherer: UrzaGatherer 2.01a: New version with some minors bugs corrected.VCC: Latest build, v2.1.30608.0: Automatic drop of latest buildVCC: Latest build, v2.1.30608.1: Automatic drop of latest buildWatermarker.NET: 0.1.3811: A newer version with some improvements. I release this as a .zip archive, because settings are added here, so there will be .exe and .config files.Yet Another GPS: Alfa Release: Alfa working releaseMost Popular ProjectsDozer Enterprise Library for .NETEmployee Management SystemWiiMote PhysicsVisualStudio 2010 JavaScript OutliningSpider CompilerConcurrent CacheOil Slick Live FeedsCSUFVGDC Summer JamWinGetSiteMap Utility for DNN Blog ModuleMost Active ProjectsCommunity Forums NNTP bridgepatterns & practices – Enterprise LibraryRhyduino - Arduino and Managed CodejQuery Library for SharePoint Web ServicesRawrNB_Store - Free DotNetNuke Ecommerce Catalog ModuleAndrew's XNA HelpersBlogEngine.NETStyleCopCustomer Portal Accelerator for Microsoft Dynamics CRM

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CodePlex Daily Summary for Sunday, April 15, 2012

CodePlex Daily Summary for Sunday, April 15, 2012Popular ReleasesAssaultCube Reloaded: 2.4.1 Valor: POSSIBLE KNIFE CRASH FIX Codename Valor as suggested by LMFAO! on the forums Weapon tweaks Linux has Ubuntu 11.10 32-bit precompiled binaries and Ubuntu 10.10 64-bit precompiled binaries, but you can compile your own as it also contains the source. If you are using Mac or other operating systems, download the Linux package. The server pack is ready for both Windows and Linux, but you might need to compile your own for linux (source included)callisto: callisto 2.0.25: removed 2 ip ranges from hotspot shield black list.KBCsv: KBCsv V1.4.0.0: #11872 (skipping records with delimited text can break parser) #11873 (globalization support in CsvWriter) #11185 (more versatile constructor and method overloads)National Geographic Photo of the Day Wallpaper Changer: Photo of the Day Wallpaper Changer v2.0: National Geographic - Photo of the Day Wallpaper Changer v2.0 is an improved version. It has some new features like improved GUI, automatic update and date to date photo archiver etc. please check out the user guide for more information. Please copy the exe in a directory and run. Its that simple to use :).Coding4Fun Tools: Coding4Fun.Phone.Toolkit v1.5.6: Bug Fixes nuget was broken for Timespan and complete build due to how i did the target. Corrected and made all 3 match. Color Slider (and by default Color Picker) didn't respect view state for being disabled depending on how it was set. Test application now has test cases.Json.NET: Json.NET 4.5 Release 3: Change - DefaultContractResolver.IgnoreSerializableAttribute is now true by default Fix - Fixed MaxDepth on JsonReader recursively throwing an error Fix - Fixed SerializationBinder.BindToName not being called with full assembly namesVisual Studio Team Foundation Server Branching and Merging Guide: v2 - For Visual Studio 11: Welcome to the BETA of the Branching and Merging Guide preview As this is a BETA release and the quality bar for the final Release has not been achieved, we value your candid feedback and recommend that you do not use or deploy these BETA artifacts in a production environment. Quality-Bar Details Documentation has been reviewed by Visual Studio ALM Rangers Documentation has not been through an independent technical review Documentation has been reviewed by the quality and recording te...Media Companion: MC 3.435b Release: This release should be the last beta for 3.4xx. A handful of problems have been sorted out since last weeks release. If there are no major problems this time, it will upgraded to 3.500 Stable at the end of the week! General The .NET Framework has been modified to use the Client profile, as provided by normal Windows updates; no longer is there a requirement to download and install the Full profile! mc_com.exe has been worked on to mimic proper Media Companion output (a big thanks to vbat99...Wholemy.LinkedLists: wholemy.linkedlists.2012.04.12.38: libs and srcTHE NVL Maker: The NVL Maker Ver 3.12: SIM??????，TRA??????，ZIP????。 ????????????????，??????~（??????????????????） ??????? simpatch1440x900 trapatch1440x900 ?????1400x900??1440x900，?????????????Data.xp3。 ???? ?????3.12?EXE????????????????， ??????????????，??Tool/krkrconf.exe，??Editor.exe， ???????????????「??????」。 ?????Editor.exe??????。 ???? ???? http://etale.us/gameupload/THE_NVL_Maker_ver3.12_sim.zip ???? http://www.mediafire.com/?je51683g22bz8vo ??Infinite Creation?? http://bbs.etale.us/forum.php ?????? ???? 3.12 ??? ???、????...Quick Performance Monitor: Version 1.8.2: Version 1.8.2. Add the ability for qpmset files to also store the Window location/size so predefined 'sets' can be forced to always open on the same place of the screen.SnmpMessenger: 0.1.1.1: Project Description SnmpMessenger, a messenger. Using the SNMP protocol to exchange messages. It's developed in C#. SnmpMessenger For .Net 4.0, Mono 2.8. Support SNMP V1, V2, V3. Features Send get, set and other requests and get the response. Send and receive traps. Handle requests and return the response. Note This library is compliant with the Common Language Specification(CLS). The latest version is 0.1.1.1. It is only a messenger, does not involve VACM. Any problems, Please mailto: wa...Python Tools for Visual Studio: 1.1.1: We’re pleased to announce the release of Python Tools for Visual Studio 1.1.1. Python Tools for Visual Studio (PTVS) is an open-source plug-in for Visual Studio which supports programming with the Python language. PTVS supports a broad range of features including: • Supports CPython and IronPython • Python editor with advanced member and signature intellisense • Code navigation: “Find all refs”, goto definition, and object browser • Local and remote debugging • Profiling with multiple view...Supporting Guidance and Whitepapers: v1 - Team Foundation Service Whitepapers: Welcome to the BETA release of the Team Foundation Service Whitepapers preview As this is a BETA release and the quality bar for the final Release has not been achieved, we value your candid feedback and recommend that you do not use or deploy these BETA artifacts in a production environment. Quality-Bar Details Documentation has been reviewed by Visual Studio ALM Rangers Documentation has been through an independent technical review All critical bugs have been resolved Known Issue...LINQ to Twitter: LINQ to Twitter Beta v2.0.24: Supports .NET 3.5, .NET 4.0, Silverlight 4.0, Windows Phone 7.1, and Client Profile. 100% Twitter API coverage. Also available via NuGet.Kendo UI ASP.NET Sample Applications: Sample Applications (2012-04-11): Sample application(s) demonstrating the use of Kendo UI in ASP.NET applications.SCCM Client Actions Tool: SCCM Client Actions Tool v1.12: SCCM Client Actions Tool v1.12 is the latest version. It comes with following changes since last version: Improved WMI date conversion to be aware of timezone differences and DST. Fixed new version check. The tool is downloadable as a ZIP file that contains four files: ClientActionsTool.hta – The tool itself. Cmdkey.exe – command line tool for managing cached credentials. This is needed for alternate credentials feature when running the HTA on Windows XP. Cmdkey.exe is natively availab...Dual Browsing: Dual Browser: Please note the following: I setup the address bar temporarily to only accepts http:// .com addresses. Just type in the name of the website excluding: http://, www., and .com; (Ex: for www.youtube.com just type: youtube then click OK). The page splitter can be grabbed by holding down your left mouse button and move left or right. By right clicking on the page background, you can choose to refresh, go back a page and so on. Demo video: http://youtu.be/L7NTFVM3JUYLiberty: v3.2.0.1 Release 9th April 2012: Change Log-Fixed -Reach Fixed a bug where the object editor did not work on non-English operating systemsPath Copy Copy: 10.1: This release addresses the following work items: 11357 11358 11359 This release is a recommended upgrade, especially for users who didn't install the 10.0.1 version.New ProjectsADENA: This project consists in the development of a Graphical User Interface (GUI) for a proof assistant for Propositional Classical Logic based on Natural Deduction method.Alternity Warships Editor: This is a tool designed to easy the process of creating a new spaceship for Alternity using the Warship rules.BigBallz: Projeto de site de Bolões para campeonatos diversos. A princípio pensado para copa do mundo de futebol de 2010Crescent: bunch of mac scriptsDemoVasquez: Demo Proyecto 1Didrotuos: DidrotuosEat Out Advocate: Eat Out Advocate --------------------Kuttiflow: A simple implementation of Workflow for .NetLuan Van Cuoi Khoa: Lu?n van cu?i khoa ÐH Tây Nguyênmapaconwindowsphone: probar un mapa de bing mapsMovie Renamer: Is your movie collection a mess? No idea which movie is which? This tool easily renames movies based on the title and the year of the movie. Helps you sort out that movie collection! It will download from IMDB the closest matches based on the name of the file. Very simple written in WPF, so it will need the .NET 4 framework. At the moment you cannot set how you want to movie to be renamed, it will always be: "MovieTitle (Year).ext".Online Math Calculator: This is an Online Math Calculator. What this does is take your equation in the usual form and convert every variable to x, y, and every constant to a, b, c, d, e, etc... use wolfram|alpha and then convert back to the input format. This allows to input most equations.Orchard on Windows Azure with Dynamic Deploy: Dynamic Deploy is a cloud deployment platform. This project includes the Orchard source code that was used to create a Windows Azure build. The original source has not been modified. We have just added more themes and modules and modified web.config with a machine key. visit httppcvvpes: pcvvpesPesquisa de Satisfacao: PesquisaPit of Despair: An XNA 4.0 game in C# focused on learning to write overhead dungeon crawl games. Inpired from games such as Zelda, Wizardy, perhaps some original Final Fantasy.Prova Branquinho: Prova BranquinhoRibHat: RibHat is a framework for building websites, forums, blogs, and web-based information systems. It is a set of libraries that help the programmer to get rid from the immobility of CMS, obtaining a maximum level of customization.SetupWizard: a SetupWizard, install windows service, create IIS site, create database during installation.SharkOS: This operating system is the system Arkadia OS but with a GUI, it is created in c #, it will be fast and no lag.Shopping List: Shopping List is a simple WP7 application that enables tracking of items to buy when going for groceries.Sim Cricket: Cricket simulation game.. For cricket and C# fans.. Simple InterNET Daemon: Simple InterNET DaemonSteggy: Steganography project. SychevIgor Win8 Apps Source Code: SychevIgor Win8 Apps Source Codetest53768492156478: nothingTool to change monitor display frequency on HTPC: This is a small application that can change the monitors refresh-rate by simply running one of the applications for the desired refresh-rate. It was developed to make it easy to change the refresh rate, when launching external media players from XBMC and so on... And it was published here, so that others can see how easily it can be done.TravelSaver: Hajj Umrah USA, Travel SaverUpdateBot: UpdateBot is a GUI application that simplifies and automates the downloading and parsing of FileHippo.com's Update Checker result pages.

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You Might Be a DBA

- by BuckWoody

With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today. buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!) databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O) DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room? jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA. jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator" markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends." markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster" MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA. mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible! Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671 onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs. ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :) SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice! SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food") sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice) sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind. sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43 SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait... thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;) TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets... venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow.. venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets... venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China." Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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