Is there some way (preferrably one that comes with an existing tool) to measure the traffic going through the whole WiFi network from a computer connected to it? (That is, not from the AP or something between the modem and AP.)

My situation is this: a few months back, the internet connection at my parent's place got really sluggish and laggy. (Lag spikes that cause page loads to time out etc, connections plain getting lost and dropping packets forever.) It's impossible to get mom's husband to do anything about this because he brushes this off with something like "just tell your sister to turn off torrents".

Unfortunately the WiFi router's firmware doesn't do traffic logging. I'm not going to risk bricking it to put WRT on it; nor am I keen on rewiring the network to add a proxy to analyse the traffic. (I'm one of those people that make computers break just by looking at them, except machines I own.)

I'd like to be able to find out roughly how much data is going over the air here while all the LAN wires are out of the router, all the computers accused of torrenting are off, etc. The idea is to either show that:

• Even if everything but my macbook is turned off, something is congesting the network. The husband is a systems developer and has a whole lot of mysterious hardware that's not to be touched around, one of them might be culprit.
• There is barely any traffic on the network, but the internet is still sluggish. Meaning this is likely a problem the ISP should solve. (Some hardware of theirs being glitchy, someone on an aggregated line hogging it constantly...)

The network is encrypted, but I can temporarily set it to open for the sake of finding this out.

So, in conclusion? Can this be done? Or is there some alternative way I could try to diagnose the problem?