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  • What does CPU Time consist of? [closed]

    - by Sid
    What does CPU time exactly consist of? For instance, is the time taken to access a page from the RAM (at which point, the CPU is most likely idling) part of the CPU time? I'm not talking about fetching the page from the disk here, just fetching it from the RAM. Thanks

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  • Can i get the particular disk space(like C: ) using Jav program..?

    - by Venkats
    I used SystemEnvironment class in java for getting system information. In that i can get only RAM size, i can't get the specific disk space like c: and D: code is, com.sun.management.OperatingSystemMXBean mxbean = (com.sun.management.OperatingSystemMXBean)ManagementFactory.getOperatingSystemMXBean(); System.out.println("Total RAM:"+mxbean.getTotalSwapSpaceSize()/(1024*1024*1024)+""+"GB"); Can i get this using in java program?

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  • Is it possible to unpage all memory in Windows?

    - by Hack59
    I have plenty of RAM, however, after starting and finishing a large number of processes, it seems that most of the applications' virtual memory has been paged to disk, and switching to any of the older processes requires a very long time to load the memory back into RAM. Is there a way, either via Windows API or via kernel call, to get Windows to unpage all (or as much as possible) memory? Maybe by stepping through the list of running processes and get the memory manager to unpage each process's memory?

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  • ESXI guests not using available CPU resources

    - by Alan M
    I have a VMWare ESXI 5.0.0 (it's a bit old, I know) host with three guest VMs on it. For reasons unknown, the guests will not use much of the availble CPU resources. I have all three guests in a single pool, with the hosts all configured to use the same amount of resource shares, so they're basically 33% each. The three guests are basically identically configured as far as their VM resources go. So the problem is, even when the guests are performing what should be very 'busy' activitites, such as at bootup, the actual host CPU consumed is something tiny, like 33mhz, when seen via vSphere console's "Virtual Machines" tab when viewing properties for the pool. And of course, the performance of the guest VMs is terrible. The host has plenty of CPU to spare. I've tried tinkering with individual guest VM resource settings; cranking up the reservation, etc. No matter. The guests just refuse to make use of the abundant CPU available to them, and insist on using a sliver of the available resources. Any suggestions? Update after reading various comments below Per the suggestions below, I did remove the guests from the application pool; this didn't make any difference. I do understand that the guests are not going to consume resources they do not need. I have tried to do a remote perfmon on the guest which is experiencing long boot times, but I cannot connect to the guest remotely with perfmon (guest is w2k8r2 server). Host graphs for CPU, Mem, Disk are basically flatlining; very little demand. Same is true for the guest stats; while the guest itself seems to be crawling, the guest resource graphing shows very little activity across CPU, Mem, Disk. Host is a Dell PowerEdge 2900, has 2 physical CPU,20gb RAM. (it's a test/dev environment using surplus gear) Guest1 has: VM ver. 7, 2vCPU, 4gb RAM, 140gb storage which lives on a RAID-5 array on the host. Guest2 has: VM ver. 7, 2vCPU, 4gb RAM, 140gb storage which lives on a RAID-5 array on the host. Guest3 has: VM ver. 7, 1vCPU, 2gb RAM, 2tb storage which lives on a RAID-5 ISCSI NAS box Perhaps I am making a false assumption that if a guest has a demand for CPU (e.g. Windows Task Manager shows 100% CPU), the host would supply the guest with more CPU (mem, disk) on demand. Another Update After checking the stats, it would appear that the host is indeed not busy at all, neither is the guest. I believe I have a good idea on the issue, though; a messed-up VMWare Tools install. The guest has VMware Tools on it, but the host says it does not. VMWare Tools refuses to uninstall, refuses to be upgraded, refuses to be recognized. While I cannot say with authority, this would appear to be something worth investigation. I do not know the origin of the guest itself, nor the specifics on the original VMWare Tools install. Following various bits of googling, I did come up with a few suggestions that went nowhere. To that end, I was going to delete this question, but was prompted not to do so since so many folks answered. My suspicion right now is; the problem truly is the guest; the guest is not making a demand on the host, and as a natural result, the host is treating the guest accordingly. My Final Update I am 99% certain the guest VM had something fundamentally wrong with it re VMWare Tools. I created a clone of a different VM with a near-identical OS config, but a properly working install of VMWare tools. The guest runs just great, and takes up it's allotment of resources when it needs to; e.g. it eats up about 850mhz CPU during startup, then ticks down to idle once the guest OS is stable.

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  • IBM Server Config questions

    - by Joel Coel
    I have a few questions on a potential server setup. First, the situation: Last year we bought an IBM x3500 server with 2 Xeon E5410's, 9GB RAM, 6 HDDs. The original intent for this server was to replace the old exchange e-mail server. It was brought in, set up, and then shortly after we switched to gmail. Shortly after that my predecessor left for greener pastures, and finally I was hired. So this nice server is now sitting (mostly) idle. This year I have budget again for one server, and of course I want to put this other server to work. I'm thinking about the best use for the two server, and I think I finally have a plan for what I want to do with them. The idea is to use the two newer servers as a pair of VM hosts. I will set up each server with the same 8 VMs, but divide up the load so that only 4 are active per physical host. That means I've normally got 2GB RAM + 2 cores per host. I've done some load testing to pick out what servers to convert to virtual, and chose them so that each host will be capable of handling the entire set of 8 by itself in a pinch with 1 core and 1GB RAM, but would be very taxed to do so. This should take our data center from 13 total servers down to 7. The "servers" I'm replacing are mostly re-purposed desktops, so I'm more than happy to be able to do this. Now it's time to go shopping for the new server. I'd like my two hosts to match as closely as possible, and so I'm looking at IBM again. It also helps that we have some educational matching grant money from IBM that I need to use to help pay for this system (we're a small private college). So finally, (if you're not bored already), we come to my questions: Am I missing anything big or obvious in this plan? I'm a little worried about network performance since the VM hosts will only have 4 nics total where 8 used to be, but I don't think it will be a problem. Is there anything else like this I might be overlooking? Am I making it even too complicated? IBM no longer has a good analog to last year's server. If I want to match the performance (8 cores, 9GB RAM, 1333mhz front side bus, 6 spindles), I have to spend quite a bit more than we paid last year: $2K+, or nearly a 33% cost increase. This only brings a marginal increase in performance. The alternative to stay in budget is to take a hit on the fsb down to 800mhz or cut the number of cores in half, neither of which is attractive. The main cost culprit is the processor. IBM no longer offers the E5410. It's listed as a part, but not available in any of the server configs I've looked at. I'm considering getting the cheapest 800mhz fsb dual core xeon I can configure and then buying the E5410's separately. That's still an extra $350 I wasn't counting on, but that's better than $2K. I want to know what others think of this - will it work or will I end up with the wrong motherboard or some other issue? Am I missing a simple way to configure the server I really want? I don't really intend to do this, but one option to save some money back is to omit the redundant power supply. Since my redundancy plan for these system is to switch over to a completely different host, the extra power isn't fully necessary. That said, it's still very helpful to avoid even short downtimes while I switch over VMs. Has anyone done this?

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  • ESX3.5 Cluster & MD3000i -- Both servers see iSCSI Targets, Only one server can use partition.

    - by GruffTech
    Alright. First and foremost, Warning. This is a bigger-then-normal question. I like to be thorough and try to eliminate all possible "easymode" answers, as well as give everyone a feel of what i've tried. I've included several images of our setup and the problem it is having.. TLDR Version: So I've followed the guides located here: ESX Deployment Guide V1 this is the guide Dell has sent me to setup two ESX3.5 servers mounting a Dell MD3000i. It doesn't work. Both servers can't use the same storage partition on the MD3000. Both servers see it, but only one server can actually use it. (that server being whatever server created the partition on the target.) Both ESX servers are members of the Host Group. Full Version I have 2 ESX3.5 Servers (10.0.7.102, also called EPI2, and 10.0.7.103, also called EPI3.) connected to a iSCSI SAN Device (Dell MD3000i). Both ESX servers can "scan" the SAN and see the LUNS. Part One: MD3000i Storage On the MD3000i, Both servers are in my host group. I have two partitions, VM1 and VM2, both 1.6TB (vmware doesn't like anything past 2tb.) And you can even see that the ESX servers are targetting the MD3000 just fine. Part Two: The ESX Servers Figure 1. So as you can see above, Both ESX Servers (10.0.7.102 and 10.0.7.103) are able to see and scan the MD3000i SAN. Figure 2. Above is the storage both servers see. I created the storage partition on EPI2 (102). I then Extended the partition to include the second LUN for a grand total of 3.27 TB of storage. When i "rescan" on 103 (the server not mounting the partition), I get the below log in log/messages. Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: scsi1: remove-single-device 0 0 0 failed, device busy(4). being the only line that grabs my attentions. (EPI3 is the server name) Mar 11 10:41:04 epi3 vmkiscsid[5436]: Connected to Discovery Address 192.168.130.101 Mar 11 10:41:04 epi3 vmkiscsid[5437]: Connected to Discovery Address 192.168.130.102 Mar 11 10:41:04 epi3 vmkiscsid[5438]: Connected to Discovery Address 192.168.131.101 Mar 11 10:41:04 epi3 vmkiscsid[5439]: Connected to Discovery Address 192.168.131.102 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: scsi singledevice 2 0 0 0 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: Vendor: DELL Model: MD3000i Rev: 0735 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: Type: Direct-Access ANSI SCSI revision: 05 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: VMWARE SCSI Id: Supported VPD pages for sdb : 0x0 0x80 0x83 0x85 0x86 0x87 0xc0 0xc1 0xc2 0xc3 0xc4 0xc8 0xc9 0xca 0xd0 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: VMWARE SCSI Id: Device id info for sdb: 0x1 0x3 0x0 0x10 0x60 0x1 0xe4 0xf0 0x0 0x1a 0x1a 0xa2 0x0 0x0 0x15 0xe2 0x4d 0x75 0xf6 0x99 0x53 0x98 0x0 0x54 0x69 0x71 0x6e 0x2e 0x31 0x39 0x38 0x34 0x2d 0x30 0x35 0x2e 0x63 0x6f 0x6d 0x2e 0x64 0x65 0x6c 0x6c 0x3a 0x70 0x6f 0x77 0x65 0x72 0x76 0x61 0x75 0x6c 0x74 0x2e 0x36 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x65 0x34 0x66 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x61 0x31 0x61 0x61 0x32 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x34 0x37 0x39 0x30 0x36 0x32 0x32 0x65 0x2c 0x74 0x2c 0x30 0x78 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x32 0x0 0x0 0x0 0x51 0x94 0x0 0x4 0x0 0x0 0x80 0x1 0x53 0xa8 0x0 0x44 0x69 0x71 0x6e 0x2e 0x31 0x39 0x38 0x34 0x2d 0x30 0x35 0x2e 0x63 0x6f 0x6d 0x2e 0x64 0x65 0x6c 0x6c 0x3a 0x70 0x6f 0x77 0x65 0x72 0x76 0x61 0x75 0x6c 0x74 0x2e 0x36 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x65 0x34 0x66 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x61 0x31 0x61 0x61 0x32 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x34 0x37 0x39 0x30 0x36 0x32 0x32 0x65 0x0 0x0 0x0 0x0 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: VMWARE SCSI Id: Id for sdb 0x60 0x01 0xe4 0xf0 0x00 0x1a 0x1a 0xa2 0x00 0x00 0x15 0xe2 0x4d 0x75 0xf6 0x99 0x4d 0x44 0x33 0x30 0x30 0x30 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: VMWARE: Unique Device attached as scsi disk sdb at scsi2, channel 0, id 0, lun 0 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: Attached scsi disk sdb at scsi2, channel 0, id 0, lun 0 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: scan_scsis starting finish Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: SCSI device sdb: 3509329920 512-byte hdwr sectors (1797751 MB) Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: sdb: sdb1 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: scan_scsis done with finish Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: scsi singledevice 2 0 0 1 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: Vendor: DELL Model: MD3000i Rev: 0735 Mar 11 10:41:17 epi3 kernel: Type: Direct-Access ANSI SCSI revision: 05 Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: VMWARE SCSI Id: Supported VPD pages for sdc : 0x0 0x80 0x83 0x85 0x86 0x87 0xc0 0xc1 0xc2 0xc3 0xc4 0xc8 0xc9 0xca 0xd0 Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: VMWARE SCSI Id: Device id info for sdc: 0x1 0x3 0x0 0x10 0x60 0x1 0xe4 0xf0 0x0 0x1a 0x1a 0x86 0x0 0x0 0xd 0xb7 0x4d 0x75 0xf2 0x77 0x53 0x98 0x0 0x54 0x69 0x71 0x6e 0x2e 0x31 0x39 0x38 0x34 0x2d 0x30 0x35 0x2e 0x63 0x6f 0x6d 0x2e 0x64 0x65 0x6c 0x6c 0x3a 0x70 0x6f 0x77 0x65 0x72 0x76 0x61 0x75 0x6c 0x74 0x2e 0x36 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x65 0x34 0x66 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x61 0x31 0x61 0x61 0x32 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x34 0x37 0x39 0x30 0x36 0x32 0x32 0x65 0x2c 0x74 0x2c 0x30 0x78 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x32 0x0 0x0 0x0 0x51 0x94 0x0 0x4 0x0 0x0 0x80 0x1 0x53 0xa8 0x0 0x44 0x69 0x71 0x6e 0x2e 0x31 0x39 0x38 0x34 0x2d 0x30 0x35 0x2e 0x63 0x6f 0x6d 0x2e 0x64 0x65 0x6c 0x6c 0x3a 0x70 0x6f 0x77 0x65 0x72 0x76 0x61 0x75 0x6c 0x74 0x2e 0x36 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x65 0x34 0x66 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x31 0x61 0x31 0x61 0x61 0x32 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x30 0x34 0x37 0x39 0x30 0x36 0x32 0x32 0x65 0x0 0x0 0x0 0x0 Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: VMWARE SCSI Id: Id for sdc 0x60 0x01 0xe4 0xf0 0x00 0x1a 0x1a 0x86 0x00 0x00 0x0d 0xb7 0x4d 0x75 0xf2 0x77 0x4d 0x44 0x33 0x30 0x30 0x30 Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: VMWARE: Unique Device attached as scsi disk sdc at scsi2, channel 0, id 0, lun 1 Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: Attached scsi disk sdc at scsi2, channel 0, id 0, lun 1 Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: scan_scsis starting finish Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: SCSI device sdc: 3509329920 512-byte hdwr sectors (1797751 MB) Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: sdc: sdc1 Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: scan_scsis done with finish Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: scsi1: remove-single-device 0 0 0 failed, device busy(4). Mar 11 10:41:18 epi3 kernel: scsi singledevice 1 0 0 0 Things I've Tried: Removing iSCSI targets from only 103, disabling iSCSI, rebooting, enabled iSCSI, re-adding targets, rescan. Same result. Removing partition on 102, Formatted partition on 103 instead. Same result, except flipped. 103 can use storage, 102 can not. Starting Over. Removing all iSCSI Targets on both ESX Boxes, disabling iSCSI, turning off the firewall for iSCSI, rebooting ESX. Then on the MD3000, Removed the Host Group, Removed the Host-to-Virtual Mappings, Restarted the SAN. Followed the Documentation again, same result. Both servers see the storage, but only one server can use it. Disabling and Re-enabling VMware DRS and HA. Same result. Flat-out turning off VMware DRS and HA, and doing the "start over" step to see if maybe that borked it. Same Result. I'm kinda loosing my mind here, Everything i read online says "just partition it and if the ESX boxes can see the targets, it just works".... well crap. Any ideas, any other things to try? Can anyone atleast point me in the right direction? I'm really tired of working from 1am til 4am (our maintenance hours)

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  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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  • SharpSVN Example Program Crashes

    - by Sam F
    I downloaded the SharpSVN example they give to try and test it out but I get this error when I try and run it. System.BadImageFormatException {"Could not load file or assembly 'SharpSvn, Version=1.4999.376.29668, Culture=neutral, PublicKeyToken=d729672594885a28' or one of its dependencies. An attempt was made to load a program with an incorrect format."} After I downloaded I went to load the project, did the requested conversion with no errors then just tried to run it. Haven't been able to find a solution online.

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  • jqGrid using a servlet to store the data, how to access the data from a different java class

    - by Sam
    I'm using jqGrid for a table input and setting up the url as a servlet which will deal with the GET and POST requests and save the rows to a Java object. I'm using webwork web framework and I was wondering how I can get access to the object that the servlet is saving the data to. One way I have thought of is to just call the GET method from the Java action class which the servlet will return a JSON string with the object data. Is there a better design for doing this? This is probably not too clear so ask questions so I can help get across my point. Thanks

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  • Help with Algorithm chinese auction

    - by sam munkes
    Hi, i am designing a Chinese auction website. Tickets ($5, $10 & $20) are sold either individually, or via packages to receive discounts. There are various Ticket packages for example: 5-$5 tickets = receive 10% off 5-$10 tickets = receive 10% off 5-$20 tickets = receive 10% off 5-$5 tickets + 5-$10 tickets + 5-$20 tickets = receive 15% off When users add tickets to their cart, i need to figure out the cheapest package(s) to give them. the trick is that if a user adds 4-$5 tickets + 5-$10 tickets + 5-$20 tickets, it should still give him package #3 since that would be the cheapest for him. Any help in figuring out a algorithm to solve this, or any tips would be greatly appreciate it. thanks

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  • jquery sortable scroll problem

    - by Sam Vloeberghs
    Hi I'm having problems using the sortable function of jQ:uery UI. The scroll doesn't seem to work.. If the second list ( lists are created on the table rows in a tbody and each tbody is connect ) isn't visible I want it to be possible to scroll towards it for dropping my table row. This is my HTML set up: <ul> <li> <ul> <li> <table class="treeleerling"> <tbody class="oder0"> <tr class="suborder0"> </tr> <tr class="sub1order"> </tr> </tbody> </table> </li> </ul> </li> <li> <ul> <li> <table class="treeleerling"> <tbody class="oder1"> <tr class="suborder0"> </tr> <tr class="suborder1"> </tr> </tbody> </table> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> And jQuery code $(document).ready(function() { $("#left tbody").sortable({ connectWith : '#left tbody', scroll : true, scrollSensitivity: 40, }); }); The sorting works fine, but the scrolling doesnt.. I'm doing something wrong or what? Plz help and advice.. Thx in advance!

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  • Exception using Querytables in Excel Automation

    - by sam
    Hi, I'm using Automation to populate a range in Excel using a querytable.. However, when I try to add a querytable to the qorksheet I get an exception. I checked the connection string and its working fine.. Can some one please help me with this?? public void writeproc1() { try { Worksheet ws = (Worksheet)wb.Worksheets.Add(Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value); Range rng = ws.get_Range("A1", "E14"); QueryTable qt = ws.QueryTables.Add("Data Source=(local)\\SQLEXPRESS;initial catalog=temp;Integrated Security=SSPI;", rng, "Select * From Table_1"); qt.RefreshStyle = XlCellInsertionMode.xlInsertEntireRows; qt.Refresh(false); } catch (Exception ex) { Console.WriteLine(ex.ToString()); Console.ReadKey(); } } Exception Thrown System.Runtime.InteropServices.COMException (0x800A03EC): Exception from HRESULT: 0x800A03EC at System.RuntimeType.ForwardCallToInvokeMember(String memberName, BindingFlags flags, Object target, Int32[] aWrapperTypes, MessageData& msgData) at Microsoft.Office.Interop.Excel.QueryTables.Add(Object Connection, Range Destination, Object Sql) at tmp.Program.writeproc1() in ...Projects\tmp\tmp\Program.cs:line 25

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  • Oauth Logout using facebook graph api

    - by Sam
    Hi, I just made a website where i'm authorizing the users using the oauth2.0 and graph api. I also want to user logout from my website and facebook site,when they click on the logout button. I'm unable to find a solution for this last 24 hours.My code is in asp.net. Thanks in Advacnce

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  • Algorithm to price bulk discounts

    - by sam munkes
    Hi, i am designing a Chinese auction website. Tickets ($5, $10 & $20) are sold either individually, or via packages to receive discounts. There are various Ticket packages for example: 5-$5 tickets = receive 10% off 5-$10 tickets = receive 10% off 5-$20 tickets = receive 10% off 5-$5 tickets + 5-$10 tickets + 5-$20 tickets = receive 15% off When users add tickets to their cart, i need to figure out the cheapest package(s) to give them. the trick is that if a user adds 4-$5 tickets + 5-$10 tickets + 5-$20 tickets, it should still give him package #4 since that would be the cheapest for him. Any help in figuring out a algorithm to solve this, or any tips would be greatly appreciate it. thanks

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  • OAuth in Rails - google, twitter, facebook, connect for login like stackoverflow login

    - by Sam
    Rails has the rest autho plugin which works well but is there a solution for incorporating twitter, facebook, google, yahoo, etc... Seems like each on has its own plugin and demands and mixing them is going to be a mess. This is for logging in users like how Stackoverflow gets things done not for using the robust features of the APIs. What I want to do is do what stackoverflow did for login but in rails.

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  • WPF MVVM: TextBox and default Button binding does update too late

    - by Sam
    I've got a simple WPF dialog with these two controls: <TextBox Text="{Binding MyText}"/> <Button Command="{Binding MyCommand}" IsDefault="True"/> Now, when I enter some text in the TextBox and click the button using the mouse, everything works like expected: the TextBox will set MyText and MyCommand is called. But when I enter some text and hit enter to "click" the default button, it does not work. Since on hitting enter the focus does not leave the TextBox, the binding will not be refresh MyText. So when MyCommand is called (which works), MyText will contain old data. How do I fix this in MVVM? In classic code-behind I probably just would call "MyButton.Focus()" in the MyCommand handler, but in MVVM the MyCommand handler does know nothing about the button. So what now`?

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  • Objective-C, .m / .mm performance difference?

    - by Sam
    I tend to use the .mm extension by default when creating new classes so that I can use ObjC++ later on if I require it. Is there any disadvantage to doing this? When would you prefer .m? Does .m compile to a faster executable (since C is generally faster than C++)?

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  • jqGrid local data manipulation; problem with row ids when deleting and adding new rows

    - by Sam
    I'm using jqGrid as a client side grid input, allowing the user to input multiple records before POSTing all the data back at once. I'm having a problem where if the user has added a few records (say 3 ) the id's for the records will be 1,2,3. if the user deletes record 2, you're left with 1 and 3 for the id of the records. When the user now adds a new records, jqGrid assigns that records the id 3 again since it just seems to count the total records and increments it by one for the new record. This causes problems when selecting rows as now the row id's are 1, 3 and 3. Does anyone know how to access the row ids of records as I could probably use the afterSubmit event and reassign the row id's increasing from 1. ( so after i delete row id 2, this will set the other row id's to 1 and 2) Any other suggestions to solve this problem? Thanks edit I've solved this with the following code for the delete navGrid button }).navGrid('#pager', {add:true, del:true, refresh:false, search:false}, { ... }, ##edit parameters { ... }, ##add parameters {reloadAfterSubmit:false, clearAfterAdd:false, afterComplete: function () { ## clear and readd the row data so the row ids are sequential var savedData= $("#inputgrid").jqGrid('getRowData'); $("#inputgrid").jqGrid('clearGridData'); $("#inputgrid").jqGrid('addRowData', 'rn', savedData); } } ##delete parameters ); Basically just saving the grid data and then re-adding it so that the rowids are sequential again. For some reason it causes the row numbers down the left side to go start from 2 instead of one. Edit this was solved by using the latest jqGrid code in GitHub (27th April 2010)

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  • how to clear insufficient space on disk where the following directory resides in teamcity

    - by sam
    I am getting the following message :- Warning: insufficient space on disk where the following directory resides: Z:\TeamCity\.BuildServer\system. Disk space available: 915.53Mb. Please contact your system administrator. I already have executed the build history cleanup command. but this has not done much. Can you please guide what directory under the following path I clear up to make space on disk. This Z:\TeamCity.BuildServer\system path has artifacts, caches, changes, messages directories. Which directory to delete to make space. Many Thanks

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  • How can I dynamically change auto complete entries in a C# combobox or textbox?

    - by Sam Hopkins
    I have a combobox in C# and I want to use auto complete suggestions with it, however I want to be able to change the auto complete entries as the user types, because the possible valid entries are far too numerous to populate the AutoCompleteStringCollection at startup. As an example, suppose I'm letting the user type in a name. I have a list of possible first names ("Joe", "John") and a list of surnames ("Bloggs", "Smith"), but if I have a thousand of each, then that would be a million possible strings - too many to put in the auto complete entries. So initially I want to have just the first names as suggestions ("Joe", "John") , and then once the user has typed the first name, ("Joe"), I want to remove the existing auto complete entries and replace them with a new set consisting of the chosen first name followed by the possible surnames ("Joe Bloggs", "Joe Smith"). In order to do this, I tried the following code: void InitializeComboBox() { ComboName.AutoCompleteMode = AutoCompleteMode.SuggestAppend; ComboName.AutoCompleteSource = AutoCompleteSource.CustomSource; ComboName.AutoCompleteCustomSource = new AutoCompleteStringCollection(); ComboName.TextChanged += new EventHandler( ComboName_TextChanged ); } void ComboName_TextChanged( object sender, EventArgs e ) { string text = this.ComboName.Text; string[] suggestions = GetNameSuggestions( text ); this.ComboQuery.AutoCompleteCustomSource.Clear(); this.ComboQuery.AutoCompleteCustomSource.AddRange( suggestions ); } However, this does not work properly. It seems that the call to Clear() causes the auto complete mechanism to "turn off" until the next character appears in the combo box, but of course when the next character appears the above code calls Clear() again, so the user never actually sees the auto complete functionality. It also causes the entire contents of the combo box to become selected, so between every keypress you have to deselect the existing text, which makes it unusable. If I remove the call to Clear() then the auto complete works, but it seems that then the AddRange() call has no effect, because the new suggestions that I add do not appear in the auto complete dropdown. I have been searching for a solution to this, and seen various things suggested, but I cannot get any of them to work - either the auto complete functionality appears disabled, or new strings do not appear. Here is a list of things I have tried: Calling BeginUpdate() before changing the strings and EndUpdate() afterwards. Calling Remove() on all the existing strings instead of Clear(). Clearing the text from the combobox while I update the strings, and adding it back afterwards. Setting the AutoCompleteMode to "None" while I change the strings, and setting it back to "SuggestAppend" afterwards. Hooking the TextUpdate or KeyPress event instead of TextChanged. Replacing the existing AutoCompleteCustomSource with a new AutoCompleteStringCollection each time. None of these helped, even in various combinations. Spence suggested that I try overriding the ComboBox function that gets the list of strings to use in auto complete. Using a reflector I found a couple of methods in the ComboBox class that look promising - GetStringsForAutoComplete() and SetAutoComplete(), but they are both private so I can't access them from a derived class. I couldn't take that any further. I tried replacing the ComboBox with a TextBox, because the auto complete interface is the same, and I found that the behaviour is slightly different. With the TextBox it appears to work better, in that the Append part of the auto complete works properly, but the Suggest part doesn't - the suggestion box briefly flashes to life but then immediately disappears. So I thought "Okay, I'll

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  • Looping through an array and calling a function on each pass in v-basic / asp classic

    - by Sam
    How do I loop through an array and call a function on each pass? At the minute I'm trying the following... if Request.Form("authorize") <> "" then dim post_ids, ids post_ids = Request.form("authorize") ids = split(post_ids, ",") For i = LBound(ids) to UBound(ids) set updater = myFunction("comment_id=" & ids(i)) Next end if I'm getting the following error... Arguments are of the wrong type, are out of acceptable range, or are in conflict with one another.

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  • Importing CSV filte to SQL server...

    - by sam
    HI guys, I am trying to import CSV file to SQL server database, no success, I am still newbie to sql server, thanks Operation stopped... Initializing Data Flow Task (Success) Initializing Connections (Success) Setting SQL Command (Success) Setting Source Connection (Success) Setting Destination Connection (Success) Validating (Success) Messages Warning 0x80049304: Data Flow Task 1: Warning: Could not open global shared memory to communicate with performance DLL; data flow performance counters are not available. To resolve, run this package as an administrator, or on the system's console. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Prepare for Execute (Success) Pre-execute (Success) Messages Information 0x402090dc: Data Flow Task 1: The processing of file "D:\test.csv" has started. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Executing (Error) Messages Error 0xc002f210: Drop table(s) SQL Task 1: Executing the query "drop table [dbo].[test] " failed with the following error: "Cannot drop the table 'dbo.test', because it does not exist or you do not have permission.". Possible failure reasons: Problems with the query, "ResultSet" property not set correctly, parameters not set correctly, or connection not established correctly. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Error 0xc02020a1: Data Flow Task 1: Data conversion failed. The data conversion for column ""Code"" returned status value 4 and status text "Text was truncated or one or more characters had no match in the target code page.". (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Error 0xc020902a: Data Flow Task 1: The "output column ""Code"" (38)" failed because truncation occurred, and the truncation row disposition on "output column ""Code"" (38)" specifies failure on truncation. A truncation error occurred on the specified object of the specified component. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Error 0xc0202092: Data Flow Task 1: An error occurred while processing file "D:\test.csv" on data row 21. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Error 0xc0047038: Data Flow Task 1: SSIS Error Code DTS_E_PRIMEOUTPUTFAILED. The PrimeOutput method on component "Source - test_csv" (1) returned error code 0xC0202092. The component returned a failure code when the pipeline engine called PrimeOutput(). The meaning of the failure code is defined by the component, but the error is fatal and the pipeline stopped executing. There may be error messages posted before this with more information about the failure. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Copying to [dbo].[test] (Stopped) Post-execute (Success) Messages Information 0x402090dd: Data Flow Task 1: The processing of file "D:\test.csv" has ended. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Information 0x402090df: Data Flow Task 1: The final commit for the data insertion in "component "Destination - test" (70)" has started. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Information 0x402090e0: Data Flow Task 1: The final commit for the data insertion in "component "Destination - test" (70)" has ended. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard) Information 0x4004300b: Data Flow Task 1: "component "Destination - test" (70)" wrote 0 rows. (SQL Server Import and Export Wizard)

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  • Jquery cycle plugin image resizing issue opera

    - by Sam Gregory
    I am using the cycle plugin within Joomla and it works fine on IE6,FF,SAFARI,CHROME however when you view it in OPERA breaking happens. It loads fine but when it brings in the next slide and every consequent slide after that it re-sizes them to what i can only assume to be the browswe window's width and height. here's my javascript <script type="text/javascript"> $('.fullScreen').cycle({ speed: 1000, timeout: 100 }); </script> css <script type="text/css"> .fullScreen { margin-left: 0px; height: 355px; clear: both; width: 475px; z-index: -1; overflow: hidden; } </script> and finally HTML <div class="fullscreen"> <img width="475px" src="images/someimage1.jpg" /> <img width="475px" src="images/someimage2.jpg" /> <img width="475px" src="images/someimage3.jpg" /> </div> hope I'm not the only one having this problem.

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