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• (1 2 3 . #<void>)- heapsort

  - by superguay

  Hello everybody: I tried to implement a "pairing heap" with all the regular operations (merge, delete-min etc.), then I've been requested to write a function that would sort a list using my newly constructed heap implementation. Unfortunately it seems that someting goes wrong... Here's the relevant code: (define (heap-merge h1 h2) (cond ((heap-empty? h1) h2) ((heap-empty? h2) h1) (else (let ((min1 (heap-get-min h1)) (min2 (heap-get-min h2))) (if ((heap-get-less h1) min1 min2) (make-pairing-heap (heap-get-less h1) min1 (cons h2 (heap-get-subheaps h1))) (make-pairing-heap (heap-get-less h1) min2 (cons h1 (heap-get-subheaps h2)))))))) (define (heap-insert element h) (heap-merge (make-pairing-heap (heap-get-less h) element '()) h)) (define (heap-delete-min h) (define (merge-in-pairs less? subheaps) (cond ((null? subheaps) (make-heap less?)) ((null? (cdr subheaps)) (car subheaps)) (else (heap-merge (heap-merge (car subheaps) (cadr subheaps)) (merge-in-pairs less? (cddr subheaps)))))) (if (heap-empty? h) (error "expected pairing-heap for first argument, got an empty heap ") (merge-in-pairs (heap-get-less h) (heap-get-subheaps h)))) (define (heapsort l less?) (let aux ((h (accumulate heap-insert (make-heap less?) l))) (if (not (heap-empty? h)) (cons (heap-get-min h) (aux (heap-delete-min h)))))) And these are some selectors that may help you to understand the code: (define (make-pairing-heap less? min subheaps) (cons less? (cons min subheaps))) (define (make-heap less?) (cons less? '())) (define (heap-get-less h) (car h)) (define (heap-empty? h) (if (null? (cdr h)) #t #f)) Now lets get to the problem: When i run 'heapsort' it returns the sorted list with "void", as you can see: (heapsort (list 1 2 3) <) (1 2 3 . #)..HOW CAN I FIX IT? Regards, Superguay

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• DrScheme versus mzscheme: treatment of definitions

  - by speciousfool

  One long term project I have is working through all the exercises of SICP. I noticed something a bit odd with the most recent exercise. I am testing a Huffman encoding tree. When I execute the following code in DrScheme I get the expected result: (a d a b b c a) However, if I execute this same code in mzscheme by calling (load "2.67.scm") or by running mzscheme -f 2.67.scm, it reports: symbols: expected symbols as arguments, given: (leaf D 1) My question is: why? Is it because mzscheme and drscheme use different rules for loading program definitions? The program code is below. ;; Define an encoding tree and a sample message ;; Use the decode procedure to decode the message, and give the result. (define (make-leaf symbol weight) (list 'leaf symbol weight)) (define (leaf? object) (eq? (car object) 'leaf)) (define (symbol-leaf x) (cadr x)) (define (weight-leaf x) (caddr x)) (define (make-code-tree left right) (list left right (append (symbols left) (symbols right)) (+ (weight left) (weight right)))) (define (left-branch tree) (car tree)) (define (right-branch tree) (cadr tree)) (define (symbols tree) (if (leaf? tree) (list (symbol-leaf tree)) (caddr tree))) (define (weight tree) (if (leaf? tree) (weight-leaf tree) (cadddr tree))) (define (decode bits tree) (define (decode-1 bits current-branch) (if (null? bits) '() (let ((next-branch (choose-branch (car bits) current-branch))) (if (leaf? next-branch) (cons (symbol-leaf next-branch) (decode-1 (cdr bits) tree)) (decode-1 (cdr bits) next-branch))))) (decode-1 bits tree)) (define (choose-branch bit branch) (cond ((= bit 0) (left-branch branch)) ((= bit 1) (right-branch branch)) (else (error "bad bit -- CHOOSE-BRANCH" bit)))) (define (test s-exp) (display s-exp) (newline)) (define sample-tree (make-code-tree (make-leaf 'A 4) (make-code-tree (make-leaf 'B 2) (make-code-tree (make-leaf 'D 1) (make-leaf 'C 1))))) (define sample-message '(0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 0)) (test (decode sample-message sample-tree))

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• Create Keyword Object Perl Microsoft::AdCenter

  - by toobsco42

  So I looked at the perldoc for the Microsoft::AdCenter module and it shows this as an example of how to create a keyword object: ~$ perldoc Microsoft::AdCenter #Create a Keyword object my $keyword = Microsoft::AdCenter::V7::CampaignManagementService::Keyword->new ->Text("some text") ->BroadMatchBid(Microsoft::AdCenter::V7::CampaignManagementService::Bid->new->Amount(0.1)) ->ExactMatchBid(Microsoft::AdCenter::V7::CampaignManagementService::Bid->new->Amount(0.1)); However, doesn't this violate the new policy of using only one match type per keyword? Campaign Management changes: "Previously, you would create a single Keyword object and specify a bid value for each match that you wanted to bid on (for example, exact match or phrase match). If you did not specify a bid value at the keyword-level, adCenter used the default bid value specified at the ad group level. Now, you must create a Keyword object for each match type that you want to bid on. For example, to bid on the keyword car by using exact match and phrase match, create a Keyword object and set the Text element to car and the ExactMatchBid element to a bid amount. Then, create a second Keyword object and set the Text element to car and PhraseMatchBid to a bid amount. When you add the keywords, you’ll get a unique keyword ID for each keyword and match-type combination."

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• AutoCompleteTextView not displaying result even when the ArrayAdapter is updated

  - by cant0na

  I'm trying to get an AutoCompleteTextView(ACTV) to display results I'm a getting from a network resource. I have set the completion-treshold to 2 and I can see that the request is fired when I enter to characters. The result I am getting is the correct one. Lets say I write "ca", and I get the result "car" as an autocompletion. I have a callback function which receives the result from an AsyncTask and puts the result into the ArrayAdapter. Then I call .showDropDown() on the ACTV and an empty dropdown is shown (half the size of a normal element). Then if I enter the last letter "r" and the ACTV shows "car", the dropdown is shown and the result is suddenly in the list. The same happens if I have entered two characters (which returns a valid result), and the remove the last letter. When the letter is removed, "car" is shown as an autocompletion value. Has anyone had this problem? It looks like the adapter is filled with the result, but the result does not show until the next action I do. I have also tried to run .notifyDataSetChanged() after I have added the result to the adapter, but that should not be needed, or?

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• Specification Pattern and Boolean Operator Precedence

  - by Anders Nielsen

  In our project, we have implemented the Specification Pattern with boolean operators (see DDD p 274), like so: public abstract class Rule { public Rule and(Rule rule) { return new AndRule(this, rule); } public Rule or(Rule rule) { return new OrRule(this, rule); } public Rule not() { return new NotRule(this); } public abstract boolean isSatisfied(T obj); } class AndRule extends Rule { private Rule one; private Rule two; AndRule(Rule one, Rule two) { this.one = one; this.two = two; } public boolean isSatisfied(T obj) { return one.isSatisfied(obj) && two.isSatisfied(obj); } } class OrRule extends Rule { private Rule one; private Rule two; OrRule(Rule one, Rule two) { this.one = one; this.two = two; } public boolean isSatisfied(T obj) { return one.isSatisfied(obj) || two.isSatisfied(obj); } } class NotRule extends Rule { private Rule rule; NotRule(Rule obj) { this.rule = obj; } public boolean isSatisfied(T obj) { return !rule.isSatisfied(obj); } } Which permits a nice expressiveness of the rules using method-chaining, but it doesn't support the standard operator precedence rules of which can lead to subtle errors. The following rules are not equivalent: Rule<Car> isNiceCar = isRed.and(isConvertible).or(isFerrari); Rule<Car> isNiceCar2 = isFerrari.or(isRed).and(isConvertible); The rule isNiceCar2 is not satisfied if the car is not a convertible, which can be confusing since if they were booleans isRed && isConvertible || isFerrari would be equivalent to isFerrari || isRed && isConvertible I realize that they would be equivalent if we rewrote isNiceCar2 to be isFerrari.or(isRed.and(isConvertible)), but both are syntactically correct. The best solution we can come up with, is to outlaw the method-chaining, and use constructors instead: OR(isFerrari, AND(isConvertible, isRed)) Does anyone have a better suggestion?

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• Checkbox in an email

  - by Austin

  I am creating an email using the c# MailMessage and I am trying to add a checkbox that doesn't need to be clicked. The checkboxes will be used for a checklist of what to bring to an event (like a packing list). I have: MailMessage objEmail = new MailMessage(); objEmail.From = new MailAddress("[email protected]"); objEmail.To.Add(new MailAddress("[email protected]")); objEmail.CC.Add(new MailAddress("[email protected]")); objEmail.Bcc.Add(new MailAddress("[email protected]")); objEmail.Subject = "Packing list!"; objEmail.IsBodyHtml = true; objEmail.Body = @"<div width=""800px""> <h3>WHAT TO BRING</h3> <form> <input type=""checkbox"" name=""item"" value=""shirt"">Shirt<br> <input type=""checkbox"" name=""item"" value=""shoes"">Shoes </form></div>"; but when I send the email the checkboxes do not appear in the list. Output in outlook using outlook.com: WHAT TO BRING I have a bike I have a car Output in outlook using Microsoft Outlook: WHAT TO BRING [ ]I have a bike [ ]I have a car Output in outlook using hotmail.com: WHAT TO BRING I have a bike []I have a car So the problem is with the mail client but it is inconsistent what the problem is. I s there any way to make a consistent output? Is there a way with html that works to create the checkboxes or do I just need to include images of a checkbox? Thanks in advance.

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• Ranking/ weighing search result

  - by biso

  I am trying to build an application that has a smart adaptive search engine (lets say for cars). If I search for for 4x4 then the DB will return all the 4x4 cars I have (100 cars) - but as time goes by and I start checking out cars, liking them, commenting on them, etc the order of the search result should be the different. That means 1 month later when searching for 4x4, I should get the same result set ordered differently as per my previous interaction with the site. If I was mainly liking and commenting on German cars, BMW should be on the top and Land cruiser should be further down. This ranking should be based on attributes that I captureduring user interaction (eg: car origin, user age, user location, car type[4x4, coupe, hatchback], price range). So for each car result I get, I will be weighing it based on how well it is performing on the 5 attributes above. I intend to use the DB just as a repository and do the ranking and the thinking on the server. My question is, what kind of algorithm should I be using to weigh/rank my search result? Thanks.

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• Unable to persist objects in GAE JDO

  - by Basil Dsouza

  Hello Guys, I am completely fresh to both JDO and GAE, and have been struggling to get my data layer to persist any code at all! The issues I am facing may be very simple, but I just cant seem to find any a way no matter what solution I try. Firstly the problem: (Slightly simplified, but still contains all the info necessary) My data model is as such: User: (primary key) String emailID String firstName Car: (primary key) User user (primary key) String registration String model This was the initial datamodel. I implemented a CarPK object to get a composite primary key of the User and the registration. However that ran into a variety of issues. (Which i will save for another time/question) I then changed the design as such: User: (Unchanged) Car: (primary key) String fauxPK (here fauxPK = user.getEmailID() + SEP + registration) User user String registration String model This works fine for the user, and it can insert and retrieve user objects. However when i try to insert a Car Object, i get the following error: "Cannot have a java.lang.String primary key and be a child object" Found the following helpful link about it: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/2063467/persist-list-of-objects Went to the link suggested there, that explains how to create Keys, however they keep talking about "Entity Groups" and "Entity Group Parents". But I cant seem to find any articles or sites that explain what are "Entity Group"s or an "Entity Group Parents" I could try fiddling around some more to figure out if i can store an object somehow, But I am running sort on patience and also would rather understand and implement than vice versa. So i would appreciate any docs (even if its huge) that covers all these points, and preferably has some examples that go beyond the very basic data modeling. And thanks for reading such a long post :)

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• How can several different datatypes be saved in one table

  - by poseidon

  This is my situation: I am constructing an ad-like application in Django and Mysql. I am using a flexible-ad approach where we have: a table with ad categories (several categories such as home, furniture, cars, etc.) id_category name a table with details for the ad categories (home: area, squared meters. car: seats, color.) id_detail id_category (the categ the detail describes) name type (boolean, char, int, long, etc.) the ad table (i am selling a house. i am selling a car.) id_ad id_category text date a table where i plan to consolidate the details of the ads (home: A-area, 500 sq-meters. car: 5 seats, red.) id_detail_ad id_ad id_detail value Is this possible? Can I have a table of details for all the ads, even if details include numbers, texts, booleans, etc? Or would I have to save them all as text and then interpret them via code accordingly? Please express your opinions. Thank you.

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• Find messages from certain key till certain key while being able to remove stale keys.

  - by Alfred

  My problem Let's say I add messages to some sort of datastructure: 1. "dude" 2. "where" 3. "is" 4. "my" 5. "car" Asking for messages from index[4,5] should return: "my","car". Next let's assume that after a while I would like to purge old messages because they aren't useful anymore and I want to save memory. Let's say at time x messages[1-3] became stale. I assume that it would be most efficient to just do the deletion once every x seconds. Next my datastructure should contain: 4. "my" 5. "car" My solution? I was thinking of using a concurrentskiplistset or concurrentskiplist map. Also I was thinking of deleting the old messages from inside a newSingleThreadScheduledExecutor. I would like to know how you would implement(efficiently/thread-safe) this or maybe use a library?

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• Design Advice Needed For Synonyms Database

  - by James J

  I'm planning to put together a database that can be used to query synonyms of words. The database will end up huge, so the idea is to keep things running fast. I've been thinking about how to do this, but my database design skills are not up to scratch these days. My initial idea was to have each word stored in one table, and then another table with a 1 to many relationship where each word can be linked to another word and that table can be queried. The application I'm developing allows users to highlight a word, and then type in, or select some synonyms from the database for that word. The application learns from the user input so if someone highlights "car" and types in "motor" the database would be updated to link the relationship if it don't exist already. What I don't want to happen is for a user to type in the word "shop" and link it to the word car. So I'm thinking I will need to add some sort of weight to each relationship. Eventually the synonyms the users enter will be used so they can auto select common synonyms used with a certain word. The lower weight words will not be displayed so shop could never be a synonym of car unless it had a very high weight, and chances are nobody is going to do that. Does the above sound right? Can you offer any suggestions or improvements?

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• How to configure Linux to act as a Bluetooth RFCOMM SPP server?

  - by regulatre

  I'm writing a phone app for Android that connects to a bluetooth RFCOMM device in my car. My phone app talks AT commands with it. For development work, I often need to communicate with the device to try different commands and things. My neighbors are starting to think I'm weird because I sit in my car for hours on end with my laptop screen shining on my face, typing away like a script kiddie. I'd much rather configure one of my many Linux servers to act as a bluetooth RFCOMM device and allow me to connect to it (indoors, while I sit on my couch). I imagine I have to start with something like sdptool add SP But then what? I'm perfectly happy writing a perl app to handle the I/O, but I just don't know how to make the bluez stack accept connections and subsequently pipe that stream to a perl app.

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• org-sort multi: date/time (?d ?t) | priority (?p) | title (?a)

  - by lawlist

  Is anyone aware of an org-sort function / modification that can refile / organize a group of TODO so that it sorts them by three (3) criteria: first sort by due date, second sort by priority, and third sort by by title of the task? EDIT: I believe that org-sort by deadline (?d) has a bug that cannot properly handle undated tasks. I am working on a workaround (i.e., moving the undated todo to a different heading before the deadline (?d) sort occurs), but perhaps the best thing to do would be to try and fix the original sorting function. Development of the workaround can be found in this thread (i.e., moving the undated tasks to a different heading in one fell swoop): How to automate org-refile for multiple todo EDIT: Apparently, the following code (ancient history) that I found on the internet was eventually modified and included as a part of org-sort-entries. Unfortunately, undated todo are not properly sorted when sorting by deadline -- i.e., they are mixed in with the dated todo. ;; multiple sort (defun org-sort-multi (&rest sort-types) "Multiple sorts on a certain level of an outline tree, or plain list items. SORT-TYPES is a list where each entry is either a character or a cons pair (BOOL . CHAR), where BOOL is whether or not to sort case-sensitively, and CHAR is one of the characters defined in `org-sort-entries-or-items'. Entries are applied in back to front order. Example: To sort first by TODO status, then by priority, then by date, then alphabetically (case-sensitive) use the following call: (org-sort-multi '(?d ?p ?t (t . ?a)))" (interactive) (dolist (x (nreverse sort-types)) (when (char-valid-p x) (setq x (cons nil x))) (condition-case nil (org-sort-entries (car x) (cdr x)) (error nil)))) ;; sort current level (defun lawlist-sort (&rest sort-types) "Sort the current org level. SORT-TYPES is a list where each entry is either a character or a cons pair (BOOL . CHAR), where BOOL is whether or not to sort case-sensitively, and CHAR is one of the characters defined in `org-sort-entries-or-items'. Entries are applied in back to front order. Defaults to \"?o ?p\" which is sorted by TODO status, then by priority" (interactive) (when (equal mode-name "Org") (let ((sort-types (or sort-types (if (or (org-entry-get nil "TODO") (org-entry-get nil "PRIORITY")) '(?d ?t ?p) ;; date, time, priority '((nil . ?a)))))) (save-excursion (outline-up-heading 1) (let ((start (point)) end) (while (and (not (bobp)) (not (eobp)) (<= (point) start)) (condition-case nil (outline-forward-same-level 1) (error (outline-up-heading 1)))) (unless (> (point) start) (goto-char (point-max))) (setq end (point)) (goto-char start) (apply 'org-sort-multi sort-types) (goto-char end) (when (eobp) (forward-line -1)) (when (looking-at "^\\s-*$") ;; (delete-line) ) (goto-char start) ;; (dotimes (x ) (org-cycle)) ))))) EDIT: Here is a more modern version of multi-sort, which is likely based upon further development of the above-code: (defun org-sort-all () (interactive) (save-excursion (goto-char (point-min)) (while (re-search-forward "^\* " nil t) (goto-char (match-beginning 0)) (condition-case err (progn (org-sort-entries t ?a) (org-sort-entries t ?p) (org-sort-entries t ?o) (forward-line)) (error nil))) (goto-char (point-min)) (while (re-search-forward "\* PROJECT " nil t) (goto-char (line-beginning-position)) (ignore-errors (org-sort-entries t ?a) (org-sort-entries t ?p) (org-sort-entries t ?o)) (forward-line)))) EDIT: The best option will be to fix sorting of deadlines (?d) so that undated todo are moved to the bottom of the outline, instead of mixed in with the dated todo. Here is an excerpt from the current org.el included within Emacs Trunk (as of July 1, 2013): (defun org-sort (with-case) "Call `org-sort-entries', `org-table-sort-lines' or `org-sort-list'. Optional argument WITH-CASE means sort case-sensitively." (interactive "P") (cond ((org-at-table-p) (org-call-with-arg 'org-table-sort-lines with-case)) ((org-at-item-p) (org-call-with-arg 'org-sort-list with-case)) (t (org-call-with-arg 'org-sort-entries with-case)))) (defun org-sort-remove-invisible (s) (remove-text-properties 0 (length s) org-rm-props s) (while (string-match org-bracket-link-regexp s) (setq s (replace-match (if (match-end 2) (match-string 3 s) (match-string 1 s)) t t s))) s) (defvar org-priority-regexp) ; defined later in the file (defvar org-after-sorting-entries-or-items-hook nil "Hook that is run after a bunch of entries or items have been sorted. When children are sorted, the cursor is in the parent line when this hook gets called. When a region or a plain list is sorted, the cursor will be in the first entry of the sorted region/list.") (defun org-sort-entries (&optional with-case sorting-type getkey-func compare-func property) "Sort entries on a certain level of an outline tree. If there is an active region, the entries in the region are sorted. Else, if the cursor is before the first entry, sort the top-level items. Else, the children of the entry at point are sorted. Sorting can be alphabetically, numerically, by date/time as given by a time stamp, by a property or by priority. The command prompts for the sorting type unless it has been given to the function through the SORTING-TYPE argument, which needs to be a character, \(?n ?N ?a ?A ?t ?T ?s ?S ?d ?D ?p ?P ?o ?O ?r ?R ?f ?F). Here is the precise meaning of each character: n Numerically, by converting the beginning of the entry/item to a number. a Alphabetically, ignoring the TODO keyword and the priority, if any. o By order of TODO keywords. t By date/time, either the first active time stamp in the entry, or, if none exist, by the first inactive one. s By the scheduled date/time. d By deadline date/time. c By creation time, which is assumed to be the first inactive time stamp at the beginning of a line. p By priority according to the cookie. r By the value of a property. Capital letters will reverse the sort order. If the SORTING-TYPE is ?f or ?F, then GETKEY-FUNC specifies a function to be called with point at the beginning of the record. It must return either a string or a number that should serve as the sorting key for that record. Comparing entries ignores case by default. However, with an optional argument WITH-CASE, the sorting considers case as well." (interactive "P") (let ((case-func (if with-case 'identity 'downcase)) (cmstr ;; The clock marker is lost when using `sort-subr', let's ;; store the clocking string. (when (equal (marker-buffer org-clock-marker) (current-buffer)) (save-excursion (goto-char org-clock-marker) (looking-back "^.*") (match-string-no-properties 0)))) start beg end stars re re2 txt what tmp) ;; Find beginning and end of region to sort (cond ((org-region-active-p) ;; we will sort the region (setq end (region-end) what "region") (goto-char (region-beginning)) (if (not (org-at-heading-p)) (outline-next-heading)) (setq start (point))) ((or (org-at-heading-p) (condition-case nil (progn (org-back-to-heading) t) (error nil))) ;; we will sort the children of the current headline (org-back-to-heading) (setq start (point) end (progn (org-end-of-subtree t t) (or (bolp) (insert "\n")) (org-back-over-empty-lines) (point)) what "children") (goto-char start) (show-subtree) (outline-next-heading)) (t ;; we will sort the top-level entries in this file (goto-char (point-min)) (or (org-at-heading-p) (outline-next-heading)) (setq start (point)) (goto-char (point-max)) (beginning-of-line 1) (when (looking-at ".*?\\S-") ;; File ends in a non-white line (end-of-line 1) (insert "\n")) (setq end (point-max)) (setq what "top-level") (goto-char start) (show-all))) (setq beg (point)) (if (>= beg end) (error "Nothing to sort")) (looking-at "\\(\\*+\\)") (setq stars (match-string 1) re (concat "^" (regexp-quote stars) " +") re2 (concat "^" (regexp-quote (substring stars 0 -1)) "[ \t\n]") txt (buffer-substring beg end)) (if (not (equal (substring txt -1) "\n")) (setq txt (concat txt "\n"))) (if (and (not (equal stars "*")) (string-match re2 txt)) (error "Region to sort contains a level above the first entry")) (unless sorting-type (message "Sort %s: [a]lpha [n]umeric [p]riority p[r]operty todo[o]rder [f]unc [t]ime [s]cheduled [d]eadline [c]reated A/N/P/R/O/F/T/S/D/C means reversed:" what) (setq sorting-type (read-char-exclusive)) (and (= (downcase sorting-type) ?f) (setq getkey-func (org-icompleting-read "Sort using function: " obarray 'fboundp t nil nil)) (setq getkey-func (intern getkey-func))) (and (= (downcase sorting-type) ?r) (setq property (org-icompleting-read "Property: " (mapcar 'list (org-buffer-property-keys t)) nil t)))) (message "Sorting entries...") (save-restriction (narrow-to-region start end) (let ((dcst (downcase sorting-type)) (case-fold-search nil) (now (current-time))) (sort-subr (/= dcst sorting-type) ;; This function moves to the beginning character of the "record" to ;; be sorted. (lambda nil (if (re-search-forward re nil t) (goto-char (match-beginning 0)) (goto-char (point-max)))) ;; This function moves to the last character of the "record" being ;; sorted. (lambda nil (save-match-data (condition-case nil (outline-forward-same-level 1) (error (goto-char (point-max)))))) ;; This function returns the value that gets sorted against. (lambda nil (cond ((= dcst ?n) (if (looking-at org-complex-heading-regexp) (string-to-number (match-string 4)) nil)) ((= dcst ?a) (if (looking-at org-complex-heading-regexp) (funcall case-func (match-string 4)) nil)) ((= dcst ?t) (let ((end (save-excursion (outline-next-heading) (point)))) (if (or (re-search-forward org-ts-regexp end t) (re-search-forward org-ts-regexp-both end t)) (org-time-string-to-seconds (match-string 0)) (org-float-time now)))) ((= dcst ?c) (let ((end (save-excursion (outline-next-heading) (point)))) (if (re-search-forward (concat "^[ \t]*\\[" org-ts-regexp1 "\\]") end t) (org-time-string-to-seconds (match-string 0)) (org-float-time now)))) ((= dcst ?s) (let ((end (save-excursion (outline-next-heading) (point)))) (if (re-search-forward org-scheduled-time-regexp end t) (org-time-string-to-seconds (match-string 1)) (org-float-time now)))) ((= dcst ?d) (let ((end (save-excursion (outline-next-heading) (point)))) (if (re-search-forward org-deadline-time-regexp end t) (org-time-string-to-seconds (match-string 1)) (org-float-time now)))) ((= dcst ?p) (if (re-search-forward org-priority-regexp (point-at-eol) t) (string-to-char (match-string 2)) org-default-priority)) ((= dcst ?r) (or (org-entry-get nil property) "")) ((= dcst ?o) (if (looking-at org-complex-heading-regexp) (- 9999 (length (member (match-string 2) org-todo-keywords-1))))) ((= dcst ?f) (if getkey-func (progn (setq tmp (funcall getkey-func)) (if (stringp tmp) (setq tmp (funcall case-func tmp))) tmp) (error "Invalid key function `%s'" getkey-func))) (t (error "Invalid sorting type `%c'" sorting-type)))) nil (cond ((= dcst ?a) 'string<) ((= dcst ?f) compare-func) ((member dcst '(?p ?t ?s ?d ?c)) '<))))) (run-hooks 'org-after-sorting-entries-or-items-hook) ;; Reset the clock marker if needed (when cmstr (save-excursion (goto-char start) (search-forward cmstr nil t) (move-marker org-clock-marker (point)))) (message "Sorting entries...done"))) (defun org-do-sort (table what &optional with-case sorting-type) "Sort TABLE of WHAT according to SORTING-TYPE. The user will be prompted for the SORTING-TYPE if the call to this function does not specify it. WHAT is only for the prompt, to indicate what is being sorted. The sorting key will be extracted from the car of the elements of the table. If WITH-CASE is non-nil, the sorting will be case-sensitive." (unless sorting-type (message "Sort %s: [a]lphabetic, [n]umeric, [t]ime. A/N/T means reversed:" what) (setq sorting-type (read-char-exclusive))) (let ((dcst (downcase sorting-type)) extractfun comparefun) ;; Define the appropriate functions (cond ((= dcst ?n) (setq extractfun 'string-to-number comparefun (if (= dcst sorting-type) '< '>))) ((= dcst ?a) (setq extractfun (if with-case (lambda(x) (org-sort-remove-invisible x)) (lambda(x) (downcase (org-sort-remove-invisible x)))) comparefun (if (= dcst sorting-type) 'string< (lambda (a b) (and (not (string< a b)) (not (string= a b))))))) ((= dcst ?t) (setq extractfun (lambda (x) (if (or (string-match org-ts-regexp x) (string-match org-ts-regexp-both x)) (org-float-time (org-time-string-to-time (match-string 0 x))) 0)) comparefun (if (= dcst sorting-type) '< '>))) (t (error "Invalid sorting type `%c'" sorting-type))) (sort (mapcar (lambda (x) (cons (funcall extractfun (car x)) (cdr x))) table) (lambda (a b) (funcall comparefun (car a) (car b))))))

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• How do I extract excel data from multiple worksheets and put into one sheet?

  - by user167210

  In a workbook I have 7 sheets(Totals and then Mon to Sat),I want to extract rows which have the word "CHEQ" in its cell (this is a dropdown list with two options-CHEQ/PAID)from all sheets. On my front sheet I used this formula: =IF(ROWS(A$13:A13)>$C$10,"",INDEX(Monday!A$3:A$62,SMALL(IF(Monday[Paid]=$A$10,ROW(Monday[Paid])-ROW(Monday!$I$3)+1),ROWS(A$13:A13)))) This formula works fine for one worksheet (eg. Monday) but is it possible to show the extracted rows from all 6 sheets on the front page? I only have Excel NOT Access. These are the 12 headers on row A12 Col Name Cod House Car Date Discount 2nd Paid Extra Letter Posted The exported data appears like this (this just an example): Col Name Cod House Car Date Discount 2nd Paid Extra Letter Posted 12 Robbs 1244 Ren 11/10 10% 5 CHEQ 0 0 No 15 Jones 7784 Ren 12/10 15% 1 CHEQ 0 0 No 18 Doese 1184 Ren 12/11 12% 1 CHEQ 0 0 No Any ideas on what to do to this formula? I am using Excel 2010.

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• Is an Adnroid-based Phone a Suitable MP3 Player for Music Streamed over the Internet?

  - by James McFarland

  I am considering getting an HTC phone running Android from Verizon Wireless when I next upgrade my phone. I also have an online account with a music vendor, where I have rights to listen to my collection, but not download the MP3s. Further, I have an unlimited data plan and Wi-Fi, so I have full access to bandwidth volume without any concerns. I am especially interested in mounting my phone in a car kit, and streaming my online music to my car's sound system while driving. If you are experienced in this scenario, or have tried this scenario - Is is reasonable to expect my HTC Android phone to provide me with streaming music via my cell data plan anywhere I get cell service?

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• How to configure Linux to act as a Bluetooth RFCOMM SPP server?

  - by regulatre

  I'm writing a phone app for Android that connects to a bluetooth RFCOMM device in my car. My phone app talks AT commands with it. For development work, I often need to communicate with the device to try different commands and things. My neighbors are starting to think I'm weird because I sit in my car for hours on end with my laptop screen shining on my face, typing away like a script kiddie. I'd much rather configure one of my many Linux servers to act as a bluetooth RFCOMM device and allow me to connect to it (indoors, while I sit on my couch). I imagine I have to start with something like sdptool add SP But then what? I'm perfectly happy writing a perl app to handle the I/O, but I just don't know how to make the bluez stack accept connections and subsequently pipe that stream to a perl app.

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• Is Inheritance in Struts2 Model-Driven Action possible?

  - by mryan

  Hello, I have a Model-Driven Struts2 action that provides correct JSON response. When I re-structure the action I get an empty JSON response back. Has anyone got inheritance working with Struts2 Model-Driven actions? Ive tried explicitly setting include properties in struts config: <result name="json" type="json"> <param name="includeProperties"> jsonResponse </param> </result> Code for all actions below - not actual code in use - I have edited and stripped down for clarity. Thanks in advance. Action providing correct response: public class Bike extends ActionSupport implements ModelDriven, Preparable { @Autowired private Service bikeService; private JsonResponse jsonResponse; private com.ets.model.Vehicle bike; private int id; public Bike() { jsonResponse = new JsonResponse("Bike"); } @Override public void prepare() throws Exception { if (id == 0) { bike = new com.ets.model.Bike(); } else { bike = bikeService.find(id); } } @Override public Object getModel() { return bike; } public void setId(int id) { this.id = id; } public void setBikeService(@Qualifier("bikeService") Service bikeService) { this.bikeService = bikeService; } public JsonResponse getJsonResponse() { return jsonResponse; } public String delete() { try { bike.setDeleted(new Date(System.currentTimeMillis())); bikeService.updateOrSave(bike); jsonResponse.addActionedId(id); jsonResponse.setAction("delete"); jsonResponse.setValid(true); } catch (Exception exception) { jsonResponse.setMessage(exception.toString()); } return "json"; } } Re-structured Actions providing incorrect response: public abstract class Vehicle extends ActionSupport implements ModelDriven { @Autowired protected Service bikeService; @Autowired protected Service carService; protected JsonResponse jsonResponse; protected com.ets.model.Vehicle vehicle; protected int id; protected abstract Service service(); @Override public Object getModel() { return bike; } public void setId(int id) { this.id = id; } public void setBikeService(@Qualifier("bikeService") Service bikeService) { this.bikeService = bikeService; } public void setCarService(@Qualifier("carService") Service carService) { this.carService = carService; } public JsonResponse getJsonResponse() { return jsonResponse; } public String delete() { try { vehicle.setDeleted(new Date(System.currentTimeMillis())); service().updateOrSave(vehicle); jsonResponse.addActionedId(id); jsonResponse.setAction("delete"); jsonResponse.setValid(true); } catch (Exception exception) { jsonResponse.setMessage(exception.toString()); } return "json"; } } public class Bike extends Vehicle implements Preparable { public Bike() { jsonResponse = new JsonResponse("Bike"); } @Override public void prepare() throws Exception { if (id == 0) { vehicle = new com.ets.model.Bike(); } else { vehicle = bikeService.find(id); } } @Override protected Service service() { return bikeService; } } public class Car extends Vehicle implements Preparable { public Car() { jsonResponse = new JsonResponse("Car"); } @Override public void prepare() throws Exception { if (id == 0) { vehicle = new com.ets.model.Car(); } else { vehicle = carService.find(id); } } @Override protected Service service() { return carService; } }

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• Exception thrown while accessing HTML DataTable in backing bean

  - by Denzil

  Hi folks, I am building a simple application in JSF with the CrUD functionality. I am trying to implement edit functionality using the tomahawk component .I am unable to retrieve the selected row in my backing bean. Here's my JSP file snip: <t:dataTable id="data" binding="#{selectOneRowList.dataTable}" styleClass="scrollerTable" headerClass="standardTable_Header" footerClass="standardTable_Header" rowClasses="standardTable_Row1,standardTable_Row2" columnClasses="standardTable_Column,standardTable_ColumnCentered,standardTable_Column" var="car" value="#{selectOneRowList.list}" sortColumn="#{selectOneRowList.sortColumn}" sortAscending="#{selectOneRowList.sortAscending}" preserveDataModel="false" preserveSort="true" preserveRowStates="true" rows="10" > <h:column> <f:facet name="header"> <h:outputText value="Select"/> </f:facet> <t:selectOneRow groupName="selection" id="hugo" value="#{selectOneRowList.selectedRowIndex}" onchange="submit();" immediate="true" valueChangeListener="#{selectOneRowList.processRowSelection}"/> </h:column> <h:column> <f:facet name="header"> </f:facet> <h:outputText value="#{car.id}" /> </h:column> <h:column> <f:facet name="header"> <h:outputText value="Cars" /> </f:facet> <h:outputText value="#{car.type}" /> </h:column> <t:column sortable="true"> <f:facet name="header"> <h:outputText value="Color" /> </f:facet> <h:outputText value="#{car.color}" /> </t:column> </t:dataTable> Here's my backing bean SelectOneRowList.java : public void editCar(ActionEvent event) { System.out.println("Row number ## " + _selectedRowIndex.toString() + " selected!"); System.out.println("Datatable ::"+ dataTable); System.out.println("Row Count ::" + dataTable.getRowCount()); dataItem = (SimpleCar) getDataTable().getRowData(); //selectedCar = (SimpleCar) _list.get(Integer.parseInt(_selectedRowIndex.toString())); selectedCar = (SimpleCar) dataTable.getRowData(); System.out.println(dataTable.getRowData()); } My DTO{Data Transfer Object} which is SimpleCar.java contains the variables ID, type, color and their respective setters/getters. The dataItem variable is of type "SimpleCar". The dataTable is of type HTMLDataTable. I am able to get the the first 3 SOP's but the 4th SOP isn't printed. I receive the following exception on the server : javax.faces.el.EvaluationException: Exception while invoking expression #{selectOneRowList.editCar} org.apache.myfaces.el.MethodBindingImpl.invoke(MethodBindingImpl.java:156) javax.faces.component.UICommand.broadcast(UICommand.java:89) javax.faces.component.UIViewRoot._broadcastForPhase(UIViewRoot.java:97) javax.faces.component.UIViewRoot.processApplication(UIViewRoot.java:171) org.apache.myfaces.lifecycle.InvokeApplicationExecutor.execute(InvokeApplicationExecutor.java:32) org.apache.myfaces.lifecycle.LifecycleImpl.executePhase(LifecycleImpl.java:95) org.apache.myfaces.lifecycle.LifecycleImpl.execute(LifecycleImpl.java:70) javax.faces.webapp.FacesServlet.service(FacesServlet.java:139) org.apache.myfaces.webapp.filter.ExtensionsFilter.doFilter(ExtensionsFilter.java:341) On click of the edit button the editCar method in my backing bean is invoked. I need to get the data of the selected row in my backing bean. Why is the exception occurring ? The above example is taken from the tomawhawk examples WAR distributed on the website. I have gone through many links including the ones on BalusC but none of them have helped. Regards,

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• Breadcrumbs RDFA

  - by Saahil Sinha

  Have implemented Breadcrumb RDFA http://www.mycarhelpline.com/index.php?option=com_forms&view=pages&layout=sellcar&Itemid=4 While checking the page , the RDFA Data shows property: title: Home https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/richsnippets?q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mycarhelpline.com%2Findex.php%3Foption%3Dcom_forms%26view%3Dpages%26layout%3Dsellcar%26Itemid%3D4 However, when i compare ours with others http://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/richsnippets?q=http%3A%2F%2Froyalenfield.com%2Fmotorcycles%2Fthunderbird-500%2F The Title and Description of the current page is shown in every RDFA Data, which is not shown in ours If someone could suggest - how to get the page title and description show up in RDFA Data, below is our breadcrumb code <p><span class="breadcrumbs pathway"> <span typeof="v:Breadcrumb"> <a href="" rel="v:url" property="v:title">Home</a> &raquo; <span rel="v:child"> <span typeof="v:Breadcrumb"> <a href="index.php?option=com_forms&view=pages&layout=selloldcarindelhi&Itemid=4" rel="v:url" property="v:title">Sell Car</a> &raquo; <span rel="v:child"> <span typeof="v:Breadcrumb"> <a property="v:title" >Sell Used Car</a> </span> </span> </span> </span> </span>

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• Move model forward base on model orientation

  - by ChocoMan

  My model rotates on it's own Y-axis regardless of where it is in the world. Here are the controls for the left ThumbStick: UP (move model forward on Z-Axis) DOWN (move model backward on Z-Axis) LEFT & RIGHT (strafe to either side) The problem is adjusting the direction the model's orientation UP and DOWN if the player should also rotate the player while moving forward or backwards. An example what Im trying to achieve would be a car doing donuts. The car is always facing the current direction that it interprets as forward (or rear as backwards) in relation to it's local rotation. Here is how Im calling the movement: // Rotate model with Right Thumbstick along X-Axis modelRotation -= pController.ThumbSticks.Right.X * mRotSpeed; // Move Forward if (pController.IsButtonDown(Buttons.LeftThumbstickUp)) { modelPosition.Z -= -pController.ThumbSticks.Left.Y * speed; } // Move Backward if (pController.IsButtonDown(Buttons.LeftThumbstickDown)) { modelPosition.Z += pController.ThumbSticks.Left.Y * speed; } // Strafe Left if (pController.IsButtonDown(Buttons.LeftThumbstickLeft)) { modelPosition.X += -pController.ThumbSticks.Left.X * speed; } // Strafe Right if (pController.IsButtonDown(Buttons.LeftThumbstickRight)) { modelPosition.X -= pController.ThumbSticks.Left.X * speed; } // DeadZone if (!pController.IsButtonDown(Buttons.LeftThumbstickUp) && !pController.IsButtonDown(Buttons.LeftThumbstickDown) && !pController.IsButtonDown(Buttons.LeftThumbstickLeft) && !pController.IsButtonDown(Buttons.LeftThumbstickRight)) { }

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• Exadata X3 In-Memory Database Machine: To be or not to be

  - by Luis Moreno Campos

  Since Larry Ellison announced Oracle Exadata X3 as the new generation of the Database Machine, he established the product in the In-Memory Database arena. And that annoyed some people. We all know that In-Memory Databases are the ones that *only* execute in memory and use the other layers of storage for persistency (mainly disk). Oracle database has always been a technology that uses memory as a caching mechanism and that hasn't change nor it will change with Oracle Database 12c. So this is the central point of fuss when it comes to announcing an Engineered Systems as In-Memory Database, when in fact it still runs Oracle Database, not vanilla but still the same product. Let me tell you purist people out there: when you find no new ground breaking point to get all excited about you decide to bash it, and go against its claims. It's not like a car manufacturer that launches a mini-van in the market and calls it a Sports Car, we are talking about a fundamental change in the ILM stack: level 2 of caching is now self sufficient. It's not DRAM? Who cares, still let's you put in flash amounts of data not done up until now, so I guess Oracle can name it whatever Larry wants because in the end it's something never done before. Now let's imagine that you hop on the pure In-Memory Database bandwagon. You would be stuck with a database technology that lags behind the Oracle Database hundreds of light years in man/hours innovations and features. Do you really want to travel back in time? Remember, the first rule about time travelling is that "Security is not Guaranteed". Your choice. LMC

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• Preferred way for dealing with customer-defined data in enterprise application

  - by Axarydax

  Let's say that we have a small enterprise web (intranet) application for managing data for car dealers. It has screens for managing customers, inventory, orders, warranties and workshops. This application is installed at 10 customer sites for different car dealers. First version of this application was created without any way to provide for customer-specific data. For example, if dealer A wanted to be able to attach a photo to a customer, dealer B wanted to add e-mail contact to each workshop, and dealer C wanted to attach multiple PDF reports to a warranty, each and every feature like this was added to the application, so all of the customers received everything on new update. However, this will inevitably lead to conflicts as the number of customers grow as their usage patterns are unique, and if, for instance, a specific dealer requested to have an ability to attach (for some reason) a color of inventory item (and be able to search by this color) as a required item, others really wouldn't need this feature, and definitely will not want it to be a required item. Or, one dealer would like to manage e-mail contacts for their employees on a separate screen of the application. I imagine that a solution for this is to use a kind of plugin system, where we would have a core of the application that provides for standard features like customers, inventory, etc, and all of the customer's installed plugins. There would be different kinds of plugins - standalone screens like e-mail contacts for employees, with their own logic, and customer plugin which would extend or decorate inventory items (like photo or color). Inventory (customer,order,...) plugins would require to have installation procedure, hooks for plugging into the item editor, item displayer, item filtering for searching, backup hook and such. Is this the right way to solve this problem?

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• Backpacks and Booth Paint: TechEd 2012

  - by The Un-T Guy

  Arriving in the parking lot of the Orange County Convention Center, I immediately knew I was in the right place. As far as the eye could see, the acres of asphalt were awash in backpacks, quirky (to be kind) outfits, and bad haircuts. This was the place. This was Microsoft Mecca v2012 for geeks and nerds, the Central Florida event of the year, a gathering of high tech professionals whose skills I both greatly respect and, frankly, fear a little. I was wholly and completely out of element, a dork in a vast sea of geek jumbo. It like was wearing dockers and a golf shirt walking into a RenFaire, but one with really crappy costumes and no turkey legs...save those attached to some of the attendees. Of course the corporate whores...errrr, vendors were in place, ready to parlay the convention's fre-nerd-ic energy into millions of dollars by convincing the big-brained and under-sexed in the crowd (i.e., virtually all of them...present company excluded, of course) that their product or service was the only thing standing between them and professional success, industry fame, and clear skin. "With KramTech 2012," they seemed to scream, "you will be THE ROCK STAR of your company's IT department!" As car shows and tattoo parlors learned long ago, Tech companies seem to believe that the best way to attract the attention of this crowd is through the hint of the promise of sex. They recruit and deploy an army of "sales reps" whose primary qualifications appear to be long hair, short skirts, high heels, and a vagina. Unlike their distant cousins in the car and body art industries, however, this sub-species of booth paint (semi-gloss decoration that adds nothing to the substance of the product) seems torn between committing to being all-out sex objects and recognition that they are in the presence of intelligent, discerning people. People who are smart enough to know exactly what these vendors are doing. Also unlike their distant car show and tattoo shop cousins, these young women (what…are there no gay tech professionals who could use some eye candy?) seem to realize that while IT remains a male-dominated field, there are ever-increasing numbers of intelligent, capable, strong professional women – women who’ve battled to make it in this field through hard work and work performance rather than a hard body and performing after work. This is not to say that all of the young female sales reps are there only because of their physical attributes. Many are competent, intelligent, and driven -- not to mention attractive. They're working hard on the front lines of delivering the next generation of technology. The distinction is pretty clear, however, between these young professionals and the booth paint. The former enthusiastically deliver credible information about the products they’re hawking. The latter are positioned in the aisles, uncomfortably avoiding eye contact as they struggle to operate the badge readers. Surprisingly, not all of the women in attendance seemed to object to the objectification of their younger sisters. One IT professional woman who came of age in the industry (mostly in IT marketing) said, “I have no problem with it. I was a ‘booth babe’ for years and it doesn’t bother me at all.” Others, however, weren’t quite so gracious. One woman I spoke with, an IT manager from Cheyenne, Wyoming, said it was demeaning and frankly, as more and more women grow into IT management positions, not a great marketing idea. “Using these young women is, to me, no different than vendors giving out t-shirts to attract attention. It’s sad because it’s still hard for a woman to be respected in the IT field and this just perpetuates the outdated notion that IT is a male-dominated field.” She went on to say that decisions by vendors to employ these young women in this “inappropriate way” could impact her purchasing decisions. “I might be swayed toward a vendor who has women on staff who are intelligent and dynamic rather than the vendors who use the ‘decoration’ girls.” So in many ways, the IT industry is no different than most other industries as it struggles to maximize performance by finding and developing talent – all of the talent, not just the 50% with a penis. Women in IT, like their brethren, struggle to find their niche in the field, to grow professionally, and reach for the brass ring, struggling to overcome obstacles as they climb the mountain of professional success in a never-ending cycle of economic uncertainty. But as (generally) well-educated and highly-trained professionals, they are probably better positioned than those in many other industries. Beside, they’ve got one other advantage over their non-IT counterparts as they attempt their ascent to the summit: They’ve already got the backpacks.

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• To Bit or Not To Bit

  - by Johnm

  'Twas a long day of troubleshooting and firefighting and now, with most of the office vacant, you face a blank scripting window to create a new table in his database. Many questions circle your mind like dirty water gurgling down the bathtub drain: "How normalized should this table be?", "Should I use an identity column?", "NVarchar or Varchar?", "Should this column be NULLABLE?", "I wonder what apple blue cheese bacon cheesecake tastes like?" Well, there are times when the mind goes it's own direction. A Bit About Bit At some point during your table creation efforts you will encounter the decision of whether to use the bit data type for a column. The bit data type is an integer data type that recognizes only the values of 1, 0 and NULL as valid. This data type is often utilized to store yes/no or true/false values. An example of its use would be a column called [IsGasoline] which would be intended to contain the value of 1 if the row's subject (a car) had a gasoline engine and a 0 if the subject did not have a gasoline engine. The bit data type can even be found in some of the system tables of SQL Server. For example, the sysssispackages table in the msdb database which contains SQL Server Integration Services Package information for the packages stored in SQL Server. This table contains a column called [IsEncrypted]. A value of 1 indicates that the package has been encrypted while the value of 0 indicates that it is not. I have learned that the most effective way to disperse the crowd that surrounds the office coffee machine is to engage into SQL Server debates. The bit data type has been one of the most reoccurring, as well as the most enjoyable, of these topics. It contains a practical side and a philosophical side. Practical Consideration This data type certainly has its place and is a valuable option for database design; but it is often used in situations where the answer is really not a pure true/false response. In addition, true/false values are not very informative or scalable. Let's use the previously noted [IsGasoline] column for illustration. While on the surface it appears to be a rather simple question when evaluating a car: "Does the car have a gasoline engine?" If the person entering data is entering a row for a Jeep Liberty, the response would be a 1 since it has a gasoline engine. If the person is entering data is entering a row for a Chevrolet Volt, the response would be a 0 since it is an electric engine. What happens when a person is entering a row for the gasoline/electric hybrid Toyota Prius? Would one person's conclusion be consistent with another person's conclusion? The argument could be made that the current intent for the database is to be used only for pure gasoline and pure electric engines; but this is where the scalability issue comes into play. With the use of a bit data type a database modification and data conversion would be required if the business decided to take on hybrid engines. Whereas, alternatively, if the int data type were used as a foreign key to a reference table containing the engine type options, the change to include the hybrid option would only require an entry into the reference table. Philosophical Consideration Since the bit data type is often used for true/false or yes/no data (also called Boolean) it presents a philosophical conundrum of what to do about the allowance of the NULL value. The inclusion of NULL in a true/false or yes/no response simply violates the logical principle of bivalence which states that "every proposition is either true or false". If NULL is not true, then it must be false. The mathematical laws of Boolean logic support this concept by stating that the only valid values of this scenario are 1 and 0. There is another way to look at this conundrum: NULL is also considered to be the absence of a response. In other words, it is the equivalent to "undecided". Anyone who watches the news can tell you that polls always include an "undecided" option. This could be considered a valid option in the world of yes/no/dunno. Through out all of these considerations I have discovered one absolute certainty: When you have found a person, or group of persons, who are willing to entertain a philosophical debate of the bit data type, you have found some true friends.

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• You Might Be a DBA

  - by BuckWoody

  With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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