Search Results

Search found 142 results on 6 pages for 'bored'.

Page 6/6 | < Previous Page | 2 3 4 5 6 

  • Using Apple’s Bonjour service from .NET?

    - by Martín Marconcini
    I have an iPhone app that publishes through Bonjour. The Mac counterpart works, they sync and exchange data. Now I have to port that little Mac app to Windows. I’ve decided to go with .NET (because that’s what I know). The app is not complex, but I’m in the early stages. I need to browse/discover Bonjour services. For this task, I’ve downloaded Mono.Zeroconf and Apple’s latest SDK (which includes a couple of C# Samples). I’m not really pasting code because I’m really copy/pasting the samples. In fact, Mono.Zeroconf has a MZClient.exe that can be used to test “all the API”. My 1st test was -on the same box- open two cmd.exe and launch a MZclient registering a service and on the other, launch it and “discover it”. It doesn’t work. Here’s the server: C:\MZ>MZClient -v -p "_http._tcp 80 mysimpleweb” *** Registering name = 'mysimpleweb', type = '_http._tcp', domain = 'local.' *** Registered name = ‘mysimpleweb’ On the other terminal: c:\MZ>MZClient -v -t "_http._tcp" Creating a ServiceBrowser with the following settings: Interface = 0 (All) Address Protocol = Any Domain = local Registration Type = _http._tcp Resolve Shares = False Hit ^C when you're bored waiting for responses. And that’s it. Nothing happens. I’ve of course tried with different services to no avail. Even played a little bit with that domain thing. Remember this is the same box. I tried on another computer, because this was a VM inside OSX, so I went ahead and tried on a “pure” win XP. Nothing. note: I have Apple Bonjour Service (up and running) and also the Apple SDK (installed later). Given that this didn’t work, I went ahead and decided to try the Apple SDK which has an Interop and a few pre-compiled samples (and its source code). Short story, neither the mDSNBrowser.exe nor the SimpleChat.exe work/see/discover anything. My box is a Win7 under Parallels, but that doesn’t seem to be affecting anything, given that the native XP exhibits the same problems. What am I doing so awfully wrong?

    Read the article

  • My mental block - struggling to learn Objective C

    - by iqessar
    Hello people, this would be my first question after signing up! Anyway heres my question, I did Java at university and I was always told I am a good programmer. However I never pursued it as a career - I went into support and management instead. Im pretty much bored with my job, I have therefore started to learn Objective C so that I can develop apps for the iphone. I am currently watching several different Videos / Books. My problem is that when I go through the Apple documentation, although I understand most of it, sometimes I stumble. I believe that because you/we have the Apple documentation (i.e. Framework references) , everything should be clear, and therefore you should have no need to refer to a book or video (in order to learn how to use a particular class). But I alway do refer to a book and video and subsequently feel guilty as I believe the framework reference should be enough. (I therefore feel I am not up to being a programmer) I also believe that you shouldn't need example code in order to learn how to use a particular class because Apple provides documentation for each class, but AGAIN I find my self googling example code and I find my answer like that - again I feel guilty for doing this. Am I right in saying that Apple documentation is simply not clear? and that its ok to refer to a video/book or google? or forums for that matter? I have proffesional programmers who tell me that I am worrying too much and that I should get on with it and use all the resources that I have. I just cant seem to get round this mental block that I have in my head. When I start a programming project I am able to use the excellent search skills that I have to find the code I need, copy and paste it (yes I do understand it) BUT then I feel guilty telling myself that why didn't you think up the code yourself???? Therefore your not a real programmer, your just good at googling. Currently I am going through 20+ books so that I can learn most of the frameworks, syntax etc to develop iphone apps. I believe if I do this, then when I think of a project I can make it quickly. Should I read a few books, like 2-3 and then just start a project /app , and if I get stuck just google it and get the code I need? Can anybody please answer my questions?

    Read the article

  • What would you do to make this code more "over-engineered"? [closed]

    - by Mez
    A friend and I got bored, and, long story short, decided to make an over-engineered FizzBuzz in PHP <?php interface INumber { public function go(); public function setNumber($i); } class FBNumber implements INumber { private $value; private $fizz; private $buzz; public function __construct($fizz = 3 , $buzz = 5) { $this->setFizz($fizz); $this->setBuzz($buzz); } public function setNumber($i) { if(is_int($i)) { $this->value = $i; } } private function setFizz($i) { if(is_int($i)) { $this->fizz = $i; } } private function setBuzz($i) { if(is_int($i)) { $this->buzz = $i; } } private function isFizz() { return ($this->value % $this->fizz == 0); } private function isBuzz() { return ($this->value % $this->buzz == 0); } private function isNeither() { return (!$this->isBuzz() AND !$this->isFizz()); } private function isFizzBuzz() { return ($this->isFizz() OR $this->isBuzz()); } private function fizz() { if ($this->isFizz()) { return "Fizz"; } } private function buzz() { if ($this->isBuzz()) { return "Buzz"; } } private function number() { if ($this->isNeither()) { return $this->value; } } public function go() { return $this->fizz() . $this->buzz() . $this->number(); } } class FizzBuzz { private $limit; private $number_class; private $numbers = array(); function __construct(INumber $number_class, $limit = 100) { $this->number_class = $number_class; $this->limit = $limit; } private function collectNumbers() { for ($i=1; $i <= $this->limit; $i++) { $n = clone($this->number_class); $n->setNumber($i); $this->numbers[$i] = $n->go(); unset($n); } } private function printNumbers() { $return = ''; foreach($this->numbers as $number){ $return .= $number . "\n"; } return $return; } public function go() { $this->collectNumbers(); return $this->printNumbers(); } } $fb = new FizzBuzz(new FBNumber()); echo $fb->go(); In theory, what could we/would you do to make it even more "over-engineered"?

    Read the article

  • ActionResult - Service

    - by cem
    I bored, writing same code for service and ui. Then i tried to write a converter for simple actions. This converter, converting Service Results to MVC result, seems like good solution for me but anyway i think this gonna opposite MVC pattern. So here, I need help, what you think about algorithm - is this good or not? Thanks ServiceResult - Base: public abstract class ServiceResult { public static NoPermissionResult Permission() { return new NoPermissionResult(); } public static SuccessResult Success() { return new SuccessResult(); } public static SuccessResult<T> Success<T>(T result) { return new SuccessResult<T>(result); } protected ServiceResult(ServiceResultType serviceResultType) { _resultType = serviceResultType; } private readonly ServiceResultType _resultType; public ServiceResultType ResultType { get { return _resultType; } } } public class SuccessResult<T> : ServiceResult { public SuccessResult(T result) : base(ServiceResultType.Success) { _result = result; } private readonly T _result; public T Result { get { return _result; } } } public class SuccessResult : SuccessResult<object> { public SuccessResult() : this(null) { } public SuccessResult(object o) : base(o) { } } Service - eg. ForumService: public ServiceResult Delete(IVUser user, int id) { Forum forum = Repository.GetDelete(id); if (!Permission.CanDelete(user, forum)) { return ServiceResult.Permission(); } Repository.Delete(forum); return ServiceResult.Success(); } Controller: public class BaseController { public ActionResult GetResult(ServiceResult result) { switch (result.ResultType) { case ServiceResultType.Success: var successResult = (SuccessResult)result; return View(successResult.Result); break; case ServiceResultType.NoPermission: return View("Error"); break; default: return View(); break; } } } [HandleError] public class ForumsController : BaseController { [ValidateAntiForgeryToken] [Transaction] [AcceptVerbs(HttpVerbs.Post)] public ActionResult Delete(int id) { ServiceResult result = ForumService.Delete(WebUser.Current, id); /* Custom result */ if (result.ResultType == ServiceResultType.Success) { TempData[ControllerEnums.GlobalViewDataProperty.PageMessage.ToString()] = "The forum was successfully deleted."; return this.RedirectToAction(ec => Index()); } /* Custom result */ /* Execute Permission result etc. */ TempData[ControllerEnums.GlobalViewDataProperty.PageMessage.ToString()] = "A problem was encountered preventing the forum from being deleted. " + "Another item likely depends on this forum."; return GetResult(result); } }

    Read the article

  • Coping with feelings of technical mediocrity

    - by Karim
    As I've progressed as a programmer, I noticed more nuance and areas I could study in depth. In part, I've come to think of myself from, at one point, a "guru" to now much less, even mediocre or inadequate. Is this normal, or is it a sign of a destructive excessive ambition? Background I started to program when I was still a kid, I had about 10 or 11 years. I really enjoy my work and never get bored from it. It's amazing how somebody could be paid for what he really likes to do and would be doing it anyway even for free. When I first started to program, I was feeling proud of what I was doing, each application I built was for me a success and after 2-3 year I had a feeling that I'm a coding guru. It was a nice feeling. ;-) But the more I was in the field and the more types of software I started to develop, I was starting to have a feeling that I'm completely wrong in thinking I'm a guru. I felt that I'm not even a mediocre developer. Each new field I start to work on is giving me this feeling. Like when I once developed a device driver for a client, I saw how much I need to learn about device drivers. When I developed a video filter for an application, I saw how much do I still need to learn about DirectShow, Color Spaces, and all the theory behind that. The worst thing was when I started to learn algorithms. It was several years ago. I knew then the basic structures and algorithms like the sorting, some types of trees, some hashtables, strings, etc. and when I really wanted to learn a group of structures I learned about 5-6 new types and saw that in fact even this small group has several hundred subtypes of structures. It's depressing how little time people have in their lives to learn all this stuff. I'm now a software developer with about 10 years of experience and I still feel that I'm not a proficient developer when I think about things that others do in the industry.

    Read the article

  • Finding open contiguous blocks of time for every day of a month, fast

    - by Chris
    I am working on a booking availability system for a group of several venues, and am having a hard time generating the availability of time blocks for days in a given month. This is happening server-side in PHP, but the concept itself is language agnostic -- I could be doing this in JS or anything else. Given a venue_id, month, and year (6/2012 for example), I have a list of all events occurring in that range at that venue, represented as unix timestamps start and end. This data comes from the database. I need to establish what, if any, contiguous block of time of a minimum length (different per venue) exist on each day. For example, on 6/1 I have an event between 2:00pm and 7:00pm. The minimum time is 5 hours, so there's a block open there from 9am - 2pm and another between 7pm and 12pm. This would continue for the 2nd, 3rd, etc... every day of June. Some (most) of the days have nothing happening at all, some have 1 - 3 events. The solution I came up with works, but it also takes waaaay too long to generate the data. Basically, I loop every day of the month and create an array of timestamps for each 15 minutes of that day. Then, I loop the time spans of events from that day by 15 minutes, marking any "taken" timeslot as false. Remaining, I have an array that contains timestamp of free time vs. taken time: //one day's array after processing through loops (not real timestamps) array( 12345678=>12345678, // <--- avail 12345878=>12345878, 12346078=>12346078, 12346278=>false, // <--- not avail 12346478=>false, 12346678=>false, 12346878=>false, 12347078=>12347078, // <--- avail 12347278=>12347278 ) Now I would need to loop THIS array to find continuous time blocks, then check to see if they are long enough (each venue has a minimum), and if so then establish the descriptive text for their start and end (i.e. 9am - 2pm). WHEW! By the time all this looping is done, the user has grown bored and wandered off to Youtube to watch videos of puppies; it takes ages to so examine 30 or so days. Is there a faster way to solve this issue? To summarize the problem, given time ranges t1 and t2 on day d, how can I determine the remaining time left in d that is longer than the minimum time block m. This data is assembled on demand via AJAX as the user moves between calendar months. Results are cached per-page-load, so if the user goes to July a second time, the data that was generated the first time would be reused. Any other details that would help, let me know. Edit Per request, the database structure (or the part that is relevant here) *events* id (bigint) title (varchar) *event_times* id (bigint) event_id (bigint) venue_id (bigint) start (bigint) end (bigint) *venues* id (bigint) name (varchar) min_block (int) min_start (varchar) max_start (varchar)

    Read the article

  • cannt run phpunit tests on bash ubuntu 11.10

    - by Mohamad Elbialy
    i'm working with ubuntu 11.10 as root on my local machine, i've installed xampp 1.7.7 and i'm a newbie to ubuntu, while following a tutorial on sitepoint(http://www.sitepoint.com/getting-started-with-pear/) on how to install pear to use PhpUnit, i didnt notice it then, but it seems that i installed or used an existing php version 5.3.6 in CL to do that, also the pear installation was built on this version, while xampp being installed,i now have two versions of php,xampp's 5.3.8 and the 5.3.6, anyway, what i want to do is to use the existing xampp php version and build pear on that, to make all my work through xampp.so my questions are: how to uninstall the php V5.3.6 and it's pear installation? how to link the CL with the php ver. of xampp? how to build the next pear installation on the php ver. of xampp? i want all my web dev. work through xampp, is there anything else i need to unistall, to avoid this confusion? 4. i did the following in attampet to solve the problem: i wrote this in bash: gedit ~/.bashrc i added that to the end of ~/.bashrc file in attempt to change environment path: export PATH=/opt/lampp/bin:$PATH export PATH=/opt/lampp/lib/php:$PATH export PATH=/opt/lampp/lib/php/PHPUnit/pearcmd.php:$PATH i checked the php and pear version using 'php -v' and 'pear list' i got an ouput of: PHP 5.3.8 (cli) (built: Sep 19 2011 13:29:27) Copyright (c) 1997-2011 The PHP Group Zend Engine v2.3.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2011 Zend Technologies and for pear: Installed packages, channel pear.php.net: ========================================= Package Version State Archive_Tar 1.3.9 stable Console_Getopt 1.3.1 stable PEAR 1.9.4 stable PHPUnit 1.3.2 stable Structures_Graph 1.0.4 stable XML_Util 1.2.1 stable when i run: 'phpunit MessageTest.php': i get PHP Warning: require_once(PHP/CodeCoverage/Filter.php): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /usr/bin/phpunit on line 38 Warning: require_once(PHP/CodeCoverage/Filter.php): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /usr/bin/phpunit on line 38 PHP Fatal error: require_once(): Failed opening required 'PHP/CodeCoverage/Filter.php' (include_path='.:/php/includes:/opt/lampp/lib/php:/opt/lampp/bin:/opt/lampp/lib/php/PEAR') in /usr/bin/phpunit on line 38 5.i ran the following commands as reported in other questions as a solution to that error: sudo apt-get remove phpunit sudo pear channel-discover pear.phpunit.de sudo pear channel-discover pear.symfony-project.com sudo pear channel-discover components.ez.no sudo pear update-channels sudo pear upgrade-all sudo pear install --alldeps phpunit/PHPUnit sudo apt-get install phpunit and updated include path of php.ini to be: include_path = ".:/php/includes:/opt/lampp/lib/php:/opt/lampp/bin:/opt/lampp/lib/php/PEAR" the php file MessageTest.php: <?php require 'PHPUnit/Autoload.php'; $path = '/opt/lampp/lib/php/PEAR'; set_include_path(get_include_path() . PATH_SEPARATOR . $path); require_once 'PHPUnit/Framework/TestCase.php'; require_once 'Message/Controller/MessageController.php'; class MessageTest extends PHPUnit_Framework_TestCase{ private $message; public function setUp() { $this->message = new MessageController(); } public function tearDown() { } public function testRepeat(){ $yell = "Hello, Any One Out There?"; $this->message->repeat($yell); //sending a request $returnedMessage = $this->message->repeat($yell);//get a response $this->assertEquals($returnedMessage, $yell); } } ?> MessageController class from MessageController.php that i'm trying to test <?php class MessageController { public function actionHelloWorld() { echo 'helloWorld'; } public function repeat($inputString){ return $inputString; } } $msg = new MessageController; ?> I'm not using any PHP framework, i just made the files and classes sounds like it that's all. and still i get the same error: PHP Warning: require_once(PHP/CodeCoverage/Filter.php): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /usr/bin/phpunit on line Warning: require_once(PHP/CodeCoverage/Filter.php): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /usr/bin/phpunit on line 38 PHP Fatal error: require_once(): Failed opening required 'PHP/CodeCoverage/Filter.php' (include_path='.:/php/includes:/opt/lampp/lib/php:/opt/lampp/bin:/opt/lampp/lib/php/PEAR') in /usr/bin/phpunit on line 38 sure, i'm getting demanding here, i've wasted a lot of time and got really frustrated over this, hope you guys dont get bored reading through my questions, i appreciate your help thanks in advance, Mohamad elbialy

    Read the article

  • IBM Server Config questions

    - by Joel Coel
    I have a few questions on a potential server setup. First, the situation: Last year we bought an IBM x3500 server with 2 Xeon E5410's, 9GB RAM, 6 HDDs. The original intent for this server was to replace the old exchange e-mail server. It was brought in, set up, and then shortly after we switched to gmail. Shortly after that my predecessor left for greener pastures, and finally I was hired. So this nice server is now sitting (mostly) idle. This year I have budget again for one server, and of course I want to put this other server to work. I'm thinking about the best use for the two server, and I think I finally have a plan for what I want to do with them. The idea is to use the two newer servers as a pair of VM hosts. I will set up each server with the same 8 VMs, but divide up the load so that only 4 are active per physical host. That means I've normally got 2GB RAM + 2 cores per host. I've done some load testing to pick out what servers to convert to virtual, and chose them so that each host will be capable of handling the entire set of 8 by itself in a pinch with 1 core and 1GB RAM, but would be very taxed to do so. This should take our data center from 13 total servers down to 7. The "servers" I'm replacing are mostly re-purposed desktops, so I'm more than happy to be able to do this. Now it's time to go shopping for the new server. I'd like my two hosts to match as closely as possible, and so I'm looking at IBM again. It also helps that we have some educational matching grant money from IBM that I need to use to help pay for this system (we're a small private college). So finally, (if you're not bored already), we come to my questions: Am I missing anything big or obvious in this plan? I'm a little worried about network performance since the VM hosts will only have 4 nics total where 8 used to be, but I don't think it will be a problem. Is there anything else like this I might be overlooking? Am I making it even too complicated? IBM no longer has a good analog to last year's server. If I want to match the performance (8 cores, 9GB RAM, 1333mhz front side bus, 6 spindles), I have to spend quite a bit more than we paid last year: $2K+, or nearly a 33% cost increase. This only brings a marginal increase in performance. The alternative to stay in budget is to take a hit on the fsb down to 800mhz or cut the number of cores in half, neither of which is attractive. The main cost culprit is the processor. IBM no longer offers the E5410. It's listed as a part, but not available in any of the server configs I've looked at. I'm considering getting the cheapest 800mhz fsb dual core xeon I can configure and then buying the E5410's separately. That's still an extra $350 I wasn't counting on, but that's better than $2K. I want to know what others think of this - will it work or will I end up with the wrong motherboard or some other issue? Am I missing a simple way to configure the server I really want? I don't really intend to do this, but one option to save some money back is to omit the redundant power supply. Since my redundancy plan for these system is to switch over to a completely different host, the extra power isn't fully necessary. That said, it's still very helpful to avoid even short downtimes while I switch over VMs. Has anyone done this?

    Read the article

  • A quiz with results

    - by Keon Davies
    I'm currently working on programming a quiz withe results. I've tried this: <html> <body> <h1></h1> <form> <ol> <li> How much are you willing to spend on a phone per month?</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q1" id="q1_1"> £5-£10.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q1" id="q1_2"> £10-£15.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q1" id="q1_3"> £15-£20.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q1" id="q1_4"> £20-£25.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q1" id="q1_5"> £25-£30.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q1" id="q1_6"> £30-£35.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q1" id="q1_7"> £35-£40.</input></li> </ul> <li> Are you good with technology</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q2" id="q2_1"> Yes.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q2" id="q2_2"> No.</input></li> </ul> <li> Are you looking for an easy to use phone</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q3" id="q3_1"> Yes.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q3" id="q3_2"> No.</input></li> </ul> <li> Are you looking for a modern type of phone?</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q4" id="q4_1"> Yes.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q4" id="q4_2"> No.</input></li> </ul> <li> How big do you want the phone to be?</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q5" id="q5_1"> Big.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q5" id="q5_2"> Medium.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q5" id="q5_3"> Small.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q5" id="q5_4"> I don't really mind.</input></li> </ul> <li> Do you care about the colour of the phone?</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q6" id="q6_1"> Yes.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q6" id="q6_2"> No.</input></li> </ul> <li> Have you ever owned a phone before?</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q7" id="q7_1"> Yes.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q7" id="q7_2"> No.</input></li> </ul> <li> Do you want to be able to use the phone to get out of awkward social situations?</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q8" id="q8_1"> Yes.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q8" id="q8_2"> No.</input></li> </ul> <li> Do you want to be able to access the app store and download apps using your phone?</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q9" id="q9_1"> Yes.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q9" id="q9_2"> No.</input></li> </ul> <li> What happened to the last phone you owned?</li> <ul> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q10" id="q10_1"> I got bored of it.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q10" id="q10_2"> It broke.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q10" id="q10_3"> The contract ran out.</input></li> <li><input type = "radio" name = "q10" id="q10_4"> Other.</input></li> </ul> </ol> <input type = "button" value = "Submit" onclick="getResults()"> <input type = "reset" value = "Clear"></input> <textarea id="result">The right phone for you will be displayed here.</textarea> </html> <script> function getResults() { if (document.getElementById('q1_1').checked && document.getElementById('q2_1').checked && document.getElementById('q3_1').checked && document.getElementById('q4_1').checked && document.getElementById('q5_1').checked && document.getElementById('q6_1').checked && document.getElementById('q7_1').checked && document.getElementById('q8_1').checked && document.getElementById('q9_1').checked && document.getElementById('q10_1').checked ) { document.getElementById('result').innerHTML = 'Unfortunately, the iPhone is the right phone for you.'; } } </script> </body> But it's just too long winded. Is there any other ways I can design a quiz like this but without having to write a block of code for each radio button?

    Read the article

  • Book Review: Brownfield Application Development in .NET

    - by DotNetBlues
    I recently finished reading the book Brownfield Application Development in .NET by Kyle Baley and Donald Belcham.  The book is available from Manning.  First off, let me say that I'm a huge fan of Manning as a publisher.  I've found their books to be top-quality, over all.  As a Kindle owner, I also appreciate getting an ebook copy along with the dead tree copy.  I find ebooks to be much more convenient to read, but hard-copies are easier to reference. The book covers, surprisingly enough, working with brownfield applications.  Which is well and good, if that term has meaning to you.  It didn't for me.  Without retreading a chunk of the first chapter, the authors break code bases into three broad categories: greenfield, brownfield, and legacy.  Greenfield is, essentially, new development that hasn't had time to rust and is (hopefully) being approached with some discipline.  Legacy applications are those that are more or less stable and functional, that do not expect to see a lot of work done to them, and are more likely to be replaced than reworked. Brownfield code is the gray (brown?) area between the two and the authors argue, quite effectively, that it is the most likely state for an application to be in.  Brownfield code has, in some way, been allowed to tarnish around the edges and can be difficult to work with.  Although I hadn't realized it, most of the code I've worked on has been brownfield.  Sometimes, there's talk of scrapping and starting over.  Sometimes, the team dismisses increased discipline as ivory tower nonsense.  And, sometimes, I've been the ignorant culprit vexing my future self. The book is broken into two major sections, plus an introduction chapter and an appendix.  The first section covers what the authors refer to as "The Ecosystem" which consists of version control, build and integration, testing, metrics, and defect management.  The second section is on actually writing code for brownfield applications and discusses object-oriented principles, architecture, external dependencies, and, of course, how to deal with these when coming into an existing code base. The ecosystem section is just shy of 140 pages long and brings some real meat to the matter.  The focus on "pain points" immediately sets the tone as problem-solution, rather than academic.  The authors also approach some of the topics from a different angle than some essays I've read on similar topics.  For example, the chapter on automated testing is on just that -- automated testing.  It's all well and good to criticize a project as conflating integration tests with unit tests, but it really doesn't make anyone's life better.  The discussion on testing is more focused on the "right" level of testing for existing projects.  Sometimes, an integration test is the best you can do without gutting a section of functional code.  Even if you can sell other developers and/or management on doing so, it doesn't actually provide benefit to your customers to rewrite code that works.  This isn't to say the authors encourage sloppy coding.  Far from it.  Just that they point out the wisdom of ignoring the sleeping bear until after you deal with the snarling wolf. The other sections take a similarly real-world, workable approach to the pain points they address.  As the section moves from technical solutions like version control and continuous integration (CI) to the softer, process issues of metrics and defect tracking, the authors begin to gently suggest moving toward a zero defect count.  While that really sounds like an unreasonable goal for a lot of ongoing projects, it's quite apparent that the authors have first-hand experience with taming some gruesome projects.  The suggestions are grounded and workable, and the difficulty of some situations is explicitly acknowledged. I have to admit that I started getting bored by the end of the ecosystem section.  No matter how valuable I think a good project manager or business analyst is to a successful ALM, at the end of the day, I'm a gear-head.  Also, while I agreed with a lot of the ecosystem ideas, in theory, I didn't necessarily feel that a lot of the single-developer projects that I'm often involved in really needed that level of rigor.  It's only after reading the sidebars and commentary in the coding section that I had the context for the arguments made in favor of a strong ecosystem supporting the development process.  That isn't to say that I didn't support good product management -- indeed, I've probably pushed too hard, on occasion, for a strong ALM outside of just development.  This book gave me deeper insight into why some corners shouldn't be cut and how damaging certain sins of omission can be. The code section, though, kept me engaged for its entirety.  Many technical books can be used as reference material from day one.  The authors were clear, however, that this book is not one of these.  The first chapter of the section (chapter seven, over all) addresses object oriented (OO) practices.  I've read any number of definitions, discussions, and treatises on OO.  None of the chapter was new to me, but it was a good review, and I'm of the opinion that it's good to review the foundations of what you do, from time to time, so I didn't mind. The remainder of the book is really just about how to apply OOP to existing code -- and, just because all your code exists in classes does not mean that it's object oriented.  That topic has the potential to be extremely condescending, but the authors miraculously managed to never once make me feel like a dolt or that they were wagging their finger at me for my prior sins.  Instead, they continue the "pain points" and problem-solution presentation to give concrete examples of how to apply some pretty academic-sounding ideas.  That's a point worth emphasizing, as my experience with most OO discussions is that they stay in the academic realm.  This book gives some very, very good explanations of why things like the Liskov Substitution Principle exist and why a corporate programmer should even care.  Even if you know, with absolute certainty, that you'll never have to work on an existing code-base, I would recommend this book just for the clarity it provides on OOP. This book goes beyond just theory, or even real-world application.  It presents some methods for fixing problems that any developer can, and probably will, encounter in the wild.  First, the authors address refactoring application layers and internal dependencies.  Then, they take you through those layers from the UI to the data access layer and external dependencies.  Finally, they come full circle to tie it all back to the overall process.  By the time the book is done, you're left with a lot of ideas, but also a reasonable plan to begin to improve an existing project structure. Throughout the book, it's apparent that the authors have their own preferred methodology (TDD and domain-driven design), as well as some preferred tools.  The "Our .NET Toolbox" is something of a neon sign pointing to that latter point.  They do not beat the reader over the head with anything resembling a "One True Way" mentality.  Even for the most emphatic points, the tone is quite congenial and helpful.  With some of the near-theological divides that exist within the tech community, I found this to be one of the more remarkable characteristics of the book.  Although the authors favor tools that might be considered Alt.NET, there is no reason the advice and techniques given couldn't be quite successful in a pure Microsoft shop with Team Foundation Server.  For that matter, even though the book specifically addresses .NET, it could be applied to a Java and Oracle shop, as well.

    Read the article

  • Advice for a distracted, unhappy, recently graduated programmer? [closed]

    - by Re-Invent
    I graduated 4 months ago. I had offers from a few good places to work at. At the same time I wanted to stick to building a small software business of my own, still have some ideas with good potential, some half done projects frozen in my github. But due to social pressures, I chose a job, the pay is great, but I am half-passionate about it. A small team of smart folks building useful product, working out contracts across the world. I've started finding it extremely boring. Boring to the extent that I skip 2-3 days a week together not doing work. Neither do I spend that time progressing any of my own projects. Yes, I feel stupid at the way I'm wasting time, but I don't understand exactly why is it happening. It's as if all the excitement has been drained. What can I do about it? Long version: School - I was in third standard. Only students, 6th grade had access to computer labs. I once peeked into the lab from the little door opening. No hard-disks, MS DOS on 5 1/2 inch floppies. I asked a senior student to play some sound in BASIC. He used PLAY to compose a tune. Boy! I was so excited, I was jumping from within. Back home, asked my brother to teach me some programming. We bought a book "MODERN All About GW-BASIC for Schools & Colleges". The book had everything, right from printing, to taking input, file i/o, game programming, machine level support, etc. I was in 6th standard, wrote my first game - a wheel of fortune, rotated the wheel by manipulating 16 color palette's definition. Got internet soon, got hooked to QuickBasic programming community. Made some more games "007 in Danger", "Car Crush 2" for submission to allbasiccode archives. I was extremely excited about all this. My interests now swayed into "hacking" (computer security). Taught myself some perl, found it annoying, learnt PHP and a bit of SQL. Also taught myself Visual Basic one of the winters and wrote a pacman clone with Direct X. By the time I was in 10th standard, I created some evil tools using visual basic, php and mysql and eventually landed myself into an unpaid side-job at a government facility, building evil tools for them. It was a dream come true for crackers of that time. And so was I, still very excited. Things changed soon, last two years of school were not so great as I was balancing preps for college, work at govt. and studies for school at same time. College - College was opposite of all I had wished it to be. I imagined it to be a place where I'd spend my 4 years building something awesome. It was rather an epitome of rote learning, attendance, rules, busy schedules, ban on personal laptops, hardly any hackers surrounding you and shit like that. We had to take permissions to even introduce some cultural/creative activities in our annual schedule. The labs won't be open on weekends because the lab employees had to have their leaves. Yes, a horrible place for someone like me. I still managed to pull out a project with a friend over 2 months. Showed it to people high in the academia hierarchy. They were immensely impressed, we proposed to allow personal computers for students. They made up half-assed reasons and didn't agree. We felt frustrated. And so on, I still managed to teach myself new languages, do new projects of my own, do an intern at the same govt. facility, start a small business for sometime, give a talk at a conference I'm passionate about, win game-dev and hacking contest at most respected colleges, solve good deal of programming contest problems, etc. At the same time I was not content with all these restrictions, great emphasis on rote learning, and sheer wastage of time due to college. I never felt I was overdoing, but now I feel I burnt myself out. During my last days at college, I did an intern at a bigco. While I spent my time building prototypes for certain LBS, the other interns around me, even a good friend, was just skipping time. I thought maybe, in a few weeks he would put in some serious efforts at work assigned to him, but all he did was to find creative ways to skip work, hide his face from manager, engage people in talks if they try to question his progress, etc. I tried a few time to get him on track, but it seems all he wanted was to "not to work hard at all and still reap the fruits". I don't know how others take such people, but I find their vicinity very very poisonous to one's own motivation and productivity. Over that, the place where I come from, HRs don't give much value to what have you done past 4 years. So towards the end of out intern, we all were offered work at the bigco, but the slacker, even after not writing more than 200 lines of code was made a much better offer. I felt enraged instantly - "Is this how the corp world treats someone who does fruitful, if not extra-ordinary work form them for past 6 months?". Yes, I did try to negotiate and debate. The bigcos seem blind due to departmentalization of responsibilities and many layers of management. I decided not to be in touch with any characters of that depressing play. Probably the busy time I had at college, ignoring friends, ignoring fun and squeezing every bit of free time for myself is also responsible. Probably this is what has drained all my willingness to work for anyone. I find my day job boring, at the same time I with to maintain it for financial reasons. I feel a bit burnt out, unsatisfied and at the same time an urge to quit working for someone else and start finishing my frozen side-projects (which may be profitable). Though I haven't got much to support myself with food, office, internet bills, etc in savings. I still have my day job, but I don't find it very interesting, even though the pay is higher than the slacker, I don't find money to be a great motivator here. I keep comparing myself to my past version. I wonder how to get rid of this and reboot myself back to the way I was in school days - excited about it, tinkering, building, learning new things daily, and NOT BORED?

    Read the article

  • CodePlex Daily Summary for Thursday, May 20, 2010

    CodePlex Daily Summary for Thursday, May 20, 2010New ProjectsAlphaChannel: Closed projectAragon Online Client: The Aragon Online Client is a front-end application allowing users to play the online game http://aragon-online.net The client fetches game data a...BISBCarManager: Car managerBlammo.Net: Blammo.Net is a simple logging system that allows for multiple files, has simple configuration, and is modular.C# IMAPI2 Samples: This project is my effort to port the VB Script IMAPI2 samples to C# 4.0 and provide CD/DVD Burning capabilities in C#. This takes advantage of th...DemotToolkit: A toolbox to help you enjoy the demotivators.FMI Silverlight Course: This is the site for the final project of the Silverlight course taught at the Sofia University in the summer semester of 2010.InfoPath Publisher Helper: Building a large set of InfoPath Templates? Bored of the repetive stsadm commands to deploy an online form? This tool will allow you to submit ...JSBallBounce - HTML5 Stereocopy: A demo of basic stereoscopy in HTML5Kindler: Kindler allows you to easily convert simply HTML into documents that can be easily read on the Amazon Kindle.Maybe: Maybe or IfNotNull using lambdas for deep expressions. int? CityId= employee.Maybe(e=>e.Person.Address.City);PopCorn Project : play music with system beeps: PopCorn is an application that can play monophonic music through system beeps. You can launch music on the local machine, or on a remote server thr...RuneScape 2 Chronos - Emulation done right.: RuneScape 2 Chronos is a RuneScape 2 Emulator framework. It is completely open-source and is programmed in a way in which should be simpler for it'...RWEntregas: Projeto do Rogrigo e Wender referente a entregasSilverAmp: A media player to demonstrate lots of new Silverlight 4 features. Running out of browser and reading files from the MyMusic folder are two of them....Silverlight Scheduler: A light-weight silverlight scheduler control.SimpleContainer: SimpleContainer is very simple IoC container that consists of one class that implements two remarkable methods: one for registration and one for re...sqlserverextensions: This project will provide some use operations for files and directories. Further development will include extended string operations.TechWorks Portugal Sample BI Project: Techworks is a complete Microsoft BI sample project customized for Portugal to be used in demo and learning scenarios. It is based in SQL Server 20...Test4Proj: Test4ProjTV Show Renamer: TV Show Renamer is a program that is designed to take files downloaded off the internet and rename them to a more user friendly file name. It is fo...UnFreeZeMouSeW7: This small application disable or enable the standby mode on Windows 7 devices. As the mouse pointer freezes or the latency increase on some device...VianaNET - Videoanalysis for physical motion: The VianaNET project targets physics education. The software enables to analyze the motion of colored objects in life-video and video files. The da...Visual Studio 2010 extension for helping SharePoint 2010 debugging: This is a Visual Studio 2010 extensibility project that extends the debugging support for the built-in SharePoint 2010 tools with new menu items an...Visual Studio 2010 Load Test Plugins Library: Useful plugin library for Visual Studio Load Test 2010 version. (Best for web tests).VMware Lab Manager Powershell Cmdlet: This is a simple powershell cmdlet which connects you with the VMware lab manager internal soap api.Webgame UI: Bot to webgameNew ReleasesActipro WPF Controls Contrib: v2010.1: Minor tweaks and updated to target Actipro WPF Studio 2010.1. Addition of Editors.Interop.Datagrid project, which allows Actipro Editors for WPF t...Blammo.Net: Blammo.Net 1.0: This is the initial release of Blammo.Net.Build Version Increment Add-In Visual Studio: Shared Assembly Info Setup: Example solution that makes use of one shared assembly info file.CSS 360 Planetary Calendar: Zero Feature Release: =============================================================================== Zero Feature Release Version: 0.0 Description: This is a binar...DotNetNuke® Community Edition: 05.04.02: Updated the Installation Wizard's Polish & German language packs. Improved performance of Sql script for listing modules by portal. Improved De...DotNetNuke® Store: 02.01.36: What's New in this release? Bugs corrected: - The reference to resource.zip has been commented in the Install package. Sorry for that it's my mista...Extend SmallBasic: Teaching Extensions v.016: added turtle tree quizExtremeML: ExtremeML v1.0 Beta 2: Following the decision to terminate development of the Premium Edition of ExtremeML, this release includes all code previously restricted to the Pr...InfoPath Publisher Helper: 1st Release: InfoPath Publisher Helper Tool The version is mostly stable. There are some UI errors, which can be ignored. The code has not been cleaned up so t...JSBallBounce - HTML5 Stereocopy: HTML5 Stereoscopic Bouncing Balls Demo: Stereoscopic rendering in HTML5kdar: KDAR 0.0.22: KDAR - Kernel Debugger Anti Rootkit - signature's bases updated - ALPC port jbject check added - tcpip internal critical area checks added - some ...Lightweight Fluent Workflow: Objectflow core: Release Notes Fixed minor defects Framework changes Added IsFalse for boolean conditions Defects fixed IsTrue works with Not operator Installati...LiquidSilver SharePoint Framework: LiquidSilver 0.2.0.0 Beta: Changes in this version: - Fixed a bug in HgListItem when parsing double and int fields. - Added the LiquidSilver.Extra project. - Added the Liquid...Matrix: MatrixPlugin-0.5.1: Works with UniqueRoutes plugin on Google Code Works in Linux (path changes, variable usage etc) Builds .st2plugin by default Adapted to ST3MRDS Samples: MRDS Samples 1.0: Initial Release Please read the installation instructions on the Read Me page carefully before you unzip the samples. This ZIP file contains sourc...PopCorn Project : play music with system beeps: Popcorn v0.1: 1st beta releaseRuneScape 2 Chronos - Emulation done right.: Revision 0: Alpha stage of the Chronos source.SCSI Interface for Multimedia and Block Devices: Release 13 - Integrated Shell, x64 Fixes, and more: Changes from the previous version: - Added an integrated shell browser to the program and removed the Add/Remove File/Folder buttons, since the she...Silverlight Console: Silverlight Console Release 2: Release contains: - Orktane.Console.dll - Orktane.ScriptActions.dll Release targets: - Silverlight 4 Dependencies: - nRoute.Toolkit for Silverlig...SimpleContainer: SimpleContainer: Initial release of SimpleContainer library.Springshield Sample Site for EPiServer CMS: Springshield 1.0: City of Springshield - The accessible sample site for EPiServer CMS 6. Read the readme.txt on how to install.SQL Trim: 20100519: Improved releasesqlserverextensions: V 0.1 alpha: Version 0.1 Alphasvchost viewer: svchost viewer ver. 0.5.0.1: Got some feedback from a user, with some nice ideas so here they are: • Made the program resizable. • Program now saves the size and position when...Tribe.Cache: Tribe.Cache RC: Release Candidate There are breaking changes between BETA and RC :- 1) Cache Dictionary is now not exposed to the client. 2) Completly Thread Sa...TV Show Renamer: TV Show Renamer: This is the first public release. Don't worry that it is version 2.1 that is because i keep adding features to it and then upping the version numbe...UnFreeZeMouSeW7: UnFreeZeMouSeW7 0.1: First releaseVCC: Latest build, v2.1.30519.0: Automatic drop of latest buildVianaNET - Videoanalysis for physical motion: VianaNET V1.1 - alpha: This is the first alpha release of the completely rewritten Viana. Known issues are: - sometimes black frame at initial load of video - no abilit...visinia: visinia_1: The beta is gone, the visinia is here with visinia 1. now you can confidently install visinia use visinia and enjoy visinia. This version of visini...visinia: visinia_1_Src: The beta is gone, the visinia is here with visinia 1. now you can confidently install visinia use visinia and enjoy visinia. This version of visini...Visual Studio 2010 extension for helping SharePoint 2010 debugging: 1.0 First public release: The extension is released as a Visual Studio 2010 solution. See my related blog post at http://pholpar.wordpress.com/2010/05/20/visual-studio-2010-...Visual Studio 2010 Load Test Plugins Library: version 1 stable: version 1 stableVMware Lab Manager Powershell Cmdlet: LMCmdlet 1.0.0: first Release. You need to be an Administrator to install this cmdlet. After you run setup open powershell type: Get-PSSnapin -Registered you sh...WF Personalplaner: Personalplaner v1.7.29.10139: - Wenn ein Schema erstellt wird mit der Checkbox "Als neues Schema speichern" wurde pro Person ein Schema erstellt - Wenn ein Pensum geändert wurde...XAM.NET: XAM 1.0p2 + Issue Tracker 8396: Patch release for Issue Tracker 8396Xrns2XMod: Xrns2XMod 1.2: Fixed 32 bit flac conversion - Thanks to Yuri for updating FlacBox librariesMost Popular ProjectsRawrWBFS ManagerAJAX Control ToolkitMicrosoft SQL Server Product Samples: DatabaseSilverlight ToolkitWindows Presentation Foundation (WPF)patterns & practices – Enterprise LibraryMicrosoft SQL Server Community & SamplesPHPExcelASP.NETMost Active Projectspatterns & practices – Enterprise LibraryRawrPHPExcelGMap.NET - Great Maps for Windows Forms & PresentationCustomer Portal Accelerator for Microsoft Dynamics CRMBlogEngine.NETWindows Azure Command-line Tools for PHP DevelopersCassiniDev - Cassini 3.5/4.0 Developers EditionSQL Server PowerShell ExtensionsFluent Ribbon Control Suite

    Read the article

  • Are your personal insecurities screwing up your internal communications?

    - by Lucy Boyes
    I do some internal comms as part of my job. Quite a lot of it involves talking to people about stuff. I’m spending the next couple of weeks talking to lots of people about internal comms itself, because we haven’t done a lot of audience/user feedback gathering, and it turns out that if you talk to people about how they feel and what they think, you get some pretty interesting insights (and an idea of what to do next that isn’t just based on guesswork and generalising from self). Three things keep coming up from talking to people about what we suck at  in terms of internal comms. And, as far as I can tell, they’re all examples where personal insecurity on the part of the person doing the communicating makes the experience much worse for the people on the receiving end. 1. Spending time telling people how you’re going to do something, not what you’re doing and why Imagine you’ve got to give an update to a lot of people who don’t work in your area or department but do have an interest in what you’re doing (either because they want to know because they’re curious or because they need to know because it’s going to affect their work too). You don’t want to look bad at your job. You want to make them think you’ve got it covered – ideally because you do*. And you want to reassure them that there’s lots of exciting work going on in your area to make [insert thing of choice] happen to [insert thing of choice] so that [insert group of people] will be happy. That’s great! You’re doing a good job and you want to tell people about it. This is good comms stuff right here. However, you’re slightly afraid you might secretly be stupid or lazy or incompetent. And you’re exponentially more afraid that the people you’re talking to might think you’re stupid or lazy or incompetent. Or pointless. Or not-adding-value. Or whatever the thing that’s the worst possible thing to be in your company is. So you open by mentioning all the stuff you’re going to do, spending five minutes or so making sure that everyone knows that you’re DOING lots of STUFF. And the you talk for the rest of the time about HOW you’re going to do the stuff, because that way everyone will know that you’ve thought about this really hard and done tons of planning and had lots of great ideas about process and that you’ve got this one down. That’s the stuff you’ve got to say, right? To prove you’re not fundamentally worthless as a human being? Well, maybe. But probably not. See, the people who need to know how you’re going to do the stuff are the people doing the stuff. And those are the people in your area who you’ve (hopefully-please-for-the-love-of-everything-holy) already talked to in depth about how you’re going to do the thing (because else how could they help do it?). They are the only people who need to know the how**. It’s the difference between strategy and tactics. The people outside of your bubble of stuff-doing need to know the strategy – what it is that you’re doing, why, where you’re going with it, etc. The people on the ground with you need the strategy and the tactics, because else they won’t know how to do the stuff. But the outside people don’t really need the tactics at all. Don’t bother with the how unless your audience needs it. They probably don’t. It might make you feel better about yourself, but it’s much more likely that Bob and Jane are thinking about how long this meeting has gone on for already than how personally impressive and definitely-not-an-idiot you are for knowing how you’re going to do some work. Feeling marginally better about yourself (but, let’s face it, still insecure as heck) is not worth the cost, which in this case is the alienation of your audience. 2. Talking for too long about stuff This is kinda the same problem as the previous problem, only much less specific, and I’ve more or less covered why it’s bad already. Basic motivation: to make people think you’re not an idiot. What you do: talk for a very long time about what you’re doing so as to make it sound like you know what you’re doing and lots about it. What your audience wants: the shortest meaningful update. Some of this is a kill your darlings problem – the stuff you’re doing that seems really nifty to you seems really nifty to you, and thus you want to share it with everyone to show that you’re a smart person who thinks up nifty things to do. The downside to this is that it’s mostly only interesting to you – if other people don’t need to know, they likely also don’t care. Think about how you feel when someone is talking a lot to you about a lot of stuff that they’re doing which is at best tangentially interesting and/or relevant. You’re probably not thinking that they’re really smart and clearly know what they’re doing (unless they’re talking a lot and being really engaging about it, which is not the same as talking a lot). You’re probably thinking about something totally unrelated to the thing they’re talking about. Or the fact that you’re bored. You might even – and this is the opposite of what they’re hoping to achieve by talking a lot about stuff – be thinking they’re kind of an idiot. There’s another huge advantage to paring down what you’re trying to say to the barest possible points – it clarifies your thinking. The lightning talk format, as well as other formats which limit the time and/or number of slides you have to say a thing, are really good for doing this. It’s incredibly likely that your audience in this case (the people who need to know some things about your thing but not all the things about your thing) will get everything they need to know from five minutes of you talking about it, especially if trying to condense ALL THE THINGS into a five-minute talk has helped you get clear in your own mind what you’re doing, what you’re trying to say about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. The bonus of this is that by being clear in your thoughts and in what you say, and in not taking up lots of people’s time to tell them stuff they don’t really need to know, you actually come across as much, much smarter than the person who talks for half an hour or more about things that are semi-relevant at best. 3. Waiting until you’ve got every detail sorted before announcing a big change to the people affected by it This is the worst crime on the list. It’s also human nature. Announcing uncertainty – that something important is going to happen (big reorganisation, product getting canned, etc.) but you’re not quite sure what or when or how yet – is scary. There are risks to it. Uncertainty makes people anxious. It might even paralyse them. You can’t run a business while you’re figuring out what to do if you’ve paralysed everyone with fear over what the future might bring. And you’re scared that they might think you’re not the right person to be in charge of [thing] if you don’t even know what you’re doing with it. Best not to say anything until you know exactly what’s going to happen and you can reassure them all, right? Nope. The people who are going to be affected by whatever it is that you don’t quite know all the details of yet aren’t stupid***. You wouldn’t have hired them if they were. They know something’s up because you’ve got your guilty face on and you keep pulling people into meeting rooms and looking vaguely worried. Here’s the deal: it’s a lot less stressful for everyone (including you) if you’re up front from the beginning. We took this approach during a recent company-wide reorganisation and got really positive feedback. People would much, much rather be told that something is going to happen but you’re not entirely sure what it is yet than have you wait until it’s all fixed up and then fait accompli the heck out of them. They will tell you this themselves if you ask them. And here’s why: by waiting until you know exactly what’s going on to communicate, you remove any agency that the people that the thing is going to happen to might otherwise have had. I know you’re scared that they might get scared – and that’s natural and kind of admirable – but it’s also patronising and infantilising. Ask someone whether they’d rather work on a project which has an openly uncertain future from the beginning, or one where everything’s great until it gets shut down with no forewarning, and very few people are going to tell you they’d prefer the latter. Uncertainty is humanising. It’s you admitting that you don’t have all the answers, which is great, because no one does. It allows you to be consultative – you can actually ask other people what they think and how they feel and what they’d like to do and what they think you should do, and they’ll thank you for it and feel listened to and respected as people and colleagues. Which is a really good reason to start talking to them about what’s going on as soon as you know something’s going on yourself. All of the above assumes you actually care about talking to the people who work with you and for you, and that you’d like to do the right thing by them. If that’s not the case, you can cheerfully disregard the advice here, but if it is, you might want to think about the ways above – and the inevitable countless other ways – that making internal communication about you and not about your audience could actually be doing the people you’re trying to communicate with a huge disservice. So take a deep breath and talk. For five minutes or so. About the important things. Not the other things. As soon as you possibly can. And you’ll be fine.   *Of course you do. You’re good at your job. Don’t worry. **This might not always be true, but it is most of the time. Other people who need to know the how will either be people who you’ve already identified as needing-to-know and thus part of the same set as the people in you’re area you’ve already discussed this with, or else they’ll ask you. But don’t bring this stuff up unless someone asks for it, because most of the people in the audience really don’t care and you’re wasting their time. ***I mean, they might be. But let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re not.

    Read the article

  • Handling a Long Running jsp request on the server using Ajax and threads

    - by John Blue
    I am trying to implement a solution for a long running process on the server where it is taking about 10 min to process a pdf generation request. The browser bored/timesout at the 5 mins. I was thinking to deal with this using a Ajax and threads. I am using regular javascript for ajax. But I am stuck with it. I have reached till the point where it sends the request to the servlet and the servlet starts the thread.Please see the below code public class HelloServlet extends javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet implements javax.servlet.Servlet { protected void doGet(HttpServletRequest request, HttpServletResponse response) throws ServletException, IOException { } protected void doPost(HttpServletRequest request, HttpServletResponse response) throws ServletException, IOException { System.out.println("POST request!!"); LongProcess longProcess = new LongProcess(); longProcess.setDaemon(true); longProcess.start(); request.getSession().setAttribute("longProcess", longProcess); request.getRequestDispatcher("index.jsp").forward(request, response); } } class LongProcess extends Thread { public void run() { System.out.println("Thread Started!!"); while (progress < 10) { try { sleep(2000); } catch (InterruptedException ignore) {} progress++; } } } Here is my AJax call <!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/html4/loose.dtd"> <html><head> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1"> <title>My Title</title> <script language="JavaScript" > function getXMLObject() //XML OBJECT { var xmlHttp = false; xmlHttp = new XMLHttpRequest(); //For Mozilla, Opera Browsers return xmlHttp; // Mandatory Statement returning the ajax object created } var xmlhttp = new getXMLObject(); //xmlhttp holds the ajax object function ajaxFunction() { xmlhttp.open("GET","HelloServlet" ,true); xmlhttp.onreadystatechange = handleServerResponse; xmlhttp.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'application/x-www-form-urlencoded'); xmlhttp.send(null); } function handleServerResponse() { if (xmlhttp.readyState == 4) { if(xmlhttp.status == 200) { document.forms[0].myDiv.value = xmlhttp.responseText; setTimeout(ajaxFunction(), 2000); } else { alert("Error during AJAX call. Please try again"); } } } function openPDF() { document.forms[0].method = "POST"; document.forms[0].action = "HelloServlet"; document.forms[0].submit(); } function stopAjax(){ clearInterval(intervalID); } </script> </head> <body><form name="myForm"> <table><tr><td> <INPUT TYPE="BUTTON" NAME="Download" VALUE="Download Queue ( PDF )" onclick="openPDF();"> </td></tr> <tr><td> Current status: <div id="myDiv"></div>% </td></tr></table> </form></body></html> But I dont know how to proceed further like how will the thread communicate the browser that the process has complete and how should the ajax call me made and check the status of the request. Please let me know if I am missing some pieces. Any suggestion if helpful.

    Read the article

  • The Art of Productivity

    - by dwahlin
    Getting things done has always been a challenge regardless of gender, age, race, skill, or job position. No matter how hard some people try, they end up procrastinating tasks until the last minute. Some people simply focus better when they know they’re out of time and can’t procrastinate any longer. How many times have you put off working on a term paper in school until the very last minute? With only a few hours left your mental energy and focus seem to kick in to high gear especially as you realize that you either get the paper done now or risk failing. It’s amazing how a little pressure can turn into a motivator and allow our minds to focus on a given task. Some people seem to specialize in procrastinating just about everything they do while others tend to be the “doers” who get a lot done and ultimately rise up the ladder at work. What’s the difference between these types of people? Is it pure laziness or are other factors at play? I think that some people are certainly more motivated than others, but I also think a lot of it is based on the process that “doers” tend to follow - whether knowingly or unknowingly. While I’ve certainly fought battles with procrastination, I’ve always had a knack for being able to get a lot done in a relatively short amount of time. I think a lot of my “get it done” attitude goes back to the the strong work ethic my parents instilled in me at a young age. I remember my dad saying, “You need to learn to work hard!” when I was around 5 years old. I remember that moment specifically because I was on a tractor with him the first time I heard it while he was trying to move some large rocks into a pile. The tractor was big but so were the rocks and my dad had to balance the tractor perfectly so that it didn’t tip forward too far. It was challenging work and somewhat tedious but my dad finished the task and taught me a few important lessons along the way including persistence, the importance of having a skill, and getting the job done right without skimping along the way. In this post I’m going to list a few of the techniques and processes I follow that I hope may be beneficial to others. I blogged about the general concept back in 2009 but thought I’d share some updated information and lessons learned since then. Most of the ideas that follow came from learning and refining my daily work process over the years. However, since most of the ideas are common sense (at least in my opinion), I suspect they can be found in other productivity processes that are out there. Let’s start off with one of the most important yet simple tips: Start Each Day with a List. Start Each Day with a List What are you planning to get done today? Do you keep track of everything in your head or rely on your calendar? While most of us think that we’re pretty good at managing “to do” lists strictly in our head you might be surprised at how affective writing out lists can be. By writing out tasks you’re forced to focus on the most important tasks to accomplish that day, commit yourself to those tasks, and have an easy way to track what was supposed to get done and what actually got done. Start every morning by making a list of specific tasks that you want to accomplish throughout the day. I’ll even go so far as to fill in times when I’d like to work on tasks if I have a lot of meetings or other events tying up my calendar on a given day. I’m not a big fan of using paper since I type a lot faster than I write (plus I write like a 3rd grader according to my wife), so I use the Sticky Notes feature available in Windows. Here’s an example of yesterday’s sticky note: What do you add to your list? That’s the subject of the next tip. Focus on Small Tasks It’s no secret that focusing on small, manageable tasks is more effective than trying to focus on large and more vague tasks. When you make your list each morning only add tasks that you can accomplish within a given time period. For example, if I only have 30 minutes blocked out to work on an article I don’t list “Write Article”. If I do that I’ll end up wasting 30 minutes stressing about how I’m going to get the article done in 30 minutes and ultimately get nothing done. Instead, I’ll list something like “Write Introductory Paragraphs for Article”. The next day I may add, “Write first section of article” or something that’s small and manageable – something I’m confident that I can get done. You’ll find that once you’ve knocked out several smaller tasks it’s easy to continue completing others since you want to keep the momentum going. In addition to keeping my tasks focused and small, I also make a conscious effort to limit my list to 4 or 5 tasks initially. I’ve found that if I list more than 5 tasks I feel a bit overwhelmed which hurts my productivity. It’s easy to add additional tasks as you complete others and you get the added benefit of that confidence boost of knowing that you’re being productive and getting things done as you remove tasks and add others. Getting Started is the Hardest (Yet Easiest) Part I’ve always found that getting started is the hardest part and one of the biggest contributors to procrastination. Getting started working on tasks is a lot like getting a large rock pushed to the bottom of a hill. It’s difficult to get the rock rolling at first, but once you manage to get it rocking some it’s really easy to get it rolling on its way to the bottom. As an example, I’ve written 100s of articles for technical magazines over the years and have really struggled with the initial introductory paragraphs. Keep in mind that these are the paragraphs that don’t really add that much value (in my opinion anyway). They introduce the reader to the subject matter and nothing more. What a waste of time for me to sit there stressing about how to start the article. On more than one occasion I’ve spent more than an hour trying to come up with 2-3 paragraphs of text.  Talk about a productivity killer! Whether you’re struggling with a writing task, some code for a project, an email, or other tasks, jumping in without thinking too much is the best way to get started I’ve found. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have an overall plan when jumping into a task, but on some occasions you’ll find that if you simply jump into the task and stop worrying about doing everything perfectly that things will flow more smoothly. For my introductory paragraph problem I give myself 5 minutes to write out some general concepts about what I know the article will cover and then spend another 10-15 minutes going back and refining that information. That way I actually have some ideas to work with rather than a blank sheet of paper. If I still find myself struggling I’ll write the rest of the article first and then circle back to the introductory paragraphs once I’m done. To sum this tip up: Jump into a task without thinking too hard about it. It’s better to to get the rock at the top of the hill rocking some than doing nothing at all. You can always go back and refine your work.   Learn a Productivity Technique and Stick to It There are a lot of different productivity programs and seminars out there being sold by companies. I’ve always laughed at how much money people spend on some of these motivational programs/seminars because I think that being productive isn’t that hard if you create a re-useable set of steps and processes to follow. That’s not to say that some of these programs/seminars aren’t worth the money of course because I know they’ve definitely benefited some people that have a hard time getting things done and staying focused. One of the best productivity techniques I’ve ever learned is called the “Pomodoro Technique” and it’s completely free. This technique is an extremely simple way to manage your time without having to remember a bunch of steps, color coding mechanisms, or other processes. The technique was originally developed by Francesco Cirillo in the 80s and can be implemented with a simple timer. In a nutshell here’s how the technique works: Pick a task to work on Set the timer to 25 minutes and work on the task Once the timer rings record your time Take a 5 minute break Repeat the process Here’s why the technique works well for me: It forces me to focus on a single task for 25 minutes. In the past I had no time goal in mind and just worked aimlessly on a task until I got interrupted or bored. 25 minutes is a small enough chunk of time for me to stay focused. Any distractions that may come up have to wait until after the timer goes off. If the distraction is really important then I stop the timer and record my time up to that point. When the timer is running I act as if I only have 25 minutes total for the task (like you’re down to the last 25 minutes before turning in your term paper….frantically working to get it done) which helps me stay focused and turns into a “beat the clock” type of game. It’s actually kind of fun if you treat it that way and really helps me focus on a the task at hand. I automatically know how much time I’m spending on a given task (more on this later) by using this technique. I know that I have 5 minutes after each pomodoro (the 25 minute sprint) to waste on anything I’d like including visiting a website, stepping away from the computer, etc. which also helps me stay focused when the 25 minute timer is counting down. I use this technique so much that I decided to build a program for Windows 8 called Pomodoro Focus (I plan to blog about how it was built in a later post). It’s a Windows Store application that allows people to track tasks, productive time spent on tasks, interruption time experienced while working on a given task, and the number of pomodoros completed. If a time estimate is given when the task is initially created, Pomodoro Focus will also show the task completion percentage. I like it because it allows me to track my tasks, time spent on tasks (very useful in the consulting world), and even how much time I wasted on tasks (pressing the pause button while working on a task starts the interruption timer). I recently added a new feature that charts productive and interruption time for tasks since I wanted to see how productive I was from week to week and month to month. A few screenshots from the Pomodoro Focus app are shown next, I had a lot of fun building it and use it myself to as I work on tasks.   There are certainly many other productivity techniques and processes out there (and a slew of books describing them), but the Pomodoro Technique has been the simplest and most effective technique I’ve ever come across for staying focused and getting things done.   Persistence is Key Getting things done is great but one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is that persistence is key especially when you’re trying to get something done that at times seems insurmountable. Small tasks ultimately lead to larger tasks getting accomplished, however, it’s not all roses along the way as some of the smaller tasks may come with their own share of bumps and bruises that lead to discouragement about the end goal and whether or not it is worth achieving at all. I’ve been on several long-term projects over my career as a software developer (I have one personal project going right now that fits well here) and found that repeating, “Persistence is the key!” over and over to myself really helps. Not every project turns out to be successful, but if you don’t show persistence through the hard times you’ll never know if you succeeded or not. Likewise, if you don’t persistently stick to the process of creating a daily list, follow a productivity process, etc. then the odds of consistently staying productive aren’t good.   Track Your Time How much time do you actually spend working on various tasks? If you don’t currently track time spent answering emails, on phone calls, and working on various tasks then you might be surprised to find out that a task that you thought was going to take you 30 minutes ultimately ended up taking 2 hours. If you don’t track the time you spend working on tasks how can you expect to learn from your mistakes, optimize your time better, and become more productive? That’s another reason why I like the Pomodoro Technique – it makes it easy to stay focused on tasks while also tracking how much time I’m working on a given task.   Eliminate Distractions I blogged about this final tip several years ago but wanted to bring it up again. If you want to be productive (and ultimately successful at whatever you’re doing) then you can’t waste a lot of time playing games or on Twitter, Facebook, or other time sucking websites. If you see an article you’re interested in that has no relation at all to the tasks you’re trying to accomplish then bookmark it and read it when you have some spare time (such as during a pomodoro break). Fighting the temptation to check your friends’ status updates on Facebook? Resist the urge and realize how much those types of activities are hurting your productivity and taking away from your focus. I’ll admit that eliminating distractions is still tough for me personally and something I have to constantly battle. But, I’ve made a conscious decision to cut back on my visits and updates to Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and other sites. Sure, my Klout score has suffered as a result lately, but does anyone actually care about those types of scores aside from your online “friends” (few of whom you’ve actually met in person)? :-) Ultimately it comes down to self-discipline and how badly you want to be productive and successful in your career, life goals, hobbies, or whatever you’re working on. Rather than having your homepage take you to a time wasting news site, game site, social site, picture site, or others, how about adding something like the following as your homepage? Every time your browser opens you’ll see a personal message which helps keep you on the right track. You can download my ubber-sophisticated homepage here if interested. Summary Is there a single set of steps that if followed can ultimately lead to productivity? I don’t think so since one size has never fit all. Every person is different, works in their own unique way, and has their own set of motivators, distractions, and more. While I certainly don’t consider myself to be an expert on the subject of productivity, I do think that if you learn what steps work best for you and gradually refine them over time that you can come up with a personal productivity process that can serve you well. Productivity is definitely an “art” that anyone can learn with a little practice and persistence. You’ve seen some of the steps that I personally like to follow and I hope you find some of them useful in boosting your productivity. If you have others you use please leave a comment. I’m always looking for ways to improve.

    Read the article

  • Any way to view dynamic java content ex-post? Browser session still open

    - by Ryan
    I feel like a grandpa from 1996 asking this, but is it at all possible to view a representation of a particular screen that was rendered as part of a java-based online checkout process I executed a couple days ago? I haven't cleared my browser cache or temp files or anything, and I don't think I've restarted the comp or even the browser since. I'm using mac OS X 10.6.8, and the page(s) were viewed with Chrome version 21.0.1180.89 in standard mode (not incognito). Specifically the page in question was part of Verizon Wireless's 'iconic' contract/checkout process, which leads the user through several pages to make selections on various criteria and seems to be based on java. (Obviously I'm a dummy regarding web stuff so the question is probably not very well defined, I'm happy to elaborate). ^This is the tl;dr question. If it belongs on another site please just let me know. This is what I've been able to figure out on my own, for the bored / ultra-helpful / those who could use a laugh at a noob fumbling his way around cache files with no idea what he's doing: The progress through the selection pages is very clear in Chrome's browser history, the sequential pages are: https://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/accountholder/estore/phoneupgrade?execution=e3s2 https://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/accountholder/estore/phoneupgrade?execution=e3s3 https://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/accountholder/estore/phoneupgrade?execution=e3s4 https://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/accountholder/estore/phoneupgrade?execution=e3s5 https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/?format=JSON&value={%22action%22:%22START_ORDER%22,%22custType%22:%22EXISTING%22,%22orderType%22:%22UPGRADE%22,%22lookupMtn%22:%22*(NumberA)*%22,%22lineData%22:[{%22mtn%22:%22*(NumberA)*%22,%22upgType%22:%22ALTERNATE_UPGRADE%22,%22eligibleMtn%22:%22*(NumberB)*%22}]} https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicOrder.do?format=JSON&value={%22action%22:%22START_ORDER%22,%22custType%22:%22EXISTING%22,%22orderType%22:%22UPGRADE%22,%22lookupMtn%22:%22*(NumberA)*%22,%22lineData%22:[{%22mtn%22:%22*(NumberA)*%22,%22upgType%22:%22ALTERNATE_UPGRADE%22,%22eligibleMtn%22:%22*(NumberB)*%22}]} https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicEligibility.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicDeviceSelection.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/PlanOptions.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicFeatures.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicAccessories.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicShipmentBilling.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicReview.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicPaymentCreditInfo.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicConfirmation.do The visual representation I would need could come from any of these pages, as the necessary information was shown at the top of each of them (although the two with long URLs were just like redirects or something). Of course, clicking the link to the page in History right now requires a new sign-in and just returns the user to the initial step for doing the process again; it does not pull up a representation of the page as it was seen several days ago. This I understand. Instead using Chrome's integrated cache viewer by typing about:cache in the address bar, I can search and find links that appear to be relevant, when I click on the link I just get a http header and a bunch of hexadecimal gobbledygook. I've tried to use the URL at the top of the cache and URLs in the http headers, but they take me to current versions of those pages and not the versions I saw during the checkout process. I tried this with a few of them but stopped because I noticed that it updated the date in the http header to the present moment and I don't want to take chances overwriting the cache files since I don't know what I'm doing. The links to the cache files look like this: https://login.verizonwireless.com/amserver/UI/Login?realm=vzw&goto=https%3A%2F%2Fpreorder.verizonwireless.com%3A443%2Ficonic%2Ficonic%2Fsecured%2Fscreens%2FPlanOptions.do https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/screens/customerTypeOverlay.jsp https://verizonwireless.tt.omtrdc.net/m2/verizonwireless/mbox/standard?mboxHost=login.verizonwireless.com&mboxSession=1347776884663-145230&mboxPC=1347609748832-956765.19&mboxPage=1347776884663-145230&screenHeight=1200&screenWidth=1920&browserWidth=1299&browserHeight=868&browserTimeOffset=-420&colorDepth=24&mboxCount=1&mbox=My_Verizon_Global&mboxId=0&mboxTime=1347751684666&mboxURL=https%3A%2F%2Flogin.verizonwireless.com%2Famserver%2FUI%2FLogin%3Frealm%3Dvzw%26goto%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fpreorder.verizonwireless.com%253A443%252Ficonic%252Ficonic%252Fsecured%252Fscreens%252FPlanOptions.do&mboxReferrer=&mboxVersion=41 and https://verizonwireless.tt.omtrdc.net/m2/verizonwireless/mbox/standard?mboxHost=login.verizonwireless.com&mboxSession=1347735676953-663794&mboxPC=1347609748832-956765.19&mboxPage=1347738347511-550383&screenHeight=1200&screenWidth=1920&browserWidth=1299&browserHeight=845&browserTimeOffset=-420&colorDepth=24&mboxCount=1&mbox=My_Verizon_Global&mboxId=0&mboxTime=1347713147517&mboxURL=https%3A%2F%2Flogin.verizonwireless.com%2Famserver%2FUI%2FLogin%3Frealm%3Dvzw%26goto%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fpreorder.verizonwireless.com%253A443%252Ficonic%252Ficonic%252Fsecured%252Fscreens%252FIconicOrder.do%253Fformat%253DJSON%2526value%253D%257B%252522action%252522%253A%252522START_ORDER%252522%252C%252522custType%252522%253A%252522EXISTING%252522%252C%252522orderType%252522%253A%252522UPGRADE%252522%252C%252522lookupMtn%252522%253A%252522*(NumberA)*%252522%252C%252522lineData%252522%253A%255B%257B%252522mtn%252522%253A%252522*(NumberA)*%252522%252C%252522upgType%252522%253A%252522ALTERNATE_UPGRADE%252522%252C%252522eligibleMtn%252522%253A%252522*(NumberB)*%252522%257D%255D%257D&mboxReferrer=&mboxVersion=41 and the http headers look like this: HTTP/1.1 200 OK Server: VZW Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2012 14:55:48 GMT Cache-control: private Pragma: no-cache Expires: 0 X-dsameversion: VZW Am_client_type: genericHTML Content-type: text/html;charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Encoding: gzip Content-Length: 6220 and HTTP/1.1 200 OK Cache-Control: no-cache Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2012 16:16:30 GMT Content-Type: text/html Expires: Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT Content-Encoding: gzip X-Powered-By: Servlet/2.5 JSP/2.1 and HTTP/1.1 302 Moved Temporarily Server: VZW Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2012 16:29:32 GMT Cache-control: private Pragma: no-cache X-dsameversion: VZW Am_client_type: genericHTML Location: https://preorder.verizonwireless.com:443/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicOrder.do?format=JSON&value={%22action%22:%22START_ORDER%22,%22custType%22:%22EXISTING%22,%22orderType%22:%22UPGRADE%22,%22lookupMtn%22:%22*(*(NumberA)*%22,%22lineData%22:[{%22mtn%22:%22*(NumberA)*%22,%22upgType%22:%22ALTERNATE_UPGRADE%22,%22eligibleMtn%22:%22*(NumberB)*%22}]} Content-length: 0 ^^this last one actually returned me to a page in the middle of the process when I used the "Location:" given in this http header rather than the URL at the top of the cache page (and was signed in to Verizon's website through a separate tab), but the page it took me to had already been updated to reflect new information, it wasn't presented as of the time the actions were taken several days ago when the page was originally viewed. (It's clear I can't achieve what I'm looking for by visiting current versions of these pages on the web…I should actually probably disable my network adapter while testing this out). The cache folder seems promising, but I don't know what to make of all that hexadecimal mess - if it contains what I'm looking for and if so, how to view it. Finally, the third thing I've come across is the Google Chrome cache folder on my local machine, at ~/Library/Caches/Google/Chrome/ then there are 'Default' and 'Media Cache' folders within. There are ~4,000 files in the former averaging ~100kb each, and 100 files in the latter averaging ~900kb each. The filenames all start "f_00xxxx" except for files titled data_0 through data_4 in each folder. I'm not sure how to observe the contents of these files and don't really want to start opening them up and potentially overwriting existing cached pages, as I notice there are already some holes in the arrangement of the files which I have never deleted manually. Hopefully this is an easy question to answer for someone who knows this stuff, admittedly web stuff is my weak point. As such, I've spent the past five hours searching around and trying to provide all the information I can. I'm probably asking for a miracle - like can those cached pages full of hexadecimal data be used to recreate the representation of the information that was on screen during the process? Or could screenshots of the previously viewed webpages be lurking in the /Caches folder? I have doubt because the content wasn't viewed at a permanent link, rather it seems like the on-screen information was served by Verizon's db, and probably securely so. I'm just not sure if Chrome saves the visual rendering of the page contents somewhere, even just temporarily. Alternatively I would be happy just to get the raw data that was on the page, even if not a visual representation…I just need to be able to demonstrate the phone line that was referenced on this page: https://preorder.verizonwireless.com/iconic/iconic/secured/screens/IconicFeatures.do . Can anyone point me in the right direction?

    Read the article

  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

    Read the article

< Previous Page | 2 3 4 5 6