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  • Printing from a Linux using an Acer Aspire Netbook

    - by JoelFan
    A friend asked me to check why their Linux Acer Aspire netbook can't print to their HP printer. When I plugged in the USB cable, the a "balloon" popped up on the netbook saying it was installing the printer. But the printing does not work. I was able to get into a Settings area and click on Print Test Page but nothing happened. If it was Ubuntu, I would go into the Log File Viewer, but I couldn't find that on whatever Linux flavor the Acer is running. I couldn't even figure out how to get to a terminal (shell) window. I tried searching the HP and Acer sites but nothing seems to apply to this issue.

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  • Dismissing systray balloons with the keyboard?

    - by rangerchris
    This is probably a supplementary question to how to access the systray using the keyboard... I've read that, and done some googling (google fu lacking, or there really is no answer), but I can't find a nice quick keyboard shortcut to dismiss those info balloons that apps in the system tray choose to display every now and then. The hints for access in the linked question can't be used to close the balloon (and least when I've tried them here). Now I know I can wait for a timeout and they'll go away but if I can just hit , that'd be fanstastic. So... anyone aware of a keyboard shortcut?

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  • Windows XP unknown location popup annoyance

    - by mcgyver5
    I'm plagued by a popup from Windows XP when I use wireless. It says, "You are in an Unknown Location..." It always pops above whatever window I'm using, but does not take focus, so while it does not interrupt my typing, it gets in the way and I can't dismiss it with a keystroke. I'd like to find a way to disable this popup. I've searched in control panel -- Network Connections. I'm not referring to "balloon tips" that appear related to the wireless connection in a new location.

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  • Windows - Delayed Write Failed error on USB hard drive

    - by ndngrd
    I've got a new Verbatim 1.5TB USB hard drive (Samsung HD154UI) and I'm finding myself completely unable to fill it. I'm using Windows XP. Whenever I try to copy a load of files over, it works for some time (will copy over between 20 and 90GB) but eventually stops with an error saying "The specified path is too deep" - the specified is not too deep, there's nothing more than 2 dirs deep that I'm copying. A balloon pops up at the bottom saying "Windows - Delayed Write Failed" telling me the data could not be copied. This wouldn't be too bad if I could just restart the transfer, but after this error has happened I can't write anything else to the disk - including if I eject it and then connect it to another machine. It just seems completely locked. The only way I can unlock it is to delete everything that I was copying to it. I've tried various USB cables and copying from different machines, and the same thing keeps happening.

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  • netsh wlan add profile not imported passphrase

    - by sirlancelot
    I exported a wireless network connection profile from a Windows 7 machine correctly connected to a WiFi network with a WPA-TKIP passphrase. The exported xml file shows the correct settings and a keyMaterial node which I can only guess is the encrypted passphrase. When I take the xml to another Windows 7 computer and import it using netsh wlan add profile filename="WiFi.xml", it correctly adds the profile's SSID and encryption type, but a balloon pops up saying that I need to enter the passphrase. Is there a way to import the passphrase along with all other settings?

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  • nVidia Control Panel Won't Recognize SLI

    - by Nakaan
    So yesterday I bought a brand new, 1,000W PSU to replace my 650W one and to allow for SLI. I install it and my second card (both are GTX 560 ti cards). I reinstalled my drivers and my system recognizes both cards. The control panel says "GTX 560 ti x2", I can select between them for Physx, sound output, picture output (although I only have one hooked up to my monitor), etc. But the kicker is I can't turn on SLI. Everything I've read says I'll get a balloon notification saying I can use SLI and the control panel will have a new section, etc, but none of those things happens. Anyone have any ideas? System: Win7 Professional x64 2x GTX 560 ti 3.1 GHz Intel Core i5 1,000W Xion PSU 8GB RAM (Can't think of my motherboard right now) Note: My PSU and MOBO both say they're SLI certified and I'm using an SLI bridge. Edit: Formatting changes

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  • How can I disable Ctrl+Shift+Arrow from causing my screen to flip?

    - by nizzle
    Windows 7 Home Premium, Catalyst Control Center. Without any apparent reason, after booting my PC, I got this little balloon "HD 4600 Drivers updated". I did not install any new cards or drivers or anything. But now, when I try to select an entire word by pressing Ctrl + Shift + ? / ? my screen flips left to right and upside down. Where can I disable this annoying shortcut? OR Any other way of selecting the entire word? There is no option for this in Catalyst Control Center.

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  • How to test KVM guest CPU maximum allocation limit?

    - by Ace
    Running Ubuntu 13.04 Host and vm Guest. Using virtio for hdd, nic. Max-allocaion CPU cores is 6, minimum is 2. Ive made a vm with virt-manager just to play with, and to test out kvm. Alright, I have a decent understand how the memory balloon driver works, but I still dont know how to test if the guest OS can utilize the max setting for cpu cores. From what i gather, the host will start one thread of qemu for each core allocated per vm. When i run htop inside the guest, it only shows two cores. (also here is the output of cat /proc/cpuinfo: https://gist.github.com/anonymous/93a361545130923537da ) How can I "force" the guest to allocate the other 4 cores so that it can show 6 cores in htop? Is there a way to do this?

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  • Hide Drive / Avoid Low Diskspace Warning on ReadyBoost Cache?

    - by Simon Richter
    I've just added an SSD as a ReadyBoost cache drive, and have two minor cosmetic issues with it: the drive still shows up in the drive list I get a warning balloon every five minutes that the drive is full and that I should empty the Recycle Bin. The former is ignorable (and I guess I can solve it with a group policy); the latter is somewhat going on my nerves. Are there official buttons "hide ReadyBoost drives" and "do not warn on low diskspace for ReadyBoost drives" somewhere that I may have missed? If not, I guess I can use the group policy to hide the drive; I'd still need a way for the system to not warn about the drive being full. Also, am I right that I need to assign a drive letter and format the drive with NTFS to use it for ReadyBoost, or is there a way to just use the raw device?

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  • How to get notifications from Windows Update when optional updates are available?

    - by Tom
    On my Windows 7 I set windows update to "download updates, but let me choose whether to install them". The problem is I don't get a notification when an optional update is available like definition updates for microsoft security essentials. I have "give me recommended updates the same way I receive important updates" checked, but I have no notification balloon or icon when there is a new optional update is available. From time to time I open Windows update and then I see I have new optional updates available. How to get notifications for those too?

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  • Cross-Platform Mobile Development With Mono for Android and MonoTouch

    - by Wallym
    Many years ago, in fact pre-Java, I remember a hallway discussion about the desire to write a single application that could easily run across various platforms. At the time, we were only worried about writing applications on Windows 3.1 and Mac OS 7.x. There were many discussions about windows, user interface concepts, and specifically a rather long discussion as to whether Mac users would accept a Mac application that didn't have balloon help. Thankfully, the marketplace answered this question for us with the Windows API winning the battle.A similar set of questions is currently going on in the mobile world. Unfortunately, at this point in time, there is currently no winning API and none currently in sight. What's a developer to do? Here are some questions that developers have (and there are many more):How can mobile developers target Android and the iPhone with the same code?How can .NET developers share their code across Android, iPhone and other platforms?How can developers give applications the look and feel of the specific platform and still allow as much code as possible to be shared?Mobile devices share many common features, such as cameras, accelerometers, and address books. How can we take advantage of them in a platform independent way and still give the users the look of every other application running on their platform?In this article, we'll look at some solutions to these cross-platform and code-sharing questions between Mono for Android, MonoTouch and the .NET Framework available to developers. 

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  • Technology stack for CRUD apps [closed]

    - by Panoy
    In the past years, I have been using VB6 + MySQL when developing CRUD applications. Now I am currently learning how to develop web applications, as my plan is to go through the "browser/web app" path every time I build a CRUD app. I'm leaning on Ruby on Rails + MySQL/PostgreSQL/any NoSQL database now. I would like to know what other technology/tools stack to include in my architecture when developing these web apps? I'm asking your inputs with regards to the UI, database and reporting stack/toolset. Currently I have these in mind: UI = jQuery, jQueryUI (add your comments for other good UI stack) database = will be considering NoSQL or simply but RDBMS reporting tool = i'm clueless here Will it also make sense to use NoSQL database on these CRUD applications? I am assuming that the data would balloon later on. The desktop/native app route is an option only if there is a requirement, that in my limited experience, believes that a web app can't solve. Like for example those imaging apps/document forms and point-of-sale systems. I believe that web apps are gaining ground now and I find it most fun and intriguing to play and experiment with them. Please share your suggestions!

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  • localhost lookup fails, browser tries www.localhost.com instead

    - by Maen
    I used to run web applications all the time on my laptop, no problems, I am using VWD 2008 Express, i have the latest framework, Windows Vista Home Basic...etc.. Now, when ever i try to run a website, or even chose to Show a Page in Browser from Within VWD, the browser (both IE and Firefox) keeps looking for www.localhost.com... I tried to copy the address of and paste it directly in the title bar, nothing, same problem i tried to get that address from the balloon notification (the one that pops up when you run any ASP.net project), still nothing happens... My colleague is facing the same problem, but for him, he can simply copy and paste the url in the address bar, but its not working with me....Heeeeeellllllllllllllllp

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  • Can NotifyIcon.ShowBalloonTip in C# be customized?

    - by badpanda
    Purely out of GUI vanity, I would like to make my task bar tool tip less...well, less "I wear a suit and work at Microsoft"-y. I can't seem to find a setting to do this, but I know that this particular function is relatively new so if anyone knows of a way to change the balloon look and feel I would very much appreciate a link or suggestion! Below is my code: public static void shutdownWarning() { ToolTipIcon tipIcon = new ToolTipIcon(); tipIcon = ToolTipIcon.None; TaskBarIcon.getInstance().mNotifyIcon.ShowBalloonTip(100, "", "Sending. Please do not shut down.", tipIcon); } Cheers!! badPanda

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  • How to show validation messages in MVC?

    - by Ian Boyd
    When a user tries to click:        Save and they have entered in some invalid data, i want to notify them. This can be with methods such as: directing their attention to the thing that needs their attention with a balloon hint automatically dropping down a combo-box triggering an animation showing a modal dialog box etc What is the mechanism where a controller tells the view to show a validation message for some controls, given that different views have different notification methods? p.s. the controller doesn't know the order that controls are physically arranged in the view (e.g. LTR locale wants to notify the user in a top-down-left-to-right visual order, while RTL locale wants to notify the user in a bottom-up-right-to-left order)

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  • UITextView on iPad INCREDIBLY Slow

    - by Sj
    I have an NSMutableArray of custom views (that are pretty much 1 UITextView and 1 UILabel with a custom back ground image), these are created as they are need (I start with 2 (though the first one is only 2 UITextFields and the other is normal) of these). Now my issue here seems to be this: as soon as I try to edit any UITextView past the one in the 2nd view, it starts to run incredibly slow, not the app, just the textview. For example, as I type, the little blinky guy lags behind the text and when I click to copy/paste/cut/etc you can see the little balloon fly in from the upper left corner every time. I have run the static analyzer for leaks and come up with nothing and run it alongside some other the testing software in XCode and it does not appear to have any reason for this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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  • C# NotifyIcon behaviour on Windows 7 with MouseClick, MouseDoubleClick events

    - by binball
    Hi, I have strange behaviour with my app after run it on Windows 7. It's connected with NotifyIcon while app is minimized. What should happens: 1) Click once on icon with mouse left button then Balloon with some text should appears 2) Double click on icon will show again app window On Windows 7 MouseDoubleClick is also fired but window is not showing. I don't know why. The same code works good on Windows XP. private void notifyIcon_MouseClick(object sender, MouseEventArgs e) { if (e.Button == MouseButtons.Left) { this.NotifyIconShowBalloonWithData(); } } private void notifyIcon_MouseDoubleClick(object sender, MouseEventArgs e) { this.Show(); WindowState = FormWindowState.Normal; notifyIcon.Visible = false; } What did I wrong? :) Thanks in advance for your answer.

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  • NotifyIcon behaviour on Windows 7 with MouseClick, MouseDoubleClick events

    - by binball
    I have strange behaviour with my app after run it on Windows 7. It's connected with NotifyIcon while app is minimized. What should happens: 1) Click once on icon with mouse left button then Balloon with some text should appears 2) Double click on icon will show again app window On Windows 7 MouseDoubleClick is also fired but window is not showing. I don't know why. The same code works good on Windows XP. private void notifyIcon_MouseClick(object sender, MouseEventArgs e) { if (e.Button == MouseButtons.Left) { this.NotifyIconShowBalloonWithData(); } } private void notifyIcon_MouseDoubleClick(object sender, MouseEventArgs e) { this.Show(); WindowState = FormWindowState.Normal; notifyIcon.Visible = false; } What did I wrong? :)

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  • What parameters should I use in a Google Maps URL to go to a lat-lon?

    - by xpda
    I would like to produce a url for Google Maps that goes to a specific latitude and longitude. Now, I generate a url such as this: http://maps.google.com/maps?z=11&t=k&q=58 41.881N 152 31.324W The resulting map comes up with a round "A" balloon pointer, which seems to point to the nearest named object, and a green arrow, which points to the lat-lon. Sometimes, as in this example, the "A" pointer is centered and is far enough away that you cannot see the pointer to the lat-lon. (Zoom out to see both pointers in this example. The "A" pointer is in the center of Alaska, while the lat-long pointer is on Kodiak Island.) Are there some parameters I can use in the Google Maps URL that will produce a single pointer to a designated lat-lon? (This loads in a separate window. It is not embedded.)

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  • Jquery: How do I fire/play a sound file when I want?

    - by Sotkra
    I have some code that basically inflates a 'balloon' through 15 or so stages and then makes it pop at the 16th stage. (yes, images are changed). What I'm wondering now is if it's possible to use Jquery to play a sound file whenever I reach that 16th stage (or when whatever var reaches whatever value) - in other words...when I want. I've found several jquery sound plugins but they all create this player which I must then click for it to play the file. How do I skip that 'click' part so that the sound is just...directly/automatically played? http://www.sean-o.com/jquery/jmp3/ http://www.happyworm.com/jquery/jplayer/ All help is appreciated G.Campos

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  • Place text based divs in relative locations within a circle

    - by NickG
    Direct question - How would I place certain objects or small text within a certain area. For example, how would I replace the following image with html/javascript. --- I don't have enough reps to post an image :/ but try this URL - http://i.imgur.com/a3eWL.jpg Big picture - I am trying to create a kml file for Google Earth that when the point is clicked, the balloon description window pops up and I can display my html formatted diagram showing where the satellites are at that instant. Google Earth and KML docs allow for pretty much any html formatting within it, so currently looking for a good way to do this. Disclaimer: It has been a few years since i have done any html or javascript editing, so general examples and insight is greatful. Thanks

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  • Any suggestions in a way to parse headers and links from blog pages using C#?

    - by user344841
    I'm currently self-studying C# in my free time and thought of a "little" project to get me going (and one that I or others will actually find useful). It ended up being more complicated than I thought. Or maybe I'm just thinking it is? Anyway, this project would parse the homepages of the blogs (most of them are Wordpress blogs) I frequent to, take the post headers and the links within those posts and notify me via a balloon tip in the task bar. I can handle the rest except for the way of getting C# to parse the HTML pages for the items I need. C# doesn't seem to have no built-in way to do this. Could anyone point me to the right direction? I just looked into the HTML Agility Pack but I'm still trying to figure it out. Some example code will help much too. Thanks in advance!

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  • Perform Unit Conversions with the Windows 7 Calculator

    - by Matthew Guay
    Want to easily convert area, volume, temperature, and many other units?  With the Calculator in Windows 7, it’s easy to convert most any unit into another. The New Calculator in Windows 7 Calculator received a visual overhaul in Windows 7, but at first glance it doesn’t seem to have any new functionality.  Here’s Windows 7’s Calculator on the left, with Vista’s calculator on the right.   But, looks can be deceiving.  Window’s 7’s calculator has lots of new exciting features.  Let’s try them out.  Simply type Calculator in the start menu search. To uncover the new features, click the View menu.  Here you can select many different modes, including Unit Conversion mode which we will look at. When you select the Unit Conversion mode, the Calculator will expand with a form on the left side. This conversions pane has 3 drop-down menus.  From the top one, select the type of unit you want to convert. In the next two menus, select which values you wish to convert to and from.  For instance, here we selected Temperature in the first menu, Degrees Fahrenheit in the second menu, and Degrees Celsius in the third menu. Enter the value you wish to convert in the From box, and the conversion will automatically appear in the bottom box. The Calculator contains dozens of conversion values, including more uncommon ones.  So if you’ve ever wanted to know how many US gallons are in a UK gallon, or how many knots a supersonic jet travels in an hour, this is a great tool for you!   Conclusion Windows 7 is filled with little changes that give you an all-around better experience in Windows to help you work more efficiently and productively.  With the new features in the Calculator, you just might feel a little smarter, too! Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Add Windows Calculator to the Excel 2007 Quick Launch ToolbarEnjoy Quick & Easy Unit Conversion with Convert for WindowsCalculate with Qalculate on LinuxDisable the Annoying “This device can perform faster” Balloon Message in Windows 7Get stats on your Ruby on Rails code TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips DVDFab 6 Revo Uninstaller Pro Registry Mechanic 9 for Windows PC Tools Internet Security Suite 2010 Install, Remove and HIDE Fonts in Windows 7 Need Help with Your Home Network? Awesome Lyrics Finder for Winamp & Windows Media Player Download Videos from Hulu Pixels invade Manhattan Convert PDF files to ePub to read on your iPad

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  • Find a Faster DNS Server with Namebench

    - by Mysticgeek
    One way to speed up your Internet browsing experience is using a faster DNS server. Today we take a look at Namebench, which will compare your current DNS server against others out there, and help you find a faster one. Namebench Download the file and run the executable (link below). Namebench starts up and will include the current DNS server you have configured on your system. In this example we’re behind a router and using the DNS server from the ISP. Include the global DNS providers and the best available regional DNS server, then start the Benchmark. The test starts to run and you’ll see the queries it’s running through. The benchmark takes about 5-10 minutes to complete. After it’s complete you’ll get a report of the results. Based on its findings, it will show you what DNS server is fastest for your system. It also displays different types of graphs so you can get a better feel for the different results. You can export the results to a .csv file as well so you can present the results in Excel. Conclusion This is a free project that is in continuing development, so results might not be perfect, and there may be more features added in the future. If you’re looking for a method to help find a faster DNS server for your system, Namebench is a cool free utility to help you out. If you’re looking for a public DNS server that is customizable and includes filters, you might want to check out our article on helping to protect your kids from questionable content using OpenDNS. You can also check out how to speed up your web browsing with Google Public DNS. Links Download NameBench for Windows, Mac, and Linux from Google Code Learn More About the Project on the Namebench Wiki Page Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Open a Second Console Session on Ubuntu ServerShare Ubuntu Home Directories using SambaSetup OpenSSH Server on Ubuntu LinuxDisable the Annoying “This device can perform faster” Balloon Message in Windows 7Search For Rows With Special Characters in SQL Server TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips DVDFab 6 Revo Uninstaller Pro Registry Mechanic 9 for Windows PC Tools Internet Security Suite 2010 How to Add Exceptions to the Windows Firewall Office 2010 reviewed in depth by Ed Bott FoxClocks adds World Times in your Statusbar (Firefox) Have Fun Editing Photo Editing with Citrify Outlook Connector Upgrade Error Gadfly is a cool Twitter/Silverlight app

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  • How to shoot yourself in the foot (DO NOT Read in the office)

    - by TATWORTH
    Originally posted on: http://geekswithblogs.net/TATWORTH/archive/2013/06/21/how-to-shoot-yourself-in-the-foot-do-not-read.aspxLet me make it absolutely clear - the following is:merely collated by your Geek from http://www.codeproject.com/Lounge.aspx?msg=3917012#xx3917012xxvery, very very funny so you read it in the presence of others at your own riskso here is the list - you have been warned!C You shoot yourself in the foot.   C++ You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying "That's me, over there."   FORTRAN You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling facility.   Modula-2 After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.   COBOL USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.   Lisp You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...   BASIC Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.   Forth Foot yourself in the shoot.   APL You shoot yourself in the foot; then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.   Pascal The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.   Snobol If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.   HyperTalk Put the first bullet of the gun into foot left of leg of you. Answer the result.   Prolog You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't allow it to explain.   370 JCL You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep-fried.   FORTRAN-77 You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you still can't do exception-processing.   Modula-2 (alternative) You perform a shooting on what might be currently a foot with what might be currently a bullet shot by what might currently be a gun.   BASIC (compiled) You shoot yourself in the foot with a BB using a SCUD missile launcher.   Visual Basic You'll really only appear to have shot yourself in the foot, but you'll have so much fun doing it that you won't care.   Forth (alternative) BULLET DUP3 * GUN LOAD FOOT AIM TRIGGER PULL BANG! EMIT DEAD IF DROP ROT THEN (This takes about five bytes of memory, executes in two to ten clock cycles on any processor and can be used to replace any existing function of the language as well as in any future words). (Welcome to bottom up programming - where you, too, can perform compiler pre-processing instead of writing code)   APL (alternative) You hear a gunshot and there's a hole in your foot, but you don't remember enough linear algebra to understand what happened. or @#&^$%&%^ foot   Pascal (alternative) Same as Modula-2 except that the bullet is not the right type for the gun and your hand is blown off.   Snobol (alternative) You grab your foot with your hand, then rewrite your hand to be a bullet. The act of shooting the original foot then changes your hand/bullet into yet another foot (a left foot).   Prolog (alternative) You attempt to shoot yourself in the foot, but the bullet, failing to find its mark, backtracks to the gun, which then explodes in your face.   COMAL You attempt to shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol, but the bore is clogged, and the pressure build-up blows apart both the pistol and your hand. or draw_pistol aim_at_foot(left) pull_trigger hop(swearing)   Scheme As Lisp, but none of the other appendages are aware of this happening.   Algol You shoot yourself in the foot with a musket. The musket is aesthetically fascinating and the wound baffles the adolescent medic in the emergency room.   Ada If you are dumb enough to actually use this language, the United States Department of Defense will kidnap you, stand you up in front of a firing squad and tell the soldiers, "Shoot at the feet." or The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarette. or After correctly packaging your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun, pull the trigger, scream and shoot yourself in the foot. When you try, however, you discover that your foot is of the wrong type. or After correctly packing your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun, pull the trigger, scream, and confidently aim at your foot knowing it is safe. However the cordite in the round does an Unchecked Conversion, fires and shoots you in the foot anyway.   Eiffel   You create a GUN object, two FOOT objects and a BULLET object. The GUN passes both the FOOT objects a reference to the BULLET. The FOOT objects increment their hole counts and forget about the BULLET. A little demon then drives a garbage truck over your feet and grabs the bullet (both of it) on the way. Smalltalk You spend so much time playing with the graphics and windowing system that your boss shoots you in the foot, takes away your workstation and makes you develop in COBOL on a character terminal. or You send the message shoot to gun, with selectors bullet and myFoot. A window pops up saying Gunpowder doesNotUnderstand: spark. After several fruitless hours spent browsing the methods for Trigger, FiringPin and IdealGas, you take the easy way out and create ShotFoot, a subclass of Foot with an additional instance variable bulletHole. Object Oriented Pascal You perform a shooting on what might currently be a foot with what might currently be a bullet fired from what might currently be a gun.   PL/I You consume all available system resources, including all the offline bullets. The Data Processing & Payroll Department doubles its size, triples its budget, acquires four new mainframes and drops the original one on your foot. Postscript foot bullets 6 locate loadgun aim gun shoot showpage or It takes the bullet ten minutes to travel from the gun to your foot, by which time you're long since gone out to lunch. The text comes out great, though.   PERL You stab yourself in the foot repeatedly with an incredibly large and very heavy Swiss Army knife. or You pick up the gun and begin to load it. The gun and your foot begin to grow to huge proportions and the world around you slows down, until the gun fires. It makes a tiny hole, which you don't feel. Assembly Language You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk. The system administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot. After a moment of contemplation, the administrator shoots himself in the foot and then hops around the room rabidly shooting at everyone in sight. or You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot.or The bullet travels to your foot instantly, but it took you three weeks to load the round and aim the gun.   BCPL You shoot yourself somewhere in the leg -- you can't get any finer resolution than that. Concurrent Euclid You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.   Motif You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the bullet and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.   Powerbuilder While attempting to load the gun you discover that the LoadGun system function is buggy; as a work around you tape the bullet to the outside of the gun and unsuccessfully attempt to fire it with a nail. In frustration you club your foot with the butt of the gun and explain to your client that this approximates the functionality of shooting yourself in the foot and that the next version of Powerbuilder will fix it.   Standard ML By the time you get your code to typecheck, you're using a shoot to foot yourself in the gun.   MUMPS You shoot 583149 AK-47 teflon-tipped, hollow-point, armour-piercing bullets into even-numbered toes on odd-numbered feet of everyone in the building -- with one line of code. Three weeks later you shoot yourself in the head rather than try to modify that line.   Java You locate the Gun class, but discover that the Bullet class is abstract, so you extend it and write the missing part of the implementation. Then you implement the ShootAble interface for your foot, and recompile the Foot class. The interface lets the bullet call the doDamage method on the Foot, so the Foot can damage itself in the most effective way. Now you run the program, and call the doShoot method on the instance of the Gun class. First the Gun creates an instance of Bullet, which calls the doFire method on the Gun. The Gun calls the hit(Bullet) method on the Foot, and the instance of Bullet is passed to the Foot. But this causes an IllegalHitByBullet exception to be thrown, and you die.   Unix You shoot yourself in the foot or % ls foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o % rm * .o rm: .o: No such file or directory % ls %   370 JCL (alternative) You shoot yourself in the head just thinking about it.   DOS JCL You first find the building you're in in the phone book, then find your office number in the corporate phone book. Then you have to write this down, then describe, in cubits, your exact location, in relation to the door (right hand side thereof). Then you need to write down the location of the gun (loading it is a proprietary utility), then you load it, and the COBOL program, and run them, and, with luck, it may be run tonight.   VMS   $ MOUNT/DENSITY=.45/LABEL=BULLET/MESSAGE="BYE" BULLET::BULLET$GUN SYS$BULLET $ SET GUN/LOAD/SAFETY=OFF/SIGHT=NONE/HAND=LEFT/CHAMBER=1/ACTION=AUTOMATIC/ LOG/ALL/FULL SYS$GUN_3$DUA3:[000000]GUN.GNU $ SHOOT/LOG/AUTO SYS$GUN SYS$SYSTEM:[FOOT]FOOT.FOOT   %DCL-W-ACTIMAGE, error activating image GUN -CLI-E-IMGNAME, image file $3$DUA240:[GUN]GUN.EXE;1 -IMGACT-F-NOTNATIVE, image is not an OpenVMS Alpha AXP image or %SYS-F-FTSHT, foot shot (fifty lines of traceback omitted) sh,csh, etc You can't remember the syntax for anything, so you spend five hours reading manual pages, then your foot falls asleep. You shoot the computer and switch to C.   Apple System 7 Double click the gun icon and a window giving a selection for guns, target areas, plus balloon help with medical remedies, and assorted sound effects. Click "shoot" button and a small bomb appears with note "Error of Type 1 has occurred."   Windows 3.1 Double click the gun icon and wait. Eventually a window opens giving a selection for guns, target areas, plus balloon help with medical remedies, and assorted sound effects. Click "shoot" button and a small box appears with note "Unable to open Shoot.dll, check that path is correct."   Windows 95 Your gun is not compatible with this OS and you must buy an upgrade and install it before you can continue. Then you will be informed that you don't have enough memory.   CP/M I remember when shooting yourself in the foot with a BB gun was a big deal.   DOS You finally found the gun, but can't locate the file with the foot for the life of you.   MSDOS You shoot yourself in the foot, but can unshoot yourself with add-on software.   Access You try to point the gun at your foot, but it shoots holes in all your Borland distribution diskettes instead.   Paradox Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can too.   dBase You squeeze the trigger, but the bullet moves so slowly that by the time your foot feels the pain, you've forgotten why you shot yourself anyway. or You buy a gun. Bullets are only available from another company and are promised to work so you buy them. Then you find out that the next version of the gun is the one scheduled to actually shoot bullets.   DBase IV, V1.0 You pull the trigger, but it turns out that the gun was a poorly designed hand grenade and the whole building blows up.   SQL You cut your foot off, send it out to a service bureau and when it returns, it has a hole in it but will no longer fit the attachment at the end of your leg. or Insert into Foot Select Bullet >From Gun.Hand Where Chamber = 'LOADED' And Trigger = 'PULLED'   Clipper You grab a bullet, get ready to insert it in the gun so that you can shoot yourself in the foot and discover that the gun that the bullets fits has not yet been built, but should be arriving in the mail _REAL_SOON_NOW_. Oracle The menus for coding foot_shooting have not been implemented yet and you can't do foot shooting in SQL.   English You put your foot in your mouth, then bite it off. (For those who don't know, English is a McDonnell Douglas/PICK query language which allegedly requires 110% of system resources to run happily.) Revelation [an implementation of the PICK Operating System] You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as you figure out what all these bullets are for.   FlagShip Starting at the top of your head, you aim the gun at yourself repeatedly until, half an hour later, the gun is finally pointing at your foot and you pull the trigger. A new foot with a hole in it appears but you can't work out how to get rid of the old one and your gun doesn't work anymore.   FidoNet You put your foot in your mouth, then echo it internationally.   PicoSpan [a UNIX-based computer conferencing system] You can't shoot yourself in the foot because you're not a host. or (host variation) Whenever you shoot yourself in the foot, someone opens a topic in policy about it.   Internet You put your foot in your mouth, shoot it, then spam the bullet so that everybody gets shot in the foot.   troff rmtroff -ms -Hdrwp | lpr -Pwp2 & .*place bullet in footer .B .NR FT +3i .in 4 .bu Shoot! .br .sp .in -4 .br .bp NR HD -2i .*   Genetic Algorithms You create 10,000 strings describing the best way to shoot yourself in the foot. By the time the program produces the optimal solution, humans have evolved wings and the problem is moot.   CSP (Communicating Sequential Processes) You only fail to shoot everything that isn't your foot.   MS-SQL Server MS-SQL Server’s gun comes pre-loaded with an unlimited supply of Teflon coated bullets, and it only has two discernible features: the muzzle and the trigger. If that wasn't enough, MS-SQL Server also puts the gun in your hand, applies local anesthetic to the skin of your forefinger and stitches it to the gun's trigger. Meanwhile, another process has set up a spinal block to numb your lower body. It will then proceeded to surgically remove your foot, cryogenically freeze it for preservation, and attach it to the muzzle of the gun so that no matter where you aim, you will shoot your foot. In order to avoid shooting yourself in the foot, you need to unstitch your trigger finger, remove your foot from the muzzle of the gun, and have it surgically reattached. Then you probably want to get some crutches and go out to buy a book on SQL Server Performance Tuning.   Sybase Sybase's gun requires assembly, and you need to go out and purchase your own clip and bullets to load the gun. Assembly is complicated by the fact that Sybase has hidden the gun behind a big stack of reference manuals, but it hasn't told you where that stack is. While you were off finding the gun, assembling it, buying bullets, etc., Sybase was also busy surgically removing your foot and cryogenically freezing it for preservation. Instead of attaching it to the muzzle of the gun, though, it packed your foot on dry ice and sent it UPS-Ground to an unnamed hookah bar somewhere in the middle east. In order to shoot your foot, you must modify your gun with a GPS system for targeting and hire some guy named "Indy" to find the hookah bar and wire the coordinates back to you. By this time, you've probably become so daunted at the tasks stand between you and shooting your foot that you hire a guy who's read all the books on Sybase to help you shoot your foot. If you're lucky, he'll be smart enough both to find your foot and to stop you from shooting it.   Magic software You spend 1 week looking up the correct syntax for GUN. When you find it, you realise that GUN will not let you shoot in your own foot. It will allow you to shoot almost anything but your foot. You then decide to build your own gun. You can't use the standard barrel since this will only allow for standard bullets, which will not fire if the barrel is pointed at your foot. After four weeks, you have created your own custom gun. It blows up in your hand without warning, because you failed to initialise the safety catch and it doesn't know whether the initial state is "0", 0, NULL, "ZERO", 0.0, 0,0, "0.0", or "0,00". You fix the problem with your remaining hand by nesting 12 safety catches, and then decide to build the gun without safety catch. You then shoot the management and retire to a happy life where you code in languages that will allow you to shoot your foot in under 10 days.FirefoxLets you shoot yourself in as many feet as you'd like, while using multiple great addons! IEA moving target in terms of standard ammunition size and doesn't always work properly with non-Microsoft ammunition, so sometimes you shoot something other than your foot. However, it's the corporate world's standard foot-shooting apparatus. Hackers seem to enjoy rigging websites up to trigger cascading foot-shooting failures. Windows 98 About the same as Windows 95 in terms of overall bullet capacity and triggering mechanisms. Includes updated DirectShot API. A new version was released later on to support USB guns, Windows 98 SE.WPF:You get your baseball glove and a ball and you head out to your backyard, where you throw balls to your pitchback. Then your unkempt-haired-cargo-shorts-and-sandals-with-white-socks-wearing neighbor uses XAML to sculpt your arm into a gun, the ball into a bullet and the pitchback into your foot. By now, however, only the neighbor can get it to work and he's only around from 6:30 PM - 3:30 AM. LOGO: You very carefully lay out the trajectory of the bullet. Then you start the gun, which fires very slowly. You walk precisely to the point where the bullet will travel and wait, but just before it gets to you, your class time is up and one of the other kids has already used the system to hack into Sony's PS3 network. Flash: Someone has designed a beautiful-looking gun that anyone can shoot their feet with for free. It weighs six hundred pounds. All kinds of people are shooting themselves in the feet, and sending the link to everyone else so that they can too. That is, except for the criminals, who are all stealing iOS devices that the gun won't work with.APL: Its (mostly) all greek to me. Lisp: Place ((gun in ((hand sight (foot then shoot))))) (Lots of Insipid Stupid Parentheses)Apple OS/X and iOS Once a year, Steve Jobs returns from sick leave to tell millions of unwavering fans how they will be able to shoot themselves in the foot differently this year. They retweet and blog about it ad nauseam, and wait in line to be the first to experience "shoot different".Windows ME Usually fails, even at shooting you in the foot. Yo dawg, I heard you like shooting yourself in the foot. So I put a gun in your gun, so you can shoot yourself in the foot while you shoot yourself in the foot. (Okay, I'm not especially proud of this joke.) Windows 2000 Now you really do have to log in, before you are allowed to shoot yourself in the foot.Windows XPYou thought you learned your lesson: Don't use Windows ME. Then, along came this new creature, built on top of Windows NT! So you spend the next couple days installing antivirus software, patches and service packs, just so you can get that driver to install, and then proceed to shoot yourself in the foot. Windows Vista Newer! Glossier! Shootier! Windows 7 The bullets come out a lot smoother. Active Directory Each bullet now has an attached Bullet Identifier, and can be uniquely identified. Policies can be applied to dictate fragmentation, and the gun will occasionally have a confusing delay after the trigger has been pulled. PythonYou try to use import foot; foot.shoot() only to realize that's only available in 3.0, to which you can't yet upgrade from 2.7 because of all those extension libs lacking support. Solaris Shoots best when used on SPARC hardware, but still runs the trigger GUI under Java. After weeks of learning the appropriate STOP command to prevent the trigger from automatically being pressed on boot, you think you've got it under control. Then the one time you ever use dtrace, it hits a bug that fires the gun. MySQL The feature that allows you to shoot yourself in the foot has been in development for about 6 years, and they are adding it into the next version, which is coming out REAL SOON NOW, promise! But you can always check it out of source control and try it yourself (just not in any environment where data integrity is important because it will probably explode.) PostgreSQLAllows you to have a smug look on your face while you shoot yourself in the foot, because those MySQL guys STILL don't have that feature. NoSQL Barrel? Who needs a barrel? Just put the bullet on your foot, and strike it with a hammer. See? It's so much simpler and more efficient that way. You can even strike multiple bullets in one swing if you swing with a good enough arc, because hammers are easy to use. Getting them to synchronize is a little difficult, though.Eclipse There are about a dozen different packages for shooting yourself in the foot, with weird interdependencies on outdated components. Once you finally navigate the morass and get one installed, you then have something to look at while you shoot yourself in the foot with that package: You can watch the screen redraw.Outlook Makes it really easy to let everyone know you shot yourself in the foot!Shooting yourself in the foot using delegates.You really need to shoot yourself in the foot but you hate firearms (you don't want any dependency on the specifics of shooting) so you delegate it to somebody else. You don't care how it is done as long is shooting your foot. You can do it asynchronously in case you know you may faint so you are called back/slapped in the face by your shooter/friend (or background worker) when everything is done.C#You prepare the gun and the bullet, carefully modeling all of the physics of a bullet traveling through a foot. Just before you're about to pull the trigger, you stumble on System.Windows.BodyParts.Foot.ShootAt(System.Windows.Firearms.IGun gun) in the extended framework, realize you just wasted the entire afternoon, and shoot yourself in the head.PHP<?phprequire("foot_safety_check.php");?><!DOCTYPE HTML><html><head> <!--Lower!--><title>Shooting me in the foot</title></head> <body> <!--LOWER!!!--><leg> <!--OK, I made this one up...--><footer><?php echo (dungSift($_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'], "ie"))?("Your foot is safe, but you might want to wear a hard hat!"):("<div class=\"shot\">BANG!</div>"); ?></footer></leg> </body> </html>

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