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  • techniques for an AI for a highly cramped turn-based tactics game

    - by Adam M.
    I'm trying to write an AI for a tactics game in the vein of Final Fantasy Tactics or Vandal Hearts. I can't change the game rules in any way, only upgrade the AI. I have experience programming AI for classic board games (basically minimax and its variants), but I think the branching factor is too great for the approach to be reasonable here. I'll describe the game and some current AI flaws that I'd like to fix. I'd like to hear ideas for applicable techniques. I'm a decent enough programmer, so I only need the ideas, not an implementation (though that's always appreciated). I'd rather not expend effort chasing (too many) dead ends, so although speculation and brainstorming are good and probably helpful, I'd prefer to hear from somebody with actual experience solving this kind of problem. For those who know it, the game is the land battle mini-game in Sid Meier's Pirates! (2004) and you can skim/skip the next two paragraphs. For those who don't, here's briefly how it works. The battle is turn-based and takes place on a 16x16 grid. There are three terrain types: clear (no hindrance), forest (hinders movement, ranged attacks, and sight), and rock (impassible, but does not hinder attacks or sight). The map is randomly generated with roughly equal amounts of each type of terrain. Because there are many rock and forest tiles, movement is typically very cramped. This is tactically important. The terrain is not flat; higher terrain gives minor bonuses. The terrain is known to both sides. The player is always the attacker and the AI is always the defender, so it's perfectly valid for the AI to set up a defensive position and just wait. The player wins by killing all defenders or by getting a unit to the city gates (a tile on the other side of the map). There are very few units on each side, usually 4-8. Because of this, it's crucial not to take damage without gaining some advantage from it. Units can take multiple actions per turn. All units on one side move before any units on the other side. Order of execution is important, and interleaving of actions between units is often useful. Units have melee and ranged attacks. Melee attacks vary widely in strength; ranged attacks have the same strength but vary in range. The main challenges I face are these: Lots of useful move combinations start with a "useless" move that gains no immediate advantage, or even loses advantage, in order to set up a powerful flank attack in the future. And, since the player units are stronger and have longer range, the AI pretty much always has to take some losses before they can start to gain kills. The AI must be able to look ahead to distinguish between sacrificial actions that provide a future benefit and those that don't. Because the terrain is so cramped, most of the tactics come down to achieving good positioning with multiple units that work together to defend an area. For instance, two defenders can often dominate a narrow pass by positioning themselves so an enemy unit attempting to pass must expose itself to a flank attack. But one defender in the same pass would be useless, and three units can defend a slightly larger pass. Etc. The AI should be able to figure out where the player must go to reach the city gates and how to best position its few units to cover the approaches, shifting, splitting, or combining them appropriately as the player moves. Because flank attacks are extremely deadly (and engineering flank attacks is key to the player strategy), the AI should be competent at moving its units so that they cover each other's flanks unless the sacrifice of a unit would give a substantial benefit. They should also be able to force flank attacks on players, for instance by threatening a unit from two different directions such that responding to one threat exposes the flank to the other. The AI should attack if possible, but sometimes there are no good ways to approach the player's position. In that case, the AI should be able to recognize this and set up a defensive position of its own. But the AI shouldn't be vulnerable to a trivial exploit where the player repeatedly opens and closes a hole in his defense and shoots at the AI as it approaches and retreats. That is, the AI should ideally be able to recognize that the player is capable of establishing a solid defense of an area, even if the defense is not currently in place. (I suppose if a good unit allocation algorithm existed, as needed for the second bullet point, the AI could run it on the player units to see where they could defend.) Because it's important to choose a good order of action and interleave actions between units, it's not as simple as just finding the best move for each unit in turn. All of these can be accomplished with a minimax search in theory, but the search space is too large, so specialized techniques are needed. I thought about techniques such as influence mapping, but I don't see how to use the technique to great effect. I thought about assigning goals to the units. This can help them work together in some limited way, and the problem of "how do I accomplish this goal?" is easier to solve than "how do I win this battle?", but assigning good goals is a hard problem in itself, because it requires knowing whether the goal is achievable and whether it's a good use of resources. So, does anyone have specific ideas for techniques that can help cleverize this AI? Update: I found a related question on Stackoverflow: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/3133273/ai-for-a-final-fantasy-tactics-like-game The selected answer gives a decent approach to choosing between alternative actions, but it doesn't seem to have much ability to look into the future and discern beneficial sacrifices from wasteful ones. It also focuses on a single unit at a time and it's not clear how it could be extended to support cooperation between units in defending or attacking.

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  • Personal Development : Time, Planning , Repairs & Maintenance

    - by Rajesh Pillai
    Personal Development : Time, Planning, Repairs & Maintenance These are just my thoughts, but some you may find something interesting in it. Please think over it. We may know many things, but still we always keeps procrastinating it. I have written this as I have heard many people coming back and saying they don’t have time to do things they like. These are my thoughts buy may be useful to someone else too. Certain things in life needs periodic repairs and maintenance. To cite some examples , your CAR, your HOUSE, your personal laptop/desktop, your health etc. Likewise there are certain other things in professional life that requires repair/ maintenance /or some kind of polishing, so that you always stay on top of it. But they are not always obvious. Some of them are - Improving your communication skills - Increasing your vocabulary - Upgrading your technical skills - Pursuing your hobby - Increasing your knowledge/awareness etc… etc… And then there are certain things that we are always short of…. one is TIME. We all know TIME is one of the most precious things in life and yet we all are very miserable at managing it. Remember you can only manage it and not control it. You can only control which you own or which you create. In theory time is infinite. So, there should be abundant of it. But remember one thing, you know this, it’s not reversible. Once it has elapsed you cannot live it again. Think over it. So, how do find that golden 25th hour every day. To find the 25th hour you need to reflect back on your current daily activities. Analyze them and see where you are spending most of your time and is it really important. Even the 8 hours that you spent in the office, is it spent fruitfully. At the end of the day is the 8 precious hour that you spent was worth it. Just reflect back on your activities. Did you learn something? If yes did you make a point to NOTE IT. If you didn’t NOTED it then was the time you spent really worth it. Just ponder over it. Some calculations of your daily activities where most of the time is spent. Let’s start (in no particular order though) - Sleep (6.5 hours) [Remember you only require 6 good hours of sleep every day]. Some may thing it is 8, but it’s a myth.   o To achive 6 hours of sleep and be in good health you can practice 15 minutes of daily meditation. So effectively you can    round it to 6.5 hours. - Morning chores(2 hours) : Some may need to prepare breakfast and all other things. - Office commuting (avg. to and fro 3 hours) - Office Work (avg 9.5 hours) Total Hours: 21 hours effective time which is spent irrespective of what you do. There may be some variations here and there. Still you have 3 hours EXTRA. Where do these 3 hours go? If you can find it, then you may get that golden 25th hour out of these 3 hours. Let’s discount 2 hours for contingencies, still you have 1 hour with you. If you can’t find it then you are living a direction less life. As you can see, the 25th Hour lies within the 24 hours of the day. It’s upto each one of us to find and make use of it. Now what can you do with that 25th hour i.e. 1 hour extra of your life. Imagine the possibility. Again some calculations 1 hour daily * 30 days = 30 hours every month 30 hours pm * 12 month = 360 hours every year. 360 hours every year seems very promising. Let’s add some contingencies, say, let’s be optimistic and say 50 % contingency. Still you have 180 hours every year. That leaves with 30 minutes every day of extra time. That’s hell a lot of time, if you could manage it. These may sound like a high talk [yes, it is, unless you apply these simple rules and rationalize your everyday living and stop procrastinating]. NOTE: I haven’t taken weekend, holidays and leaves into account. So, that leaves us with a lot of buffer time. You can meet family friends, relatives, other tasks, and yet have these 180 pure hours of joy every year. Do whatever you want to do with it. So, how important is this 180 hours per year to you? Just think over it. You may use it the way you like - 50 hours [pursue your hobby like drawing, crafting, learn dance, learn juggling, learn swimming, travelling hmm.. anything you like doing and you didn’t had time to do it.] - 30 hours you can learn a new programming language or technology (i.e. you can get comfortable with it) - 50 hours [improve existing skills] - 20 hours [improve you communication skill]. Do some light reading. - 30 hours [YOU DECIDE WHAT TO DO]? So, if you had done this for one year you would have learnt a new programming language, upgraded existing skills, improved you communication etc.. If you had done this for two years.. imagine the level of personal development or growth which you may have attained….. If you had done this for three years….. NOW I think I don’t need to mention this… So, you still have TIME, as they say TIME is infinite. So, make judicious use of this precious thing. And never ever comeback saying “I don’t have time”. So, if you are RICH in TIME, everything else will be automatically taken care of, as those things may just be a byproduct of how you spend your time… So, happy TIMING your TIME everyday.

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  • SortedDictionary and SortedList

    - by Simon Cooper
    Apart from Dictionary<TKey, TValue>, there's two other dictionaries in the BCL - SortedDictionary<TKey, TValue> and SortedList<TKey, TValue>. On the face of it, these two classes do the same thing - provide an IDictionary<TKey, TValue> interface where the iterator returns the items sorted by the key. So what's the difference between them, and when should you use one rather than the other? (as in my previous post, I'll assume you have some basic algorithm & datastructure knowledge) SortedDictionary We'll first cover SortedDictionary. This is implemented as a special sort of binary tree called a red-black tree. Essentially, it's a binary tree that uses various constraints on how the nodes of the tree can be arranged to ensure the tree is always roughly balanced (for more gory algorithmical details, see the wikipedia link above). What I'm concerned about in this post is how the .NET SortedDictionary is actually implemented. In .NET 4, behind the scenes, the actual implementation of the tree is delegated to a SortedSet<KeyValuePair<TKey, TValue>>. One example tree might look like this: Each node in the above tree is stored as a separate SortedSet<T>.Node object (remember, in a SortedDictionary, T is instantiated to KeyValuePair<TKey, TValue>): class Node { public bool IsRed; public T Item; public SortedSet<T>.Node Left; public SortedSet<T>.Node Right; } The SortedSet only stores a reference to the root node; all the data in the tree is accessed by traversing the Left and Right node references until you reach the node you're looking for. Each individual node can be physically stored anywhere in memory; what's important is the relationship between the nodes. This is also why there is no constructor to SortedDictionary or SortedSet that takes an integer representing the capacity; there are no internal arrays that need to be created and resized. This may seen trivial, but it's an important distinction between SortedDictionary and SortedList that I'll cover later on. And that's pretty much it; it's a standard red-black tree. Plenty of webpages and datastructure books cover the algorithms behind the tree itself far better than I could. What's interesting is the comparions between SortedDictionary and SortedList, which I'll cover at the end. As a side point, SortedDictionary has existed in the BCL ever since .NET 2. That means that, all through .NET 2, 3, and 3.5, there has been a bona-fide sorted set class in the BCL (called TreeSet). However, it was internal, so it couldn't be used outside System.dll. Only in .NET 4 was this class exposed as SortedSet. SortedList Whereas SortedDictionary didn't use any backing arrays, SortedList does. It is implemented just as the name suggests; two arrays, one containing the keys, and one the values (I've just used random letters for the values): The items in the keys array are always guarenteed to be stored in sorted order, and the value corresponding to each key is stored in the same index as the key in the values array. In this example, the value for key item 5 is 'z', and for key item 8 is 'm'. Whenever an item is inserted or removed from the SortedList, a binary search is run on the keys array to find the correct index, then all the items in the arrays are shifted to accomodate the new or removed item. For example, if the key 3 was removed, a binary search would be run to find the array index the item was at, then everything above that index would be moved down by one: and then if the key/value pair {7, 'f'} was added, a binary search would be run on the keys to find the index to insert the new item, and everything above that index would be moved up to accomodate the new item: If another item was then added, both arrays would be resized (to a length of 10) before the new item was added to the arrays. As you can see, any insertions or removals in the middle of the list require a proportion of the array contents to be moved; an O(n) operation. However, if the insertion or removal is at the end of the array (ie the largest key), then it's only O(log n); the cost of the binary search to determine it does actually need to be added to the end (excluding the occasional O(n) cost of resizing the arrays to fit more items). As a side effect of using backing arrays, SortedList offers IList Keys and Values views that simply use the backing keys or values arrays, as well as various methods utilising the array index of stored items, which SortedDictionary does not (and cannot) offer. The Comparison So, when should you use one and not the other? Well, here's the important differences: Memory usage SortedDictionary and SortedList have got very different memory profiles. SortedDictionary... has a memory overhead of one object instance, a bool, and two references per item. On 64-bit systems, this adds up to ~40 bytes, not including the stored item and the reference to it from the Node object. stores the items in separate objects that can be spread all over the heap. This helps to keep memory fragmentation low, as the individual node objects can be allocated wherever there's a spare 60 bytes. In contrast, SortedList... has no additional overhead per item (only the reference to it in the array entries), however the backing arrays can be significantly larger than you need; every time the arrays are resized they double in size. That means that if you add 513 items to a SortedList, the backing arrays will each have a length of 1024. To conteract this, the TrimExcess method resizes the arrays back down to the actual size needed, or you can simply assign list.Capacity = list.Count. stores its items in a continuous block in memory. If the list stores thousands of items, this can cause significant problems with Large Object Heap memory fragmentation as the array resizes, which SortedDictionary doesn't have. Performance Operations on a SortedDictionary always have O(log n) performance, regardless of where in the collection you're adding or removing items. In contrast, SortedList has O(n) performance when you're altering the middle of the collection. If you're adding or removing from the end (ie the largest item), then performance is O(log n), same as SortedDictionary (in practice, it will likely be slightly faster, due to the array items all being in the same area in memory, also called locality of reference). So, when should you use one and not the other? As always with these sort of things, there are no hard-and-fast rules. But generally, if you: need to access items using their index within the collection are populating the dictionary all at once from sorted data aren't adding or removing keys once it's populated then use a SortedList. But if you: don't know how many items are going to be in the dictionary are populating the dictionary from random, unsorted data are adding & removing items randomly then use a SortedDictionary. The default (again, there's no definite rules on these sort of things!) should be to use SortedDictionary, unless there's a good reason to use SortedList, due to the bad performance of SortedList when altering the middle of the collection.

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  • Oracle 'In Touch' PartnerCast – Neues von der Oracle OpenWorld

    - by Alliances & Channels Redaktion
    Kurz nach den vielen interessanten Ankündigungen auf der Oracle OpenWorld sind alle Oracle EMEA Partner herzlich eingeladen, an dem „In Touch“-Partnerwebcast mit David Callaghan, Senior Vice President EMEA Alliances and Channels, und seinen Studiogästen teilzunehmen. Am Dienstag, 29. Oktober, um 11:30 Uhr MEZ informiert Sie David Callaghan über die neuesten Entwicklungen rund um die Oracle Cloud und Oracle Hardware. Er wird die Key Partner Wins aus dem ersten Quartal vorstellen sowie Ihre Fragen an seine Studiogäste weiterleiten. Live im Studio dabei ist Will O'Brien, Vice President Alliances & Channels, UK & Irland, der über die Highlights der Oracle OpenWorld berichtet und die Relevanz von Storage für das Software Business erläutert. David Callaghan wird Will O’Brien zu seiner neuen Rolle interviewen und ihn nach seinen obersten Prioritäten für FY14 befragen. Markus Reischl, Senior Director und Sales Leader EMEA Strategic Alliances, stellt die Updates in Business Intelligence vor und berichtet darüber, wie diese das gesamte Oracle Portfolio beeinflussen und welche Chancen dies für die Partner bringt. Registrieren Sie sich hier für den Webcast. Über Fragen an die Studiogäste freut sich David Callaghan. Kontaktieren Sie ihn über Twitter mit dem Hashtag #DCpickme oder per E-Mail [email protected]. Mehr Informationen über diesen sowie frühere Webcasts on-demand finden Sie hier auf der neuen Website.

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  • Oracle 'In Touch' PartnerCast – Neues von der Oracle OpenWorld

    - by Alliances & Channels Redaktion
    Kurz nach den vielen interessanten Ankündigungen auf der Oracle OpenWorld sind alle Oracle EMEA Partner herzlich eingeladen, an dem „In Touch“-Partnerwebcast mit David Callaghan, Senior Vice President EMEA Alliances and Channels, und seinen Studiogästen teilzunehmen. Am Dienstag, 29. Oktober, um 11:30 Uhr MEZ informiert Sie David Callaghan über die neuesten Entwicklungen rund um die Oracle Cloud und Oracle Hardware. Er wird die Key Partner Wins aus dem ersten Quartal vorstellen sowie Ihre Fragen an seine Studiogäste weiterleiten. Live im Studio dabei ist Will O'Brien, Vice President Alliances & Channels, UK & Irland, der über die Highlights der Oracle OpenWorld berichtet und die Relevanz von Storage für das Software Business erläutert. David Callaghan wird Will O’Brien zu seiner neuen Rolle interviewen und ihn nach seinen obersten Prioritäten für FY14 befragen. Markus Reischl, Senior Director und Sales Leader EMEA Strategic Alliances, stellt die Updates in Business Intelligence vor und berichtet darüber, wie diese das gesamte Oracle Portfolio beeinflussen und welche Chancen dies für die Partner bringt. Registrieren Sie sich hier für den Webcast. Über Fragen an die Studiogäste freut sich David Callaghan. Kontaktieren Sie ihn über Twitter mit dem Hashtag #DCpickme oder per E-Mail [email protected]. Mehr Informationen über diesen sowie frühere Webcasts on-demand finden Sie hier auf der neuen Website.

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  • SQL Contest – Result of Cartoon Contest

    - by pinaldave
    Earlier we had an excellent contest ran with the help of Embarcadero Technologies. We had two different contests on the same day sponsored by the kind folks at Embarcadero. Here are the details of the winners. 1) Win USD 25 Amazon Gift Cards (10 Units) We had announced that we will award USD 25 Amazon Gift Cards to 10 lucky winners who will download the DB Optimizer between Nov 29 to Dec 8. Here is the name of the winners. Winners will get Amazon Gift Cards USD 25 in the next 5 days of this blog post to their registered email address. If you do not receive the card, do send me email (Pinal at sqlauthority.com) and I will follow up on the details. Name of the winners: Ramdas Narayanan Krishna Uppuluri Donna Kray Santosh Gupta Robert Small Samit Bhatt Bernd Baumanns Rodrigo Oriola Jim Woodin Alfred Sandou 2) Win Star Wars R2-D2 Inflatable R/C We had cartoon contest. If you have not read the cartoon – I suggest you go over this cartoon story one more time. The task was to give the correct answer with some interesting note along with it. We selected a few good quotes and put them together. We later on picked the winner by using random algorithm. The winner gets fantastic Star Wars R2-D2 Inflatable R/C. Name of the winner: Aadhar Joshi. He wins R2-D2. You can read his comment over here. Thank you all for participating in the contest – this was fun – if you have liked it do let me know and we will come up with something new for you next time. Reference: Pinal Dave (http://blog.SQLAuthority.com) Filed under: PostADay, SQL, SQL Authority, SQL Query, SQL Server, SQL Tips and Tricks, T SQL, Technology

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  • Blackjack game reshuffling problem

    - by Jam
    I am trying to make a blackjack game where before each new round, the program checks to make sure that the deck has 7 cards per player. And if it doesn't, the deck clears, repopulates, and reshuffles. I have most of the problem down, but for some reason at the start of every deal it reshuffles the deck more than once, and I can't figure out why. Help, please. Here's what I have so far: (P.S. the imported cards and games modules aren't part of the problem, I'm fairly sure my problem lies in the deal() function of my BJ_Deck class.) import cards, games class BJ_Card(cards.Card): """ A Blackjack Card. """ ACE_VALUE = 1 def get_value(self): if self.is_face_up: value = BJ_Card.RANKS.index(self.rank) + 1 if value > 10: value = 10 else: value = None return value value = property(get_value) class BJ_Deck(cards.Deck): """ A Blackjack Deck. """ def populate(self): for suit in BJ_Card.SUITS: for rank in BJ_Card.RANKS: self.cards.append(BJ_Card(rank, suit)) def deal(self, hands, per_hand=1): for rounds in range(per_hand): for hand in hands: if len(self.cards)>=7*(len(hands)): top_card=self.cards[0] self.give(top_card, hand) else: print "Reshuffling the deck." self.cards=[] self.populate() self.shuffle() top_card=self.cards[0] self.give(top_card, hand) class BJ_Hand(cards.Hand): """ A Blackjack Hand. """ def init(self, name): super(BJ_Hand, self).init() self.name = name def __str__(self): rep = self.name + ":\t" + super(BJ_Hand, self).__str__() if self.total: rep += "(" + str(self.total) + ")" return rep def get_total(self): # if a card in the hand has value of None, then total is None for card in self.cards: if not card.value: return None # add up card values, treat each Ace as 1 total = 0 for card in self.cards: total += card.value # determine if hand contains an Ace contains_ace = False for card in self.cards: if card.value == BJ_Card.ACE_VALUE: contains_ace = True # if hand contains Ace and total is low enough, treat Ace as 11 if contains_ace and total <= 11: # add only 10 since we've already added 1 for the Ace total += 10 return total total = property(get_total) def is_busted(self): return self.total > 21 class BJ_Player(BJ_Hand): """ A Blackjack Player. """ def is_hitting(self): response = games.ask_yes_no("\n" + self.name + ", do you want a hit? (Y/N): ") return response == "y" def bust(self): print self.name, "busts." self.lose() def lose(self): print self.name, "loses." def win(self): print self.name, "wins." def push(self): print self.name, "pushes." class BJ_Dealer(BJ_Hand): """ A Blackjack Dealer. """ def is_hitting(self): return self.total < 17 def bust(self): print self.name, "busts." def flip_first_card(self): first_card = self.cards[0] first_card.flip() class BJ_Game(object): """ A Blackjack Game. """ def init(self, names): self.players = [] for name in names: player = BJ_Player(name) self.players.append(player) self.dealer = BJ_Dealer("Dealer") self.deck = BJ_Deck() self.deck.populate() self.deck.shuffle() def get_still_playing(self): remaining = [] for player in self.players: if not player.is_busted(): remaining.append(player) return remaining # list of players still playing (not busted) this round still_playing = property(get_still_playing) def __additional_cards(self, player): while not player.is_busted() and player.is_hitting(): self.deck.deal([player]) print player if player.is_busted(): player.bust() def play(self): # deal initial 2 cards to everyone self.deck.deal(self.players + [self.dealer], per_hand = 2) self.dealer.flip_first_card() # hide dealer's first card for player in self.players: print player print self.dealer # deal additional cards to players for player in self.players: self.__additional_cards(player) self.dealer.flip_first_card() # reveal dealer's first if not self.still_playing: # since all players have busted, just show the dealer's hand print self.dealer else: # deal additional cards to dealer print self.dealer self.__additional_cards(self.dealer) if self.dealer.is_busted(): # everyone still playing wins for player in self.still_playing: player.win() else: # compare each player still playing to dealer for player in self.still_playing: if player.total > self.dealer.total: player.win() elif player.total < self.dealer.total: player.lose() else: player.push() # remove everyone's cards for player in self.players: player.clear() self.dealer.clear() def main(): print "\t\tWelcome to Blackjack!\n" names = [] number = games.ask_number("How many players? (1 - 7): ", low = 1, high = 8) for i in range(number): name = raw_input("Enter player name: ") names.append(name) print game = BJ_Game(names) again = None while again != "n": game.play() again = games.ask_yes_no("\nDo you want to play again?: ") main() raw_input("\n\nPress the enter key to exit.")

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  • C# Performance Pitfall – Interop Scenarios Change the Rules

    - by Reed
    C# and .NET, overall, really do have fantastic performance in my opinion.  That being said, the performance characteristics dramatically differ from native programming, and take some relearning if you’re used to doing performance optimization in most other languages, especially C, C++, and similar.  However, there are times when revisiting tricks learned in native code play a critical role in performance optimization in C#. I recently ran across a nasty scenario that illustrated to me how dangerous following any fixed rules for optimization can be… The rules in C# when optimizing code are very different than C or C++.  Often, they’re exactly backwards.  For example, in C and C++, lifting a variable out of loops in order to avoid memory allocations often can have huge advantages.  If some function within a call graph is allocating memory dynamically, and that gets called in a loop, it can dramatically slow down a routine. This can be a tricky bottleneck to track down, even with a profiler.  Looking at the memory allocation graph is usually the key for spotting this routine, as it’s often “hidden” deep in call graph.  For example, while optimizing some of my scientific routines, I ran into a situation where I had a loop similar to: for (i=0; i<numberToProcess; ++i) { // Do some work ProcessElement(element[i]); } .csharpcode, .csharpcode pre { font-size: small; color: black; font-family: consolas, "Courier New", courier, monospace; background-color: #ffffff; /*white-space: pre;*/ } .csharpcode pre { margin: 0em; } .csharpcode .rem { color: #008000; } .csharpcode .kwrd { color: #0000ff; } .csharpcode .str { color: #006080; } .csharpcode .op { color: #0000c0; } .csharpcode .preproc { color: #cc6633; } .csharpcode .asp { background-color: #ffff00; } .csharpcode .html { color: #800000; } .csharpcode .attr { color: #ff0000; } .csharpcode .alt { background-color: #f4f4f4; width: 100%; margin: 0em; } .csharpcode .lnum { color: #606060; } This loop was at a fairly high level in the call graph, and often could take many hours to complete, depending on the input data.  As such, any performance optimization we could achieve would be greatly appreciated by our users. After a fair bit of profiling, I noticed that a couple of function calls down the call graph (inside of ProcessElement), there was some code that effectively was doing: // Allocate some data required DataStructure* data = new DataStructure(num); // Call into a subroutine that passed around and manipulated this data highly CallSubroutine(data); // Read and use some values from here double values = data->Foo; // Cleanup delete data; // ... return bar; Normally, if “DataStructure” was a simple data type, I could just allocate it on the stack.  However, it’s constructor, internally, allocated it’s own memory using new, so this wouldn’t eliminate the problem.  In this case, however, I could change the call signatures to allow the pointer to the data structure to be passed into ProcessElement and through the call graph, allowing the inner routine to reuse the same “data” memory instead of allocating.  At the highest level, my code effectively changed to something like: DataStructure* data = new DataStructure(numberToProcess); for (i=0; i<numberToProcess; ++i) { // Do some work ProcessElement(element[i], data); } delete data; Granted, this dramatically reduced the maintainability of the code, so it wasn’t something I wanted to do unless there was a significant benefit.  In this case, after profiling the new version, I found that it increased the overall performance dramatically – my main test case went from 35 minutes runtime down to 21 minutes.  This was such a significant improvement, I felt it was worth the reduction in maintainability. In C and C++, it’s generally a good idea (for performance) to: Reduce the number of memory allocations as much as possible, Use fewer, larger memory allocations instead of many smaller ones, and Allocate as high up the call stack as possible, and reuse memory I’ve seen many people try to make similar optimizations in C# code.  For good or bad, this is typically not a good idea.  The garbage collector in .NET completely changes the rules here. In C#, reallocating memory in a loop is not always a bad idea.  In this scenario, for example, I may have been much better off leaving the original code alone.  The reason for this is the garbage collector.  The GC in .NET is incredibly effective, and leaving the allocation deep inside the call stack has some huge advantages.  First and foremost, it tends to make the code more maintainable – passing around object references tends to couple the methods together more than necessary, and overall increase the complexity of the code.  This is something that should be avoided unless there is a significant reason.  Second, (unlike C and C++) memory allocation of a single object in C# is normally cheap and fast.  Finally, and most critically, there is a large advantage to having short lived objects.  If you lift a variable out of the loop and reuse the memory, its much more likely that object will get promoted to Gen1 (or worse, Gen2).  This can cause expensive compaction operations to be required, and also lead to (at least temporary) memory fragmentation as well as more costly collections later. As such, I’ve found that it’s often (though not always) faster to leave memory allocations where you’d naturally place them – deep inside of the call graph, inside of the loops.  This causes the objects to stay very short lived, which in turn increases the efficiency of the garbage collector, and can dramatically improve the overall performance of the routine as a whole. In C#, I tend to: Keep variable declarations in the tightest scope possible Declare and allocate objects at usage While this tends to cause some of the same goals (reducing unnecessary allocations, etc), the goal here is a bit different – it’s about keeping the objects rooted for as little time as possible in order to (attempt) to keep them completely in Gen0, or worst case, Gen1.  It also has the huge advantage of keeping the code very maintainable – objects are used and “released” as soon as possible, which keeps the code very clean.  It does, however, often have the side effect of causing more allocations to occur, but keeping the objects rooted for a much shorter time. Now – nowhere here am I suggesting that these rules are hard, fast rules that are always true.  That being said, my time spent optimizing over the years encourages me to naturally write code that follows the above guidelines, then profile and adjust as necessary.  In my current project, however, I ran across one of those nasty little pitfalls that’s something to keep in mind – interop changes the rules. In this case, I was dealing with an API that, internally, used some COM objects.  In this case, these COM objects were leading to native allocations (most likely C++) occurring in a loop deep in my call graph.  Even though I was writing nice, clean managed code, the normal managed code rules for performance no longer apply.  After profiling to find the bottleneck in my code, I realized that my inner loop, a innocuous looking block of C# code, was effectively causing a set of native memory allocations in every iteration.  This required going back to a “native programming” mindset for optimization.  Lifting these variables and reusing them took a 1:10 routine down to 0:20 – again, a very worthwhile improvement. Overall, the lessons here are: Always profile if you suspect a performance problem – don’t assume any rule is correct, or any code is efficient just because it looks like it should be Remember to check memory allocations when profiling, not just CPU cycles Interop scenarios often cause managed code to act very differently than “normal” managed code. Native code can be hidden very cleverly inside of managed wrappers

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  • Simple Multiplayer CCG System

    - by TobiHeidi
    I am working on a cross plattform Multiplayer CCG (web, android, ios). Here are my goals in design: I want to game to be easly accessible and understandable for non CCG players within the first minute of play. a single game should be played by 2 - 4 players a once, without problems if one players drops out during play. players should make their next turn simultaneous (without waiting for other to make their turns) My current approach: each Card has a point value for four Elements. In each Turn an Element is (randomly) selected and every Player chooses 1 card out of 3. The Player choosen the card with the highest value for that element wins the Round. After 10 Rounds the players a ranked by how many rounds they won. Why does this approach seems not optimal? It seems really to easy to determin the next best turn. Your own turn is to little affected by the play style of the others. I would love the have a system where some cards are better against other cards. A bit of rock paper scissors where you have to think about what next turn the other players will make or so. But really think freely. I would love to hear ideas may it be additions or new systems to make a CCG with roughly the stated design goals. Thanks

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  • Taming Hopping Windows

    - by Roman Schindlauer
    At first glance, hopping windows seem fairly innocuous and obvious. They organize events into windows with a simple periodic definition: the windows have some duration d (e.g. a window covers 5 second time intervals), an interval or period p (e.g. a new window starts every 2 seconds) and an alignment a (e.g. one of those windows starts at 12:00 PM on March 15, 2012 UTC). var wins = xs     .HoppingWindow(TimeSpan.FromSeconds(5),                    TimeSpan.FromSeconds(2),                    new DateTime(2012, 3, 15, 12, 0, 0, DateTimeKind.Utc)); Logically, there is a window with start time a + np and end time a + np + d for every integer n. That’s a lot of windows. So why doesn’t the following query (always) blow up? var query = wins.Select(win => win.Count()); A few users have asked why StreamInsight doesn’t produce output for empty windows. Primarily it’s because there is an infinite number of empty windows! (Actually, StreamInsight uses DateTimeOffset.MaxValue to approximate “the end of time” and DateTimeOffset.MinValue to approximate “the beginning of time”, so the number of windows is lower in practice.) That was the good news. Now the bad news. Events also have duration. Consider the following simple input: var xs = this.Application                 .DefineEnumerable(() => new[]                     { EdgeEvent.CreateStart(DateTimeOffset.UtcNow, 0) })                 .ToStreamable(AdvanceTimeSettings.IncreasingStartTime); Because the event has no explicit end edge, it lasts until the end of time. So there are lots of non-empty windows if we apply a hopping window to that single event! For this reason, we need to be careful with hopping window queries in StreamInsight. Or we can switch to a custom implementation of hopping windows that doesn’t suffer from this shortcoming. The alternate window implementation produces output only when the input changes. We start by breaking up the timeline into non-overlapping intervals assigned to each window. In figure 1, six hopping windows (“Windows”) are assigned to six intervals (“Assignments”) in the timeline. Next we take input events (“Events”) and alter their lifetimes (“Altered Events”) so that they cover the intervals of the windows they intersect. In figure 1, you can see that the first event e1 intersects windows w1 and w2 so it is adjusted to cover assignments a1 and a2. Finally, we can use snapshot windows (“Snapshots”) to produce output for the hopping windows. Notice however that instead of having six windows generating output, we have only four. The first and second snapshots correspond to the first and second hopping windows. The remaining snapshots however cover two hopping windows each! While in this example we saved only two events, the savings can be more significant when the ratio of event duration to window duration is higher. Figure 1: Timeline The implementation of this strategy is straightforward. We need to set the start times of events to the start time of the interval assigned to the earliest window including the start time. Similarly, we need to modify the end times of events to the end time of the interval assigned to the latest window including the end time. The following snap-to-boundary function that rounds a timestamp value t down to the nearest value t' <= t such that t' is a + np for some integer n will be useful. For convenience, we will represent both DateTime and TimeSpan values using long ticks: static long SnapToBoundary(long t, long a, long p) {     return t - ((t - a) % p) - (t > a ? 0L : p); } How do we find the earliest window including the start time for an event? It’s the window following the last window that does not include the start time assuming that there are no gaps in the windows (i.e. duration < interval), and limitation of this solution. To find the end time of that antecedent window, we need to know the alignment of window ends: long e = a + (d % p); Using the window end alignment, we are finally ready to describe the start time selector: static long AdjustStartTime(long t, long e, long p) {     return SnapToBoundary(t, e, p) + p; } To find the latest window including the end time for an event, we look for the last window start time (non-inclusive): public static long AdjustEndTime(long t, long a, long d, long p) {     return SnapToBoundary(t - 1, a, p) + p + d; } Bringing it together, we can define the translation from events to ‘altered events’ as in Figure 1: public static IQStreamable<T> SnapToWindowIntervals<T>(IQStreamable<T> source, TimeSpan duration, TimeSpan interval, DateTime alignment) {     if (source == null) throw new ArgumentNullException("source");     // reason about DateTime and TimeSpan in ticks     long d = Math.Min(DateTime.MaxValue.Ticks, duration.Ticks);     long p = Math.Min(DateTime.MaxValue.Ticks, Math.Abs(interval.Ticks));     // set alignment to earliest possible window     var a = alignment.ToUniversalTime().Ticks % p;     // verify constraints of this solution     if (d <= 0L) { throw new ArgumentOutOfRangeException("duration"); }     if (p == 0L || p > d) { throw new ArgumentOutOfRangeException("interval"); }     // find the alignment of window ends     long e = a + (d % p);     return source.AlterEventLifetime(         evt => ToDateTime(AdjustStartTime(evt.StartTime.ToUniversalTime().Ticks, e, p)),         evt => ToDateTime(AdjustEndTime(evt.EndTime.ToUniversalTime().Ticks, a, d, p)) -             ToDateTime(AdjustStartTime(evt.StartTime.ToUniversalTime().Ticks, e, p))); } public static DateTime ToDateTime(long ticks) {     // just snap to min or max value rather than under/overflowing     return ticks < DateTime.MinValue.Ticks         ? new DateTime(DateTime.MinValue.Ticks, DateTimeKind.Utc)         : ticks > DateTime.MaxValue.Ticks         ? new DateTime(DateTime.MaxValue.Ticks, DateTimeKind.Utc)         : new DateTime(ticks, DateTimeKind.Utc); } Finally, we can describe our custom hopping window operator: public static IQWindowedStreamable<T> HoppingWindow2<T>(     IQStreamable<T> source,     TimeSpan duration,     TimeSpan interval,     DateTime alignment) {     if (source == null) { throw new ArgumentNullException("source"); }     return SnapToWindowIntervals(source, duration, interval, alignment).SnapshotWindow(); } By switching from HoppingWindow to HoppingWindow2 in the following example, the query returns quickly rather than gobbling resources and ultimately failing! public void Main() {     var start = new DateTimeOffset(new DateTime(2012, 6, 28), TimeSpan.Zero);     var duration = TimeSpan.FromSeconds(5);     var interval = TimeSpan.FromSeconds(2);     var alignment = new DateTime(2012, 3, 15, 12, 0, 0, DateTimeKind.Utc);     var events = this.Application.DefineEnumerable(() => new[]     {         EdgeEvent.CreateStart(start.AddSeconds(0), "e0"),         EdgeEvent.CreateStart(start.AddSeconds(1), "e1"),         EdgeEvent.CreateEnd(start.AddSeconds(1), start.AddSeconds(2), "e1"),         EdgeEvent.CreateStart(start.AddSeconds(3), "e2"),         EdgeEvent.CreateStart(start.AddSeconds(9), "e3"),         EdgeEvent.CreateEnd(start.AddSeconds(3), start.AddSeconds(10), "e2"),         EdgeEvent.CreateEnd(start.AddSeconds(9), start.AddSeconds(10), "e3"),     }).ToStreamable(AdvanceTimeSettings.IncreasingStartTime);     var adjustedEvents = SnapToWindowIntervals(events, duration, interval, alignment);     var query = from win in HoppingWindow2(events, duration, interval, alignment)                 select win.Count();     DisplayResults(adjustedEvents, "Adjusted Events");     DisplayResults(query, "Query"); } As you can see, instead of producing a massive number of windows for the open start edge e0, a single window is emitted from 12:00:15 AM until the end of time: Adjusted Events StartTime EndTime Payload 6/28/2012 12:00:01 AM 12/31/9999 11:59:59 PM e0 6/28/2012 12:00:03 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:07 AM e1 6/28/2012 12:00:05 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:15 AM e2 6/28/2012 12:00:11 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:15 AM e3 Query StartTime EndTime Payload 6/28/2012 12:00:01 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:03 AM 1 6/28/2012 12:00:03 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:05 AM 2 6/28/2012 12:00:05 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:07 AM 3 6/28/2012 12:00:07 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:11 AM 2 6/28/2012 12:00:11 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:15 AM 3 6/28/2012 12:00:15 AM 12/31/9999 11:59:59 PM 1 Regards, The StreamInsight Team

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  • Quaternion Camera Orbiting around a Sphere

    - by jessejuicer
    Background: I'm trying to create a game where the camera is always rotating around a single sphere. I'm using the DirectX D3DX math functions in C++ on Windows. The Problem: I cannot get both the camera position and orientation both working properly at the same time. Either one works but not both together. Here's the code for my quaternion camera that revolves around a sphere, always looking at the centerpoint of the sphere, ... as far as I understand it (but which isn't working properly): (I'm only going to present rotation around the X axis here, to simplify this post) Whenever the UP key is pressed or held down, the camera should rotate around the X axis, while looking at the centerpoint of the sphere (which is at 0,0,0 in the world). So, I build a quaternion that represents a small angle of rotation around the x axis like this (where 'deltaAngle' is a small enough number for a slow rotation): D3DXVECTOR3 rotAxis; D3DXQUATERNION tempQuat; tempQuat.x = 0.0f; tempQuat.y = 0.0f; tempQuat.z = 0.0f; tempQuat.w = 1.0f; rotAxis.x = 1.0f; rotAxis.y = 0.0f; rotAxis.z = 0.0f; D3DXQuaternionRotationAxis(&tempQuat, &rotAxis, deltaAngle); ...and I accumulate the result into the camera's current orientation quat, like this: D3DXQuaternionMultiply(&cameraOrientationQuat, &cameraOrientationQuat, &tempQuat); ...which all works fine. Now I need to build a view matrix to pass to DirectX SetTransform function. So I build a rotation matrix from the camera orientation quat as follows: D3DXMATRIXA16 rotationMatrix; D3DXMatrixIdentity(&rotationMatrix); D3DXMatrixRotationQuaternion(&rotationMatrix, &cameraOrientationQuat); ...Now (as seen below) if I just transpose that rotationMatrix and plug it into the 3x3 section of the view matrix, then negate the camera's position and plug it into the translation section of the view matrix, the rotation magically works. Perfectly. (even when I add in rotations for all three axes). There's no gimbal lock, just a smooth rotation all around in any direction. BUT- this works even though I never change the camera's position. At all. Which sorta blows my mind. I even display the camera position and can watch it stay constant at it's starting point (0.0, 0.0, -4000.0). It never moves, but the rotation around the sphere is perfect. I don't understand that. For proper view rotation, the camera position should be revolving around the sphere. Here's the rest of building the view matrix (I'll talk about the commented code below). Note that the camera starts out at (0.0, 0.0, -4000.0) and m_camDistToTarget is 4000.0: /* D3DXVECTOR3 vec1; D3DXVECTOR4 vec2; vec1.x = 0.0f; vec1.y = 0.0f; vec1.z = -1.0f; D3DXVec3Transform(&vec2, &vec1, &rotationMatrix); g_cameraActor->pos.x = vec2.x * g_cameraActor->m_camDistToTarget; g_cameraActor->pos.y = vec2.y * g_cameraActor->m_camDistToTarget; g_cameraActor->pos.z = vec2.z * g_cameraActor->m_camDistToTarget; */ D3DXMatrixTranspose(&g_viewMatrix, &rotationMatrix); g_viewMatrix._41 = -g_cameraActor->pos.x; g_viewMatrix._42 = -g_cameraActor->pos.y; g_viewMatrix._43 = -g_cameraActor->pos.z; g_viewMatrix._44 = 1.0f; g_direct3DDevice9->SetTransform( D3DTS_VIEW, &g_viewMatrix ); ...(The world matrix is always an identity, and the perspective projection works fine). ...So, without the commented code being compiled, the rotation works fine. But to be proper, for obvious reasons, the camera position should be rotating around the sphere, which it currently is not. That's what the commented code is supposed to do. And when I add in that chunk of code to do that, and look at all the data as I hold the keys down (using UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT to rotate different directions) all the values look correct! The camera position is rotating around the sphere just fine, and I can watch that happen visually too. The problem is that the camera orientation does not lookat the center of the sphere. It always looks straight forward down the z axis (toward positive z) as it revolves around the sphere. Yet the values of both the rotation matrix and the view matrix seem to be behaving correctly. (The view matrix orientation is the same as the rotation matrix, just transposed). For instance if I just hold down the key to spin around the x axis, I can watch the values of the three axes represented in the view matrix (x, y, and z axes)... view x-axis stays at (1.0, 0.0, 0.0), and view y-axis and z-axis both spin around the x axis just fine. All the numbers are changing as they should be... well, almost. As far as I can tell, the position of the view matrix is spinning around the sphere one direction (like clockwise), and the orientation (the axes in the view matrix) are spinning the opposite direction (like counter-clockwise). Which I guess explains why the orientation appears to stay straight ahead. I know the position is correct. It revolves properly. It's the orientation that's wrong. Can anyone see what am I doing wrong? Am I using these functions incorrectly? Or is my algorithm flawed? As usual I've been combing my code for simple mistakes for many hours. I'm willing to post the actual code, and a video of the behavior, but that will take much more effort. Thought I'd ask this way first.

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  • cannot access ubuntu 12.04 SAMBA share from windows 7 using hostname

    - by user98398
    I've been trying for days to get this working, and everywhere I look online it seems no one has a definitive answer, so here is the run down: I have an external drive attached to my ubuntu 12.04 machine, "nicholas-desktop." I have the entire drive shared over the network via SAMBA. If I try to access the drive from windows 7 by using "\nicholas-desktop" it fails saying it cannot locate "nicholas-desktop." However, if I use the current IP address assigned to my machine by my router's DHCP server by typing "\192.168.2.XXX" I have no problems accessing the share. if I try to ping my ubuntu machine's hostname from windows it fails. The same happens if I try to ping my windows machine, "nicholas-laptop" from my ubuntu machine. Again, if I use either machine's assigned IP address it works fine. Can someone please help me get this working? I don't want any workarounds like setting a static IP, or DHCP reservation, I want to be able to resolve hostnames from both sides. I have tried enabling SAMBA'a WINS server so I could resolve the hostnames using netBIOS, however that didn't work either, I may have made a mistake setting it up though. Thanks for your time, NCB

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  • Checking who is connected to your server, with PowerShell.

    - by Fatherjack
    There are many occasions when, as a DBA, you want to see who is connected to your SQL Server, along with how they are connecting and what sort of activities they are carrying out. I’m going to look at a couple of ways of getting this information and compare the effort required and the results achieved of each. SQL Server comes with a couple of stored procedures to help with this sort of task – sp_who and its undocumented counterpart sp_who2. There is also the pumped up version of these called sp_whoisactive, written by Adam Machanic which does way more than these procedures. I wholly recommend you try it out if you don’t already know how it works. When it comes to serious interrogation of your SQL Server activity then it is absolutely indispensable. Anyway, back to the point of this blog, we are going to look at getting the information from sp_who2 for a remote server. I wrote this Powershell script a week or so ago and was quietly happy with it for a while. I’m relatively new to Powershell so forgive both my rather low threshold for entertainment and the fact that something so simple is a moderate achievement for me. $Server = 'SERVERNAME' $SMOServer = New-Object Microsoft.SQLServer.Management.SMO.Server $Server # connection and query stuff         $ConnectionStr = "Server=$Server;Database=Master;Integrated Security=True" $Query = "EXEC sp_who2" $Connection = new-object system.Data.SQLClient.SQLConnection $Table = new-object "System.Data.DataTable" $Connection.connectionstring = $ConnectionStr try{ $Connection.open() $Command = $Connection.CreateCommand() $Command.commandtext = $Query $result = $Command.ExecuteReader() $Table.Load($result) } catch{ # Show error $error[0] | format-list -Force } $Title = "Data access processes (" + $Table.Rows.Count + ")" $Table | Out-GridView -Title $Title $Connection.close() So this is pretty straightforward, create an SMO object that represents our chosen server, define a connection to the database and a table object for the results when we get them, execute our query over the connection, load the results into our table object and then, if everything is error free display these results to the PowerShell grid viewer. The query simply gets the results of ‘EXEC sp_who2′ for us. Depending on how many connections there are will influence how long the query runs. The grid viewer lets me sort and search the results so it can be a pretty handy way to locate troublesome connections. Like I say, I was quite pleased with this, it seems a pretty simple script and was working well for me, I have added a few parameters to control the output and give me more specific details but then I see a script that uses the $SMOServer object itself to provide the process information and saves having to define the connection object and query specifications. $Server = 'SERVERNAME' $SMOServer = New-Object Microsoft.SQLServer.Management.SMO.Server $Server $Processes = $SMOServer.EnumProcesses() $Title = "SMO processes (" + $Processes.Rows.Count + ")" $Processes | Out-GridView -Title $Title Create the SMO object of our server and then call the EnumProcesses method to get all the process information from the server. Staggeringly simple! The results are a little different though. Some columns are the same and we can see the same basic information so my first thought was to which runs faster – so that I can get my results more quickly and also so that I place less stress on my server(s). PowerShell comes with a great way of testing this – the Measure-Command function. All you have to do is wrap your piece of code in Measure-Command {[your code here]} and it will spit out the time taken to execute the code. So, I placed both of the above methods of getting SQL Server process connections in two Measure-Command wrappers and pressed F5! The Powershell console goes blank for a while as the code is executed internally when Measure-Command is used but the grid viewer windows appear and the console shows this. You can take the output from Measure-Command and format it for easier reading but in a simple comparison like this we can simply cross refer the TotalMilliseconds values from the two result sets to see how the two methods performed. The query execution method (running EXEC sp_who2 ) is the first set of timings and the SMO EnumProcesses is the second. I have run these on a variety of servers and while the results vary from execution to execution I have never seen the SMO version slower than the other. The difference has varied and the time for both has ranged from sub-second as we see above to almost 5 seconds on other systems. This difference, I would suggest is partly due to the cost overhead of having to construct the data connection and so on where as the SMO EnumProcesses method has the connection to the server already in place and just needs to call back the process information. There is also the difference in the data sets to consider. Let’s take a look at what we get and where the two methods differ Query execution method (sp_who2) SMO EnumProcesses Description - Urn What looks like an XML or JSON representation of the server name and the process ID SPID Spid The process ID Status Status The status of the process Login Login The login name of the user executing the command HostName Host The name of the computer where the  process originated BlkBy BlockingSpid The SPID of a process that is blocking this one DBName Database The database that this process is connected to Command Command The type of command that is executing CPUTime Cpu The CPU activity related to this process DiskIO - The Disk IO activity related to this process LastBatch - The time the last batch was executed from this process. ProgramName Program The application that is facilitating the process connection to the SQL Server. SPID1 - In my experience this is always the same value as SPID. REQUESTID - In my experience this is always 0 - Name In my experience this is always the same value as SPID and so could be seen as analogous to SPID1 from sp_who2 - MemUsage An indication of the memory used by this process but I don’t know what it is measured in (bytes, Kb, Mb…) - IsSystem True or False depending on whether the process is internal to the SQL Server instance or has been created by an external connection requesting data. - ExecutionContextID In my experience this is always 0 so could be analogous to REQUESTID from sp_who2. Please note, these are my own very brief descriptions of these columns, detail can be found from MSDN for columns in the sp_who results here http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-GB/library/ms174313.aspx. Where the columns are common then I would use that description, in other cases then the information returned is purely for interpretation by the reader. Rather annoyingly both result sets have useful information that the other doesn’t. sp_who2 returns Disk IO and LastBatch information which is really useful but the SMO processes method give you IsSystem and MemUsage which have their place in fault diagnosis methods too. So which is better? On reflection I think I prefer to use the sp_who2 method primarily but knowing that the SMO Enumprocesses method is there when I need it is really useful and I’m sure I’ll use it regularly. I’m OK with the fact that it is the slower method because Measure-Command has shown me how close it is to the other option and that it really isn’t a large enough margin to matter.

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  • can't access SAMBA shares on UBUNTU-server from other computers

    - by larand
    Installed UBUNTU-server 12.04 and configured /etc/samba/smb.conf as: #======================= Global Settings ======================= [global] workgroup = HEMMA server string = %h server (Samba, Ubuntu) security = user wins support = yes dns proxy = no log file = /var/log/samba/log.%m max log size = 1000 syslog = 0 panic action = /usr/share/samba/panic-action %d encrypt passwords = no passdb backend = tdbsam obey pam restrictions = yes unix password sync = yes passwd program = /usr/bin/passwd %u passwd chat = *Enter\snew\s*\spassword:* %n\n *Retype\snew\s*\spassword:* %n\n *password\supdated\ssuccessfully* . pam password change = yes map to guest = bad user ############ Misc ############ usershare allow guests = yes #======================= Share Definitions ======================= [printers] comment = All Printers browseable = no path = /var/spool/samba printable = yes guest ok = no read only = yes create mask = 0700 # Windows clients look for this share name as a source of downloadable # printer drivers [print$] comment = Printer Drivers path = /var/lib/samba/printers browseable = yes read only = yes guest ok = no [Bilder original] comment = Original bilder path = /mnt/bilder/org browseable = yes read only = no guest ok = no create mask = 0755 [Bilder publika] comment = Bilder för allmän visning path = /mnt/bilder/public browseable = yes read only = yes guest ok = yes [Musik] comment = Musik path = /mnt/music/public browseable = yes read only = yes guest ok = yes I have a network setup around a 4G router "HUAWEI B593" where some computers are connected by WIFI and others by LAN. The server is connected by LAN. On one computer running windows XP I can see the server but are not allowed to acces them. On another computer on the WIFI-net running win7 I cannot see the server at all but I can ping the server and I can see the smb-protocoll is running when sniffing with wireshark. I don't primarily want to use passwords, computers on the lan and wifi should be able to connect without any login-procedure. I'm sure my config is not sufficient but have hard to understand how I should do. Theres a lot of descriptions on the net but most is old and none have been of any help. I'm also confused by the fact that I can not se the sever on my win7-machine even though it communicates with the samba-server. Would be very happy if anyone could spread some light over this mess.

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  • More Tables or More Databases?

    - by BuckWoody
    I got an e-mail from someone that has an interesting situation. He has 15,000 customers, and he asks if he should have a database for their data per customer. Without a LOT more data it’s impossible to say, of course, but there are some general concepts to keep in mind. Whenever you’re segmenting data, it’s all about boundary choices. You have not only boundaries around how big the data will get, but things like how many objects (tables, stored procedures and so on) that will be involved, if there are any cross-sections of data (do they share location or product information) and – very important – what are the security requirements? From the answer to these types of questions, you now have the choice of making multiple tables in a single database, or using multiple databases. A database carries some overhead – it needs a certain amount of memory for locking and so on. But it has a very clean boundary – everything from objects to security can be kept apart. Having multiple users in the same database is possible as well, using things like a Schema. But keeping 15,000 schemas can be challenging as well. My recommendation in complex situations like this is similar to a post on decisions that I did earlier – I lay out the choices on a spreadsheet in rows, and then my requirements at the top in the columns. I  give each choice a number based on how well it meets each requirement. At the end, the highest number wins. And many times it’s a mix – perhaps this person could segment customers into larger regions or districts or products, in a database. Within that database might be multiple schemas for the customers. Of course, he needs to query across all customers, that becomes another requirement. Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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  • “It’s only test code…”

    - by Chris George
    “Let me hack this in, it’s only test code”, “Don’t worry about getting it reviewed, it’s only test code”, “It doesn’t have to be elegant or efficient, it’s only test code”… do these phrases sound familiar? Chances are if you’ve working with test automation, at one point or other you will have heard these phrases, you have probably even used them yourself! What is certain is that code written under this “it’s only test code” mantra will come back and bite you in the arse! I’ve recently encountered a case where a test was giving a false positive, therefore hiding a real product bug because that test code was very badly written. Firstly it was very difficult to understand what the test was actually trying to achieve let alone how it was doing it, and this complexity masked a simple logic error. These issues are real and they do happen. Let’s take a step back from this and look at what we are trying to do. We are writing test code that tests product code, and we do this to create a suite of tests that will help protect our software against regressions. This test code is making sure that the product behaves as it should by employing some sort of expected result verification. The simple cases of these are generally not a problem. However, automation allows us to explore more complex scenarios in many more permutations. As this complexity increases then so does the complexity of the test code. It is at this point that code which has not been architected properly will cause problems.   Keep your friends close… So, how do we make sure we are doing it right? The development teams I have worked on have always had Test Engineers working very closely with their Software Engineers. This is something that I have always tried to take full advantage of. They are coding experts! So run your ideas past them, ask for advice on how to structure your code, help you design your data structures. This may require a shift in your teams viewpoint, as contrary to this section title and folklore, Software Engineers are not actually the mortal enemy of Test Engineers. As time progresses, and test automation becomes more and more ingrained in what we do, the two roles are converging more than ever. Over the 16 years I have spent as a Test Engineer, I have seen the grey area between the two roles grow significantly larger. This serves to strengthen the relationship and common bond between the two roles which helps to make test code activities so much easier!   Pair for the win Possibly the best thing you could do to write good test code is to pair program on the task. This will serve a few purposes. you will get the benefit of the Software Engineers knowledge and experience the Software Engineer will gain knowledge on the testing process. Sharing the love is a wonderful thing! two pairs of eyes are always better than one… And so are two brains. Between the two of you, I will guarantee you will derive more useful test cases than if it was just one of you.   Code reviews Another policy which certainly pays dividends is the practice of code reviews. By having one of your peers review your code before you commit it serves two purposes. Firstly, it forces you to explain your code. Just the act of doing this will often pick up errors in your code. Secondly, it gets yet another pair of eyes on your code! I cannot stress enough how important code reviews are. The benefits they offer apply as much to product code as test code. In short, Software and Test Engineers should all be doing them! It can be extended even further by getting test code reviewed by a Software Engineer and a Test Engineer, and likewise product code. This serves to keep both functions in the loop with changes going on within your code base.   Learn from your devs I briefly touched on this earlier but I’d like to go into more detail here. Pairing with your Software Engineers when writing your test code is such an amazing opportunity to improve your coding skills. As I sit here writing this article waiting to be called into court for jury service, it reminds me that it takes a lot of patience to be a Test Engineer, almost as much as it takes to be a juror! However tempting it is to go rushing in and start writing your automated tests, resist that urge. Discuss what you want to achieve then talk through the approach you’re going to take. Then code it up together. I find it really enlightening to ask questions like ‘is there a better way to do this?’ Or ‘is this how you would code it?’ The latter question, especially, is where I learn the most. I’ve found that most Software Engineers will be reluctant to show you the ‘right way’ to code something when writing tests because they perceive the ‘right way’ to be too complicated for the Test Engineer (e.g. not mentioning LINQ and instead doing something verbose). So by asking how THEY would code it, it unleashes their true dev-ness and advanced code usually ensues! I would like to point out, however, that you don’t have to accept their method as the final answer. On numerous occasions I have opted for the more simple/verbose solution because I found the code written by the Software Engineer too advanced and therefore I would find it unreadable when I return to the code in a months’ time! Always keep the target audience in mind when writing clever code, and in my case that is mostly Test Engineers.  

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  • Taming Hopping Windows

    - by Roman Schindlauer
    At first glance, hopping windows seem fairly innocuous and obvious. They organize events into windows with a simple periodic definition: the windows have some duration d (e.g. a window covers 5 second time intervals), an interval or period p (e.g. a new window starts every 2 seconds) and an alignment a (e.g. one of those windows starts at 12:00 PM on March 15, 2012 UTC). var wins = xs     .HoppingWindow(TimeSpan.FromSeconds(5),                    TimeSpan.FromSeconds(2),                    new DateTime(2012, 3, 15, 12, 0, 0, DateTimeKind.Utc)); Logically, there is a window with start time a + np and end time a + np + d for every integer n. That’s a lot of windows. So why doesn’t the following query (always) blow up? var query = wins.Select(win => win.Count()); A few users have asked why StreamInsight doesn’t produce output for empty windows. Primarily it’s because there is an infinite number of empty windows! (Actually, StreamInsight uses DateTimeOffset.MaxValue to approximate “the end of time” and DateTimeOffset.MinValue to approximate “the beginning of time”, so the number of windows is lower in practice.) That was the good news. Now the bad news. Events also have duration. Consider the following simple input: var xs = this.Application                 .DefineEnumerable(() => new[]                     { EdgeEvent.CreateStart(DateTimeOffset.UtcNow, 0) })                 .ToStreamable(AdvanceTimeSettings.IncreasingStartTime); Because the event has no explicit end edge, it lasts until the end of time. So there are lots of non-empty windows if we apply a hopping window to that single event! For this reason, we need to be careful with hopping window queries in StreamInsight. Or we can switch to a custom implementation of hopping windows that doesn’t suffer from this shortcoming. The alternate window implementation produces output only when the input changes. We start by breaking up the timeline into non-overlapping intervals assigned to each window. In figure 1, six hopping windows (“Windows”) are assigned to six intervals (“Assignments”) in the timeline. Next we take input events (“Events”) and alter their lifetimes (“Altered Events”) so that they cover the intervals of the windows they intersect. In figure 1, you can see that the first event e1 intersects windows w1 and w2 so it is adjusted to cover assignments a1 and a2. Finally, we can use snapshot windows (“Snapshots”) to produce output for the hopping windows. Notice however that instead of having six windows generating output, we have only four. The first and second snapshots correspond to the first and second hopping windows. The remaining snapshots however cover two hopping windows each! While in this example we saved only two events, the savings can be more significant when the ratio of event duration to window duration is higher. Figure 1: Timeline The implementation of this strategy is straightforward. We need to set the start times of events to the start time of the interval assigned to the earliest window including the start time. Similarly, we need to modify the end times of events to the end time of the interval assigned to the latest window including the end time. The following snap-to-boundary function that rounds a timestamp value t down to the nearest value t' <= t such that t' is a + np for some integer n will be useful. For convenience, we will represent both DateTime and TimeSpan values using long ticks: static long SnapToBoundary(long t, long a, long p) {     return t - ((t - a) % p) - (t > a ? 0L : p); } How do we find the earliest window including the start time for an event? It’s the window following the last window that does not include the start time assuming that there are no gaps in the windows (i.e. duration < interval), and limitation of this solution. To find the end time of that antecedent window, we need to know the alignment of window ends: long e = a + (d % p); Using the window end alignment, we are finally ready to describe the start time selector: static long AdjustStartTime(long t, long e, long p) {     return SnapToBoundary(t, e, p) + p; } To find the latest window including the end time for an event, we look for the last window start time (non-inclusive): public static long AdjustEndTime(long t, long a, long d, long p) {     return SnapToBoundary(t - 1, a, p) + p + d; } Bringing it together, we can define the translation from events to ‘altered events’ as in Figure 1: public static IQStreamable<T> SnapToWindowIntervals<T>(IQStreamable<T> source, TimeSpan duration, TimeSpan interval, DateTime alignment) {     if (source == null) throw new ArgumentNullException("source");     // reason about DateTime and TimeSpan in ticks     long d = Math.Min(DateTime.MaxValue.Ticks, duration.Ticks);     long p = Math.Min(DateTime.MaxValue.Ticks, Math.Abs(interval.Ticks));     // set alignment to earliest possible window     var a = alignment.ToUniversalTime().Ticks % p;     // verify constraints of this solution     if (d <= 0L) { throw new ArgumentOutOfRangeException("duration"); }     if (p == 0L || p > d) { throw new ArgumentOutOfRangeException("interval"); }     // find the alignment of window ends     long e = a + (d % p);     return source.AlterEventLifetime(         evt => ToDateTime(AdjustStartTime(evt.StartTime.ToUniversalTime().Ticks, e, p)),         evt => ToDateTime(AdjustEndTime(evt.EndTime.ToUniversalTime().Ticks, a, d, p)) -             ToDateTime(AdjustStartTime(evt.StartTime.ToUniversalTime().Ticks, e, p))); } public static DateTime ToDateTime(long ticks) {     // just snap to min or max value rather than under/overflowing     return ticks < DateTime.MinValue.Ticks         ? new DateTime(DateTime.MinValue.Ticks, DateTimeKind.Utc)         : ticks > DateTime.MaxValue.Ticks         ? new DateTime(DateTime.MaxValue.Ticks, DateTimeKind.Utc)         : new DateTime(ticks, DateTimeKind.Utc); } Finally, we can describe our custom hopping window operator: public static IQWindowedStreamable<T> HoppingWindow2<T>(     IQStreamable<T> source,     TimeSpan duration,     TimeSpan interval,     DateTime alignment) {     if (source == null) { throw new ArgumentNullException("source"); }     return SnapToWindowIntervals(source, duration, interval, alignment).SnapshotWindow(); } By switching from HoppingWindow to HoppingWindow2 in the following example, the query returns quickly rather than gobbling resources and ultimately failing! public void Main() {     var start = new DateTimeOffset(new DateTime(2012, 6, 28), TimeSpan.Zero);     var duration = TimeSpan.FromSeconds(5);     var interval = TimeSpan.FromSeconds(2);     var alignment = new DateTime(2012, 3, 15, 12, 0, 0, DateTimeKind.Utc);     var events = this.Application.DefineEnumerable(() => new[]     {         EdgeEvent.CreateStart(start.AddSeconds(0), "e0"),         EdgeEvent.CreateStart(start.AddSeconds(1), "e1"),         EdgeEvent.CreateEnd(start.AddSeconds(1), start.AddSeconds(2), "e1"),         EdgeEvent.CreateStart(start.AddSeconds(3), "e2"),         EdgeEvent.CreateStart(start.AddSeconds(9), "e3"),         EdgeEvent.CreateEnd(start.AddSeconds(3), start.AddSeconds(10), "e2"),         EdgeEvent.CreateEnd(start.AddSeconds(9), start.AddSeconds(10), "e3"),     }).ToStreamable(AdvanceTimeSettings.IncreasingStartTime);     var adjustedEvents = SnapToWindowIntervals(events, duration, interval, alignment);     var query = from win in HoppingWindow2(events, duration, interval, alignment)                 select win.Count();     DisplayResults(adjustedEvents, "Adjusted Events");     DisplayResults(query, "Query"); } As you can see, instead of producing a massive number of windows for the open start edge e0, a single window is emitted from 12:00:15 AM until the end of time: Adjusted Events StartTime EndTime Payload 6/28/2012 12:00:01 AM 12/31/9999 11:59:59 PM e0 6/28/2012 12:00:03 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:07 AM e1 6/28/2012 12:00:05 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:15 AM e2 6/28/2012 12:00:11 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:15 AM e3 Query StartTime EndTime Payload 6/28/2012 12:00:01 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:03 AM 1 6/28/2012 12:00:03 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:05 AM 2 6/28/2012 12:00:05 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:07 AM 3 6/28/2012 12:00:07 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:11 AM 2 6/28/2012 12:00:11 AM 6/28/2012 12:00:15 AM 3 6/28/2012 12:00:15 AM 12/31/9999 11:59:59 PM 1 Regards, The StreamInsight Team

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  • General Availability: Simplified User Experience Design Patterns eBook

    - by ultan o'broin
    Karen Scipi (@karenscipi) writes: The Oracle Applications User Experience team is delighted to announce that our Simplified User Experience Design Patterns for the Oracle Applications Cloud Service eBook is available for free. Working with publishers McGraw-Hill, we're pleased to make the eBook available in EPUB (for use on Apple iOS devices), MOBI (ideal for Amazon Kindle), and PDF (for anything with Adobe Reader) versions. The Simplified User Experience Design Patterns for the Oracle Applications Cloud Service eBook We’re sharing the same user experience design patterns, and their supporting guidance on page types and Oracle ADF components that Oracle uses to build simplified user interfaces (UIs) for the Oracle Sales Cloud and Oracle Human Capital Management (HCM) Cloud, with you so that you can build your own simplified UI solutions. Click to register and download your free copy of the eBook Design patterns offer big wins for applications builders because they are proven, reusable, and based on Oracle technology. They enable developers, partners, and customers to design and build the best user experiences consistently, shortening the application's development cycle, boosting designer and developer productivity, and lowering the overall time and cost of building a great user experience. Developers use the eBook to build their own simplified UIs with Oracle ADF and Oracle JDeveloper Now, Oracle partners, customers and the Oracle ADF community can share further in the Oracle Applications User Experience science and design expertise that brought the acclaimed simplified UIs to the Cloud and they can build their own UIs, simply and productively too!

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  • Oracle Database Appliance - How to Sell a Unique Product : Webcast Replay

    - by Cinzia Mascanzoni
    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} Learn about: ODA Benefits : Fast, Easy, Cost Efficient, Highly Reliable Feedback from early Customer Wins : What can we learn? Objection Handling : Overcoming the most common customer questions Going beyond the Database: The ODA Eco System for applications, backup & more If you missed the  webcasts in April, go on the EMEA VAD Resource Center - Enablement Tab, click here and follow the instruction to access the replay.

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  • Knowing state of game in real time

    - by evthim
    I'm trying to code a tic tac toe game in java and I need help figuring out how to efficiently and without freezing the program check if someone won the game. I'm only in the design stages now, I haven't started programming anything but I'm wondering how would I know at all times the state of the game and exactly when someone wins? Response to MarkR: (note: had to place comment here, it was too long for comment section) It's not a homework problem, I'm trying to get more practice programming GUI's which I've only done once as a freshman in my second introductory programming course. I understand I'll have a 2D array. I plan to have a 2D integer array where x would equal 1 and o would equal 0. However, won't it take too much time if I check after every move if someone won the game? Is there a way or a data structure or algorithm I can use so that the program will know the state (when I say state I mean not just knowing every position on the board, the int array will take care of that, I mean knowing that user 1 will win if he places x on this block) of the game at all times and thus can know automatically when someone won?

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  • How do I mount a CIFS share via FSTAB and give full RW to Guest

    - by Kendor
    I want to create a Public folder that has full RW access. The problem with my configuration is that Windows users have no issues as guests (they can RW and Delete), my Ubuntu client can't do the same. We can only write and read, but not create or delete. Here is the my smb.conf from my server: [global] workgroup = WORKGROUP netbios name = FILESERVER server string = TurnKey FileServer os level = 20 security = user map to guest = Bad Password passdb backend = tdbsam null passwords = yes admin users = root encrypt passwords = true obey pam restrictions = yes pam password change = yes unix password sync = yes passwd program = /usr/bin/passwd %u passwd chat = *Enter\snew\s*\spassword:* %n\n *Retype\snew\s*\spassword:* %n\n *password\supdated\ssuccessfully* . add user script = /usr/sbin/useradd -m '%u' -g users -G users delete user script = /usr/sbin/userdel -r '%u' add group script = /usr/sbin/groupadd '%g' delete group script = /usr/sbin/groupdel '%g' add user to group script = /usr/sbin/usermod -G '%g' '%u' guest account = nobody syslog = 0 log file = /var/log/samba/samba.log max log size = 1000 wins support = yes dns proxy = no socket options = TCP_NODELAY panic action = /usr/share/samba/panic-action %d [homes] comment = Home Directory browseable = no read only = no valid users = %S [storage] create mask = 0777 directory mask = 0777 browseable = yes comment = Public Share writeable = yes public = yes path = /srv/storage The following FSTAB entry doesn't yield full R/W access to the share. //192.168.0.5/storage /media/myname/TK-Public/ cifs rw 0 0 This doesn't work either //192.168.0.5/storage /media/myname/TK-Public/ cifs rw,guest,iocharset=utf8,file_mode=0777,dir_mode=0777,noperm 0 0 Using the following location in Nemo/Nautilus w/o the Share being mounted does work: smb://192.168.0.5/storage/ Extra info. I just noticed that if I copy a file to the share after mounting, my Ubuntu client immediately make "nobody" be the owner, and the group "no group" has read and write, with everyone else as read-only. What am I doing wrong?

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  • More Tables or More Databases?

    - by BuckWoody
    I got an e-mail from someone that has an interesting situation. He has 15,000 customers, and he asks if he should have a database for their data per customer. Without a LOT more data it’s impossible to say, of course, but there are some general concepts to keep in mind. Whenever you’re segmenting data, it’s all about boundary choices. You have not only boundaries around how big the data will get, but things like how many objects (tables, stored procedures and so on) that will be involved, if there are any cross-sections of data (do they share location or product information) and – very important – what are the security requirements? From the answer to these types of questions, you now have the choice of making multiple tables in a single database, or using multiple databases. A database carries some overhead – it needs a certain amount of memory for locking and so on. But it has a very clean boundary – everything from objects to security can be kept apart. Having multiple users in the same database is possible as well, using things like a Schema. But keeping 15,000 schemas can be challenging as well. My recommendation in complex situations like this is similar to a post on decisions that I did earlier – I lay out the choices on a spreadsheet in rows, and then my requirements at the top in the columns. I  give each choice a number based on how well it meets each requirement. At the end, the highest number wins. And many times it’s a mix – perhaps this person could segment customers into larger regions or districts or products, in a database. Within that database might be multiple schemas for the customers. Of course, he needs to query across all customers, that becomes another requirement. Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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  • Ranking players depending on decision making during a game

    - by tabchas
    How would I go about a ranking system for players that play a game? Basically, looking at video games, players throughout the game make critical decisions that ultimately impact the end game result. Is there a way or how would I go about a way to translate some of those factors (leveling up certain skills, purchasing certain items, etc.) into something like a curve that can be plotted on a graph? This game that I would like to implement this is League of Legends. Example: Player is Level 1 in the beginning. Gets a kill very early in the game (he gets gold because of the kill and it increases his "power curve"), and purchases attack damage (gives him more damage which also increases his "power curve". However, the player that he killed (Player 2), buys armor (counters attack damage). This slightly increases Player 2's own power curve, and reduces Player 1's power curve. There's many factors I would like to take into account. These relative factors (example: BECAUSE Player 2 built armor, and I am mainly attack damage, it lowers my OWN power curve) seem the hardest to implement. My question is this: Is there a certain way to approach this task? Are there similar theoretical concepts behind ranking systems that I should read up on? I've seen the ELO system, but it doesn't seem what I want since it simply takes into account wins and losses.

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  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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  • SQL SERVER – A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words – A Collection of Inspiring and Funny Posts by Vinod Kumar

    - by pinaldave
    One of the most popular quotes is: A picture is worth a thousand words. Working on this concept I started a series over my blog called the “Picture Post”. Rather than rambling over tons of material over text, we are trying to give you a capsule mode of the blog in a quick glance. Some of the picture posts already available over my blog are: Correlation of Ego and Work: Ego and Pride most of the times become a hindrance when we work inside a team. Take this cue, the first ever Picture post was published. Simple and easy to understand concept. Would want to say, Ego is the biggest enemy to humans. Read Original Post. Success (Perception Vs Reality): Personally, have always thought success is not something the talented achieve with the opportunity presented to them, but success is developed using the opportunity in hand now. In this fast paced world where success is pre-defined and convoluted by metrics it is hard to understand how complex it can sometimes be. So I took a stab at this concept in a simple way. Read Original Post. Doing Vs Saying: As Einstein would describe, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Given the amount of information we get, it is difficult to keep track, learn and implement the same. If you were ever reminded of your college days, there will always be 5-6 people doing different things and we naturally try to emulate what they are doing. This could be from competitive exams GMAT, GRE, CAT, Higher-Ed, B-School hunting etc. Rather than saying you are going to do, it is best to do and then say!!! Read Original Picture Post. Your View Vs Management View: Being in the corporate world can be really demanding and we keep asking this question – “Why me?” when the performance appraisal process ends. In this post I just want to ask you one frank opinion – “Are you really self-critical in your assessments?”. If that is the case there shouldn’t be any heartburns or surprises. If you had just one thing to take back, well forget what others are getting but invest time in making yourself better because that is going to take you longer and further in your career. Read Picture Post. Blogging lifecycle for majority: I am happy and fortunate to be in this blog post because this picture post surely doesn’t apply to SQLAuthority where consistency and persistence have been the hallmark of the blog. For the majority others, who have a tendency to start a blog, get into slumber for a while and write saying they want to get back to blogging, the picture post was specifically done for them. Paradox of being someone else: It is always a dream that we want to become somebody and in this process of doing so, we become nobody. In this constant tussle of lost identity we forget to enjoy the moment that is in front of us. I just depicted this using a simple analogy of our constant struggle to get to the other side, just to realize we missed the wonderful moments. Grass is not greener on the other side, but grass is greener where we water the surface. Read Picture Post. And on the lighter side… Reference: Pinal Dave (http://blog.SQLAuthority.com) Filed under: About Me, PostADay, SQL, SQL Authority, SQL Query, SQL Server, SQL Tips and Tricks, T SQL, Technology

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