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  • 12.04 + Alienware M11x R2 + Bumblebee 3.0 = low resolution only

    - by user89171
    I had a fresh install of Ubuntu 12.04 on my Alienware M11x, and it worked with the native monitor resolution of 1366x768. In trying to get the Optimus chipset working, I installed Bumblebee 3.0. Now, I am only offered 640x480 for my monitor resolution. Graphically, Unity 3D appears to be working now, instead of the Unity 2D I had before, so something went right, but I don't know how I can get it to offer me any higher resolutions than 640x480. I've looked up many pages that address this topic, but nothing that I've seen suggested has worked. sudo add-apt-repository ppa:bumblebee/stable sudo apt-get update sudo apt-get install bumblebee-nvidia was the latest thing I tried. I've tried some variants of this, I've been sure to uninstall nvidia drivers prior to reinstalling Bumblebee and various video drivers. Does anyone have any clue as to how I can get back to native resolution?

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  • Detect rotated rectangle collision

    - by handyface
    I'm trying to implement a script that detects whether two rotated rectangles collide for my game. I used the method explained in the following article for my implementation in Google Dart. 2D Rotated Rectangle Collision I tried to implement this code into my game. Basically from what I understood was that I have two rectangles, these two rectangles can produce four axis (two per rectangle) by subtracting adjacent corner coordinates. Then all the corners from both rectangles need to be projected onto each axis, then multiplying the coordinates of the projection by the axis coordinates (point.x*axis.x+point.y*axis.y) to make a scalar value and checking whether the range of both the rectangle's projections overlap. When all the axis have overlapping projections, there's a collision. First of all, I'm wondering whether my comprehension about this algorithm is correct. If so I'd like to get some pointers in where my implementation (written in Dart, which is very readable for people comfortable with C-syntax) goes wrong. Thanks!

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  • How do you set the movement speed of a sprite?

    - by rphello101
    I'm using Slick 2D/Java to play around with graphics. Getting an image to move is easy: Input input = gc.getInput(); if(input.isKeyDown(sprite.up)){ sprite.y--; }else if (input.isKeyDown(sprite.down)){ sprite.y++; }else if (input.isKeyDown(sprite.left)){ sprite.x--; }else if (input.isKeyDown(sprite.right)){ sprite.x++; } However, this is called on every update, so if you hold up, the sprite moves to the edge of the screen in a few hundred milliseconds. Since coordinates are integers, I can't add less than 1 to slow the sprite down. I'm assuming I must have to implement a timer of some sort or something. Any advice?

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  • Filling up the empty blocks when the player touches the safe zone again! using cocos2d

    - by user3445020
    Hi guys i am stuck with filling up the data of all the blocks which are empty like the ones in the image. As you can see there i have a pacman like object where i will be moving around. But when you are in the empty space where there are no Blue boxes available i should be able to add new blocks in the path of my pacman and when it touches any other blue boxes like in the below case if my pacman touches the top row of the blue box i should be able to fill all the empty boxed inside the border of the path created by pacman. For now i am using a 2d bool array to store all the filled boxed info like if there is a box inside i am making that cell in an array as true. But how to fill the area with blue boxes after player finishes his path ? Any help would be great thank you. More info about this problem is here: filling the empty spaces in a certain region in a grid using c++ Same problem

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  • I want to begin in this world, where can i meet information,help and people to start? [on hold]

    - by SYNOXYS
    So like the question says, I really want to begin to create something,or help creating something. I mess around with some 2d and 3d softwares like unity,gamemaker,UE... and tried to modelate (maya,3dmax),I use them a little,nothing professional, but all i've got is the sensation that i can't go really far. I feel like i am learning really slow, even having the will and some basics knows. But I want to change that, i want to really learn, to progress. I think that a good idea is meeting people like me, and start a non-commercial project or something. Thanks for your time,really. Greetings, SYNOXYS.

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  • Where to generate data in an Entity-Component System?

    - by Mark Mandel
    So I'm making a small game where I generate 2D landscape using perlin noise when the game first loads. I've got it working in a OO way, but want to move over to an ES architecure, and I'm just struggling to work out the right place for the code that does the generation to go? In OO world, I have a World object which gets passes a coordinate value that is used as the seed for the perlin noise, and generates all the points for the land mass when the world is created. I'm thinking I need a World component with a coordinate field on it - that's an easy part. From there - is it right for a component to generate data when it's first initialised (or is that too OO?)? Or should a System be doing that instead, when the game first starts? Or... some other solution I'm not aware of? Thanks in advance for any guidance.

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  • Make the player run onto stairs smoothly

    - by misiMe
    I have a 2D Platform game, where the player Always runs to the right, but the terrain isn't Always horizontal. Example: I implemented a bounding-box collision system that just checks for intersections with player box and the other blocks, to stop player from running if you encounter a big block, so that you have to jump, but when I put stairs, I want him to run smoothly just like he is on the horizontal ground. With the collision system you have to jump the stairs in order to pass them! I thought about generating a line between the edges of the stairs, and imposing the player movement on that line... What do you think? Is there something more clever to do?

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  • How can I derive force vectors from velocity vectors?

    - by PixelRouter
    I'm making a 2d shooter ala Geometry Wars. I've got my own simple physics at work driving the background grid and all my entities. To move anything in the world I apply a Vector2d force to it. The 'engine' calculates the resulting acceleration and therefore the velocity. I am trying to port some code I found which implements the classic 'Boids' flocking algorithm, but the code I have works by calculating the Boids' velocities directly, so If i use it as is, it bypasses my physics engine. How I can translate the velocity vectors into force vectors that I can apply to the Boids and which will result in the proper velocities via my physics engine.

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  • Physics for moving blocks

    - by Gabson
    I'm working on a 2D game for windows phone where the player moves blocks around to bounce a laser beams. I need to create some simple physics for moving the blocks. For the moment I have a simple collision class, telling me if two rectangles collide. But that's not enough because when I'm moving a block the rectangle/rectangle function doesn't work. By Doesn't work i mean,I manage the collision but I don't how to stop the block mooving while the user sliding the block. The collision response for the block I want is if the user tries to slide it on another object, the block should slide up against the other object and not overlap. How would I go about implementing this functionality?

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  • C++ game programming

    - by UnTraDe
    Until now I have been using C# with XNA for 2d and a little bit of 3d games, althought I dont remember that I finished any of them I want to start working with C++. I have a very very little exprience with C++ and my question is where to start? I plated a little bit with SFML and I encountered some problems with performance when I started to build a tile based game. I'm pretty sure that the problem is my code and not the library itself. Is there anything similiar to XNA for C++? I should keep try and work with SFML? Sorry for my bad english! Thanks in advance!

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  • Should my game handle collisions in the Player object?

    - by user1264811
    I'm making a 2D platform game. Right now I'm just working on making a very generic Player class. I'm wondering if it would be more efficient/better practice to have an ActionListener within the Player class to detect collisions with Enemy objects (also have an ActionListener) or to handle all the collisions in the main world. Furthermore, I'm thinking ahead about how I will handle collisions with the platforms themselves. I've looked into the double boolean arrays to see which tiles players can go to and which they can't. I don't understand how to use this class and the player class at the same time.

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  • Can I randomly generate an endless road?

    - by y26jin
    So suppose we stand on a position(x0, y0) of a map. We can only move on the horizontal plane(no jump and stuff) but we can move forward, left, or right (in a discrete math way, i.e. integer movement). As soon as we move to the next position(x1, y1), everything around us is generated randomly by a program. We could be surrounded by one of mountain, lake, and road. We can only move on the road. The road is always 2D as the map itself. My question is, are we able to play this game endlessly? "End" means that we come across a dead end and the only way out is to go backward.

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  • What is a good format for a 3d topview map?

    - by Tinco
    I am building a 3d topview game like GTA2. In this game the ground is mostly one level (except for tunnels and highways). Most of the ground is also city so the ground is usually covered by either roads or buildings. The buildings are simple 3d models which the player can walk around on. Most of the gameplay is 2d. How should I model the map? I have considered the following options: Bitmaps, I think this gives problems when I want to add data smaller than a tile. Also the problem of bridges and tunnels seems hard to solve with this. Polygons, define all roads, terrain types, buildings with polygons and save that along with physics and texture information. What approach would you take or have you ever implemented this or know of an implementation?

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  • How can I use LightDM for user-defined sessions?

    - by Philipp
    If I unterstand it correctly, LightDM has replaced GDM per default. I wonder if it's possible to make it run the things I put in my .xinitrc file ... what I need is an option below "Unity" and "Unity 2D" which says "Run a user-defined session". Is that possible? Should be the easiest thing, but I did not get a clue so far. I export and define and run a lot of things in this file, so it's pretty important for me to have control over that. What I do NOT want is a custom session in /usr/some/where, I only want it to run the stuff from each user's xinitrc (or similar).

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  • Android Game Development in Java [on hold]

    - by Nusrat
    I have been searching for some good tutorials/frameworks for developing an Android Game . I want to develop a 3D Car Racing game . I have already looked into http://stackoverflow.com/questions/4227759/android-game-engine-for-2d-and-3d-games. Now , i know that Android Games can be developed using Java/Action Scripts/JS etc . Many of the users are suggesting me to use http://unity3d.com , but i found that it uses JavaScript, C#, Boo . I don't know JS too much , Is it possible to develop a very professional level Game for Android using my Java knowledge ? Any Software like Unity which allow me to code in Java ?

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  • Directional Lights

    - by Setrio
    I'm working on a game idea (2D) that needs directional lights. Basically I want to add light sources that can be moved and the light rays interact with the other bodies on the scene. What I'm doing right now is some test where using sensors (box2d) and ccDrawLine I could achieve something similar to what I want. Basically I send a bunch of sensors from certain point and with raycast detect collisions, get the end points and draw lines over the sensors. Just want to get some opinions if this is a good way of doing this or is other better options to build something like this? Also I would like to know how to make a light effect over this area (sensors area) to provide a better looking light effect. Any ideas?

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  • How to visualize real time data on Android? [closed]

    - by matarsak
    I want to build and android app that visualizes real time data (2D animation). I set up a UDP channel that get the data, now I want to visualize it. I know that I can use OpenGL ES, but after a few weeks, I dont think that I'm able to learn that. What about Android Processing? Could it be used for an extensive visualization task like this? or is it limited in some way? I've heard it's not hard learn. Any other options?

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  • Large Sprite Performance

    - by Iansen
    I've got a large Sprite generated using a set of vertices(x,y coordinates) and a bitmap pattern (using moveTo, lineTo, beginBitmapFill, endFill ...etc). It's about 15000 pixels wide and between 1500 - 2000 pixels high depending on the level -it's the terrain for a 2D game. My question is: what is the best way to display/move it on the stage - performance wise? Currently I'm just adding it to the stage as is...I get decent frame rate/ memory/ cpu usage but I want to optimize it for slower PCs. Any ideas? I've been reading a little about blitting but I'm not sure how to implement it in my case. Thanks.

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  • How to start cross-platform desktop game development? [closed]

    - by Wamer
    I am interested in developing some 2d game since I have graduated and got some time to spare. I am looking for some advices where to start and with what. My main target platforms are Mac and Windows (later porting/rewriting/modifying for iOS, Android or WP7 is considerable). I need some advices about language I should choose, frameworks, engines and this kind of stuff. I gotta start somehow, but first of all I need to know how. Choosing good language with great framework/engine is key to ongoing successful game development I think.

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  • ????JavaFX??Java???????·?????????????????Java Developer Workshop #2?????|WebLogic Channel|??????

    - by ???02
    WebLogic Server?????????Java???????????????????WebLogic Channel?????????JavaOne 2011??Java/Java EE????????!――???????????????!!?????????????????????JavaOne 2011????????????????????????????????????JavaFX?????2011?12?1?????????????Java?????????????Java Developer Workshop #2????JavaOne 2011?JavaFX???????????????Oracle Corporation?JavaFX??????Nandini Ramani?(Client Java Group???????????)??????JavaFX 2.0-Next generation Java client solution????????????????????JavaFX?????????????????????(???)?Pure Java???????UI??????JavaFX 2.0??JavaOne 2011??Java/Java EE????????!???????????API????Java????????????1?????????Ramani?????????JavaFX????????JavaFX 2.0?????????????????????? ???JavaFX 2.0?????????????????????????????????JavaFX Script??????????????????Java?????????????·???????????????????????Java????????????????????????????? ??????????????PC????????????·??????????????????????????????????????API???????????????????·?????????????????????????????????????????????900????????????Java???????????JavaFX??????????????????????????????·???????(UI)????????????????????(Ramani?) Ramani??????JavaFX 2.0??????/???????????100% Java API?Swing????FXML???UI????????WebKit???Web???????????????????????????? ??????FXML(FX Markup Language)???JavaFX?UI????????XML????????????????Ramani????????????????????????????????·?????????????UI????????????????????????JavaScript?Groovy?Scala???JVM???????????????????????? ???JavaFX 2.0????????(JavaFX Runtime)???????????????????????AWT????????????????OS???????????????Glass Windowing Toolkit??2D/3D????????·???????GPU???????????Prism???????????????? ?????Prism????????????????·??????????3D?????????????????????????????????????????????·????????60fps??HD??????????VP6?MP3?????????????????????????????????????·?????????????? ?????????????????????????JavaFX 2.0???????Ramani???????????????????·????????????·???????????????????????????????JavaFX 2.0?????????????·?????????????????????????????????????Prism???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????JavaFX??????????·??????????????????????????????????????????????/???????????(?????????)???????????????????? ??????????????????NetBeans IDE 7.0?????Eclipse?JDeveloper???????IDE?????????????????????????????&??????????????UI???????JavaFX Scene Builder???????? ?????JavaFX 2.0???????????·???????????????3D????????????·????????????????????????????????????Ramani????JavaFX Labs????????????JavaFX 2.0????????????????????????????3D???????????????????????????????UI?????????????????????????????????????3D???·????????????????? ???JavaFX 2.0?????????????3D?????????·??????·??????????????????????·?????·?????Kinect?????????????????????·?????????????????????·?????·????Kinect????3D?????????????????????????????? ????JavaFX????????????????????????JavaFX????????·?????????Linux?????????PC?iPad???????????????????? ?????????2???????????JavaFX??Java??????????????????GUI?????????????????????????????JavaFX??????????????????????Ramani??????????? ?JavaFX???????????????????????????????·??????????????????Swing?AWT???????????????·????????????????????????????????????? ???JavaFX???????????·???????OpenJFX?????OpenJDK????????????????????????????UI??????????????????Ramani??????????????????????????????????????????????Java???????????????????JavaFX???????????????????????????????????????????:?Java Developer Workshop #2?????Nandini Ramani?????????????????????

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  • GRUB doesn't recognize partitions on one harddisk

    - by knizz
    I have a dualboot computer with Windows Vista (on hd0) and Ubuntu 9.10. The bootloader is GRUB and the windows bootloader lets me decide between Vista and Ubuntu-Installation (broken WuBi). But now (i don't know why that changed) I can't use start the windows-bootloader anymore. I tried "ls" on the grub-prompt and it gave me a list like: (hd0) (hd1) (hd1,0) (hd1,1) (hd1,2) ... (fd0) It recognizes all partitions of hd1 (the ubuntu-harddisk) but not of hd0(the win-disk). .. WHY? Here is the result of the "boot info script" for the technical details: Boot Info Script 0.55 dated February 15th, 2010 ============================= Boot Info Summary: ============================== => Grub 2 is installed in the MBR of /dev/sda and looks for (UUID=a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f)/boot/grub. => No boot loader is installed in the MBR of /dev/sdb sda1: _________________________________________________________________________ File system: ntfs Boot sector type: Windows Vista/7 Boot sector info: No errors found in the Boot Parameter Block. Operating System: Windows Vista Boot files/dirs: /bootmgr /Boot/BCD /Windows/System32/winload.exe /wubildr.mbr /wubildr sda2: _________________________________________________________________________ File system: ntfs Boot sector type: Windows Vista/7 Boot sector info: No errors found in the Boot Parameter Block. Operating System: Boot files/dirs: sdb1: _________________________________________________________________________ File system: Boot sector type: Unknown Boot sector info: Mounting failed: mount: unbekannter Dateisystemtyp „“ sdb2: _________________________________________________________________________ File system: ntfs Boot sector type: Windows Vista/7 Boot sector info: No errors found in the Boot Parameter Block. Operating System: Boot files/dirs: sdb3: _________________________________________________________________________ File system: Bios Boot Partition Boot sector type: - Boot sector info: sdb4: _________________________________________________________________________ File system: ext4 Boot sector type: - Boot sector info: Operating System: Ubuntu 9.10 Boot files/dirs: /boot/grub/grub.cfg /etc/fstab /boot/grub/core.img sdb5: _________________________________________________________________________ File system: swap Boot sector type: - Boot sector info: =========================== Drive/Partition Info: ============================= Drive: sda ___________________ _____________________________________________________ Platte /dev/sda: 640.1 GByte, 640135028736 Byte 255 Köpfe, 63 Sektoren/Spuren, 77825 Zylinder, zusammen 1250263728 Sektoren Einheiten = Sektoren von 1 × 512 = 512 Bytes Disk identifier: 0x52554d66 Partition Boot Start End Size Id System /dev/sda1 * 2,048 307,202,047 307,200,000 7 HPFS/NTFS /dev/sda2 307,202,048 1,250,258,943 943,056,896 7 HPFS/NTFS Drive: sdb ___________________ _____________________________________________________ Platte /dev/sdb: 640.1 GByte, 640135028736 Byte 255 Köpfe, 63 Sektoren/Spuren, 77825 Zylinder, zusammen 1250263728 Sektoren Einheiten = Sektoren von 1 × 512 = 512 Bytes Disk identifier: 0x00000000 Partition Boot Start End Size Id System /dev/sdb1 1 1,250,263,727 1,250,263,727 ee GPT GUID Partition Table detected. Partition Start End Size System /dev/sdb1 34 262,177 262,144 Microsoft Windows /dev/sdb2 262,178 1,131,253,933 1,130,991,756 Linux or Data /dev/sdb3 1,131,253,934 1,131,255,887 1,954 Bios Boot Partition /dev/sdb4 1,131,255,888 1,245,312,528 114,056,641 Linux or Data /dev/sdb5 1,245,312,529 1,250,263,694 4,951,166 Linux Swap blkid -c /dev/null: ____________________________________________________________ Device UUID TYPE LABEL /dev/sda1 AE1440441440122F ntfs /dev/sda2 3AE66E4DE66E0A09 ntfs data /dev/sdb2 5419D16119DAA4DE ntfs LaufwerkD /dev/sdb4 a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f ext4 /dev/sdb5 60a0143a-e01b-450a-bbd1-f22059e47b65 swap ============================ "mount | grep ^/dev output: =========================== Device Mount_Point Type Options /dev/sdb4 / ext4 (rw,errors=remount-ro) =========================== sdb4/boot/grub/grub.cfg: =========================== # # DO NOT EDIT THIS FILE # # It is automatically generated by /usr/sbin/grub-mkconfig using templates # from /etc/grub.d and settings from /etc/default/grub # ### BEGIN /etc/grub.d/00_header ### if [ -s /boot/grub/grubenv ]; then have_grubenv=true load_env fi set default="0" if [ ${prev_saved_entry} ]; then saved_entry=${prev_saved_entry} save_env saved_entry prev_saved_entry= save_env prev_saved_entry fi insmod ext2 set root=(hd1,4) search --no-floppy --fs-uuid --set a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f if loadfont /usr/share/grub/unicode.pf2 ; then set gfxmode=640x480 insmod gfxterm insmod vbe if terminal_output gfxterm ; then true ; else # For backward compatibility with versions of terminal.mod that don't # understand terminal_output terminal gfxterm fi fi if [ ${recordfail} = 1 ]; then set timeout=-1 else set timeout=10 fi ### END /etc/grub.d/00_header ### ### BEGIN /etc/grub.d/05_debian_theme ### set menu_color_normal=white/black set menu_color_highlight=black/white ### END /etc/grub.d/05_debian_theme ### ### BEGIN /etc/grub.d/10_linux ### menuentry "Ubuntu, Linux 2.6.31-20-generic" { recordfail=1 if [ -n ${have_grubenv} ]; then save_env recordfail; fi set quiet=1 insmod ext2 set root=(hd1,4) search --no-floppy --fs-uuid --set a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f linux /boot/vmlinuz-2.6.31-20-generic root=UUID=a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f ro quiet splash initrd /boot/initrd.img-2.6.31-20-generic } menuentry "Ubuntu, Linux 2.6.31-20-generic (recovery mode)" { recordfail=1 if [ -n ${have_grubenv} ]; then save_env recordfail; fi insmod ext2 set root=(hd1,4) search --no-floppy --fs-uuid --set a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f linux /boot/vmlinuz-2.6.31-20-generic root=UUID=a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f ro single initrd /boot/initrd.img-2.6.31-20-generic } menuentry "Ubuntu, Linux 2.6.31-14-generic" { recordfail=1 if [ -n ${have_grubenv} ]; then save_env recordfail; fi set quiet=1 insmod ext2 set root=(hd1,4) search --no-floppy --fs-uuid --set a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f linux /boot/vmlinuz-2.6.31-14-generic root=UUID=a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f ro quiet splash initrd /boot/initrd.img-2.6.31-14-generic } menuentry "Ubuntu, Linux 2.6.31-14-generic (recovery mode)" { recordfail=1 if [ -n ${have_grubenv} ]; then save_env recordfail; fi insmod ext2 set root=(hd1,4) search --no-floppy --fs-uuid --set a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f linux /boot/vmlinuz-2.6.31-14-generic root=UUID=a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f ro single initrd /boot/initrd.img-2.6.31-14-generic } ### END /etc/grub.d/10_linux ### ### BEGIN /etc/grub.d/20_memtest86+ ### menuentry "Memory test (memtest86+)" { linux16 /boot/memtest86+.bin } menuentry "Memory test (memtest86+, serial console 115200)" { linux16 /boot/memtest86+.bin console=ttyS0,115200n8 } ### END /etc/grub.d/20_memtest86+ ### ### BEGIN /etc/grub.d/30_os-prober ### menuentry "Windows Vista (loader) (on /dev/sda1)" { insmod ntfs set root=(hd0,1) search --no-floppy --fs-uuid --set ae1440441440122f chainloader +1 } ### END /etc/grub.d/30_os-prober ### ### BEGIN /etc/grub.d/40_custom ### # This file provides an easy way to add custom menu entries. Simply type the # menu entries you want to add after this comment. Be careful not to change # the 'exec tail' line above. ### END /etc/grub.d/40_custom ### =============================== sdb4/etc/fstab: =============================== # /etc/fstab: static file system information. # # Use 'blkid -o value -s UUID' to print the universally unique identifier # for a device; this may be used with UUID= as a more robust way to name # devices that works even if disks are added and removed. See fstab(5). # # <file system> <mount point> <type> <options> <dump> <pass> proc /proc proc defaults 0 0 # / was on /dev/sdb4 during installation UUID=a7c510e3-2399-437b-ab92-fa609e48d63f / ext4 errors=remount-ro 0 1 # swap was on /dev/sdb5 during installation UUID=60a0143a-e01b-450a-bbd1-f22059e47b65 none swap sw 0 0 /dev/scd0 /media/cdrom0 udf,iso9660 user,noauto,exec,utf8 0 0 /dev/fd0 /media/floppy0 auto rw,user,noauto,exec,utf8 0 0 =================== sdb4: Location of files loaded by Grub: =================== 583.8GB: boot/grub/core.img 583.8GB: boot/grub/grub.cfg 579.7GB: boot/initrd.img-2.6.31-14-generic 580.0GB: boot/initrd.img-2.6.31-20-generic 579.7GB: boot/vmlinuz-2.6.31-14-generic 579.8GB: boot/vmlinuz-2.6.31-20-generic 580.0GB: initrd.img 579.7GB: initrd.img.old 579.8GB: vmlinuz 579.7GB: vmlinuz.old =========================== Unknown MBRs/Boot Sectors/etc ======================= Unknown BootLoader on sdb1 00000000 54 34 dc 3b 8b ff 6c fa 3e 59 3d 24 25 af 5f 9b |T4.;..l.>Y=$%._.| 00000010 72 f8 36 3d 56 30 22 fd c6 08 5e 39 7f dc 29 48 |r.6=V0"...^9..)H| 00000020 48 e5 24 52 77 b0 fc 64 b6 ce 48 c3 07 ce b5 81 |H.$Rw..d..H.....| 00000030 06 68 60 4f 6e fb 83 92 df 3a 54 b9 df 21 2a cd |.h`On....:T..!*.| 00000040 1e 2f e2 49 fe cf 81 2d 52 17 1a 4e 66 b4 f3 f0 |./.I...-R..Nf...| 00000050 41 25 e3 96 26 28 fe 19 61 72 75 f8 40 a3 b7 ef |A%..&(..aru.@...| 00000060 5f 79 dc cb 28 44 44 7c 9b 9a 7b 6c 4b 4b 60 0f |_y..(DD|..{lKK`.| 00000070 a9 97 87 bc 85 9f db bb d2 1a 88 9f aa 49 18 d5 |.............I..| 00000080 92 2d db 7e fe f7 8d 7a 18 c0 33 c5 bd 7a 46 07 |.-.~...z..3..zF.| 00000090 c8 27 13 66 94 49 62 9f bc 99 56 55 25 fb 94 a9 |.'.f.Ib...VU%...| 000000a0 3f b2 a7 0a 87 d0 a4 4e 51 f1 09 02 c4 29 eb ff |?......NQ....)..| 000000b0 26 3b 51 3e 5a 0c db ee a6 57 a7 c3 ba a1 74 90 |&;Q>Z....W....t.| 000000c0 ee 70 08 18 cc b8 d0 22 ce 96 c7 cb 68 40 98 20 |.p....."....h@. | 000000d0 49 3d 07 ec df d1 8d cf 19 bc 42 90 70 24 01 b4 |I=........B.p$..| 000000e0 28 cf c6 50 d3 95 5a 1b 18 15 33 c7 b2 a8 95 92 |(..P..Z...3.....| 000000f0 bb 93 fe 18 2b 81 c1 6b 9c 30 f1 65 50 6a 80 3d |....+..k.0.ePj.=| 00000100 74 37 a8 59 a6 51 8a 63 b6 d8 16 9f a9 47 2a 7c |t7.Y.Q.c.....G*|| 00000110 04 a7 fe 69 47 02 bf e9 b7 1b 7a ea 60 5c 3c 53 |...iG.....z.`\<S| 00000120 5b 10 78 dc 4d d2 a8 22 30 45 37 fb 56 06 9f 06 |[.x.M.."0E7.V...| 00000130 aa df cf 87 3a 3e cf 72 f2 e5 a6 c6 aa e2 7c 1c |....:>.r......|.| 00000140 64 c2 fc 80 ce 02 fc 7f 0f c6 60 81 bf cd 3b 5a |d.........`...;Z| 00000150 37 a5 38 1b 0c 1b 39 2e d6 f6 3d a2 36 e5 87 c3 |7.8...9...=.6...| 00000160 17 b5 fd ee 33 c7 ce a3 d9 c2 57 dc ee 85 48 9d |....3.....W...H.| 00000170 33 60 02 cd c5 83 44 44 ea b6 07 25 0a 4b a6 6e |3`....DD...%.K.n| 00000180 fc 51 42 cd 84 0b 65 b6 19 a1 e5 b2 eb 14 0c fa |.QB...e.........| 00000190 24 77 f5 44 6e 5d 39 dd b6 8e cc f8 30 fe 21 46 |$w.Dn]9.....0.!F| 000001a0 9c ff 95 c6 c7 b5 0a df 54 ca d2 ac bc 64 d0 97 |........T....d..| 000001b0 94 54 d9 29 0f 91 60 20 c3 e4 53 c2 b0 e4 40 72 |.T.)..` ..S...@r| 000001c0 7e 25 bc 81 06 ad 05 46 14 a7 e6 71 6b 5c db 9c |~%.....F...qk\..| 000001d0 0a 5e 76 23 ae 06 01 36 98 21 65 2c 90 e7 4b 1a |.^v#...6.!e,..K.| 000001e0 2a 2d 80 a5 48 db 9e 14 e0 9f e9 aa 00 e3 77 32 |*-..H.........w2| 000001f0 0f fd 94 db 55 a6 64 46 be ae ca de da ee 89 68 |....U.dF.......h| 00000200 =======Devices which don't seem to have a corresponding hard drive============== sdc sdd sde

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  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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  • python numpy roll with padding

    - by Marshall Ward
    I'd like to roll a 2D numpy in python, except that I'd like pad the ends with zeros rather than roll the data as if its periodic. Specifically, the following code import numpy as np x = np.array([[1, 2, 3],[4, 5, 6]]) np.roll(x,1,axis=1) returns array([[3, 1, 2],[6, 4, 5]]) but what I would prefer is array([[0, 1, 2], [0, 4, 5]]) I could do this with a few awkward touchups, but I'm hoping that there's a way to do it with fast built-in commands. Thanks

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  • iPhone OpenGL ES - How to Pick

    - by Ali Nadalizadeh
    I'm working on an OpenGL ES1 app which displays a 2D grid and allows user to navigate and scale/rotate it. I need to know the exact translation of View Touch coordinates into my opengl world and grid cell. Are there any helpers to do the reverse of last few transforms which I do for navigation ? or I should calculate and do the matrix stuff by hand ?

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  • Sorting a multidimensional array in objective-c

    - by Zen_silence
    Hello, I'm trying to sort a multidimensional array in objective-c i know that i can sort a single dimensional array using the line of code below: NSArray *sortedArray = [someArray sortedArrayUsingSelector:@selector(caseInsensitiveCompare:)]; I can't seem to figure out how to sort a 2D array like the one below: ( ("SOME_URL", "SOME_STORY_TITLE", "SOME_CATEGORY"), ("SOME_URL", "SOME_STORY_TITLE", "SOME_CATEGORY"), ("SOME_URL", "SOME_STORY_TITLE", "SOME_CATEGORY") ); If someone could provide me code that would sort the array by SOME_CATEGORY it would be of great help to me. Thanks, Zen_Silence

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