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  • ANY way to consolidate this code?

    - by JM4
    I am building a PHP registration form which takes the following fields for up to 20 athletes: First Name Middle Initial Last Name Federation Number Address City State Zip DOB SSN Phone Email I am only through 7 of the fields for each fighter and my php file is very large (over 40kb). Is there ANY way to consolidate this code at all? I am also having to validate the information on each field (as I said - 20 athletes x 12 fields = 240 validations on a single page). If I can send any further code let me know! <form id="Form" action="<?php $_SERVER['PHP_SELF']; ?>" method="post" name="Form" onsubmit="return Enroll_Form_Validator(this)"> <p class="title">Your Fighters' Information</p> <p>Please complete the following fields with your <span style="color:red;"> Fighters' Information</span> to continue your enrollment.</p> <br /> <?php // if $errors is not empty, the form must have failed one or more validation // tests. Loop through each and display them on the page for the user if (!empty($errors)) { echo "<div class='error'>Please fix the following errors:\n<ul>"; foreach ($errors as $error) echo "<li>$error</li>\n"; echo "</ul></div>"; } ?> <?php if ($_SESSION['Num_Fighters'] > "0") { ?> <table class="demoTable"> <tr> <td>First Name: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F1FirstName" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1FirstName']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Middle Initial: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F1MI" size="2" maxlength="1" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1MI']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Last Name: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F1LastName" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1LastName']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Federation No: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F1FedNum" maxlength="10" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1FedNum']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>SSN: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F1SSN1" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1SSN1']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F1SSN2" size="2" maxlength="2" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1SSN2']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F1SSN3" size="4" maxlength="4" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1SSN3']; ?>" /> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Date of Birth</td> <td> <select name="F1DOB1"> <option value="">Month</option> <?php for ($i=1; $i<=12; $i++) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F1DOB1"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> / <select name="F1DOB2"> <option value="">Day</option> <?php for ($i=1; $i<=31; $i++) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F1DOB2"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> / <select name="F1DOB3"> <option value="">Year</option> <?php for ($i=date('Y'); $i>=1900; $i--) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F1DOB3"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Address: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F1Address" value="<?php echo $fields['F1Address']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>City: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F1City" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1City']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>State: </td> <td><select name="F1State"><option value="">Choose a State</option><?php showOptionsDrop($states_arr, null, true); ?></select></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Zip Code: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F1Zip" size="6" maxlength="5" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1Zip']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Contact Telephone No: </td> <td>( <input type="text" name="F1Phone1" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1Phone1']; ?>" /> ) <input type="text" name="F1Phone2" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1Phone2']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F1Phone3" size="4" maxlength="4" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F1Phone3']; ?>" /> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Email:</td> <td><input type="text" name="F1Email" value="<?php echo $fields['F1Email']; ?>" /></td> </tr> </table> <?php } ?> <br /> <?php if ($_SESSION['Num_Fighters'] > "1") { ?> <table class="demoTable"> <tr> <td>First Name: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F2FirstName" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2FirstName']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Middle Initial: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F2MI" size="2" maxlength="1" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2MI']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Last Name: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F2LastName" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2LastName']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Federation No: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F2FedNum" maxlength="10" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2FedNum']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>SSN: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F2SSN1" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2SSN1']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F2SSN2" size="2" maxlength="2" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2SSN2']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F2SSN3" size="4" maxlength="4" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2SSN3']; ?>" /> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Date of Birth</td> <td> <select name="F2DOB1"> <option value="">Month</option> <?php for ($i=1; $i<=12; $i++) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F2DOB1"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> / <select name="F2DOB2"> <option value="">Day</option> <?php for ($i=1; $i<=31; $i++) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F2DOB2"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> / <select name="F2DOB3"> <option value="">Year</option> <?php for ($i=date('Y'); $i>=1900; $i--) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F2DOB3"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Address: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F2Address" value="<?php echo $fields['F2Address']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>City: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F2City" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2City']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>State: </td> <td><select name="F2State"><option value="">Choose a State</option><?php showOptionsDrop($states_arr, null, true); ?></select></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Zip Code: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F2Zip" size="6" maxlength="5" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2Zip']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Contact Telephone No: </td> <td>( <input type="text" name="F2Phone1" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2Phone1']; ?>" /> ) <input type="text" name="F2Phone2" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2Phone2']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F2Phone3" size="4" maxlength="4" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F2Phone3']; ?>" /> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Email:</td> <td><input type="text" name="F2Email" value="<?php echo $fields['F2Email']; ?>" /></td> </tr> </table> <?php } ?> <br /> <?php if ($_SESSION['Num_Fighters'] > "2") { ?> <table class="demoTable"> <tr> <td>First Name: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F3FirstName" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3FirstName']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Middle Initial: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F3MI" size="2" maxlength="1" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3MI']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Last Name: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F3LastName" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3LastName']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Federation No: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F3FedNum" maxlength="10" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3FedNum']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>SSN: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F3SSN1" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3SSN1']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F3SSN2" size="2" maxlength="2" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3SSN2']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F3SSN3" size="4" maxlength="4" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3SSN3']; ?>" /> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Date of Birth</td> <td> <select name="F3DOB1"> <option value="">Month</option> <?php for ($i=1; $i<=12; $i++) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F3DOB1"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> / <select name="F3DOB2"> <option value="">Day</option> <?php for ($i=1; $i<=31; $i++) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F3DOB2"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> / <select name="F3DOB3"> <option value="">Year</option> <?php for ($i=date('Y'); $i>=1900; $i--) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F3DOB3"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Address: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F3Address" value="<?php echo $fields['F3Address']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>City: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F3City" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3City']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>State: </td> <td><select name="F3State"><option value="">Choose a State</option><?php showOptionsDrop($states_arr, null, true); ?></select></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Zip Code: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F3Zip" size="6" maxlength="5" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3Zip']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Contact Telephone No: </td> <td>( <input type="text" name="F3Phone1" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3Phone1']; ?>" /> ) <input type="text" name="F3Phone2" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3Phone2']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F3Phone3" size="4" maxlength="4" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F3Phone3']; ?>" /> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Email:</td> <td><input type="text" name="F3Email" value="<?php echo $fields['F3Email']; ?>" /></td> </tr> </table> <?php } ?> <br /> <?php if ($_SESSION['Num_Fighters'] > "3") { ?> <table class="demoTable"> <tr> <td>First Name: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F4FirstName" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4FirstName']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Middle Initial: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F4MI" size="2" maxlength="1" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4MI']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Last Name: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F4LastName" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4LastName']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Federation No: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F4FedNum" maxlength="10" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4FedNum']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>SSN: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F4SSN1" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4SSN1']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F4SSN2" size="2" maxlength="2" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4SSN2']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F4SSN3" size="4" maxlength="4" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4SSN3']; ?>" /> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Date of Birth</td> <td> <select name="F4DOB1"> <option value="">Month</option> <?php for ($i=1; $i<=12; $i++) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F4DOB1"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> / <select name="F4DOB2"> <option value="">Day</option> <?php for ($i=1; $i<=31; $i++) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F4DOB2"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> / <select name="F4DOB3"> <option value="">Year</option> <?php for ($i=date('Y'); $i>=1900; $i--) { echo "<option value='$i'"; if ($fields["F4DOB3"] == $i) echo " selected"; echo ">$i</option>"; } ?> </select> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Address: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F4Address" value="<?php echo $fields['F4Address']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>City: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F4City" onkeyup="if(!this.value.match(/^([a-z]+\s?)*$/i))this.value=this.value.replace(/[^a-z ]/ig,'').replace(/\s+/g,' ')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4City']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>State: </td> <td><select name="F4State"><option value="">Choose a State</option><?php showOptionsDrop($states_arr, null, true); ?></select></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Zip Code: </td> <td><input type="text" name="F4Zip" size="6" maxlength="5" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4Zip']; ?>" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Contact Telephone No: </td> <td>( <input type="text" name="F4Phone1" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4Phone1']; ?>" /> ) <input type="text" name="F4Phone2" size="3" maxlength="3" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4Phone2']; ?>" /> - <input type="text" name="F4Phone3" size="4" maxlength="4" onkeyup="this.value=this.value.replace(/[^0-9]/ig, '')" value="<?php echo $fields['F4Phone3']; ?>" /> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>Email:</td> <td><input type="text" name="F4Email" value="<?php echo $fields['F4Email']; ?>" /></td> </tr> </table> <?php } ?> <div align="right"><input class="enrbutton" type="submit" name="submit" value="Continue" /></div> </form> This only goes through 4 athletes and I need it to capture 20. Any ideas? I am forced to keep all 200+ elements in SESSION assuming somebody enrolls 20 athletes.

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  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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  • Extending Oracle CEP with Predictive Analytics

    - by vikram.shukla(at)oracle.com
    Introduction: OCEP is often used as a business rules engine to execute a set of business logic rules via CQL statements, and take decisions based on the outcome of those rules. There are times where configuring rules manually is sufficient because an application needs to deal with only a small and well-defined set of static rules. However, in many situations customers don't want to pre-define such rules for two reasons. First, they are dealing with events with lots of columns and manually crafting such rules for each column or a set of columns and combinations thereof is almost impossible. Second, they are content with probabilistic outcomes and do not care about 100% precision. The former is the case when a user is dealing with data with high dimensionality, the latter when an application can live with "false" positives as they can be discarded after further inspection, say by a Human Task component in a Business Process Management software. The primary goal of this blog post is to show how this can be achieved by combining OCEP with Oracle Data Mining® and leveraging the latter's rich set of algorithms and functionality to do predictive analytics in real time on streaming events. The secondary goal of this post is also to show how OCEP can be extended to invoke any arbitrary external computation in an RDBMS from within CEP. The extensible facility is known as the JDBC cartridge. The rest of the post describes the steps required to achieve this: We use the dataset available at http://blogs.oracle.com/datamining/2010/01/fraud_and_anomaly_detection_made_simple.html to showcase the capabilities. We use it to show how transaction anomalies or fraud can be detected. Building the model: Follow the self-explanatory steps described at the above URL to build the model.  It is very simple - it uses built-in Oracle Data Mining PL/SQL packages to cleanse, normalize and build the model out of the dataset.  You can also use graphical Oracle Data Miner®  to build the models. To summarize, it involves: Specifying which algorithms to use. In this case we use Support Vector Machines as we're trying to find anomalies in highly dimensional dataset.Build model on the data in the table for the algorithms specified. For this example, the table was populated in the scott/tiger schema with appropriate privileges. Configuring the Data Source: This is the first step in building CEP application using such an integration.  Our datasource looks as follows in the server config file.  It is advisable that you use the Visualizer to add it to the running server dynamically, rather than manually edit the file.    <data-source>         <name>DataMining</name>         <data-source-params>             <jndi-names>                 <element>DataMining</element>             </jndi-names>             <global-transactions-protocol>OnePhaseCommit</global-transactions-protocol>         </data-source-params>         <connection-pool-params>             <credential-mapping-enabled></credential-mapping-enabled>             <test-table-name>SQL SELECT 1 from DUAL</test-table-name>             <initial-capacity>1</initial-capacity>             <max-capacity>15</max-capacity>             <capacity-increment>1</capacity-increment>         </connection-pool-params>         <driver-params>             <use-xa-data-source-interface>true</use-xa-data-source-interface>             <driver-name>oracle.jdbc.OracleDriver</driver-name>             <url>jdbc:oracle:thin:@localhost:1522:orcl</url>             <properties>                 <element>                     <value>scott</value>                     <name>user</name>                 </element>                 <element>                     <value>{Salted-3DES}AzFE5dDbO2g=</value>                     <name>password</name>                 </element>                                 <element>                     <name>com.bea.core.datasource.serviceName</name>                     <value>oracle11.2g</value>                 </element>                 <element>                     <name>com.bea.core.datasource.serviceVersion</name>                     <value>11.2.0</value>                 </element>                 <element>                     <name>com.bea.core.datasource.serviceObjectClass</name>                     <value>java.sql.Driver</value>                 </element>             </properties>         </driver-params>     </data-source>   Designing the EPN: The EPN is very simple in this example. We briefly describe each of the components. The adapter ("DataMiningAdapter") reads data from a .csv file and sends it to the CQL processor downstream. The event payload here is same as that of the table in the database (refer to the attached project or do a "desc table-name" from a SQL*PLUS prompt). While this is for convenience in this example, it need not be the case. One can still omit fields in the streaming events, and need not match all columns in the table on which the model was built. Better yet, it does not even need to have the same name as columns in the table, as long as you alias them in the USING clause of the mining function. (Caveat: they still need to draw values from a similar universe or domain, otherwise it constitutes incorrect usage of the model). There are two things in the CQL processor ("DataMiningProc") that make scoring possible on streaming events. 1.      User defined cartridge function Please refer to the OCEP CQL reference manual to find more details about how to define such functions. We include the function below in its entirety for illustration. <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> <jdbcctxconfig:config     xmlns:jdbcctxconfig="http://www.bea.com/ns/wlevs/config/application"     xmlns:jc="http://www.oracle.com/ns/ocep/config/jdbc">        <jc:jdbc-ctx>         <name>Oracle11gR2</name>         <data-source>DataMining</data-source>               <function name="prediction2">                                 <param name="CQLMONTH" type="char"/>                      <param name="WEEKOFMONTH" type="int"/>                      <param name="DAYOFWEEK" type="char" />                      <param name="MAKE" type="char" />                      <param name="ACCIDENTAREA"   type="char" />                      <param name="DAYOFWEEKCLAIMED"  type="char" />                      <param name="MONTHCLAIMED" type="char" />                      <param name="WEEKOFMONTHCLAIMED" type="int" />                      <param name="SEX" type="char" />                      <param name="MARITALSTATUS"   type="char" />                      <param name="AGE" type="int" />                      <param name="FAULT" type="char" />                      <param name="POLICYTYPE"   type="char" />                      <param name="VEHICLECATEGORY"  type="char" />                      <param name="VEHICLEPRICE" type="char" />                      <param name="FRAUDFOUND" type="int" />                      <param name="POLICYNUMBER" type="int" />                      <param name="REPNUMBER" type="int" />                      <param name="DEDUCTIBLE"   type="int" />                      <param name="DRIVERRATING"  type="int" />                      <param name="DAYSPOLICYACCIDENT"   type="char" />                      <param name="DAYSPOLICYCLAIM" type="char" />                      <param name="PASTNUMOFCLAIMS" type="char" />                      <param name="AGEOFVEHICLES" type="char" />                      <param name="AGEOFPOLICYHOLDER" type="char" />                      <param name="POLICEREPORTFILED" type="char" />                      <param name="WITNESSPRESNT" type="char" />                      <param name="AGENTTYPE" type="char" />                      <param name="NUMOFSUPP" type="char" />                      <param name="ADDRCHGCLAIM"   type="char" />                      <param name="NUMOFCARS" type="char" />                      <param name="CQLYEAR" type="int" />                      <param name="BASEPOLICY" type="char" />                                     <return-component-type>char</return-component-type>                                                      <sql><![CDATA[             SELECT to_char(PREDICTION_PROBABILITY(CLAIMSMODEL, '0' USING *))               AS probability             FROM (SELECT  :CQLMONTH AS MONTH,                                            :WEEKOFMONTH AS WEEKOFMONTH,                          :DAYOFWEEK AS DAYOFWEEK,                           :MAKE AS MAKE,                           :ACCIDENTAREA AS ACCIDENTAREA,                           :DAYOFWEEKCLAIMED AS DAYOFWEEKCLAIMED,                           :MONTHCLAIMED AS MONTHCLAIMED,                           :WEEKOFMONTHCLAIMED,                             :SEX AS SEX,                           :MARITALSTATUS AS MARITALSTATUS,                            :AGE AS AGE,                           :FAULT AS FAULT,                           :POLICYTYPE AS POLICYTYPE,                            :VEHICLECATEGORY AS VEHICLECATEGORY,                           :VEHICLEPRICE AS VEHICLEPRICE,                           :FRAUDFOUND AS FRAUDFOUND,                           :POLICYNUMBER AS POLICYNUMBER,                           :REPNUMBER AS REPNUMBER,                           :DEDUCTIBLE AS DEDUCTIBLE,                            :DRIVERRATING AS DRIVERRATING,                           :DAYSPOLICYACCIDENT AS DAYSPOLICYACCIDENT,                            :DAYSPOLICYCLAIM AS DAYSPOLICYCLAIM,                           :PASTNUMOFCLAIMS AS PASTNUMOFCLAIMS,                           :AGEOFVEHICLES AS AGEOFVEHICLES,                           :AGEOFPOLICYHOLDER AS AGEOFPOLICYHOLDER,                           :POLICEREPORTFILED AS POLICEREPORTFILED,                           :WITNESSPRESNT AS WITNESSPRESENT,                           :AGENTTYPE AS AGENTTYPE,                           :NUMOFSUPP AS NUMOFSUPP,                           :ADDRCHGCLAIM AS ADDRCHGCLAIM,                            :NUMOFCARS AS NUMOFCARS,                           :CQLYEAR AS YEAR,                           :BASEPOLICY AS BASEPOLICY                 FROM dual)                 ]]>         </sql>        </function>     </jc:jdbc-ctx> </jdbcctxconfig:config> 2.      Invoking the function for each event. Once this function is defined, you can invoke it from CQL as follows: <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> <wlevs:config xmlns:wlevs="http://www.bea.com/ns/wlevs/config/application">   <processor>     <name>DataMiningProc</name>     <rules>        <query id="q1"><![CDATA[                     ISTREAM(SELECT S.CQLMONTH,                                   S.WEEKOFMONTH,                                   S.DAYOFWEEK, S.MAKE,                                   :                                         S.BASEPOLICY,                                    C.F AS probability                                                 FROM                                 StreamDataChannel [NOW] AS S,                                 TABLE(prediction2@Oracle11gR2(S.CQLMONTH,                                      S.WEEKOFMONTH,                                      S.DAYOFWEEK,                                       S.MAKE, ...,                                      S.BASEPOLICY) AS F of char) AS C)                       ]]></query>                 </rules>               </processor>           </wlevs:config>   Finally, the last stage in the EPN prints out the probability of the event being an anomaly. One can also define a threshold in CQL to filter out events that are normal, i.e., below a certain mark as defined by the analyst or designer. Sample Runs: Now let's see how this behaves when events are streamed through CEP. We use only two events for brevity, one normal and other one not. This is one of the "normal" looking events and the probability of it being anomalous is less than 60%. Event is: eventType=DataMiningOutEvent object=q1  time=2904821976256 S.CQLMONTH=Dec, S.WEEKOFMONTH=5, S.DAYOFWEEK=Wednesday, S.MAKE=Honda, S.ACCIDENTAREA=Urban, S.DAYOFWEEKCLAIMED=Tuesday, S.MONTHCLAIMED=Jan, S.WEEKOFMONTHCLAIMED=1, S.SEX=Female, S.MARITALSTATUS=Single, S.AGE=21, S.FAULT=Policy Holder, S.POLICYTYPE=Sport - Liability, S.VEHICLECATEGORY=Sport, S.VEHICLEPRICE=more than 69000, S.FRAUDFOUND=0, S.POLICYNUMBER=1, S.REPNUMBER=12, S.DEDUCTIBLE=300, S.DRIVERRATING=1, S.DAYSPOLICYACCIDENT=more than 30, S.DAYSPOLICYCLAIM=more than 30, S.PASTNUMOFCLAIMS=none, S.AGEOFVEHICLES=3 years, S.AGEOFPOLICYHOLDER=26 to 30, S.POLICEREPORTFILED=No, S.WITNESSPRESENT=No, S.AGENTTYPE=External, S.NUMOFSUPP=none, S.ADDRCHGCLAIM=1 year, S.NUMOFCARS=3 to 4, S.CQLYEAR=1994, S.BASEPOLICY=Liability, probability=.58931702982118561 isTotalOrderGuarantee=true\nAnamoly probability: .58931702982118561 However, the following event is scored as an anomaly with a very high probability of  89%. So there is likely to be something wrong with it. A close look reveals that the value of "deductible" field (10000) is not "normal". What exactly constitutes normal here?. If you run the query on the database to find ALL distinct values for the "deductible" field, it returns the following set: {300, 400, 500, 700} Event is: eventType=DataMiningOutEvent object=q1  time=2598483773496 S.CQLMONTH=Dec, S.WEEKOFMONTH=5, S.DAYOFWEEK=Wednesday, S.MAKE=Honda, S.ACCIDENTAREA=Urban, S.DAYOFWEEKCLAIMED=Tuesday, S.MONTHCLAIMED=Jan, S.WEEKOFMONTHCLAIMED=1, S.SEX=Female, S.MARITALSTATUS=Single, S.AGE=21, S.FAULT=Policy Holder, S.POLICYTYPE=Sport - Liability, S.VEHICLECATEGORY=Sport, S.VEHICLEPRICE=more than 69000, S.FRAUDFOUND=0, S.POLICYNUMBER=1, S.REPNUMBER=12, S.DEDUCTIBLE=10000, S.DRIVERRATING=1, S.DAYSPOLICYACCIDENT=more than 30, S.DAYSPOLICYCLAIM=more than 30, S.PASTNUMOFCLAIMS=none, S.AGEOFVEHICLES=3 years, S.AGEOFPOLICYHOLDER=26 to 30, S.POLICEREPORTFILED=No, S.WITNESSPRESENT=No, S.AGENTTYPE=External, S.NUMOFSUPP=none, S.ADDRCHGCLAIM=1 year, S.NUMOFCARS=3 to 4, S.CQLYEAR=1994, S.BASEPOLICY=Liability, probability=.89171554529576691 isTotalOrderGuarantee=true\nAnamoly probability: .89171554529576691 Conclusion: By way of this example, we show: real-time scoring of events as they flow through CEP leveraging Oracle Data Mining.how CEP applications can invoke complex arbitrary external computations (function shipping) in an RDBMS.

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  • Dell Optiplex 980 vs. Dell Studio XPS 9000?

    - by Dave
    My company is allowing me to upgrade to either the XPS 9000 or the Optiplex 980. I haven't bought an Optiplex in over a decade, and the only thing I can remember is that the Optiplex is really meant for corporate IT environments, and we're not even close being large enough to have IT issues. I think the components might be of higher quality as well, like the motherboard and power supply. The XPS 9000 is about $150 cheaper than the Optiplex, but the Optiplex has 4GB more RAM, a 2nd video card, and an extra year of service. Seems like the Optiplex is a better deal overall, but since I haven't ever used one, I wanted to see what everyone else here thought.

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  • Zimbra vs. Kerio Connect

    - by rahum
    We've been a Kerio partner for years and have deployed much Kerio Connect. Now we're looking at beginning hosting groupware for our clients and are wrestling over the right backend. Kerio Connect is fantastic, but we have a couple gripes: Kerio is often weeks behind on releases to keep up with major Microsoft and Apple updates that break functionality or at least impede new Apple/Microsoft features in their desktop clients We've been worried that Kerio has a historical habit of corrupting Apple's Open Directory; we know this happened years ago, and have suspected it happening earlier this year There's always some one or two features that are buggy in Kerio, in every release. These usually aren't dealbreakers, just annoyances. Kerio does not have any kind of HA feature set How does Zimbra compare? What are your gripes? Thanks! noam

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  • With Bluetooth keyboard, Bluetooth mouse movement is jerky on Macbook Pro

    - by donut
    I have a Macbook Pro 2,2 from early 2007. I've been using a Targus Bluetooth Laser Mouse for Mac for over a year now and its been wonderful (except for the optical scroll). Tracking has been as smooth as butter. Then someone game me an old Apple Wireless (Bluetooth) Keyboard. When both are connected, the keyboard seems to work just fine but the mouse's tracking is jerky and mouse clicks are occasionally missed. Using the trackpad on my laptop is still smooth and silk. Any ideas of fixing this or do I need a wired keyboard? I'm running Mac OS X 10.5.8

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  • MemCached on Windows x64

    - by Django Reinhardt
    This question has previously been asked, but that was a year ago and I wanted to know if there had been any developments since then. Basically we'd like to use a MemCached Server on a Windows Server 2008 R2 machine... which is only x64, obviously. I haven't found any details on a Win64 version of MemCached, but there is still the solution from the previous thread (which I haven't tried yet) to use a bit of software called MemCacheD Manager running MemCached 1.2.6. However, the current version of MCd is 1.4.4 and I was wondering if there had been any improvements since then.

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  • DDR3 10600 memory running at 533mhz

    - by Elger
    I bought a second hand hp dl160 g6 a year ago with 48GB configured in it. I discovered checking with cpu-z and doublechecked with speccy the memory runs at only 533Mhz. I checked the configuration with the HP memory configurator and the banks are populated correctly for max performance. There are 12 banks populated with micron and hynix memory of 4gb, all capable of running 1333mhz. What could me wrong here? C:\Users\Administrator>wmic Memorychip get manufacturer, partnumber, speed, seri alnumber, devicelocator, banklabel BankLabel DeviceLocator Manufacturer PartNumber SerialNumber Speed BANK0 PROC 1 DIMM 3A Micron 36JSZF51272PZ1G4F C5DF65D7 1333 BANK1 PROC 1 DIMM 2D Micron 36JSZF51272PY1G4D 951565E0 1333 BANK3 PROC 1 DIMM 6B Micron 36JSZF51272PZ1G4F 3F3160D6 1333 BANK4 PROC 1 DIMM 5E Hyundai HMT151R7BFR4C-H9 E28A3014 1333 BANK6 PROC 1 DIMM 9C Micron 36JSZF51272PZ1G4F 26DF7E1A 1333 BANK7 PROC 1 DIMM 8F Micron 36JSZF51272PZ1G4G 77FC67D7 1333 BANK9 PROC 2 DIMM 3A Hyundai HMT151R7BFR4C-H9 FB763433 1333 BANK10 PROC 2 DIMM 2D Hyundai HMT151R7BFR4C-H9 E18AA014 1333 BANK12 PROC 2 DIMM 6B Hyundai HMT151R7BFR4C-H9 DF8A1014 1333 BANK13 PROC 2 DIMM 5E Hyundai HMT151R7BFR4C-H9 6968511A 1333 BANK15 PROC 2 DIMM 9C Hyundai HMT151R7BFR4C-H9 F28A7014 1333 BANK16 PROC 2 DIMM 8F Micron 36JSZF51272PZ1G4G 76FC67D7 1333

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  • How can I install the latest full version of Canon ZoomBrowser EX without the original CD?

    - by Sorin Sbarnea
    ZoomBrowser EX comes with Canon cameras. Canon software enigeering team did a really poor job analyzing how people are using the software: people do lose their x-year old CD or do not have it with them when travelling do not have a CD drive at all (very common nowdays) Canon updater from their website does not allow you to install the software if it does not find the original CD in the drive. The question is how do I trick the installer to run on a computer and install the product that I payed for. Currently the latest version is 6.5.1.15 and you can download the updater from Canon website. In fact the updater is just the full installer but it doesn't allow you to install if it doesn't find a previous install or the original CD. Note: In the past I used to save a registry file with registry keys used by it, loading it did allowed me to run the installer but now, with Windows 7 x64 it seams that it doesn't work anymore.

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  • Luminis and Google Apps Single Sign On

    - by J.Zimmerman
    We are a community college that is plodding forward with a Google Apps for Education implementation. There is support for Single Sign On and a fair amount of documentation for implementing it. We are looking to provide integration with our portal which is currently Luminis 3 (we are upgrading to Luminis 4 within a year). There is documentation available for Luminis specific integration, but apparently it is by request only. I have put the request in to SungardHE (where we license Luminis) and am waiting for a response. My questions are as follows... Is anyone here running Luminis? Have you tried to integrate it with a 3rd party email service like Google Apps for Education or Microsoft LiveEDU? If so, can you elaborate on implementation details above and beyond your Luminis installation and Google Apps setup? Looking for more of a general road map and differences between integration options with Luminis 3 and Luminis 4. Thanks!

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  • Unlimited and multi-computer online storage solutions with automatic backup

    - by JRL
    As the title says, what are the existing online storage solutions that provide: unlimited storage automatic backup and allow for an unlimited number of computers (use not tied to a single computer)? There are several existing questions on this site related to online storage solutions, but none that is specifically targeted to what I want, so I thought I'd ask the question. This wikipedia article lists some of them, are there others? How do they compare in terms of price, feature set and ease of use? Update: Kinda disappointed no one has any answers to this so far. JungleDisk looks promising, anyone have experience with it? Update 2: To answer the comments, what I'm looking for definitely DOES exist. These solutions all seem to fit the bill: BackMii CrashPlan DataPreserve Humyo JungleDisk KeepVault SpiderOak And some of them are quite cheap (CrashPlan is $100 a year). For unlimited space and computers, I'd say that's pretty good. Does anyone have experience with CrashPlan or any other of the above solutions?

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  • Which part of the computer needs all the power from the PSU?

    - by Xeoncross
    A couple years ago I was building a new Core 2 Quad system and after reading all the reviews was convinced that I would need at least a 400 watt power supply unit (PSU). I bought a 500W Antec EarthWatts However, last year I bought a Kill-A-Watt power meter to test some things around our house and found that my PC was only using 80W of power while idle! (C2Q, 4GB RAM, SATA HD, & DVD burner) Well, here I am building another computer with a 65watt Core 2 CPU in it and I'm wondering if I can skimp out this time and get a 300watt or so unit since my usage doesn't seem to be what everyone claims it is. I'm sure that the people in the reviews who exhausted 500watt PSU weren't lying - so what is it that uses all that? The high-end dual SLI video cards? Lots of SATA drives? Overclocking?

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  • How to run Firefox in Protected Mode? (i.e. at low integrity level)

    - by Ian Boyd
    i noticed that Firefox, unlike Chrome and Internet Explorer, doesn't run in the Low Mandatory Level (aka Protected Mode, Low Integrity) Google Chrome: Microsoft Internet Explorer: Mozilla Firefox: Following Microsoft's instructions, i can manually force Firefox into Low Integrity Mode by using: icacls firefox.exe /setintegritylevel Low But Firefox doesn't react well to not running with enough rights: i like the security of knowing that my browser is running with less rights than i have. Is there a way to run Firefox into low rights mode? Is Mozilla planning on adding "protected mode" sometime? Has someone found a workaround to Firefox not handling low rights mode? Update From a July 2007 interview with Mike Schroepfer, VP of Engineering at the Mozilla Foundation: ...we also believe in defense in depth and are investigating protected mode along with many other techniques to improve security for future releases. After a year and a half it doesn't seem like it is a priority.

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  • Why does my motherboard go through an endless reboot cycle when 8 GB of memory is attempted vs 6 GB?

    - by nizm0
    I never got an answer in my googling to this about a year ago and have an extra stick of memory I'd like to be able to use. When is inserted the computer starts, and then reboots immediately in an endless reboot cycle. As soon as the 4th stick is removed, the computer works fine. Right now I have 6 GB of my 8 GB installed. Is there a solution that I am missing to enabling this motherboard to actually boot up with all 8 GB (it supports it). Right now it won't even boot up to BIOS with the 4 sticks... only 3? Memory: 1 x G.SKILL 4 GB (2 x 2 GB) 240-Pin DDR2 SDRAM DDR2 1100 (PC2 8800) Dual Channel Kit Desktop Memory Model F2-8800CL5D-4GBPI - Retail (URL: ) http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16820231194 Motherboard: 1 x GIGABYTE GA-EP45-UD3R LGA 775 Intel P45 ATX Intel Motherboard - Retail ( URL: )http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16813128359

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  • XP, how to apply security to files, now have simple file sharing and can't access some files from other machines ?

    - by Jules
    For a month or two now I've been using simple file sharing, for several months before that I didn't, then before that I had simple file sharing tuned on. So at the moment I don't have a security tab (on files or folders) or sharing permissions settings there too. As an example, from another machine, I can access files from 2007 but not from the summer of last year in the same folder. I can access all files on that local machine. So I think I just need to re-apply security or permissions somehow? What should I do?

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  • Windows 7 / ATI CCC - Monitor limit?

    - by james.ingham
    Hi all, I have a Ati 4850 X2 and back in the days when Windows 7 was in beta, I had this running with 4 monitors (Crossfire off). Now I have come to set this up again, with a RTM version of Windows 7 and the latest ATI drivers and it seems I can only have two monitors on at one time. If I try and set the monitors up in Control Panel, it simply disables the non-primary monitor, and if I attempt to do it in CCC, I get the message "To extend the desktop, a desktop or display must be disabled." Does anyone know why this is and/or how to fix it? I've currently tried using the latest ATI drivers and the drivers (i think) I was using over a year ago when I had this setup. Thanks - James

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  • I want to move columns in a gradebook based on the column header title to another gradebook

    - by Pat
    I have to average grades based on each objective for a new report card we have to complete this year. For example Column one has students names, each additional column will have the objective associated with the assignment. I would like to move the entire column to another sheet for each objective. Is there a formula or macro that will do that. For example objective 3.1A is in columns 2, 5, and 7, objective 3.2B is located in columns 1, 4, 10, and 12, objective 3.4c is in column 3, 6, 9, and 11. I would like to have a spreadsheet for each objective.

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  • Stack overflow in xp cmd console

    - by Dave
    I am using an older program whose source code I cannot see. I am using the cmd.exe console in windows xp. The program ran with no problems on an xp machine last year, while a stack overflow code 2000 error was observed on a different xp machine (easy fix - use the machine that works). I tried running the program on the previously working machine lately, and now am getting the same error. No changes to the os were made and I did not change the service pack version. Any ideas on how to get around this stack overflow error so I can use the program? Dosbox will at least open the program, however it does not run to completion. Thanks!

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  • How can I connect any USB device to my computer wirelessly?

    - by daviesgeek
    I am trying to connect the Canon 550D wirelessly to my computer so that I can control it from at a distance. It can connect normally via a USB cable, so I was wondering if there was a way to plug a dongle into the computer, and a dongle into the camera so the two can connect. I'm basically looking for a really long USB cord that will work over long distances (200+ feet). Another important factor is that I really would prefer not having use a power cord, rather just plugging in a dongle, as it will make the setup more mobile. Does anything like this exist? (I know that Cables Unlimited had something like what I wanted, but they went out of business last year)

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  • Hard disk problem pop up warning

    - by Leonardo
    I'm using windows 7 ultimate and it started to give me this hard disk problem warning that i had before in another OS that made me disable smart, it has been over a year since i did and my pc is running ok so my HDD is ok. all i wanna do is disable this warning that popsup while i'm gaming or doing anything else. thanks for your help :) Edit: (adding in info that was added as an answer instead of part of the question) So it's me again and i agree with both answers but i don't have the money right now to buy a new one, and yeah it could die now, i can't say. so i uploaded an image of hd tune pro scan on my HDD thanks again! anymore information would be even better, bye.

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  • Windows does not recognize DVDs inserted into Blu-ray drive

    - by icemanind
    I am having a problem with a Blu-ray drive I have in my PC. Its a Blu-ray reader drive and it reads and writes CDs and DVDs. My drive has been working great for about a year now, but for some reason now, when I insert a DVD, Windows 7 doesn't recognize that there is a disc in the drive. I have to eject the disc and insert it again. I sometimes have to do this like 30 times before it "catches" and Windows 7 recognizes the disc. My discs are not scratched up. It does it even with brand new discs. I've tried about 10 different DVDs and the same problem happens. One thing that is weird though is that the problem does not seem to happen when I insert Blu-ray discs. The problem only happens with DVD discs. I tried running a drive lens cleaner. Same issue. Any suggestions?

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  • How do you persuade users to abandon their personal folders?

    - by thing2k
    Towards the end of last year we started using Mimecast services, in particular their cloud base e-mail archiving. Since then we’ve been rolling out the Mimecast Services for Outlook (MSO) Add-in. We’ve informed the users that we will be give them training in the next few Months, and we do not require them to use it, but my boss stated that we are getting rid of Personal Folders (pst files), by putting them into Mimecast. Unsurprisingly this did cause something of a backlash. Though really who likes change. I know the IT reasons for getting rid of Personal Folders (inefficient, unreliable, single access, etc), but from an average user’s perspective, unless they have had one fail on them, they see them as simple and only way to archive e-mail when their 200Mb mailbox is full. So what can I say to the users, to get them to understand why Personal Folders are not the best solution?

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  • Best free (or cheap) ASP.NET based CMS for a club/association?

    - by marc_s
    I've been looking for a simple, intuitive ASP.NET based CMS to handle my club/association site. It should be based on ASP.NET so I can add some extra specific pages offer a membership system, e.g. I want to be able to define members which can e.g. comment posts, while anonymous users can only read (no active participation) have features like news, forums, blogs, picture gallery be simple and easy to use I've been looking at GraffitiCMS: so far my favorite, but it has no forum, and no membership system, and no future, it seems - no development whatsoever in over a year :-( Sitefinity: had extreme trouble even getting it installed, and when it's finally up and running, I find it overly complicated and not intuitive at all Umbraco: same problem - hard to install, hard to get up and running, the intro videos on their site are only available to paying subscribers (what's up with that deal???)..... DotNetNuke: seems like a major overkill Community Server: seems like a major overkill - and seems to be more and more commercial, only Any others I've missed that I should have definitely looked at ??

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  • How to jailbreak iPhone 3.1.2

    - by Md. Faisal Rahman
    Hi iPhone Developers, I am developing an iPhone application for appStore since last year for a SoftwareCompany. Now I have my own firm and want to develop apps for Apple appstore. In Bangladesh iPhone is locked by default. I bought an iPhone from US, but I can't use it as it is locked. Now how can I unlocked it? is jailbreaking necessary? If jailbreaking is necessary then please tell me (or link me to/pdf file etc) some trustable/ unthrened process that allows me to jailbreak my iPhone 3GS 3.1.2. please reply ASAP. Thanks

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  • Gateway SX2300-01u CPU/PSU issues

    - by Vlad
    I have a 2-yr-old Gateway SX2300-01u with an AMD Phenom X3 8550 that I feel has about a year or so of life left, but I am having a couple of hardware issues that I have not been able to resolve. First, the power supply fan sounds like much louder than before and the PSU itself is really hot. The PSU model (Liteon PS 5221-06) is not available at a reasonable price; are there any good alternatives? Could I replace just the PSU fan? Also, the CPU fan failed sometime back, but my replacement, which supposedly fits the MB (Socket AM2+) doesn't actually fit properly. Any idea why?

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