sqlsaturday - Page 2 - Developer IT

SQL Saturday #89 in Atlanta!

- by Most Valuable Yak (Rob Volk)

(Yeah yeah, technically it's in Alpharetta, but it's close enough.) Saturday…Saturday….Saturday…. September 17th. TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN! OK, it's not a tractor pull, but it's even better: FREE SQL SERVER TRAINING! They have a bunch of great speakers lined up, and for some reason, me. (Protip: be good friends with the program committee, have sufficient bribe funds, and if all else fails, lots of alcohol, drugs and a camera. Ba-ZING! You too can speak at SQL Saturday!) I will be presenting Revenge: The SQL! in a new and improved SQL Saturday themed presentation. Actually, it's the same ol' presentation, I just updated the slide theme to match the new SQL Saturday website design. (Yeah guys, thanks for changing that a month ago. So much for coasting on the old format.) Of course, you have your choice of three other SQL Saturdays in other cities that day, but come on, you really want to go to this one. #sqlsat89 #sqlsaturday #sqlkilt #sqlpass

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SQL Saturday #220 Atlanta May 2013!

- by Most Valuable Yak (Rob Volk)

If you love SQL Server training and are near the Atlanta area, or just love us so much you're willing to travel here, please come join us for: SQL SATURDAY #220! The main event is Saturday, May 18. The event is free, with a $10.00 lunch fee. The main page has more details here: http://www.sqlsaturday.com/220/eventhome.aspx We are also offering pre-conference sessions on Friday, May 17, by 5 world-renowned presenters: Denny Cherry: SQL Server Security Register! Site Twitter Adam Machanic: Surfing the Multicore Wave: Processors, Parallelism, and Performance Register! Site Twitter Stacia Misner: Languages of BI Register! Site Twitter Bill Pearson: Practical Self-Service BI with PowerPivot for Excel Register! Site Twitter Eddie Wuerch: The DBA Skills Upgrade Toolkit Register! Site Twitter We have an early bird registration price of $119 until noon EST Friday, March 22. After that the price goes to $149, a STEAL when you compare it to the PASS Summit price. :) Please click on the links to register and for more information. You can also follow the hash tag #SQLSatATL on Twitter for more news about this event. Can't wait to see you all there!

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SQL Saturday 194 - Exeter

- by Dave Ballantyne

Many kudos goes to Jonathan and Annette Allen and the others on the team for confirming SQL Saturday 194 in Exeter on the 8th and 9th of March. The event home page is here http://www.sqlsaturday.com/194/eventhome.aspx and I delighted that myself and Dave Morrison will be presenting a full day pre-con on the 8th on favourite subjects “TSQL and Internals”. Here is the full abstract : TSQL and internals - When faced with performance issues there are many lines of attack. Tuning the engine itself can get you so far, however for maximum effect you need to understand how the engine and how it translates SQL statements into performable actions. This is not a simple task, it is a massive task to deal with a multi-table join and the number of permutations can be immense. To back up this knowledge, we can create better performing TSQL and understand the impact that is has upon the engine and recognize the pitfalls and gotcha’s that exist in SQLServer. Ultimately, there is no ‘best way’ to perform a single task only many variations of ‘it depends’ , but now we can pick the most appropriate option for the required dataload. Over the years, there have been many myths and misconceptions have grown around the product, some have basis in older versions and some are just wrong. Continuing to build on the knowledge given so far these issue will be explored and broken down and proved or disproved. Finally we will look to the future and explore SQL Server 2012 and the new functionality that that brings and some of the common uses that we will be able to address. After completion of this days pre-con, attendees will have a more complete knowledge of execution plans, and how they relate to the physical and logical actions that SQLServer will be executing on their behalf. The attendees will also have a more rounded and fuller knowledge of TSQL and the implications of incorrectly defining a query. Dave is a fountain of knowledge on execution plans and optimizer internals and ,though i may flatter myself, I’m no shrinking violet when it comes to TSQL and such matters. I hope that if you cant join us, then there are other pre-cons available from other experts in their fields that may ‘float you boat’ too. The pre-con page is http://sqlsouthwest.co.uk/SQLSaturday_precon.htm Also, excitingly, this pre-con day is sponsored by Fusion-IO which is a great boon for the day. If you want a more of this then i am offering a 2 day TSQL course starting on the 19th of March. More details on this are available here

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SQL Saturday 27 (Portland, Oregon)

- by BuckWoody

I’m sitting in the Seattle airport, waiting for my flight to Silicon Valley California for the SQL Server 2008 R2 Launch Event. By some quirk of nature, they are asking me to Emcee the event – but that’s another post entirely. I’m reflecting on the SQL Saturday 27 event that was just held in Portland, Oregon this last Saturday. These are not Microsoft-sponsored events – it’s truly the community at work. Think of a big user-group meeting – I mean REALLY big – held in a central location, like at a college (as ours was) or some larger, inexpensive venue like that. Everyone there is volunteering – it’s my own money and time to drive several hours to a hotel for the night, feed myself and present. It’s their own time and money for the folks that organize the event – unless a vendor or two steps in to help. It’s their own time and money for the attendees to drive a long way, spend the night and their Saturday to listen to the speakers. Why do all this? Because everybody benefits. Every speaker learns something new, meets new people, and reaches a new audience. Every volunteer does the same. And the attendees? Well, it’s pretty obvious what they get. A 7Am to 10PM extravaganza of knowledge from every corner of the product. In fact, this year the Portland group hooked up with the CodeCamp folks and held a combined event. We had over 850 people, and I had everyone from data professionals to developers in my sessions. So I’ll take this opportunity to do two things: to say “thank you” to all of the folks who attended, from those who spoke to those who worked and those who came to listen, and to challenge you to attend the next SQL Saturday anywhere near you. You can find the list here: http://www.sqlsaturday.com/. Don’t see anything in your area? Start one! The PASS folks have a package that will show you how. Sure, it’s a big job, but the key is to get as many people helping you as possible. Even if you have only a few dozen folks show up the first time, no worries. The first events I presented at had about 20 in the room. But not this week. See you at the Launch Event if you’re near the San Francisco area tomorrow, and see you at the Redmond SQL Saturday and TechEd if not. Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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SQL Saturday 27 (Portland, Oregon)

- by BuckWoody

I’m sitting in the Seattle airport, waiting for my flight to Silicon Valley California for the SQL Server 2008 R2 Launch Event. By some quirk of nature, they are asking me to Emcee the event – but that’s another post entirely. I’m reflecting on the SQL Saturday 27 event that was just held in Portland, Oregon this last Saturday. These are not Microsoft-sponsored events – it’s truly the community at work. Think of a big user-group meeting – I mean REALLY big – held in a central location, like at a college (as ours was) or some larger, inexpensive venue like that. Everyone there is volunteering – it’s my own money and time to drive several hours to a hotel for the night, feed myself and present. It’s their own time and money for the folks that organize the event – unless a vendor or two steps in to help. It’s their own time and money for the attendees to drive a long way, spend the night and their Saturday to listen to the speakers. Why do all this? Because everybody benefits. Every speaker learns something new, meets new people, and reaches a new audience. Every volunteer does the same. And the attendees? Well, it’s pretty obvious what they get. A 7Am to 10PM extravaganza of knowledge from every corner of the product. In fact, this year the Portland group hooked up with the CodeCamp folks and held a combined event. We had over 850 people, and I had everyone from data professionals to developers in my sessions. So I’ll take this opportunity to do two things: to say “thank you” to all of the folks who attended, from those who spoke to those who worked and those who came to listen, and to challenge you to attend the next SQL Saturday anywhere near you. You can find the list here: http://www.sqlsaturday.com/. Don’t see anything in your area? Start one! The PASS folks have a package that will show you how. Sure, it’s a big job, but the key is to get as many people helping you as possible. Even if you have only a few dozen folks show up the first time, no worries. The first events I presented at had about 20 in the room. But not this week. See you at the Launch Event if you’re near the San Francisco area tomorrow, and see you at the Redmond SQL Saturday and TechEd if not. Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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How to Answer a Stupid Interview Question the Right Way

- by AjarnMark

Have you ever been asked a stupid question during an interview; one that seemed to have no relation to the job responsibilities at all? Tech people are often caught off-guard by these apparently irrelevant questions, but there is a way you can turn these to your favor. Here is one idea. While chatting with a couple of folks between sessions at SQLSaturday 43 last weekend, one of them expressed frustration over a seemingly ridiculous and trivial question that she was asked during an interview, and she believes it cost her the job opportunity. The question, as I remember it being described was, “What is the largest byte measurement?”. The candidate made up a guess (“zetabyte”) during the interview, which is actually closer than she may have realized. According to Wikipedia, there is a measurement known as zettabyte which is 10^21, and the largest one listed there is yottabyte at 10^24. My first reaction to this question was, “That’s just a hiring manager that doesn’t really know what they’re looking for in a candidate. Furthermore, this tells me that this manager really does not understand how to build a team.” In most companies, team interaction is more important than uber-knowledge. I didn’t ask, but this could also be another geek on the team trying to establish their Alpha-Geek stature. I suppose that there are a few, very few, companies that can build their businesses on hiring only the extreme alpha-geeks, but that certainly does not represent the majority of businesses in America. My friend who was there suggested that the appropriate response to this silly question would be, “And how does this apply to the work I will be doing?” Of course this is an understandable response when you’re frustrated because you know you can handle the technical aspects of the job, and it seems like the interviewer is just being silly. But it is also a direct challenge, which may not be the best approach in interviewing. I do have to admit, though, that there are those folks who just won’t respect you until you do challenge them, but again, I don’t think that is the majority. So after some thought, here is my suggestion: “Well, I know that there are petabytes and exabytes and things even larger than that, but I haven’t been keeping up on my list of Greek prefixes that have not yet been used, so I would have to look up the exact answer if you need it. However, I have worked with databases as large as 30 Terabytes. How big are the largest databases here at X Corporation?” Perhaps with a follow-up of, “Typically, what I have seen in companies that have databases of your size, is that the three biggest challenges they face are: A, B, and C. What would you say are the top 3 concerns that you would like the person you hire to be able to address?…Here is how I have dealt with those concerns in the past (or ‘Here is how I would tackle those issues for you…’).” Wait! What just happened?! We took a seemingly irrelevant and frustrating question and turned it around into an opportunity to highlight our relevant skills and guide the conversation back in a direction more to our liking and benefit. In more generic terms, here is what we did: Admit that you don’t know the specific answer off the top of your head, but can get it if it’s truly important to the company. Maybe for some reason it really is important to them. Mention something similar or related that you do know, reassuring them that you do have some knowledge in that subject area. Draw a parallel to your past work experience. Ask follow-up questions about the company’s specific needs and discuss how you can fulfill those. This type of thing requires practice and some forethought. I didn’t come up with this answer until a day later, which is too late when you’re interviewing. I still think it is silly for an interviewer to ask something like that, but at least this is one way to spin it to your advantage while you consider whether you really want to work for someone who would ask a thing like that. Remember, interviewing is a two-way process. You’re deciding whether you want to work there just as much as they are deciding whether they want you. There is always the possibility that this was a calculated maneuver on the part of the hiring manager just to see how quickly you think on your feet and how you handle stupid questions. Maybe he knows something about the work environment and he’s trying to gauge whether you’ll actually fit in okay. And if that’s the case, then the above response still works quite well.

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24 Hours of PASS – first reflections

- by Rob Farley

A few days after the end of 24HOP, I find myself reflecting on it. I’m still waiting on most of the information. I want to be able to discover things like where the countries represented on each of the sessions, and things like that. So far, I have the feedback scores and the numbers of attendees. The data was provided in a PDF, so while I wait for it to appear in a more flexible format, I’ve pushed the 24 attendee numbers into Excel. This chart shows the numbers by time. Remember that we started at midnight GMT, which was 10:30am in my part of the world and 8pm in New York. It’s probably no surprise that numbers drooped a bit at the start, stayed comparatively low, and then grew as the larger populations of the English-speaking world woke up. I remember last time 24HOP ran for 24 hours straight, there were quite a few sessions with less than 100 attendees. None this time though. We got close, but even when it was 4am in New York, 8am in London and 7pm in Sydney (which would have to be the worst slot for attracting people), we still had over 100 people tuning in. As expected numbers grew as the UK woke up, and even more so as the US did, with numbers peaking at 755 for the “3pm in New York” session on SQL Server Data Tools. Kendra Little almost reached those numbers too, and certainly contributed the biggest ‘spike’ on the chart with her session five hours earlier. Of all the sessions, Kendra had the highest proportion of ‘Excellent’s for the “Overall Evaluation of the session” question, and those of you who saw her probably won’t be surprised by that. Kendra had one of the best ranked sessions from the 24HOP event this time last year (narrowly missing out on being top 3), and she has produced a lot of good video content since then. The reports indicate that there were nearly 8.5 thousand attendees across the 24 sessions, averaging over 350 at each one. I’m looking forward to seeing how many different people that was, although I do know that Wil Sisney managed to attend every single one (if you did too, please let me know). Wil even moderated one of the sessions, which made his feat even greater. Thanks Wil. I also want to send massive thanks to Dave Dustin. Dave probably would have attended all of the sessions, if it weren’t for a power outage that forced him to take a break. He was also a moderator, and it was during this session that he earned special praise. Part way into the session he was moderating, the speaker lost connectivity and couldn’t get back for about fifteen minutes. That’s an incredibly long time when you’re in a live presentation. There were over 200 people tuned in at the time, and I’m sure Dave was as stressed as I was to have a speaker disappear. I started chasing down a phone number for the speaker, while Dave spoke to the audience. And he did brilliantly. He started answering questions, and kept doing that until the speaker came back. Bear in mind that Dave hadn’t expected to give a presentation on that topic (or any other), and was simply drawing on his SQL expertise to get him through. Also consider that this was between midnight at 1am in Dave’s part of the world (Auckland, NZ). I would’ve been expecting just to welcome people, monitor questions, probably read some out, and in general, help make things run smoothly. He went far beyond the call of duty, and if I had a medal to give him, he’d definitely be getting one. On the whole, I think this 24HOP was a success. We tried a different platform, and I think for the most part it was a popular move. We didn’t ask the question “Was this better than LiveMeeting?”, but we did get a number of people telling us that they thought the platform was very good. Some people have told me I get a chance to put my feet up now that this is over. As I’m also co-ordinating a tour of SQLSaturday events across the Australia/New Zealand region, I don’t quite get to take that much of a break (plus, there’s the little thing of squeezing in seven SQL 2012 exams over the next 2.5 weeks). But I am pleased to be reflecting on this event rather than anticipating it. There were a number of factors that could have gone badly, but on the whole I’m pleased about how it went. A massive thanks to everyone involved. If you’re reading this and thinking you wish you could’ve tuned in more, don’t worry – they were all recorded and you’ll be able to watch them on demand very soon. But as well as that, PASS has a stream of content produced by the Virtual Chapters, so you can keep learning from the comfort of your desk all year round. More info on them at sqlpass.org, of course.

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PASS: SQLRally Thoughts

- by Bill Graziano

The PASS Board recently decided that we wouldn’t put another US-based SQLRally on the calendar until we had a chance to review the program. I wanted to provide some of my thinking around this. Keep in mind that this is the opinion of one Board member. The Board committed to complete two SQLRally events to determine if an event modeled between SQL Saturday and the Summit was viable. We’ve completed the two events and now it’s time to step back and review the program. This is my seventh year on the PASS Board. Over that time people have asked me why PASS does certain things. Many, many times my answer has been “Because that’s the way we did it last year”. And I am tired of giving that answer. We need to take a step back and review the US-based SQLRally before we schedule another one. It would be irresponsible for me as a Board member to commit resources to this without validating that what we’re doing makes sense for the organization and our members. I have no doubt that this was a great event for the attendees. We just need to validate it’s the best use of our resources. Please keep in mind that we haven’t cancelled the event. We’ve just said we need to review it before scheduling another one. My opinion is that some fairly serious changes are needed to the model before we consider it again – IF we do it again. I’ve come to that conclusion after speaking with the Dallas organizers, our HQ team, our Marketing team, other Board members (including one of the Orlando organizers), attendees in Orlando and Dallas and visiting other similar events. I should point out that their views aren’t unanimous on nearly any part of this event -- which is one of the reasons I want to take some time and think about this before continuing. I think it’s helpful to look at the original goals of what we were trying to accomplish. Andy Warren wrote these up in August of 2010. My summary of these goals and some thoughts on each one is below. Many of these thoughts revolve around the growth of SQL Saturdays. In the two years since that document was written these events have grown significantly. The largest SQL Saturdays are now over 500 people which mean they are nearly the same size as our recent SQLRally. Our goals included: Geographic diversity. We wanted an event in an area of the country that was away from any given Summit location. I think that’s still a valid goal. But we also have SQL Saturdays all over the country. What does SQLRally bring to this that SQLSaturday doesn’t? Speaker growth. One of the stated goals was to build a “farm club” for speakers. This gives us a way for speakers to work up to speaking at Summit by speaking in front of larger crowds. What does SQLRally bring to this that the larger SQL Saturdays aren’t providing? Pre-Conference speakers is one obvious answer here. Lower price. On a per-day basis, SQLRally is roughly 1/4th the price of the Summit. We wanted a way for people to experience something Summit-like at a lower price point. The challenge is that we are very budget constrained at that lower price point. International Event Model. (I need to write more about this but I’m out of time. I’ll cover it in the next installment.) There are a number of things I really like about SQLRally. I love the smaller conferences. They give me a chance to meet more people than at something the size of Summit. I like the two day format. That gives you two evenings to be at social events with people. Seeing someone a second day is a great way to build a bond with that person. That’s more difficult to do at a SQL Saturday. We also need to talk about the financial aspects of the event. Last year generated a small $17,000 profit on revenues of $200,000. Percentage-wise that’s reasonable but on an absolute basis it’s not a huge amount in our budget. We think this year will lose between $30,000 and $50,000 and take roughly 1,000 hours of HQ time. We don’t have detailed financials back yet but that’s our best guess at this point. Part of that was driven by using a convention center instead of a hotel. Until we get detailed financials back we won’t have the full picture around the financial impact. This event also takes time and mindshare from our Marketing team. This may sound like a small thing but please don’t underestimate it. Our original vision for this was something that would take very little time from our Marketing team and just a few mentions in the Connector. It turned out to need more than that. And all those mentions and emails take up space we could use to talk about other events and other programs. Last I wanted to talk about some of the things I’m thinking about. I don’t think it’s as simple as saying if we just fix “X” it all gets better. Is this that much better of an event than SQL Saturdays? What if we gave a few SQL Saturdays some extra resources? When SQL Saturdays were around 250 people that wasn’t as viable. With some of those events over 500 we need to reconsider this. We need to get back to a hotel venue. That will help with cost and networking. Is this the best use of the 1,000 HQ hours that we invested in the event? Is our price-point correct? I’m leaning toward raising our price closer to Summit on a per-day basis. I think this will let us put on a higher quality event and alleviate much of the budget pressure. Should growing speakers be a focus? Having top-line pre-conference speakers helps market the event. It will also have an impact on pricing and overall profit. We should also ask if it actually does grow speakers. How many of these people will eventually register for Summit? Attend chapters? Is SQLRally a driver into PASS or is it something that chapters, etc. drive people to? Should we have one paid day and one free instead of two paid days? This is a very interesting model that is used by SQLBits in the UK. This gives you the two day aspect as well as offering options for paid and free attendees. I’m very intrigued by this. Should we focus on a topic? Buried in the minutes is a discussion of whether PASS should have a Business Analytics conference separate from Summit. This is an interesting question to consider. Would making SQLRally be focused on a particular topic make it more attractive? Would that even be a SQLRally? Can PASS effectively manage the two events? (FYI - Probably not.) Would it help differentiate it from Summit and SQL Saturday? These are all questions that I think should be asked and answered before we do this event again. And we can’t do that if we don’t take time to have the discussion. I wanted to get this published before I take off for a few days of vacation. When I get back I’d like to write more about why the international events are different and talk about where we go from here.

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You Might Be a DBA

- by BuckWoody

With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today. buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!) databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O) DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room? jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA. jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator" markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends." markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster" MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA. mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible! Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671 onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs. ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :) SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice! SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food") sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice) sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind. sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43 SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait... thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;) TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets... venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow.. venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets... venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China." Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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